"Jace, this is a really, really bad idea." Alec noted, as Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Alec stood in front of the apartment building. They had been out to lunch when they got a demon alert from the Institute and of course, Jace had wanted to check it out. So they had hit a nearby synagogue for some more weapons, and here they stood. The apartment was falling apart; Alec had walked by it every day and thought it was a perfect place for any demon lair. It hadn't shown any demon activity thus far, but Alec had always thought this day would come. He still thought it was a bad idea though. They had no idea how many demons were in there.
"Alec, you always say that." Jace replied, and walked towards the building. Isabelle followed shrugging, as did Clary. Alec sighed, and hoped they wouldn't get their asses kicked. They slowly ventured into the building. The antique rug that lined the hallway was covered in holes, the wooden front desk was so overridden with moss then entire desk looked like it was painted green. But no demons were obviously present: no drops of blood or big pools of yellow saliva. But just when he was about to say it might be a false alert, Jace screamed. Alec, Clary, and Isabelle all raced to the scream. At first Alec didn't notice it; he just saw Jace's face contorted in pain, his hand over his mouth. It wasn't until Jace fell to the ground did Alec see it. Some kind of insect was latched onto his shin. It looked like an engorged centipede, at least 10 times as big as one you would see normally. On top of that, it was shiny black and had pinchers dug into Jace's flesh. Alec quickly drew his dagger and sliced the demon insect in half. Black acid came out of both halves of the insect but it soon sizzled out and was dead. But Jace wasn't. He had a gash about as big as a baby's fist. Alec bent over the wound; it was filled with bright green pus. "It looks infected. We have to go!" Alec yelled, to Isabelle and Clary.
Clary and Isabelle picked Jace up who was already looking like he had had too many gin and tonics. They sprinted out of the apartment and into the light. They carried him about a block before they thought they were a safe distance away and propped Jace up against a building. Alec quickly whipped out his stele to draw an iratze on the wound but as soon as he did, the iratze disappeared. "The demon venom is too strong for a rune. We have to get him to Magnus!" Clary cried, on the verge of tears. Alec swore under his breath and said, "Magnus is in Egypt on a special call." Alec got out his cell phone, "I hope he's not sleeping." The line buzzed three times, and then thankfully Magnus's voice came on.
"Alec, is something wrong?" Magnus asked, concerned. He knew that Alec wouldn't call at eleven o'clock at night if it wasn't important. Alec described the situation and Magnus swore and said, "Ok relax first. You have a couple of hours. You're right, it is a demon insect bite which is not good. The good news is that he got bit in the shin so it should take at least 3 hours to get to his heart. And it's curable." Alec let out a sigh of relief. "But Jace isn't going to like how he has to get the poison out." Alec sighed and said, "He won't care, just tell me." Magnus sighed and said, "The only way to get the venom out without using magic is to cry it out. He's going to be feverish, and he'll act like he's had too many drinks. So hydrate him, get him in bed, and make that sucker cry."
About fifteen minutes later, Jace was in his bed and three Shadowhunters were arguing over who got to punch him in the face. "I'm his parabatai, I should get to punch him!" Alec argued. Clary rolled her eyes and said, "He's my boyfriend, don't you think I should get to punch him?" Jace was merely giggling and pointing at some imaginary monkey who was yelling at him. Isabelle threw her hands up, "Okay, this is ridiculous and we're losing time." And before Alec or Clary could do anything, Isabelle walked over and punched Jace hard in the jaw. Jace moved his jaw around and said, "Owww! That hurrrt! What was that for?" His words were slightly slurred by the poison and he looked annoyed, but he didn't cry. "Here let me try." Clary said, and went up to her boyfriend and slapped him hard across the face. Which hurt her hand more than it hurt Jace apparently, because still no tears. "Ahhhh! Why is everyone hitting me? Hehe, everyoneeee's hittin on meeee!" Jace said, confused but weirdly happy. He was definitely losing his shit.
"Arghhh! Jace we just need you to cry! What's so hard about that? Think about puppies dying, or mom and dad being killed or anything!" Isabelle yelled, using wild hand gestures and accidentally slapping Alec in the face. "Ow! Jesus, Izzy." Alec exclaimed, holding his cheek. This made Jace burst into giggling laughter, so much that a single black poisonous tear dripped down his face. Isabelle and Clary looked at each other and then at Alec. Clary made a hand gesture as if to say, please you go first. Alec looked confused for a second until Isabelle promptly took her high heel boot and kicked him in the balls. Alec doubled over moaning. Jace laughed like a banshee, more black tears pouring down his face.
2 more slaps and two cats fall off chairs videos later...
Alec was at Magnus's, Magnus nursing his tender cheek. Alec groaned. He was glad Jace was okay, they had managed to get all the poison out, but he just wished it wasn't at the expense of his balls and his cheek! Magnus was still giggling after he had told him what had happened an hour ago. "Ohhh. Poor baby, you're so nice to endure that for Jace. But I told you I can heal your balls in a jiffy..." Magnus said, winking. Alec shook his head; he'd rather just heal the normal way than die of the embarrassment of Magnus thoroughly examining his balls. "This is why you should just never leave me." Alec said, half joking. Magnus kissed him lightly, "I'll try, love."