Need
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"I want you..."
That sentence rang through my skull one more time before I fell asleep. It was one of those statements you just don't forget. One that rings through the neurons in your cranium for hours on end, making you think. Making you wonder.
"I want you..."
But some people don't know what they want.
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"Hey."
Hey, yourself.
...
"Not too talkative, are you?"
What's to talk about? You called me here for a reason, not idle chit-chat. Now, spill it. I have things to do.
Not to mention being far from you.
"Feisty today, aren't we?"
Go to hell.
-Sigh- "Listen, I just wanted to see how you're doing. We hardly ever talk anymore."
That's because I don't want to talk with you.
...
"Why?"
...
You know why.
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Music is one of those things that truly affect a person. Makes you feel good. Makes you feel happy. It's something that can change your mood if done properly. Music is something that can't be tamed. Something that speaks to you.
There is no 'real' music. All music is 'real' if it reaches out to someone.
"Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters..."
"You still haven't told me why..." came the voice invading the sound provided to me by my headphones.
Nor do I want to. You know why.
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My eyes widened as I saw them on the front porch.
Mouths intertwined, their hands wandering, it was indeed a sight to behold.
It was at that moment, I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in the left region of my chest.
Is this heartbreak I'm feeling...?
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"You weren't always like this, you know?"
What?
"You weren't always so cold to me. I mean, you weren't too fond of me when we met, but things changed between us and now you're just changing again. And I don't think it's for the better."
Shit happens.
"It doesn't have to happen though."
Can I help that it did though? Is it my fault? Some people change. Others don't.
Some people develop differently than others. Those that are timid will always be timid, and those who have changed will always change, for it's in their nature.
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I gasped, almost disgustedly when I saw where their hands were groping each other. It's making me sick.
Was it not enough to mention how I felt? My feelings? Were they not good enough?
Apparently not. But that should come as no surprise, a lot of my statements have been false or fabricated to hide myself from others.
Why?
I'm not sure, really. Some could say that I'm just evil and need to have my true self opened up or something. You know, that old cliche. But I don't believe so.
I'm just not a people person.
Now, I felt like retching as I noticed their hands wandering farther downward.
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"You know, I think this is slightly unfair."
How so?
"You won't even give me a chance to explain myself."
I don't need to. And I don't want you to.
"So, I dub thee unforgiven..."
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Okay, I can't stand it anymore. I'm leaving.
Their wandering hands will soon be turning into something more from the looks of it.
I turned and proceeded away from the house. I didn't even bother to look back. Not even when I heard my name being called.
Not even when the tears began to flow.
"So, this is what heartbreak feels like..."
...
It sucks.
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Let me pose you a question, then.
"Alright."
Why? Is there some reason why? Or do you just not care about me or my feelings?
"I... I don't know."
Heh. Figures.
I'm leaving. You're just wasting my time.
"Wait!"
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"I want you..."
No.
You want something new. Something different. You don't care of what my feelings could've been, nor do you care for me in actuality. You just want a new thrill. Something new that you can sink your teeth into. I know that now. Too bad it's something you can't have now.
"I want you..."
Go to hell.
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"Ruki, wait! Will you just listen to me?"
I stopped.
No. You listen to me, Akiyama. I'll be honest when I say that when I first met you, I didn't like you. Can you blame me? We were opponents after all. When we met in the Digital World again, I wasn't too thrilled either, but as much as I hate to say it, you made an impression on me, albeit you being a little cocky.
"But-"
D-Reaper changed us all, both physically and mentally. And for me, it was a little emotionally, too. While I found your flirting a little obnoxious, I'll admit it was cute. But 'cute' can only go so far. I thought we might have had something between us. Even more so when I told you how I might feel.
You acted as if it didn't happen.
But apparently not. I no longer care on what you have to say. You'll get nothing from me.
"I..."
...
...
...
"I want you..."
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Some people don't know what they want.
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Fin