"Linus Meets The Great Jericho"
Rated T
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to World Wrestling Entertainment or anything related to Peanuts. The World Wrestling Federation and it's wrestlers are owned by its chairman, Vince McMahon and Peanuts and its characters are owned by its creator, Charles Scultz. Anyway, this idea just came to me after watching "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", so here you are! Expect an unexpected ending as well. You just have to look down below to see who it is. Enjoy!
P.S.: Lets say "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" took place in 2016. That's all I got.
Halloween. The only day of the year where black cats roam free around town bringing bad luck to unsuspecting people, kids going around house to house dressed up in costumes, and awaiting anticipation of a false legend made inside one 8-year old kid's little mind.
Linus Van Pelt was his name. And every Halloween, he would await in a large pumpkin patch and anticipate the arrival of the Great Pumpkin. It was a magical pumpkin that Linus assumed would come every Halloween and grant every little kid who believed in this legend gifts. People, including his friends like Charlie Brown and Shroeder, would have called him crazy for having to make up an unbelievable story such as the Great Pumpkin, but Linus planned on proving all of them wrong this Halloween. So as he sat on his patch, the rest of the kids (including her sister Lucy and Charlie Brown's sister, Sally) dressed up as ghosts, came up to him on this cloudy Halloween night.
"Hey, have you come to sing pumpkin carols?" Linus asked them.
"You blockhead," Lucy replied. "You're gonna miss out on all the fun just like last year's!"
"Don't talk like that," Linus gasped. "The Great Pumpkin knows which kids have been good, and which kids have been bad. You'll be sorry."
"Oh, good grief..." Lucy said, rolling her eyes in displeasure.
"He'll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity." Linus winked at them.
Knowing the ghost costume was too sweaty for her, Sally took it off and looked over at Linus with a smile.
"Do you really think he will come?" She asked him.
"Tonight, the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch. He flies through the air and brings toys to all the children of the world." Linus replied.
"That's a good story." Sally rolled her eyes as well.
"You don't believe the story of the Great Pumpkin?" Linus gasped yet again. "I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting."
"Welcome to the 21st century!" Sally groaned in response.
"All right," Lucy said, getting impatient. "Once and for all, are you coming or are you staying? We can't waste all night!"
Not taking anymore of Linus's fake bull-crap, Lucy and the gang left without him, much to their pleasure.
"Ah, who needs them? They don't know what they're missing out on." Linus smirked.
Suddenly, he went back to praying around in his pumpkin patch, hoping for the so-called arrival of the Great Pumpkin.
"Don't mind them, they're just jealous that they think you don't exist." Linus said, talking to himself as if he was praying for his little fairy tale. "Oh, Great Pumpkin, I know you exist. So, if you just let me hear your voice, I'll prove all of them to you that you exist."
"Hey, kid-" A voice said, cutting Linus off.
From there, Linus's jaw immediately dropped as he gasped. Could this fable Linus has been talking about finally become real? This couldn't possibly be true. There was an actual voice talking to him up close! But Linus needed to make sure the Great Pumpkin was real, so the kid spoke back.
"You heard me!" Linus exclaimed. "I knew you weren't fake!"
"Open up your eyes, ingrate." The voice said, getting a little harsher.
"Yikes, I didn't know you'd be that harsh, but okay, then." Linus said, feeling a bit bothered by the Great Pumpkin's tone of voice.
As he opened his eyes, he saw a man dressed up in a leather vest, black jeans, black boots, black scarf, and decked out in a clean-cut Jon Bon Jovi haircut. A brighter smile was brought upon Linus in return.
"Ah, are you the Great Pumpkin?" Linus asked him.
"No, I'm the man who slept with your mom." The man replied out of disgust. "I'm Chris Jericho, what the hell do you think I am?"
"One of Charlie Brown's friends?" Linus exclaimed, falsely accusing Jericho much to his annoyance.
