Title: Please Wake Up
Pairing: Tamaki/Kyouya
Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club does not belong to me. I make no money off of this fanfiction. I do not accept bribes for updates. ;D
Warnings: Lots of angst. Hoo boy, LOTS of angst. Boy love. Random moments of fluff. OCs. Possible OOC. Probable drama.
Author's Notes: Hello all! -smiles and waves happily- I'm here with a brand new fandom and a brand new story. Don't worry, I'm still working on "Go the Distance" but it's on a mini-hiatus as I write this story, so sorry ZADR fans!
This entire story is dedicated to the Livejournal user lilkittyangel , both for the prompt and the high praise 8D
Chapter name is from the song "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. I don't own that song, either.
It had all happened so quickly that Kyouya was not quite sure what had happened
It had all happened so quickly that Kyouya was not quite sure what had happened at all.
One day, he was lounging on a beach chair on the shores of South America, soaking in the sun and beating away a mosquito that was annoying him particularly. The next, he was sitting in his own father's office, trying not to collapse from a weakness that had slowly taken over his bones, his muscles, flesh, mind, heart. And the diagnosis was even worse, especially coming from the mouth of a man whom he respected in this field (and childishly, so childishly, thought that he could cure anything.)
"Kyouya-kun, there isn't much time left. As of now, there is no cure for this particular strain." Hesitantly, a pale hand so much like his own, but bigger and older, clasped his shoulder in a tight, iron-hard grip. "I'll do everything I can, son, but… There isn't much I can do, at this point." It was Ootori-san Senior's way of saying, "I'm sorry."
The verdict was given: five to seven months, depending on how Kyouya lived his life from that fateful moment, on. The first week was spent (surprisingly,) in denial. The brunette pretended that nothing was wrong, that life was continuing on the path he'd been expecting to follow all his days. He interacted with the Host Club, made plans for the future, plotted, pretended to be part of the mock-family that he had grown to (though he cringed to admit this word) love. All in all, he'd decided, the disease had been a shockingly real nightmare, but nothing less than a nightmare. How could he, the Shadow King, have a life-threatening disease?
Preposterous.
The second week was spent, in his room, with a temperature over one hundred and two with a cough that made it sound as if he had lost the fondness for his lungs and was trying to hack them up. Painfully. So, in this, the third week, he decided to come to terms with his illness. He had not very long to go, after all, so why spend it all in denial? Best to spend it in relative comfort, without hurting other people too much. And it was with this thought that he began to settle hi affairs as quietly as possible.
Trouble began the very first day of his "quiet settling of affairs."
He always knew that convincing the Host Club would be the hardest to do. They would fight and tear at the few heartstrings he'd dedicated to them and practically chain him, if only to keep him around longer. So he knew, walking into the room for the last time, that this would be the hardest day of his suddenly-shortened young life. And he knew, with absolute certainty, that Tamaki was going to beg and scream and yell.
It only hurt his heart more to imagine it.
"What do you mean, you're transferring to America?!" Tamaki roared, coming to life after having fallen from his chair. The rest of the Host Club merely stared in shock, unable to grasp what the Ootori heir was saying. Leaving? The Shadow King, leaving? Impossible. "Where? When? How?! Why?!" Tamaki strode over quickly, grabbing a handful of blue uniform and shaking the black-haired boy as fast as he could. "When did you decide this? Why did you not consult us first?!" Below the rage of being left out was sadness, a loneliness that said, Why aren't you taking me with you?
"It's a business affair, Tamaki-kun." He said as pleasantly as he could, trying to gently retract that vice-like grip from his uniform. "I'm going to a little town in the province of Michigan, something called Grand Harbor(1) or some such. I leave in a week." He let the shock of that statement settle in before he continued briskly, "I'll be travelling on the Ootori private jet, of course, and it was never my decision in the first place, Tamaki." Kyouya glasses-glinted everyone in the room. No trademark smirk accompanied the motion. "My father was very specific in his… instructions. I am to go to America and to stay there to take care of the Ootori business in that area."
