A/N: Well hey there. How are you doing, you lovely person reading this story. I'm good, I just kinda disappeared off the face of the planet for a few months, y'know? Well anyway, I'm back.
This story was written during the summer, and I just now got around to posting it. Yeah. It's really a crack fic with some references from Jenna Marbles and the tv show Misfits, both things I have an unhealthy obsession over, though not as great as my one for glee. (Speaking of Glee... nah, won't get into it now. Later.)
SO anyways, I apologize in advance for all the curses. Yes. I cursed. OMG!
Enough of my rambling. Onto the story! (It's all dialogue, btw. And also. The title. No idea where it came from. It's not related to the story at all.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Jenna Marbles, or the Misfits tv show.
"Blaine."
"Mmm."
"Blaine, wake up."
"Mmm."
"Blaine. Blaine. Blaaaaiine."
"Fi' more minutes…"
"No, Blaine, wake up now."
"Whadda you wan'?"
"For you to wake up."
"But it's… midnight. What could you possibly want from me at midnight? I'm going back to sleep…"
"No! Bad Blaine."
"Okay! I'm up!"
"Good job."
"Now, what do you want?"
*whispers* "I have to go to the bathroom."
"…"
"…"
"You woke me up for that?!"
"Well, I'm too scared to go alone."
"Let me guess: you want me to get up and walk you to the bathroom."
"And then stay there."
"What? Stay with you outside the bathroom?"
"No, inside, silly!"
"But… why?"
"So you can make sure Frankenstein's wife doesn't come out of the toilet and eat me."
"…"
"I'm not high, I swear."
"Yeah… sure."
"Come on, Blaine. I have to pee."
"Be a big boy and go use the toilet yourself."
"But Frankenstein –"
"Yeah, yeah. I'll come."
"Yay!"
*mumbling to self* "Not high my ass. He's high as a fucking kite."
"Blaine! No swearing."
"Oh, for the love of – Kurt! Put him down!"
"But Mittens likes the toilet. Don't you mittens? I know you want to go swimming, right? Let's go!"
"No!"
"Party pooper."
"Cats don't like water, remember?"
"Hmm… WHEEE!"
"Kurt! Where are you going?!"
"To the kitchen! And beyond!"
*sigh*
"…"
"…"
"Blaine, I need help!"
"I'm going back to bed."
"But I can't get the box – oh. Never mind!"
"…"
"I brought you a fudgie wudgie bar."
"The hell?"
"It's a fudgie wudgie bar! You lick it."
"Heh. Hehehe."
"It's not funny."
"Oh yes it is."
"Why is it so hot in here?"
"Oh, that must be me. My bad."
"…"
"…"
"Prick."
"…"
"No but seriously it's fucking hot."
"It's summer."
"What kind of bullshit excuse is that?"
"…"
"…"
"Wanker."
*gasp!* "That's British!"
"No shit Sherlock."
"And totally uncalled for."
"Just trying it out."
"Oh. Panty sniffer."
"Melon fucker."
"Ass licking ball sack motherfucking cock bitch."
"…"
"…"
"Okay you win."
"Yesh."
"…"
"I'm bored."
"And I'm going back to bed."
"No!"
"Now where are you going?"
"…"
"Kurt?"
"…"
"Did you seriously leave the apartment?"
"…"
"I'm going to fucking kill you."
*rings doorbell* "Excuse me Miss – oh, sorry Mister, do you have time to learn about Jesus Christ?"
"For fuck's sake. And what's with that accent?"
"The lord does not take kindly to people with a bad mouth. May I suggest some soap…?"
"Get back in bed, Kurt."
"But…"
"Bed."
*huffs* "Fine. But you're a doody head."
"Ah. Thank you."
"Love you."
"Love you, too."
"Night spiderman."
"Night spiderman."
A/N: y'know, it seemed longer... Ah well.