Title: The Diamond Job
Author: Alex Gold (Ryzlin)
Fandom/s: Leverage/X-Men
Rating: Teen, foe swearing. Teenagers swear.
Warnings: Um… thief stuff…. They are con artists…
Characters: Parker, Sage and Emma Frost.
Pairing: None
Summery: It looked like the statue was made of solid diamond. Now that interested Parker a lot more than a pile of computers.
Authors Note: This is for my best friend. Yes, it's about time I got this finished.
A mysterious stranger had been breaking into the mansion and stealing. They had managed to break in for the last three nights, each time stealing expensive technology that was needed by the X-men. It had (surprisingly) taken a lot of Sage's time, but she finally found a visual of the thief. She was slim, with narrow hips. Petite but athletic. Blonde hair peeked out from beneath a black beanie that matched the rest of her black clothing. She moved gracefully and carefully around the mansion, avoiding most of the security cameras. But Sage had found a shot of the thief's face and ran it though every facial recognition database she could. It was surprisingly easy to find out about the thief, she was one of Interpol's most wanted. Her name was Parker, no other name known, and had quite the reputation. Remy had been surprised and slightly in awe of the girl, but hadn't know why she would be stealing from the X-men. Parker had been legendary for only ever working solo until three years ago when she joined a team of four other people and became a vigilante con artist. The last con her team had pulled had been in Seattle, three weeks ago. Remy had heard that Parker had had a fall out with one of her team members but couldn't be sure of the validity of such rumors. It still didn't answer why Parker was stealing from them, but Remy was able to give Sage some information she could use. Although it wasn't abnormal for Parker to steal technology (and really, what else did the X-men have worth stealing), it wasn't her preferred booty. So Sage had come up with a few plans to present at the team meeting.
"Parker is a world class thief, one of, if not the best in the world. There are two things she loves to steal above anything else. Money, preferably in cash, and diamonds."
Scott frowned. "So what does that mean? We pay her off in cash?"
Sage shook her head. "No, I suggest we set up a trap to catch her. Use something she will never be able to resist and turn it against her."
"Like what?"
Sage turned and stared at Emma. No one said anything for a heartbeat before Emma stood up and glared at Sage.
"No way. No fucking way in hell."
"You'd be the biggest and most flawless diamond she'll ever see in her life. She couldn't pass you by if she tried."
xxxxx
Emma didn't like the plan at all. It wasn't that she minded being naked, or even being seen naked by someone she didn't know, though it was drafty. Emma understood that a diamond statue wouldn't wear leather clothing. What she was opposed to, was being the bait. But Sage was right; she was an amazing specimen of diamond.
xxxxx
Parker knew the layout of the mansion relatively well by now. She had spent a night exploring and learning it all before she tried to steal anything. She knew that the mansion didn't have much in the way of money, jewels or valuable paintings (which was a bit weird, what kind of person lived in a mansion but didn't have any valuables). They did however, have a fortune in technology, and it wasn't a small one either. Parker knew enough from Hardison to know what was worth stealing. But she would not think of Hardison now, no definitely not now. Parker took a left and ducked while keeping close to the wall and out of the camera's line of sight. She paused; something was different. That door, there was something wrong with it. Parker stared at it for a moment before she noticed the two extra locks. Nothing that she couldn't get though, but extra locks meant that there was something in there worth stealing. Parker knelt by the door and pulled a set of lock picks from her boot. It took her less than a minute to unlock the door. Carefully she eased into the room, keeping an eye out for cameras, motion sensors and heat sensors. She was mildly disappointed that there were none. There was however a laser grid. That was nice. There wasn't much in the room; a few large crates and what looked like a statue covered in a white drop sheet. The sheet didn't quite touch the floor, and left Parker staring at the statue's feet. It looked like the statue was made of solid diamond. Now that interested Parker a lot more than a pile of computers. She made her way forward, hand standing and back flipping over laser beams until she stood before the statue. It a quick motion, she pulled the drop sheet off the statue. Before her stood a life size statue of a woman, made completely of flawless diamond. Parker couldn't even guess how much the statue was worth. She gaped for a moment, before trying to figure out a way to steal the statue. She could not leave the mansion without it. Parker turned around, searching the room. Hopefully there would be something for her to use.
She felt two hard but warm hands curl around her biceps. Without thinking, Parker kicked back to when she assumed her attacker's shins would be.
"Fuck! What the hell have you got on that's so hard?"
"Diamond."
Parker turned her head. The diamond statue smirked at her.
"I know they say diamonds are a girl's best friend, but I'm really not yours."
The statue lifted Parker off her feet, grip on her biceps still strong. The laser grid flickered and shut off just before the door opened and someone else walked in. She had black hair with a blue sheen held up in a bun. Two tendrils framed the sides of her face. She wore red sunglasses, even though she was indoors and Parker could see the edge of two black lines, most likely tattoos peeking out from under the glasses. Her skin was pale. The woman ignored Parker and just gazed at the statue for a moment. Parker felt distinctly like she was being talked about. The woman turned to her.
"If Emma lets you down, will you promise to not try and escape, Parker?"
"Sure."
The woman shook her head. "Come on; let's get her to one of the rooms she can't get out of before Scott sees you naked."
Parker felt the statue (Emma?) chuckle.
"He wouldn't know what to do with himself."
