Title: Tripping the Rainbow Author: moonfirefic Beta: milady_dragon (Major props to you for returning this so fast!) Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen, Andy, Tosh, Donna, The Doctor (10th), Alice (mentioned), Others Rating: PG -13 Summary: King Bran, Lord of the Leprechauns has a bumper crop of four-leaf clovers to recover before midnight on St. Patrick's Day. Team Icicle, the Holiday Assurance Elves last seen in The Star of Seren Glen are called in to help. A/N: Just a little something fun for St. Patrick's Day. A/N #2: You might want to read The Star of Seren Glen First, but I think you will be alright to read this on it's own.
Chapter One
Elfsburg, North Pole
Holiday Assurance Headquarters
March 17th - 09:00
"So anyone know why we were called in?" Owen "Peanut Brittle" Harper asked with a yawn as he filled his cup of coffee. Judging by the quality of the coffee on hand, their team leader Ianto "Hot Toddy" Jones had already been in.
"No idea," replied Toshiko "Snowdrop" Sato, sipping on her jasmine tea. "It's been blessedly quiet since the Valentine's incident. But judging by the date and the greenery outside," she added gesturing out the conference room window to where a shamrock-bedecked Elfsburg could be seen, "It would appear that Old King Bran has called in a favor."
"You mean the Leprechaun King who lives under the ruins of Dunluce Castle?" Andy "Nog" Davidson asked, scratching his head. "I heard that he has piles of gold up to the ceiling of his cave and an army of Pookas to do his bidding, and he can always call on the Bureau of Leprechauns for help. Why would he need us?"
"Why indeed?" asked Doc "Fruitcake" Smith, as he sauntered into the room and poured himself a cup of tea. "I'm supposed to be seconded to Mother Nature for the Spring Equinox and they even pulled me in." Tosh and Owen exchanged a look. If Doc had been called away from helping out Mother Nature herself, something big was in the works.
"Can't be that bad," contemplated Owen as he filled his cup again. "I mean after Eros tripped over his toga, shot himself and half the world with the wrong arrow, and fell in love with a pineapple, this job should be a piece of cake."
Andy snickered. They had arrived on the scene to find the God of Love composing an ode to the fruit, while his wife Psyche stood beside him shaking her head.
"Nothing that amusing I'm afraid," interrupted Ianto as he joined them. "Donna will be here in a few with the dossier, and trust me team, this time we have our work cut out for us."
"Is it really King Bran?" Andy asked eyes bright with excitement. As the youngest member of the team, he was still caught up in the adventure of working alongside his boyhood heroes and meeting the mythical leaders that he had only heard about.
"I'll leave that for Gingersnap to explain," Ianto replied as Donna Noble, Head Coordinator for Holiday Assurance, entered the room carrying a stack of folders in her arms.
"Good morning," she briskly greeted before joining the others around the table. "I trust you have all recovered from your last mission and are ready to go?" The others nodded, anxious to see what the mission entailed. "Right then, first things first." Pulling a yellow and pink folder off the top of the pile, she handed it to Toshiko.
"Snowdrop will not be accompanying the rest of you on this mission," she explained as she handed the rest of the team green folders. "She is heading to Germany to help the Easter Bunny."
Owen scowled. Peter Cottontail aka the Easter Bunny had been trying to get a date with Tosh for years, and just when Owen had finally worked up enough nerve to ask her out himself, the long-eared twat was pulling a fast one to get her all to himself.
"It says here that we are going to be helping him establish a Prep and Landing style approach to egg distribution," Tosh read aloud before glancing up at Donna in surprise as she realized the full implications of that statement. "We're going to be training the newly formed Cottontail Corps and getting them ready in less than two months?" she asked incredulously.
"Of course you are," Donna replied with a tight smile. "And before the lot of you protest that it isn't enough time, as soon as you finish with this matter of King Bran's I expect all of you to gear up and get cracking on helping her out with the new troops."
Owen groaned in protest, and Ianto quickly raised an eyebrow. "This request comes from Santa himself," he clarified, making sure Owen understood that there would be no arguing with the assignment.