"You aren't seriously planning on leaving, are you, Kyouya-sempai?" Haruhi asked in her blunt way, looking up with those wide, innocent brown eyes of hers. The smile disappeared from his eyes, still remaining with his mouth. It looked more like a grimace now, truth be told. But he had to keep up the pretense. If they found out the truth – well, that just couldn't happen.
"I am, and as soon as I can manage. I wouldn't want to let anyone down, of course." Kyouya replied carelessly, unaware of the frustrated, "you've got to be kidding me" looks that he received. For a long moment, no one spoke. Then it was Tamaki who broke the silence, looking like his face had become a tropical storm.
"You don't… want to let anyone down?" He said, choking on his fury. "You're letting us, your friends, down! That's BULL SHIT, Kyouya!" The blonde seemed to explode, shocking every single person standing in that room. Never before had they heard the Host King raise his voice to such epic proportions. Such a sophisticated person as Tamaki just didn't do things like that.
"You can't leave us! You know better than all of us the integral part you play in the Host Club! The second you leave, we'll all fall apart. Your father doesn't need you to go there, I'm sure he doesn't!" The angry expression left, leaving behind desolation, pain, confusion. "You can't do this to us, Kyouya… You can't."
"I'm sorry, Tamaki-kun, but business is business." He knew what he was about to say would hurt them all deeply, perhaps even make them angry, but it was much better than the alternative. "This business venture has ceased to be amusing and profitable. In fact, it is quite starting to hurt the Ootori reputation. I have nothing left here but dead weight." Pushing his glasses up, he let the light glint off, so he would not have to see their shocked faces. "I am…" He smirked slightly. " 'Resigning', as of today."
"O-oh?" Tamaki said, blank puzzlement painted almost comically on his face. "But… but you ca-"
"Do not tell me, Tamaki-san, what I may or may not do." Kyouya said, his voice going several degrees colder. "It was fun for a while, but this partnership is over. I wish you and all of your respective companies well." Giving a nod to each of them in turn, he just paused to give Haruhi a small, "Be successful" before turning on his heel and striding proudly out of the room.
As soon as the door closed behind him, his spine wilted like a flower in too-hot sunshine. Part of him wanted to cry, to weep over the loss of the only family that had ever meant something more than just business. He sneered, loathing the word business with every diseased cell in his body. Business had torn away all that had ever mattered to him, and he detested the very concept, now that he had a look outside his limited scope of the world.
A few steps away from the grand entrance to the Third Music Room, he heard those damnable doors opening again and a bubble of voices chorusing into one loud, "Kyouya!" Said brunette winced. Damn, he thought, turning around and putting on his "I'm an Ootori bastard and you better damn well listen to what I say" face. I thought I had them convinced!
"Kyouya!" It was Hikaru who caught up to him first, breathing hard and looking as if he had been slapped in the face with a fish. "Kyouya-sempai, you're joking, right?"
"Yeah, you wouldn't really leave us, would you, Kyou-chan?" Hunni piped up, looking towards the dark-eyed boy's face with a kicked puppy expression. "Haru-chan thinks you were lying."
"Is this just a very bad joke, Kyouya-sempai?" Kaoru said, seeming almost pleading with that one statement. "You're coming back, right?"
"We need you here." Mori said, voice quiet compared to the rest. His gaze was the hardest to tear away from. Of them all, Kyouya knew he saw through the charade best. Perhaps only-
"Tamaki fainted, sempai." Haruhi said, looking worried despite her normal stoic mask. "He thinks that you're just pulling a prank of some sort, that he'll wake up and this will all be a very bad dream."
"Do I ever joke?" Kyouya demanded, getting frustrated that none of them were listening to reason and annoyed that Tamaki had taken his same conclusion about all this from him. "Do I ever kid? My responsibility is with my family, not a group of adolescent fools who contrive to beat my business, in the long run!" As they stood there in stunned silence, he added, fuming, "Whatever that idiot thinks of me is none of my concern. He was under the impression that friendship between two rival businesses was possible, but he will eventually wake up from that dream. There is no such thing as friendship, only power and striving." Huffing slightly, he added, "And you'd best understand that soon."