"And you must be Linus Van Pelt, Lucy's brother." Jericho pointed out.
"Yes, I am." Linus nodded. "How did you remember my name, anyway?"
"Does it matter?" Jericho shrugged. "Anyway, you sure are a special boy to believe in something such as the Great Pumpkin. Linus, do you know what happens to special boys who believe?"
"What is it? Do I get any gifts for being good and polite?" Linus gasped.
"Something like that," Jericho nodded. "Linus Van Pelt..."
"Yes?" Linus gasped again in anticipation.
With a dirty smirk, he brought out a gray clipboard and pointed at Linus with these five single words:
"YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!"
Linus was shocked as ever as Jericho started writing the kid's name on his List of Jericho clipboard. Strangely, it didn't effect Linus one bit, knowing he would have been heartbroken and upset the first thing Jericho said those words.
"You mean, I made the good list?" Linus gasped.
"Yeah, you just made the list of stupid idiots, ya dig?!" Jericho shouted in return. "There is no Great Pumpkin, and there will never will be! Just like the Easter Bunny, just like Santa Claus, just like the Tooth Fairy and just like Donald Trump!"
"Um, I think Donald Trump exists." Linus said, cutting in Jericho's statement.
"You don't judge me, idiot!" Jericho exclaimed. "Anyway, my job's done. See ya never, you assclown!"
After he put his pen away, Jericho finally left. But before he could though, Jericho stopped to give Linus one nasty look.
"And give me that blanket of yours." Jericho said, taking the blanket out of Linus's hands.
"Hey, that's mine!" Linus shouted.
"You're 8 years old, okay?" Jericho replied. "Start acting like a grownup and not like a stupid idiot! I swear, second graders are so retarded nowadays."
With the blanket in Jericho's hands, the Ayatollah of Rock-N-Rolla started sucking his thumb just like Linus and walked away. This now left Linus all alone in the pumpkin patch with no blanket to keep him warm.
"Well, this stinks." Linus groaned. "Ah, who am I kidding? I still have a batch of blankets of home. I'm certain it doesn't bother me. Now where was I?"
Linus suddenly remembered he was praying in the pumpkin patch, waiting for the real arrival of the Great Pumpkin to appear through the patch. So he closed his eyes and talked to his little fable once again.
"Sorry about that again, he doesn't know any better," Linus smiled. "But I know you exist. They're just too blind to see it. So, if you can give me any kind of sign that you exist for real, I would appreciat-"
Unfortunately, Linus would never finish that statement.
All of a sudden, a purple glove popped out of the patch and grabbed Linus right by the neck. The figure's upper body then popped out from the pumpkin patch, looking all evil and dark due to his dark hair, dark outfit, and dark sneer. Linus looked up and gasped at the figure he was seeing:
The Undertaker.
"The Great Pumpkin doesn't exist..." Undertaker said to his face.
"He... he d-d-doesn't?" Linus shivered.
"No, but I do!" Undertaker shouted. "Welcome to your grave!"
Gulping at that statement, Linus looked to the reader and lifted up a sign that said "Help Me" before fading to black. And because of that moment, Linus never looked for the Great Pumpkin ever again. And it was a wise idea, since the Undertaker now took control of the pumpkin patch Linus used to sit at until the worst happened. It was safe to say that the world has never been safer than ever before.
Don't worry fans, if it means that much to you, Linus wasn't really sent into hell. Nah, he just got sent to the hospital with bumps and bruises. Shows him right not to be crazy. This is what exactly happens to you when you believe in a fake holiday fable for too long. And yes, Santa Claus does exist.
Anyway, I haven't been much up to writing since I've been making a lot of WWE 2K17 gameplay videos on YouTube. I'm telling ya, my PS4 rocks. It really does. Anyway, what did you think of this little ditty? Feedbacks are welcomed and appreciated! Until next time, Warrior over and out, and Happy Thanksgiving (even though this is only Tuesday)!