"I expect each and every one of you to represent elf-kind and Santa in a professional matter. Are we clear?" Donna asked, looking pointedly at Owen.
"Yes Miss Gingersnap Ma'am!" Andy saluted, causing Owen to roll his eyes and down the last of his coffee.
"Yes well," replied Donna, rather flustered at Andy's salute. Doc and Ianto exchanged a grin as the unflappable Miss Noble flushed to the roots of her hair. "If there is nothing further about the Easter mission, I would like all of you to open the Dossier for Operation Clover," she said, and the briefing began.
Holiday Assurance Dispatch Terminal
Mid-Afternoon
"So it's just supposed to show up here then?" Doc asked, looking out the window to where clouds were obscuring the early spring sun.
"According to the dossier, any minute now," Ianto replied, glancing at his watch. "I just hope Owen and Andy make it in time."
As if on cue, the other two elves appeared in a burst of golden sparkles inside of a nearby chimney-port. Owen emerged first, glancing around a moment before spotting Doc and Ianto at the far end of the terminal.
"Sorry we're late," Owen apologized as he ran up to meet them. "But young Andy here decided that the standard black fatigues and green elf caps weren't festive enough."
He stepped aside as Andy proudly strode forward, sporting an impressive set of ginger whiskers.
"Top o' the afternoon to ya!" Andy greeted the others, causing Ianto to cringe at his bad fake accent.
"Whiskers are one thing Nog," Ianto chastised. "But for goodness sake man, leave the bad accent at home."
Andy's face fell, but his smile soon returned when he looked over Ianto's shoulder out the window behind him. "I think our ride is here," he observed, causing the others to follow his gaze.
As they watched, the clouds over Elfsburg parted, and the sun shone down through the light mist of rain exposing a massive rainbow sloping down out of the sky to end at the entrance to docking bay two.
"Well gents," Ianto said with a smile. "Looks like King Bran kept up his end of the bargain, what do you say we hold up ours?" The rest of the team returned his grin and they made their way to the docking bay, stepping gingerly onto the rainbow and starting their trek towards Ireland and the secret cave of the Leprechauns.
"I'm glad to have your help," King Bran addressed Team Icicle as they arrived. Once they had all stepped off the rainbow, he snapped his fingers and the rainbow bent back up into the sky leaving the entrance to the cave hidden amongst the rocks below the castle ruins.
"The pleasure is all ours," Ianto replied taking in the regal looking leprechaun before him. Leprechauns were shorter then elves by nature, but King Bran himself was tall for his kind, and built strong and sturdy as a plow hand. If it weren't for the emerald velvet jacket and breeches, the brocade waistcoat, and the crown atop his head, Ianto was sure that he would have mistaken him as just another leprechaun.
Turning to the cave entrance, Bran led the elves inside, stopping to make sure that the rock face slid closed behind them. "We don't normally need extra help with the gatherin' of the green," he explained as they walked past the piles of gold lining the corridor to the main cavern. "But Mother Nature decided that with the world being a bit down-hearted of late, the humans needed a little extra hope." They exited the corridor into a large cavern filled with a variety of fey folk. At length Bran came to a stop in front of a large monitor. A map of the world was displayed and green dots could be seen lighting up the landscape.
"Mother Nature overdid it a bit didn't she?" Doc observed as another series of green dots flashed into existence.
"Aye she did," confirmed Bran. "And as any not retrieved before midnight tonight come true, you can see the chaos we're tryin' to prevent."
Ianto nodded. "When do we start?" he asked.
King Bran smiled. "Go join the others. Seamus will kit you out after I make a little speech." He gestured to where a rather stout leprechaun with a fire engine red beard was directing the stacking of several boxes of gold coins next to a pile of shillelaghs on the other side of the cavern, before turning back to consult with one of the other leprechauns nearby. Ianto took that as their cue to leave.
"We're seriously going to run around the world and pick up clovers?" Owen hissed as they joined the others not liking this mission at all.
