It had been raining and some silly ass ninjas were sitting as usual eating themselves to death at this noodle shop or what the fuck it's called. There were also rainbows outside cuz y'know; no rain no rainbow.

There it was again, spring naked right there in front of his nose ready for the taken of the young, baby faced. shota, teenage boy.

How had he ended up in a situation such as this? He was already in a relationship… sort of.

He looked over to his right as a young sexy thang looked at him like he was an idiot.

''Naruto-kun, something wrong?'' Her purple hair shone in the moonlight and shit, which made this situation even more frustrating. He then swallowed hard and looked back at the object in front of him.

'Damn I want you in my mouth.' He thought to himself as it too shone in the moonlight and even more shit.

To his left another sexy thang was sitting, eating an even sexier thang. Her hair was messy but pink and she paid Naruto much to no mind, still he couldn't help but thinking that she secretly probably wanted his tight whiskered ass.

''Naruto-kun?'' The purple haired girl called for him once more, apparently he had spaced out like the baloony-head he was.

''Ah, Hinata! N-no I'm fine, dattebayo!'' He turned his attention back to her and grinned widely.

Hinata looked at him disgruntledly as she backed her head away a bit.

''What?''

''Take care of that nasty shit in your teeth man, it looks like the pavement after the rain.'' She said.

Nah, just kidding what she really said was;

''Uh… N-Naruto-kun.'' And then she made some sort of movements pointing to her own teeth to modestly show it to him.

Quickly he made some sort of lame jutsu making his nasty leftovers disappear from his teeth, because clearly he was simply too ninja to just use floss or a toothbrush like everybody else.

This was getting out of hand, he had been on two dates with Hinata and things were already going downhill. How long would he be able to put up with this charade?

''Narutooo…'' A feline, ghostly voice called voice called, he looked over to his right side-I mean left side and looked at the girl next to him.

''Yes, Sakura-chan?''

She didn't answer him; she had better things to pay attention to, like the wall behind that ramen-selling guy who never opened his eyes for some reason.

''SAKURA-CHAN?'' He yelled making the entire shop turn and look at him.

''THE FUCK?'' Sakura almost spilled her drink over herself.

''You called?''

''Like hell I did!''

''But you haven't spoken to me since our date began.''

Hinata who sat behind him made a ''no-u-didn't'' face as she put one hand on her hips looking like she'll be ready to smack a bitch.

''Bitch I didn't even come here with you.'' Sakura sassed and out from Sakura's left SASUKEH emerged, turns out he has been sitting there in Konoha all this time omg.

''SAS-QUE?'' Naruto yelled only to be mentally punched by him in his face making him fall over ninja-style, after that both SASUKEH and Sakura poofed away and left two substitution logs behind.

''HEY SOMEONE'S GOTTA CLEAN THAT SHIT!'' That guy with closed eyes yelled.

Well not Hinata, cuz she'd be out of that bitch.

Now Naruto was left by his lonesome, and yes all costumers had suddenly left. Even Ichirukia who for some reason didn't want to be left alone with the idiot ninja., I mean shiieet why the hell would he stay with him and two logs—no wait even the logs left, cuz they be ninja-logs. They be out.

There was at least someone who never left him, or more like something, and that was his naruto. No, not himself, that'd be narcissistic, and Naruto the king of shadow jutsus who someday would own this village, was anything but that, pls. His naruto ramen, he realized that it had been his one true love all this time cuz even when he didn't have iruka he always had ramen. It would feed him, kiss him good night and tell him it loved him so it was really all he needed.

Since he was already on the floor he thought to himself that he might as well pop the big question, he wanted the ramen to become Mrs. Ramen Uzumaki, and he wanted it now. He had no ring but he had a ninja ring, which was basically like a ring but you couldn't see it or feel it. Cuz it be ninja like that.

''This is it.'' He mumbled to himself and was about to turn around, but as he did the entire ramen bowl was gone. It had just like the others suddenly disappeared on him.

The next day he however found out what had happened, the ramen had decided to take its career into an entire different level and had gone to sign itself up for the Hokage title, which was granted almost immediately, there had been no contest.

Naruto was at complete loss of the situation; everything he had ever loved had not only left him but also turned on him. He was all alone and was Nokage.

Naruto couldn't…. BELIEVE IT.

Fin.