Enjoy my first attempt at the art of fanfiction! These are just drabbles and one shots to sort of get a feel of the waters and if things turn out well... it might lead to more. Please review and be mindful that it's constructive criticism as flames will not be tolerated. :P
I own the storyline, unfortunately not Naruto.
Even with closed eyes he could see everything, but I suppose 'seeing' wouldn't be the right word because he was feeling the world… And yet that word wasn't entirely honest either. It was more like an intermediate of the two, he saw everything through reaching out.
I could only silently stand there and study him: study the fine definitely lines of him jaw, the long full lashes that slightly shadowed his sun kissed skin, only to be framed by the unruly blonde locks that rustled with the wind's touch. I knew he knew I was there, watching and waiting. Yet he remained unmoving, which I suppose was only a testament to how different things had become. How much time had passed us. A part of him was forever lost, and for the most part… I couldn't help but think the fault was mine. Since he left, Naruto changed and the war only further warped him. At first, it nurtured him, he became this unreachable enigma that continued to inspire – but in time it began to wear him down. He began to change with each fallen soldier, with each lost friend. Even so, it was really his death that truly changed him. It had been his death that broke him.
In less then a second his eyes split open already trained on me, as he began to rise from his meditative pose a toothy grin spread across his face but I knew. No matter how much he tried to hide it from me I knew – it did not reach his eyes. Not anymore, and it only made my heart ache further but what could I do but sadly smile back? His smile slowly slipped off his face, Naruto could see my sadness and regret but maybe, maybe he just might account it to today... It was Kakashi-sensei's anniversary after all. We were going to visit the memorial stone in homage to all the fallen but today was especially for Kakashi. A creeping anxiety led me to fiddle with the gold band around my left finger, one that was the splitting image of the one on Naruto's left hand.
"Sakura." Naruto called out but I couldn't meet those dull blue orbs for long. They'd always been honest and beautiful and once upon a time they reminded you of the sky – seemingly endless, open and free. Now, you ask? Now, they remained beautiful but empty and dull. A consistent reminder of our underlying unhappiness, the unspoken tension shared between us. I would never be able to heal him, no matter how many books I read or techniques I learned, I would never be able to fix his broken heart and it gutted me. There was this deep painful ache in my chest and it honestly killed me inside. I love him. I truly love him so much but there's this incessant reminder in his eyes that he doesn't love me that way, that I could never be his number one since everything changed.
I held back the tears that burned my lids and choked on a sobs that was desperate to escape when he leaned in an kissed my forehead, because I understood that it was meaningless. An action that was expect of him and an attempt to keep our false pretenses up. He took my hand and we began to leisurely walk and from a distance it might have seemed like there was a pleasant silence between us, one commonly shared between people so comfortable with each other that nothing needed to be said, but on a closer look you'd understand that neither of us knew what to say.
We stood in what seemed to be absolute silence in front of the stone. It was a different kind of silence from before, it was a much heavier silence that seemed to wrap the two of us so tightly I felt like suffocating. For two long hours we remained this way, a small homage to Kakashi-sensei, we began to talk about what had been happening in our lives and the village. Reminding not only Kakashi but all of our fallen brothers and sisters that they had not died in vain, that although things were very different from what we'd hoped, all that had been broken could be rebuilt or fixed. And maybe we couldn't fix the broken people but this was the best we could do, and despite what others would say being broken was at least better then being dead, if only a little.
"Kakashi-sensei, I miss you so much." sobbed Naruto, "Sometimes I feel really lost and I don't know what to do and I just wish you and Ero-sensei were still here to help guide me. And Sasuke… I'm so sorry." He words came out sounded strangled.
The grief in his voice pushed me over and I couldn't help but let the sorrow rip through me as I burst out crying. Tears fell freely from both of our faces, and though I was a terrible wreck neither of us made an attempt to console each other, but I wish he would. I wished that the Naruto I'd come to love would wrap his arms around me just to make me feel a little less alone and a little less hurt. But that would never happen, because a big part of him had been lost. Over time we all came to realize that we'd lost a lot more in that war then our loved ones, we had lost the sun. He brushed his fingers over the name Sasuke Uchiha, a name that obviously was not suppose to be there, a name that seemed to have been poorly etched by hand with a kunai. No one dared to scratch it out because we all knew it was Naruto who'd scratched his name onto the memorial stone. The two of them had shared this unexplainable strong bond that I could only gaze enviously at.
At first I'd been jealous of Naruto. I was bitter about the grudging respect Sasuke held for him, that Naruto could be so close to him. The mutual understanding of one another, something no matter how hard I tried I could never be apart of. Later, I couldn't help but resent how much Naruto fought for the raven, that he would never give up on him. I'd come to resent Sasuke for walking by Naruto's side, whilst I was left to stare at their backs.
"I'm sorry Kakashi, I'm sorry Sasuke… I failed Team 7. I never brought you back, I broke my promise to Sakura, I broke my promise to you Sasuke, I broke my nindo and I failed out team."
"Naruto… you didn't failed us," I sobbed out, "I told you to forget about that promise it wasn't important anymore."
"Don't deny it Sakura-chan. I failed Team 7, I was suppose to have brought Sasuke back and later I swore Sasuke that we would die on the battlefield together. By the end of the war I failed Kakashi-sensei, his faith was misplaced on me. I've always been a failure, nothing's changed." he choked out.
"Everyone believed in me and I lead them to their own deaths."
"We believed– still believe in you because you saved us, you made sure we never gave up, to continue struggling to live. Kakashi and Sasuke both understood that, they both would have died for you all over again given the chance. And it's not your fault Sasuke betrayed us, he left the village..." I knew I was heading to a dangerous topic, as his jaw clenched at my words and his balled up fists only tightened.
"They would have wasted their lives all over again then, wouldn't they?"
I was shocked from his statement and before I knew it my hand was in the motion of slapping his face, but before it could he caught my wrist. Naruto's grip was like a vice, "Don't you dare hit me Sakura. Not like all those years ago, and especially when you know nothing about him, married or not."
My heart couldn't help but clench at the onslaught of harsh words, a fresh wave of hot tears blurred my eyes. "Naruto, I never meant–"
"You never meant what Sakura?" His eyes narrowed dangerously, "Sasuke should have never died, at least not for me, not for any of us." He looked down and slowly released my wrist brushing his hair back, "Not him." I almost missed the last part as it had been the quietest of whispers.
I whimpered a little at those words... Sasuke would always be in front of me. He will always have a place in Naruto's heart, a place that I cannot reach. They shared a understanding deeper then just rivals. He's Naruto's most precious person, always standing beside him.
Even in his death, I can't compete with Sasuke Uchiha.