"That looks to be the size of it," Ianto replied as they made their way to where the other retrieval teams were waiting. As Owen continued to grumble under his breath, Ianto noticed that several of the leprechauns were rolling barrels down the cavern floor to rest alongside a great throne. "From the looks of things it would appear that we are having a bit of a party once all is said and done," he pointed out hoping that the promise of a good pint of leprechaun ale might appease him.
"As long as I don't have to dance any jigs," retorted Owen. Ianto chuckled and turned his attention back to the dais at the front of the cavern where King Bran called for order and began to speak.
"Thank all of you for coming," he began. "As most of you know, this year produced a bumper crop of four-leaf clovers. With your help we can collect all of them before the coming of the morn and ensure that only the most pure of wishes comes true." A short leprechaun, young enough to not have grown any whiskers, handed him a golden goblet and the king thanked him before continuing his speech. "Each of you will be broken into teams of two and given a list of names and locations for retrieval," he explained. "Since a little competition might speed your work, I offer The Golden Goblet of Tilldare," he held the goblet aloft, allowing the jewels on its sides to twinkle in a shaft of light. "The goblet never runs dry, and will be the prize for the team that returns the most clovers before the clock strikes twelve. Good hunting and may the luck of the Irish be with you!" A cheer rang out amongst the assembly and they quickly broke off into teams of two, each of which was given a list of names and a shillelagh.
"What's the stick for?" Owen asked as Ianto and Doc were each handed the shillelaghs for their team.
"Tap once to go to the next name on the list," explained Seamus as his helper handed over a list of names to Owen and Andy. "Once you retrieve the clover, tap twice and you return here to deposit it in the pot for safekeeping."
"Seems simple enough," Andy shrugged.
Seamus grinned. "Aye it 'tis laddie, but there's one more thing," he reached into the box of gold coins and counted out several before slipping them into a drawstring pouch and handing it to him. "Once you get the clover, you replace it with a coin." Seamus saw Andy's confused expression and took pity on him. "All things in balance lad," he explained, patting him on the shoulder. "If a wish is not to be granted, we must pay in kind for the magic to cancel out." Andy smiled back at him in understanding and Seamus gave him a crooked smile in return before wishing them good luck and outfitting the next team in line.
"What do you say to a side wager Nog?" Owen asked once they had reached an open spot away from the chaos of outfitting the teams. "Say Toddy and I take on you and Doc and the last one to return with all of his clovers has to do the other's washing for a month.
"But you always have the dirtiest, stinkiest clothes in Elfsburg," Andy replied wrinkling his nose.
"Right you are," Owen grinned. "But you aren't planning on losing are you?" he asked with a sly grin.
"Not on my watch he isn't," Doc replied for him. Taking the list from his hand, Doc scoured it before looking up at Owen with a twinkle in his eye.
"How about we increase the wager?" Doc asked as Ianto started skimming over his own list. "Andy and I win, you and Ianto act as our personal valets for a month: Opening doors for us, cleaning, coffee, and mucking Dasher's stall, the works."
"And if Owen and I win, you and Andy get to do both of our laundry, clean all of our mission gear, and act as our personal valets as well," Ianto answered holding out his hand to shake on it. "Agreed?"
The elves exchanged glances. "Agreed," they replied as one, each shaking an opposing team member's hand.
"Alright lads, time to round up some clover," Seamus called out. The sound of tapping filled the room as the shillelaghs struck the ground and the assembled masses winked out of sight.
Later that Evening
Current score: Team OI -15, Team DA - 14
O'Donnell's Pub – Northern Belfast
Owen and Ianto appeared in a flash of green in the storage room of O'Donnell's Pub and quickly hid behind a nearby barrel.
"One more to go," Owen observed and the two shared a grin. Other than a wayward dog and a clingy six year old that had taken a well placed sparkle bomb to displace, the night had gone rather smoothly. "Next on the list is Miss Mary Kineely," Ianto read aloud. "Says here that she tends bar at O'Donnell's Pub and has a penchant for scrapbooking." Owen gave him a look. "What?" Ianto huffed. "It's not like there are a lot of clues to this, maybe scrapbooking is a way to track down where she's hidden it."