Without another word, he strode away from the shocked group, feeling one single, irritating tear trying to leave the corner of his eye. He let it fall.
Kyouya decided to indulge himself and walk around one last time on the Ouran campus, greeting those few who were still there. He smiled and said hello the normal patrons of the Host Club, wished a good day to partners (and rivals) of the Ootori business, and was all-around the son of a major corporation. Even now, as he stepped into the classroom he had been in not three hours ago, he felt a swift rush of depression echo through him, shivering all the way to his fingertips and toes.
This was the last time he would enter this building.
Shaking, he sat down at the closest desk, watching his fingers tremble and feeling those stupid tears welling up again. What will it be like, I wonder, to die, he thought mindlessly, before a strange kind of panic welled up in him. Never before had he accepted the thought so readily, had imagined the possibility that he really was going to leave this world. Tearing open a strange barrier in his mind, he felt a strange wetness coursing down his cheeks.
What will it be like to not have any friends come to the funeral? Continued that chain of understanding. Will they forgive me, when they realize what was happening? And part of him wanted that forgiveness, more than anything, right at this moment. He wanted to stride back in and pour out his heart to those people he had once considered his friends. Friends who certainly did not care what happened to him now. A fresh flood of sea water washed down his too-warm face.
Kyouya Ootori did not want to die.
But he was facing the very probably chance of it, anyways.
Burying his head beneath his arms on the desk, he finally embraced the knowledge that his time on earth was not long, and wept. How long he sat in that classroom, shoulders barely shaking and fingers trembling minutely, he was not sure. All that he could think was, I don't want to die.
And understood the futility of such a statement.
"Kyouya…-kun?"
Oh no, he thought, completely horrified. Keep your head down, maybe he'll think you're asleep and he'll go away.
"Kyouya, wake up." The tone was so sad, like everything he had once believed in was shattered right at his feet. And maybe it was, Kyouya amended thoughtfully. "Please, I have to say something."
Kyouya did not lift his head, for fear of the tear tracks showing too brightly on his cheeks. No, he groaned internally. Anyone but him, I could ignore, could tell them to get the hell away, but it just had to be Tamaki that confronts me this way. Hesitating for a moment, he added, Come to think of it, that's probably why they sent him to find me. They must have seen that my car had not left school grounds yet…
"Kyouya-kun, I know you're awake." Tamaki was trying to be brave and confident, but it just sounded shaky and weak to his ears. Much like himself. "Your breathing is too heavy for sleep…" A pause. "Kyouya?" Another pause, longer. "Fine. I'll just wait here until you decide to get up." And with that, the blonde sat down next to him and began to (very annoyingly) tap his foot against the ground.
They stayed like that for a while, the Ootori ex-heir waiting for his ex-best-friend to get fed up, impatient, and storm out. He almost hoped for this reaction, actually. But no, it seemed Tamaki had gained a strange sense of waiting when he wasn't paying attention and was settling in for the long haul, the foot tapping dwindling away. Eventually, the diminished sounds of students and teachers completely disappeared, leaving them alone in the school. Kyouya waited a little while longer, hoping that, at least, the tears would dry before he had to look up. Maybe the fading sunlight would better help his cause…
Finally, he gave in, and lifted his head, pretending that he had been asleep. A yawn accentuated this act, as well as a very-real wince from the crick in his neck. Definitely not a good position to be in. A startled gasp revealed that Tamaki had perhaps been falling asleep himself. Another deep intake of breath showed that perhaps twilight was exposing his weakness better than what he had hoped.
"Kyouya-kun?" Tamaki whispered, stunned and nothing short of extremely concerned. "Were you crying?" Hesitantly, he reached out a hand; as if afraid he was going to be bitten, he touched his friend's cheek gently. For a moment, everything was still. The brunette was surprised; he had been nothing but all-out awful to the boy in front of him, and yet he still expressed such a deep level of intimacy and worry, as if nothing had happened between them?
Without warning, and certainly without consciously thinking about it, tears began to pour down Kyouya's face again. This kindness, I do not deserve.
A/N: Well, there you have it! Something depressing and angsty to make you cry before work starts ;D Or school. Or whichever. -cackles-