I layed perfectly still on the old, worn out couch inside of my barely warm apartemnt. My heas was fuzzy and my body nearly numb, or so it felt. The cause of these weird and abnormal feelings were the result in the mixture of pills I had taken about thrity minutes ago. I had exactly planned on taking so many tonight, but after tonights events I convinced myself that I needed , I pickde myself up offf of the couch and headed into the bathroom, with really only on thought on my hazed mind. I bumped right into the bathroom door before making it inside the small room. Instantley, I openeding up the left drawer by my sink, and grabbed the small blade I kept hidded and tapped under it. I placed the small metal object between my pointer finger and my thumb as I raised my left wrist. I started with two long cuts, and then just bagen to slash away at my pale,bruised and delicate flesh. I didn't once flench in pain, only because I was so used to this. I stopped once my entire wrist was covered in those long red lines. I then washed off the blade, put it back in its hiding spot, and put my bleeding wrist in the sink. I didn't bother to wach it off, I just let it bleed.I looked at myself in the mirror for a moment, taking in my apperance. I looked shitty, that was for sure. My forearms and wrist were covered in little purple bruises. As were my thieghs and waist, but tose weren't visable at the moment. I knew these new bruises would disappear in about two or three days, but all they reminded me of right now was todays earlier events. I closed my eyes, and negan to remember the small , as so called 'friend' of mine. and I had been hanging around her boyfriend. Andrew's house around 10:30 pm. Summr and Andrew had been drinking, but not enough to actually get two had their own little conversation as I sat alone on the other couch as the time passed by. Around, maybe the third hour, Jackson, Adrew's bestfirend and roomate, came , Jackson, had a very big, 'crush' so to speak, on me. And each and every time he and I were in the same room, he made sure I knew that. So, you see, this isn't exactly the first time that Jackon has dragged me back into his bedroom, so that he could amuse himself and leave a few more marks on never really, intended, to leave marks on me, those were usually caused by my constant and useless struggling. As always,Summer and Andrew allowed it to happen, sometimes even encouraged Jackson to touch and hurt me. But this was simply because they were to high or drunk to really care or do anything about it. Why I still kept Summer as a friend, I really didn't know, maybe because she was the only one who would give me the pills I used for nights like tonight. Summer was constantly giving me pills, pills that I kept hidden under my bed in a small black shoe box.I might live alone, but ever since Gerard, one of my best friends, and basically my big brother, found me passed out on the couch because I had taken to many pills, came over three times a day to check on me. Each night he would come over, either to find me in the state I was in now, or gone. And each night he came over and found me in this state, he would usally lecture me, or ask me why I had done it this time. But as always, I'd give him the same anwser, "I'm fine".I glanced at the clock on my cell phone, which read, eleven thirty six. Knowing Gerard would be over soon, and not wanting to to be around to hear his lecture, I decided to head out. I grabbed a jacket and slipped it in over my arms and bloody wrist.I shoved my house key into my jeans and left my cellphone on the couch. I left my apartment with one place on my mind, Frank's house.I knew his house was about an hour away on foot, and despite the snow and bitter chilled air, I still decided to make the journey. Frank wouldn't be to shocked to see since he was already used to seeing me show up at random in the middle of th enight, with or without a bunch of pills in my I reached my destination, I decided to straighten out my messy clothes before knocking on Frank's old brown door. I smoothed out my long, velvet red hair, and dusted off my gray tank top and ripped skinny jeans. I postioned my jacket so my arms were completely covered, and let my bangs hang in my left, hazel eye. Satisfied, and a bit unstable, I knocked on Frank's with my hazy and some what blurred vision, I could see the light from Frank's old tv through his I could hear muffled sounds of movement and his tired vioce. Finally, he opened the door.