Owen glanced around the barrel as the door to the storage room was pushed open bringing in the sounds of music and merrymaking from the pub beyond. "We should be out there drinking with them you know," he grumbled, watching as a pretty girl wearing a 'Kiss Me I'm Irish' glitter crown kissed her way through the bar. "Would you look at that?" he complained. "I could be locking lips with her, but oh no, I am stuck with you looking for Mary Kineely and her scrapbooked shamrock."
Ianto rolled his eyes and watched as the bartender stacked up a few cases of beer and made his way back through the door. "Come on," he whispered, pulling Owen behind him as they slipped through the door and into the pub.
The rowdy crowd inside the pub was singing along to the band as they belted out the chorus to 'Bugger Off'. As several of the patrons began to dance a drunken jig, Owen and Ianto wove between their legs, finally stopping out of breath when they made it to the corner behind the bar.
"Bloody hell!" Owen swore as he scanned the room in an attempt to find where Miss Mary could possibly have hidden her clover. "We're never going to find it like this," he realized, and Ianto nodded in agreement.
"Alright, you stay here and look behind the bar," he advised as another glass of beer fell onto the floor near their feet. "And I'll scour the room and see if I can find something in one of those frames on the walls." He clicked on his comm. and handed Owen the shillelagh. Owen switched on his own comm., and watched as Ianto took a deep breath and pulled out his case of sugar plums. Taking a nibble of the purple one, he quickly grew to human size and shook the ringing from his ears before making his way into the crowd.
Owen watched him go and quickly made his way behind the bar, hoping that he might get lucky and find Mary Kineely's purse amongst the cupboards and her scrapbooked clover within easy reach.
Meanwhile in Shrewsbury, Shropshire…
"Right then," said Andy as he and Doc appeared inside the garden center at the Tesco's Extra. "Since we dropped off that clover from Alabama, there's only one left to go." The two of them scoured their list for information and found that their final clover holder was a certain Jerry Lawson, a clerk in the seasonal department with a secret love of pocket watches.
"Well then, it's off to home and seasonal supplies we go!" Doc exclaimed as the two of them scurried from behind the plant pots and made their way across the sales floor.
After getting lost twice and almost being purchased as a toy for a toddler, the two of them decided to climb to the top of a display case in hope of possibly finding their way around.
"Seasonal sighted sir!" called out Andy as he pointed to a garish inflatable rainbow suspended over a papier-mâché pot of gold in the distance.
"Well done Andy," Doc complimented the younger elf, and the two of them began hopping across the aisle tops towards their target.
Ianto had woven his way through most of the crowd and examined nearly every picture on the walls of the pub with no success. "No go on the wall art," he called over the comm.. "Any luck on your end?"
"Ianto!" answered a frantic Owen. "You need to get back here ASAP and stay away from the center of the pub!"
Ianto scanned the room as he made his way back, wondering what had gotten Owen so upset, when suddenly he noticed a flash of green around the neck of the girl wearing the crown.
"Come on Mary! Give us another one lassie!" called out a drunken man in a beer spattered green shirt.
"You've had enough Fergus!" the girl yelled back, taking his empty glass and adding it to the pile on her tray before swatting his arm good-naturedly. Ianto blinked as he saw her bend over to pick up another glass and the pendant of her necklace reflect off the overhead lights. Inside a black square block, scrapbooked onto a field of green and encased in clear plastic was a four leaf clover.
"I have a visual," Ianto said over the comm.. "She's wearing it around her neck. I'm going to retrieve it now." He barely registered the curses Owen was swearing down the line back at him as he wove his way towards her. As the way cleared and he saw Mary heading towards the kitchen, he found his path blocked. "Excuse me," Ianto said, trying to get past the man in front of him and watching as Mary disappeared into the kitchen to unload her tray.
"Ianto? Is that you?" the man in front of him asked.
Ianto stilled and drew his gaze away from the kitchen toward the man before him, who was staring back with a happy expression of surprise. He recognized him instantly as the man with whom he had shared a kiss under the mistletoe last Christmas: Jack Harkness.