Fuck. Fuck. Fuck-ity-fuck-fuck!
God dammit to hell... Why did this shit have to happen to me of all people!? Fucking stuck and nearly killed by a goddamn IMC mook while I was trying to escape, now whatever the fuck the docs we saved triggered got me flying sky-fucking-high. This is not the way I wanted my day to start or end!
Operator. If you would calm down, please. You are aggravating me too.
Jesus, you scared me! I still haven't gotten used to you being in my head yet, Shelly...
I technically am not 'in your head', sergeant Bradford. We are linked via a neural relay that acts as-
Just a figure of speech, Shell. Just a figure of speech. I don't need the technobabble right now...
Ah, yes. I shall adapt my parameters to your 'sarcasm', Sergeant.
First an AI titan, then me being experimented on by IMC scientists and now having said AI lodged into my brain while I'm trying to operate my fucking Titan. And she also makes fucking jokes. Shelly, what else can you fucking do?
I act as your assistant, your Titan co-pilot, operate the Titan when you do not man it and can also participate in active Cyberwarfare against enemy Titans and Pilots.
Oh... Jack of all trades, much? Next thing you tell me, you've also got a Coffee Machine on you... Have you?
Yes.
Fucking... *Sigh* Just find us a safe spot to fucking land.
Master Sergeant Marius Bradford, a former soldier of the IMC's experimental brigade, was freefalling in his heavy-duty combat Titan, through the atmosphere of some unknown planet. The holoscreen showing the outside had been completely shut off as to not burn Marius' retinas. The boy still felt the heat of reentry, even inside the climate-controlled Titan itself. The boy leaned back into his chair, arms crossed. It was surprising the gravitational pull, combined with the rather explosive drop into the atmosphere weren't doing 3 things. Tearing the Titan apart, squishing the boy alive... Or burning him to Cinders.
"Initiating slowed descent procedures. Be advised:The landing may turn rough. Please brace for impact." The Titan's AI, SH-31L, known as 'Shelly' to Marius, warned in a monotone, robotic female voice. Marius sighed and with little enthusiasm, grabbed onto the control sticks of the Titan. He felt a sudden shake in the vehicle, then heard the roar of the jet-boots of the Titan going at full power. The boy gritted his teeth behind his helmet's oxygen filter. This was gonna be a shit lan-
He felt his spine practically turn into an accordion during a Latvian song for two seconds as the air was knocked out of his lungs. The boy coughed violently, then took off his helmet and pushed his sweat-doused black hair back and out of his eyes. He felt the wire going into the back of his neck, then whined "Christ's sakes, Shelly... Couldn't you have made it a more smooth landing than that?"
"Any attempt to divert from my course or dampen the landing had a 75% chance in killing you or crippling and confining you to my body until death, Sergeant. This way, there was only a 55% chance for said two scenarios to happen." Shelly announced. The soldier sighed deeply, then said sarcastically "Really making me feel better about my odds, aren't you, Shell?"
"I deduced you would rather take the less likely possibility of dying or being crippled, Sergeant. Should I correct that?" Shelly returned in a nigh-similar tone, but still as robotic as ever. Marius' brow raised, then he asked "'nother joke? Jeez, Shelly. You're makin' me think you've actually got a sense of humor. How's my spine doing?"
"The pressure was thankfully not enough to cause any major, or even hairline fractures, Sergeant." Shelly reported. The boy sighed deeply in relief, then muttered to himself "At least that goes well for me..." as he took his helmet and slid it on his head. He then said "Activate the Holo-screens... Show me what the outside's like." to Shelly... Ahead of him, materialized an open street, buildings, people... And cars.
"Woah, fUcK." The boy said, eyes wide.
"I landed in the least-populated area of the city." The AI noted.
"If this is the least fucking populated, Shell, I dread what this place must be at rush hour." The Sergeant quipped, looking about. "Let me out for a moment... I think I should talk to these people."
"Not recommended:I detect a combat machine heading our way..." Shell warned.
"Just fucking override that safety protocol for now, Shell. I'm going out." The boy ordered, grabbing his V47 rifle and D-101 Longbow sniper, as well as the Smart Pistol, before dropping out of the front of the vehicle onto the street and watching as frightened people either stared at him or took photos. The soldier wore a helmet, thankfully... He raised his hands, showing them empty, then said "Look, everyone, This is a big fucking misunderstanding! I didn't mean to land in the middle of your goddamn city or make this mess! It's just... Err..." he paused for a moment, lowering his hands "Fuck... I had something..." and he turned about, trying to remember.
"Excuse me. Sky Man?" asked a youthful voice from behind him. The soldier gasped and, hand wrapped around the pistol, turned about, to be greeted by a young girl with luscious carrot hair, freckles, emerald-green eyes and a cutesy face. She was petite, but not excessively so and wore clothes that seemed to be tailored just for her, matching her style properly.
