Saint H's Glorious Almighty Author's Notes Which You Will Read and Have a Hot Steamy Goodtime From Doing So:

Hey there guys… well, I've been at this Teen Titans section for a while now and I've noticed something. The whole "Titans are normal and living regular, mundane school lives which we all used to read to get away from" fics are rather popular. Now, not one to down things without trying them first, I've read my share of them. A decent portion of them are ok and entertaining. Unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, most of the others sucked tragic balls. So, hopefully I'll be able to write a humorous story and make fun of some monotonous and just plain lame stories at the same time. Wish me luck or hope I go to hell,

Saint H

Warning: If something in my story offends you, please know, it wasn't meant to. This is not at all a serious story and is meant for the purpose of humor. Please keep that in mind. And, if you are still offended even after doing that, you can pull your head out, thanks.

Chapter One: Summer Tymes Over! Bytches!

Robin got out of bed and hit the button on his alarm cock… clock. He got up and stretched. He was very calm and tranquil. Then he realized just what day it was.

"Holy shuckin fit! It's the first day of school!"

The star of the football team quickly got dressed in Khaki pants, a polo shirt, K-Swiss, and ran down the Eighty-ba-jillion flights of stairs in his humongous mansion, which was made entirely out of platinum, to the garage. There he climbed into his brand torture-spankin' new H-3 and turned the ignition. The engine revved and the smell of burning ozone could be smelled for miles around.

"Oh Hell yes!" DICK said before speeding to the school at the H-3's scintillating max speed of 52 mph.

Raven sat in her dark room. She had her dark clothes on. She looked at her dark decorations. A single tear fell down her immaculate face. She brought the knife up to her throat slowly.

'I'm sorry world, but I can't stay in you any longer. It's time for me to go, I have nothing left to live for.' she thought.

The cold silver of the metal met her thin pale neck. The dark girl calmly closed her dark eyes and took a dark final breathe before darkly committing dark suicide in her dark room with dark decorations and other various dark… things.

'Goodbye cruel world, parting is such sweet sorrow.'

"Yo Raven!" Gar said climbing thru her window, "What's going on?" the freakishly green teenager asked.

"No! Don't try and stop me this time Gar! You can't stop me!" Raven said, emotional tears streaking down her face as she backed up to the far wall away from her true friend. "I know you care deeply for me but I won't let you talk me out of it! I'm gonna kill myself and that's that! I know you'll try and seduce me away from it with tales of friendship and love and good times to come but I won't listen! I'm going to do this and you can't stop me!" the girl shrieked.

"Okay Jebus! I don't give a flaming rats ass if you kill yourself, I was just gonna ask you to go make out in the back seat of my car for crying out loud!" the boy said hopping back out the window.

Raven's eyes lit up, "Say what? Gar! Gar! You convinced me! Let's go make out!" She called from her window.

"Sweet!" the green teen shouted victoriously.

Raven's father busted thru the door to her room, "Garrrrggghhha! I'm drunk and totally spun out on more drugs than you can count and I'll be damned to hell if I let you experience anything good in your entire life! Now come back here and let me abuse you!"

"Screw you old man!" Raven said jumping out the window and into the passenger's seat of Gar's Hippy Van. Don't ask me how she managed to do that without her powers, but she did.

The two drove off into the sunrise to make groovy fun lip-lock until it was time for school to start.

Vic had been up for two hours already. His day thus-far had been, wake up, cook breakfast, serve it, eat it, take out the trash, wash the dishes, make sure his siblings were ready for school, remodel the entire house, walk fifty miles through hellfire to check up on his sweet little old grandma, and solve world hunger.

Vic Stone was one busy sonova bitch.

He had just changed after taking a shower. He walked into the garage where random pieces of various women's were strewn about helter-skelter.

Vic Stone was one busy sonova bitch.

He yawned, climbed into his hand-built custom Dodge Charger. He thought about school and seeing all his friends everyday again, playing sports, getting laid every lunch period… yea, Vic Stone liked school.

He turned the ignition and shifted it into reverse, he hit the gas and promptly ran over his own Mother.

"Oh shit! Sorry Mom!" the teen apologized.

"Don't worry about it Vic, your father does it all the time!" she said pleasantly, crawling out from underneath the car and straitening her shattered spine.

Meanwhile, in the Anders household, Kory and her older sister, Kormy(don't ask, I don't know) where in their shared room half dressed and some sibling drama was unfolding. Let's watch shall we?

"Drama drama! Drama drama drama!" Kormy said haughtily.

"Drama? Drama drama drama!" Kory meekly replied.

"Drama drama drama? Drama drama drama drama drama!" Kormy unfairly accused.

"Drama? Drama drama! Drama, drama drama drama!" Kory responded defensively.

"Drama drama. Hahaha, Drama Dick drama! Drama, drama, drama!" Kormy mocked.

"GASP! DRAMA!" Kory's voiced raised.

Oh, those girls…

Later at school all five of our usual suspects ironically managed to converge upon one spot, their favorite lunch table outside the school. They all sat together and stared at the beautiful sun as the first bell of the year rang behind them.

"No matter what challenges we may face this year, I know we will get thru them together!" DICK's thoughts conveniently narrated, "Because we, we are true friends…

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"…Plus, Kory has a set of jugs you wouldn't believe! Bigger than your head! Oh wait, I… I'm off? Oh, ok my bad."

Saint H: This is a crappy chapter because, to be honest, I just thru this together for the hell of it. It may or may not merit a second chapter. Anyway, to anybody who reads this far, I hate your guts. I mean it, I'll stab you if you review.

(Just kidding, review all you want(no seriously your gonna die if you click that button!(don't listen to him he doesn't know what he's talking about…(Oh? Drama!(Drama drama drama!(Drama drama, drama drama drama..))))))