The woman smiled ever so slightly before heading out the room. She led Emma, and thus Parker down the hallway and stopped before a door that had a retina scanner. The laser scanned her eye and she stood aside as Emma carried Parker inside. She locked the door behind her with another scan and gestured for Emma to let go of Parker.
"I brought your clothes here."
Emma nodded and picked the folded leather off the table. She allowed her skin to turn back into flesh before pulling on her clothes. She was tightening her boots when she noticed Parker staring at her.
"What?"
"You're not diamond anymore."
"How astute of you."
"But, why?"
"How about a question for a question? You ask one, I ask one."
"Sure. So, why aren't you diamond anymore?"
"I can change between flesh and organic diamond at will. It's easier to get into leather in flesh. Now, why are you stealing from us?"
Parker pouted. "I liked you better as a diamond."
Emma was still hot as a not diamond person, long blonde hair, pale skin and artful make up; but she wasn't a diamond. Parker liked diamonds.
"Just what a girl wants to hear." Emma said dryly. "Why were you stealing from us?"
"You have a lot of good technology, and I wanted to steal it so I could show Hardison up."
"You mean Alec Hardison, don't you? If you tell us where the items you stole are, we might be able to help you. My name is Sage."
"You know this Alec Hardison?"
Sage nodded at Emma. "I know of him. If his reputation is to be believed, he is quiet the hacker, but I'm better. Much better. What did he do, and how exactly did you intend to show him up?"
"Um, I didn't really have a plan. He destroyed my new zip line and harness, just because I may have pushed him off the roof to test it. I mean, he destroyed my stuff, that's like me taking a baseball bat to his computers." She paused, and Emma didn't have to use telepathy to see that she was considering the idea. Parker shook her head and continued.
"What if we had to pull a con? I mean, I won't need it to pull a con now because I'm in a different state, but if I wasn't and we need to pull a con, he could have ruined the whole thing. I just wanted to show up at Nate's house with cooler stuff than Hardison and make him jealous by not letting him use it."
Sage and Emma looked at each other, smirking.
Emma grinned at Parker. "I think we can do a bit better than that."
xxxxx
Parker sat in the back seat with Emma as Sage drove them to the hideout Parker had been storing the stolen technology in.
"Do you think I could have a hair clipping? Maybe I could sell you to a collector. You could sneak out at night. How about that?"
Emma shook her head slowly.
"I think not."
Parker pouted again and glared out the car window.
Eventually, Emma sighed. "What would be the point of selling me anyway?"
"To get money."
"And?"
"And what?"
"What would you do once you had the money?"
"I would have the money."
"Ah, right."
"I could always replace the zip line and harness." Parker's face brightened. "That way I could steal more money."
She sat in her seat happily. Emma didn't quite have the heart to tell the strange woman that she still wasn't going to be sold to a private collector. Parker was growing on her.
xxxxx
They had driven quite a while, ending up in a less than well off neighborhood. Sage was sure that parker could have afforded to rent a much nicer place for the month or so she'd be in the city. Assuming of course that this wasn't a permanent safe house. Even if it wasn't, it probably wasn't the only safe house Parker had set up in the city currently. Sage might investigate that later; it would be interesting to see the results. She supposed that using such a run down looking house would help to avoid suspicion, but it also cost less, which Parker was probably more interested in. Emma didn't seem to really care of the reason and looked suitably put upon to even grace the house (Sage was sure Emma would say something about it being a hole in a wall, not a house) with her presence.
Everything Parker had stolen was neatly packed into the corner of the lounge. Sage started sorting through everything, to see if it was all there and to see if there was any damage. She didn't expect any, Parker was a world class thief, but you couldn't be too careful. Emma was handed armfuls of technology which she grudgingly took to the car. It didn't take long and Emma found Parker sitting on the floor with crossed legs and Sage perched on the dusty couch, poised as always. Emma leaned against the wall by the doorway. It seemed the least offensive place. It was silent for only a moment.
"You said you'd help me if I gave your stuff back."
"Of course. How would you like to crash his computers?"
"He'd hate that."
Emma smirked at the thief. "I do believe that is the idea, dear?"
"Oh, yeah. That seems a bit boring though."
Sage stared at her for a minute before smirking ever so slightly. "How about a virus that causes Hardison's screen to show nothing but a message of your choice every five minutes for five minutes until he apologises. I can give you an over ride code that will delete the virus as soon as you input it."
Parker grinned. "I like it."
xxxxx
Hardison glanced at one of his many monitors. The downloading bar was at 98%. He rubbed his hands together. He had been looking forward to this particular episode of 'Doctor Who'. Hardison was glad Parker wasn't here at the moment; she'd probably tell him illegal downloading was wrong again. Come on! They were thieves. Just was the downloading bar reached 100% all his monitors turned blue. Haridson gaped. He could not be a victim of the blue screen of death. Not possible! Big black letters flashed across the multiple screens.
'Hardison is a meanie!'
The screen changed to a video of a monitor on a roof top in what looked like one of Parker's harness'. The video monitor turned on and showed a picture of Hardison's face.
"Not cool."
The monitor fell off the edge of the building. The zip line snapped. The monitor kept falling. Eventually it hit the ground and smashed into a lot of little pieces.
"PARKER! What did you do to my computer! That is so not cool."