Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: This series is something that came out of several one-shot ideas I had combined with listening to certain songs that seemed to relate. It will be a set of six chapters with each focusing on a different character during a specific point in Clarke's absence as they deal with both that and whatever personal issues they may have after Mount Weather. This first chapter connects briefly to my one-shot "Exit the Hero", which is Clarke's point of view and thoughts on her departure at the end of season two, so I would recommend reading that just as a reference. But this should still make sense even if you haven't read that story. Future chapters will also mention or elaborate on events from my story "The Long Road Home", which is my take on what happens to Clarke during her time away from Camp Jaha, so I would also recommend reading that before the second chapter of this story. Everything else should be fairly self-explanatory. Enjoy!
Monty
No matter how Monty tries, he can't get warm. It doesn't matter that they've been walking for hours or that the sun is now shining brightly down upon them or that he has on a thick sweater. Actually, the sweater might be half the problem. He took it from Mount Weather before they left. Part of him wonders if maybe he should take it off, if that would somehow help. But then another shiver rocks his body, and he tugs the fabric tighter around himself.
He knows what happened in Mount Weather was necessary. He knows the line of people moving around him now wouldn't be alive if he hadn't set up the system for Clarke to pull the lever. But even that knowledge doesn't help. It's not the death toll that haunts him though. As twisted as it sounds, he thinks he just might be able to live with knowing the people of the mountain are gone because of him. From the minute he watched them gun down Mrs. Ryan, he knew it was a decision he could live with. But what haunts him is the betrayed look in Jasper's eyes as he knelt on the floor holding Maya's broken body. That look turned Monty's blood into ice, and so far he has been completely powerless to make any warmth return.
He's pulled out of his thoughts by Clarke finally coming up beside him. She's been steadily making her way through the column, stopping at intervals to talk to certain people. It hadn't taken Monty long to notice she was speaking to each surviving member of the original hundred that came down to Earth. At first, he had just assumed she was checking on her people. It seems like something Clarke would do. Things had seemed to get a little emotional when she got to Octavia, but he had just chalked that up to them mending fences. Then Clarke had hugged Raven and Monty had started to wonder. When she had started talking to Kane, he had known for sure. Clarke isn't just checking in. She's saying good-bye.
She looks tired as she falls into step beside Monty. More tired than he's ever seen her. That weariness is enough to distract Monty temporarily from his own burden. She looks like she's fishing for words. Like she's expecting him to argue and she's trying to figure out how to put a stop to it before it starts because she's far too tired to deal with it. Monty sighs and decides to save her the trouble. She came back for them, after all. Even when they all turned on her and called her the enemy, she still came back for them. This is the very least he can do.
"You leaving?" he asks in a tone of quiet acceptance. Clarke's eyes widen briefly as she glances over at him, but then she nods.
"How'd you know?" she asks. He can hear the exhaustion in her voice. But she also sounds deeply relieved that he isn't pushing.
"You look like you need a vacation," Monty says as lightly as he can manage. The corner of Clarke's mouth twitches upward in a ghost of a smile.
"I think we all do," she says.
Monty nods in agreement as he looks down the road at the gates of Camp Jaha. The front of their column has almost reached it. People are already beginning to gather inside the yard as the gates begin to slide open. Bellamy is near the front of the line, the strong leader taking his people home.
"Did you tell him?" Monty asks.
"Not yet," Clarke says, that weary note entering her voice again. "I will."
Monty doesn't press the issue. Bellamy will argue with her. They both know he will. It's going to take every ounce of strength Clarke has left to survive that conversation. But she and Bellamy have been through too much together for her to leave without an explanation.
"He'll understand," Monty assures her. "Maybe not at first, but he will."
"I hope so," Clarke says quietly.
They're almost at the gate now. Clarke slows down to a stop, and Monty does the same. The rest of the line continues moving past them.
"I'm not going in," Clarke says quietly in answer to Monty's questioning look. She's looking at the gate where Bellamy stands watching their people enter. She seems to almost be bracing herself. Any moment now Bellamy will turn and see her. Clarke pulls her eyes away and looks back at Monty. "I'm going to leave now before anyone else notices."
"I could go with you," Monty blurts out. He doesn't really know where the words come from, only that he has to get them out before it's too late. "I might not be much help. I'm not very good at this whole outdoor survival thing. But at least you wouldn't be alone."
Clarke suddenly looks as if she might cry, although there's a weak smile on her face now.
"I know you'd come with me in a heartbeat," she says. She reaches out and lays a hand on his shoulder. "And I love you for that. But they'll need you here. The kids who were in Mount Weather look at you as a leader now. And besides, you need some time to heal. They can help you do that."
"But not you," Monty says. It's a statement rather than a question. He watched Clarke throw that lever. He saw the agony in her eyes as she wrestled with the decision. He knows better than anyone, except maybe Bellamy, exactly what that decision cost her. He knows why she has to leave. And he accepts it. He doesn't like it, but he accepts it.
"Thank you," Clarke says suddenly. Her voice cracks a little over the two words.
"For what?" Monty asks in confusion.
"For not asking why," Clarke says hoarsely. "For not trying to make me stay."
"That's what friends are for," Monty says with a shrug. Now there's definitely moisture in Clarke's eyes. But if she cracks now, she might not be able to put herself back together. So for her sake, he hurries on. "Just promise me you'll be careful out there."
Clarke nods, her expression making it clear that she hears what he's not saying. Promise me you'll come back in one piece.
"Take care of yourself," Clarke says. She leans forward and hugs him tightly. Monty suddenly has the strangest feeling she's hugging him so he won't see her face. She has to clear her throat before continuing. "And take care of the others. Especially Jasper. He needs you, even if he doesn't know it."
"I will," Monty promises as he hugs back. Clarke's arms tighten briefly as if trying to tell him all of the things she doesn't know how to say. Then she lets go and Monty lets her.
Bellamy is walking towards them then, so there isn't time for anything else. Monty gives Clarke one last smile before he pulls his sweater around his cold frame and starts walking toward the gate. He makes it all the way across the yard and to the entrance of the crashed space station without turning back. When he finally does risk a glance over his shoulder, Clarke is already walking down the road away from the camp. Monty sends a quick prayer on her behalf to whatever deity is listening before forcing himself to turn away.
Later that night as he sits quietly beside a campfire with Harper, Miller, and Monroe, Monty wonders if maybe he should have given Clarke his sweater. Winter is coming, and she'll need a way to stay warm. He tells himself that this is Clarke and she'll figure something out just like always, but part of him still wishes he had thought to give her the sweater, at least for his own peace of mind if nothing else. Besides, he has a feeling he won't be needing the sweater much longer. He's just realized that he can feel his left hand warming as it sits quietly entwined with Harper's. Maybe in time the rest of him will be warm again too.
So how was it? Please leave a quick review letting me know what you thought. It will make my day and will also encourage me to update faster. The second chapter will be up in two or three days, and it will look at Bellamy the evening right after Clarke leaves. Until then, feel free to check out some of my other stories. I've written eight other stories for this show, four of which are set after the season two finale. I would specifically recommend reading "The Long Road Home" because events from that story will be referenced in this story from the next chapter onward. And as always, thanks for reading!