"Sweet fucking Jesus, you're cute." The boy murmured, then shook his head and said "Uhm... Hi?" looking at the girl. She tilted her head, then asked "Are you hostile, Sky Man?" to which the boy shook his head and said "Ooooh! That! Nonono! I was just about to try and explain it." to which the girl sighed happily "Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd have to fight you. What about your mechanized fighting unit?"
"Shell? Nah, she's cool. Right, Shell?" The soldier said jovially now.
"Yes. I am non-hostile at the moment." The robotic female voice boomed through the speakers. Marius turned to the girl, then said "See? We're all friends here... Even if one of us is a... Supersized... Mecha. With an Anti-Tank gun." He chuckled awkwardly and extended his hand toward her "I'm Master Sergeant Darius Bradford. Formerly of the IMC, now I kinda run solo. Big girl behind me is Shelly."
"Oh..." Penny tilted her head slightly. She took his hand and shook it strongly, then said "I'm Penny Polendina. Atlas academy student. A pleasure to meet you both, Marius, Shelly." and smiling at them. The boy nodded... Then froze as the sound of marching boots sounded off. He growled, drew the V47 and aimed down sights. Shell reported "Taking automated Combat Stance. Mode:Defense and Escort." as the towering, heavily armed mech stood up on its own two feet from a knelt position, drawing its heavy weapon. A large 30mm Depleted Uranium anti-tank cannon. Shell towered over a small building beside her and the other two. The civilians scattered out of the area.
"Recommendations, Shell? And numbers!" He demanded, racking the bolt of his weapon. Shell hummed, then responded "12 soldiers. Light armor and weapons. Recommend evasion if we want to take this as peacefully as possible. Or if you desire to start a war against one Man and his Machine, that can also be done." as she fed a round into the chamber of the machine-cannon.
Marius looked to Penny, then asked "Local Security?" to which the girl nodded hurriedly and said "If you two would follow me, I know a good place to hide."
"Can Shell fit in it toooooooooOOOOOOOOPENNYWHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOING!?"
With a heave, the young girl, who seemed so small and petite, lifted a fully-equipped, fully armed and fully armored Pilot like he was just a sheet of paper. She said "Sorry! But this is the fastest way to go! Miss Shell, please follow me!" before dashing off at high enough speed to suddenly vanish. Shell looked to identify Penny and the Sergeant's tags, then pushed herself forward with both her feet. She was surprisingly light enough not to crack concrete below as they went into a large alleyway. The Titan activated boosters and skidded to a halt inside an open area, then knelt down just under the buildings, hiding herself as she reached Penny... And a Marius with motion sickness.
The boy's helmet was off his head, thrown into Penny's hands as he retched and belched, throwing up into a dumpster. Penny seemed awkward now. Shell looked to Penny, then said "Your speed was too high for a normal human. What are you, Penny Polendina?" to which Penny looked at the mech and said "It's kinda a secret..." to which the Mech let out an audible mechanical 'sigh', more like a whirr, then turned to the Sergeant and asked in a sort of mockery "Has your bout of motion sickness-fueled projectile vomiting ended, Sergeant?"
The Sergeant lifted up one digit on his left hand, leaning on the right as he threw up some more.
"Obscene signs are not required, Sergeant. You could've just said a quick 'negative'." The Mech observed as the Sergeant continued a spree of vomit. Finally, the young man collapsed, turning toward them with a runny nose and leaning against the dumpster, paler than bone, before swallowing and saying "Shelly... I swear to God..." as he leaned his head back. He took out his canteen, uncapped it, drank part of the water and threw the rest on his face, to clean himself of any remaining vomit and snot.
"Forgive me for that, Marius... I did not intend to harm you." Penny said, looking saddened. Marius chuckled, then said "Penny... You kinda maybe saved our asses... I don't think I have a right to be mad just for my lost breakfast, lunch and dinner." before slowly standing up to his feet. Penny looked enamored now, just as she realized the Sergeant was without a helmet. He was a stunningly handsome young man with straight black hair, azure eyes and well-defined facial features, as well as a scar going across his face from his right brow to the left side of his chin.
The boy placed a hand on his helmet while Penny was still staring and tried to grab it... But it seemed to be stuck. "Err... Penny?" The boy looked to her with concern, pulling with both hands at the helmet. "Penny? You can let go now..." and yanked even harder, to no avail "PENNY!" he called out, then tumbled back with the helmet as Penny gasped and let go, taken out of her trance. The boy grunted, then slid his helmet onto his head and said "Well, if that wasn't weird... What, did you have a glitch in the system?" he then quipped.
