A/N: And here's the companion to What It Means To Be Free. The first chapter is set directly after the war, in England. I don't own Hetalia, and the song is In The End by Linkin Park.
"From now on, consider me independent!"
"I won't allow it!"
ooo
It starts with
One thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Each step was more painful than the last.
England was covered in wounds, so many that a normal person would be incapacitated, but he walked on, up the front path, past the long dead flowers of his front garden. What had once swelled with a rainbow of colorful blooms was now filled with shriveled brown carcasses that were slowly dissolving in the never ending rain.
His hand fumbled with the key as he inserted it into the door knob and let himself in. Once upon a time, the door would have been opened by a smiling servant and he'd be greeted by a cheerful household, the dreary atmosphere outside at odds with the fire crackling in the hearth and the smell of freshly baked scones from the kitchen.
Instead, he was greeted by silence.
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he slowly shut the door, not bothering to lock it behind him.
For a while, he just stood there. Waiting. For what, he didn't know. For the sound of running feet and ringing laughter? To wake up in his bed and realize that this was all a dream, and that his little boy was still here with him?
All I know
He felt so hollow…
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
He ascended the staircase, feet dragging. Step after step after step, before he reached the landing, and turned the brass knob of the mahogany door to his right, letting himself into a perfectly preserved bedroom.
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It was a child's room, with a small bed and desk, a wardrobe, and a large chest to hold toys. It had a beautiful view of the courtyard in the back, a stone affair surrounded by rose bushes. He remembered the afternoons spent, drinking tea in the sun and hunting fairies only one of them could see…
It felt like only yesterday.
It's so unreal
Where had he gone wrong?
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
He sat down on the bed, and dust rose in a small cloud from the covers. It had been so long since he had lived in this room…
America.
His younger brother, his darling little boy.
He wasn't so little anymore.
I tried to hold on
But didn't even know
He reached over and picked up the stuffed bunny that had been resting on the pillow. The first toy he had ever made for him. The only thing that had been left behind when he stormed out without even saying goodbye.
I wasted it all
He pressed it to his face, taking in the familiar lingering scent as he tried not to soil it with any of the blood or dirt that still covered him. He hugged it tightly to his chest, trying to stop the ache that filled the empty place in his heart. As he stared at the floor, he saw a face instead. Gazing down at him as it stared at the ruin of the man it once knew.
Expressionless.
Just to watch you go
He hadn't cared. He'd never cared.
But he was all England had.
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
And now he was gone forever.
What it meant to me
Will eventually be a memory
Never to return.
Of a time I
Tried so hard
And got so far
It was finally beginning to sink it. He was alone again, all alone in this big house. His other brothers hated him, and his other colonies lived half a world away so they could manage business. Even though everyone had left him, England had always thought that America would be different. That he would stay.
In the end
It doesn't even matter
Apparently, he'd been wrong.
I had to fall
To lose it all
He was lonely once again.
In the end
It doesn't even matter
` He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, still holding the toy to his chest.
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
America…
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
He missed him so much.
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
England had given him his whole heart…
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
And he'd shattered it.
I tried so hard
And got so far
He was going to stay in that room for a long time, immersed in his presence, reliving the happier memories.
In the end
It doesn't even matter
They had been so happy…
I had to fall
To lose it all
He wanted to cry himself to sleep, to let it all out, but his eyes remained dry.
In the end
It doesn't even matter
He had no tears left.
Omake
Though the sun was baking the earth outside, India's parlor was quite cool. She was relaxing on a long couch, eating murukku and reading a book. It was nice to have a day off, away from the world of business and politics. Her boss had been so insistent lately, too, and she'd been in a meeting every day for the past week. Her break was well deserved.
A knock came from the enormous doors to her left, and she sat up, adjusting her light pink sari. She hadn't been expecting company, and she had ordered the servants not to interrupt her for anything but the most urgent of matters. However, curiosity bested her annoyance. "You may enter.
A servant opened the doors, leading a foreign man in and bowing to her before he left. "England!" she exclaimed, standing and offering him a chair, despite her confusion. "I hadn't been expecting you for another month at least."
As he sat, India noticed he winced slightly. He was thinner than he used to be, too, and his eyes lacked… something.
"I… had some time, so I thought I'd come see you," he said, smiling. It looked forced. He was paler than usual, she noticed. Maybe it was the white suit, instead of his usual black or brown.
"Is… everything okay?" she asked, hesitant. She didn't want to broach on a touchy subject, after all.
"Oh, everything's fine, fine. Terribly rainy in my country, you know. The sun is nice." His laugh was definitely forced this time, and his eyes remained empty.
India frowned, slightly concerned, but then she smiled. "I'll ring for some tea," she said. If he was going to stay with her, then she could get him better in no time. There was nothing a little sun and spice couldn't cure, was there?
A/N: I have no idea what India's like, so... XD I know England's house probably wouldn't have been so empty if I had written this historically accurate, but I felt that the description of the house before America left versus after showed how England himself was feeling at those two points. Yup. So I hope you enjoyed. Review~