"Ehehe... No. I mean, what system do you mean?" The girl awkwardly asked, letting rip a hiccup soon after. The Sergeant's brow quirked up, but he chose to ignore it for now. He nodded to Penny, then said "Thanks for back there... Now can I ask something real quick?" calmly dusting his armored suit off. The girl nodded, then said "Ask away."
"Where... Where exactly are we?" The boy inquired.
"What?" Penny said with a dumbfound look. Marius sighed, then said "Listen, as dumb as it may seem, I'm pretty sure you guys don't have Titans working for you. And there's no planet in the world I've seen with this architecture save maybe for Terra. I grew up in the German Confederation after all. I know the layouts of the buildings, but I doubt whatever happened to me and Shell propelled us all the way back to the cradle of human civilization. We were maybe a thousand light years away at least."
"Light-Years? Oh my Gods... You're not from Remnant!" Penny exclaimed in such a high pitch that it nearly burst auditory sensors on both Marius' helmet and on Shelly. She covered her mouth, then said "SEN-SA-TIONAL! YOU'RE ALIENS! THE FIRST ONES I OR ANYONE ON REMNANT HAS EVER MET! My Gods, I can't wait to tell Ruby about this!" then she paused from her overexcited babbling... And her gleeful smile turned into a small frown.
"You okay, Penny?" Marius asked with concern. The girl nodded, then said a half-mouthed "Yes... It's... Nothing."
"My ass." The Sergeant said, making Penny look at him with a hint of shock as he leaned his V47 on his shoulder "What's up? You can talk to us. We owe you that much."
"Indeed." Shell mused. Penny pressed her index fingers together, then said "Uhm... It's nothing important at the minute. Now, about where you are. This planet is called Remnant. It's been the cradle of humanity for the past few millennia as far as understood by our scientists and philosophers. The city you currently reside in is Vale City, located within the Kingdom of Vale. There's three other kingdoms. Vacuo to the West, Mistral to the East and Atlas to the North."
"And you come from Atlas." Marius hummed. "Presume the place's highly-advanced too?"
"That, it is." Penny nodded. "Can I ask you about this IMC?"
"Interstellar Manufacturing Corporation. The ones who built the Titans and who own a shitload of subsidiaries that build weapons and gear. They're pretty much a big company-government that wants as much of the resources our colonies can offer as possible. It's why I left. Some of the ways the IMC treated civilians and Settlement Militia POWs was fucking horrific... I also decided to leave with one of their newest toys." He then smirked, pointing at Shelly.
"I was the assigned Titan under the Sergeant's command. The IMC attempted to disable me before we could leave, but the Scientists that mutinied saved us. And sent us here, somehow." Shelly explained to Penny. "I have yet to decipher how they sent us to this world, but I believe it best to let the data run through my systems. My main priority is keeping the Sergeant alive."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Shell." the boy returned, chuckling. He then looked to Penny and asked "Who's this Ruby?"
"Oh? She's a friend of mi-" the girl froze as Marius' stomach suddenly churned. The boy blushed, face thankfully hidden by his helmet, then said "Oh, Goddammit..." to which Penny gasped and said "Wait here. I'll go get food for you!" to which the boy called out "Nonono, Penny, you don't need to bother!" and the girl said "Nonsense! I'll be right back!" before dashing off without Marius being able to say another word.
He sat down next to the dumpster, then said "If she ain't something..." before starting to hum an old song he used to love.
"Hell Yeah, by Rev Theory." Shelly said. Marius chuckled, then said "Aye aye." racking the V47's bolt and checking it as he hummed the song. A few minutes passed and the boy saw Penny walking toward them with a large tray of Fast Food. The boy's eyes were wide and he was unconsciously drooling. His jump jets helped him rise to his feet quicker and help the girl with the tray...
Out of which literally nothing was left seconds later...
"Sorry, Penny... My stomach felt like it was self-digesting at this point..." He said. "I'll... Pay you back and buy you lunch some other time. You're a lifesaver!" to which Penny shook her head and said "Don't worry about it. I only do this because I want to."
Marius shook his head, then returned "I've gotta pay you back somehow. Just name a price or something you want. I'll find a way to give it to you." to which Penny gasped, then blushed and looked away, seemingly in deep thought. What was so hard to ask for, the soldier wondered. The girl said something in such a low voice, even the amplifiers in the helmet couldn't catch it. He took it off and said "Uhm... Say again?"
"W-Would you be my friend?" The girl stuttered, looking at the boy. The soldier stared in a deadpan for a moment, then said "That's it?" to which the girl started speaking out before the soldier said "Penny, for the love of God, I'd love to be friends with you. You're a literal lifesaver." to which the girl's expression immediately lit up. She joyfully jumped on the soldier and motherofgodhisbackhurt...
WIth a thud, the two landed against the floor...
"I should have mentioned she may have a weapon that weighs much more than she does at hand. Forgive me." Shelly noted.
"God fucking dammit..." Groaned the boy in pain.