Disclaimer: This work is largely centered around the episode of Disney's Kim Possible named "Dimension Twist." I own neither that show, nor any of the shows parodied or tributized in the episode. I'm also not making a profit. Unfortunately.
Pairing: None.
Summary: One shot tag to "Dimension Twist." The Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer turns out to be more powerful than moopy.
Without warning, the bridge of the XMS Revenge was abruptly bathed in crimson, the harsh red lighting reflecting off the glittering chrome inlays of the instrumentation. Rising to his feet, Commander Kane, slayer of the evil Ning the Merciless in personal combat, the savior of Gauda Prime, the hero of a dozen battles against a half-score species and veteran of a hundred more besides, instantly barked, "Status report!"
"The main computer has been compromised, Commander," Dr. Nylok, the science officer answered him even as his long, delicate fingers flickering across his keyboard entering commands into the computer. "An unknown entity has penetrated the computer core and is presently accessing our systems. I am attempting to repel the intruder's attempts to reach our data, but so far..."
"Puthiddy," Kane turned and pointed to the door leading to the Mega-Elevator. "Take a squad and..." Before the commander could complete his sentence, the emergency lighting winked out, and the normal illumination was restored to the bridge.
"The intruder has left," the science officer noted, leaning away from his keyboard. He flexed his fingers, working some of the stiffness from the overused joints.
"Well done, Dr. Nylok," Commander Kane praised. He tugged briefly on the front hem of his tunic with both hands, bringing the defined pectoral muscles beneath into stark relief beneath the mustard yellow shirt her wore before releasing the fabric.
"My apologies, Commander," Dr. Nylok demurred. "I regret to report that I was unable to impede the intruder; the departure appears to have been wholly voluntary."
"Impossible!" Major Kanker insisted. "The Punisher-class has the best computer defenses in all of Space Command!"
"True. Apparently," the science officer coolly noted, "however, they still proved to be... inadequate."
From his position at the head of the conference table, Commander Kane eyed his assembled command staff and their assistants, gauging their mood with a practiced eye. To a man - and woman - they were focused and determined - a tribute to Space Command. Nodding approvingly, he asked of the room in general, "All right; so what do we know? Puthiddy?"
The security officer grunted in irritation. "We know very little. The security sensors in the computer core didn't see a thing - but they did register an anomaly."
Rising to his feet, he activated a viewscreen on the wall with a toggle that looked archaic by comparison to the technology of the display unit. "This is the footage recorded by the security sensors in the computer core from the time immediately after the intrusion into our systems was detected. As you can see, the core appears empty. However, if you look carefully at this handrail..." He pointed to a bright yellow guardrail the coloration bright against the muted beige ranks of computer racks behind it.
"It looks like something moved," Major Kanker noted, as a strange shimmer distorted the smooth edge. "But... there's nothing there."
"Precisely," Puthiddy nodded.
"Intriguing," Dr. Nylok noted, as a hint of surprised speculation appeared on his normally rigidly controlled face. "Rumors of energy fields that provide complete stealth - such as that afforded by an invisibility cloak or a tarncape from old Earth mythology, or the Porthos belt from Amaros folklore - have been circulating for years. This footage may be the first tangible evidence that such a technology is actually possible. I must confess, I hadn't thought a Total Masking Device could be built."
One of Commander Kane's eyebrows rose in open speculation. "Was it the Corpulons?" he growled dangerously. The thought of Space Command's most hated enemy in possession of such a device was terrifying.
Puthiddy shook his head. "Negative, sir. Setting aside the fact that if one had managed to infiltrate this ship, it would undoubtedly have begun a course of sabotage once the attempt at espionage had been uncovered, we've managed to extrapolate the general form of our intruder based on the interference patterns and there's no resemblance at all."
The viewscreen flickered, and the video from the core was replaced by a computer generated outline of a vague, roughly amorphous shape. The outline of the form showed the thing was bottom heavy, with four thick, stubby growths that approximated legs descending from the main body while a singular, thin trunk or neck rose from the front, towering over the heavy, squat central mass in a spire seemingly too delicate and frail to be part of the same creature as the bulky mass below.
Mirroring the location and orientation of the forward growth, a thin tail arose from the back end, rising almost perfectly vertically from the hindquarters. A tiny knob sprouted at the end of the tail, possibly the sole remainder of a more potent defensive growth that would have graced a more primitive version of the creature.
From the forward trunk, two emaciated limbs sprouted. The skeletal digits of the tiny hand at the end of each seemed barely larger than the limb that bore them. The closest comparison that came to the Commander's mind as he gazed upon the frail limbs was a dead tree branch; withered and desiccated with age and erosion.
Most disturbingly, a bulbous head topped the trunk - or at least half of one did. The shape of it closely approximated a side view of a sphere that had been chopped in half; while the size appeared appropriate to the squat body, it was far oversized in comparison to the neck that supported it.
Taken in total, the disparate parts of the being formed a whole that was both mismatched and strange. An atavistic revulsion arose at the sight of just the outline; the crew didn't doubt a more accurate depiction would be even more nauseating.
"Lords of Light," a red-shirted young woman at the foot of the table cursed. Her hand unconsciously made a warding gesture from her youth to fend off evil.
"By the ivory globes of Ios - may her name be praised - that thing is one ugly creature!" Kanker scowled.
"No wonder they've developed such advanced stealth technology if they look like that," Commander Kane agreed, his justly famous composure slipping slightly as he contemplated the intruder's inhuman shape.
"Indeed," Dr. Nylok agreed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "It does not resemble any of the species that I am familiar with. However, even with such limited information, we can draw certain conclusions about the beings, however tentative."
"Go on, Doctor," Kane ordered. He continued to eye the unusual shape of the invisible creature with a mix of distaste and curiosity as his science officer explained his comments.
"Note the frail, almost vestigial limbs. The disproportionate size of the cranial cavity. It is clearly a member of a highly advanced species - one far removed from facing mere physical threats to survival.
"Although such conclusions are purely speculative, it seems obvious that the being's mental development has advanced to such a degree that the body itself is largely unused. When considered in conjunction with the advanced technology - both the Total Masking Device and the ease with which the being breached our security - we can only conclude that we are dealing with a highly evolved species."
A thin whistle emerged from a speaker mounted on the wall. The whistle, a technological adaptation of a naval tradition dating back to the days when ships plied watery seas rather than the sea of stars, caused Commander Kane to raise an eyebrow in surprise. "Yes?" he asked aloud.
"Commander," a young woman's voice came over the speaker. "Ensign M'ress here. We've received a transmission from an intelligence vessel in the Zygalon sector."
Kane sighed. "Zygalon? It was such a pity, what happened to that ensign. She looked to have a promising future with the fleet - imagine, conceiving of the idea to deploy the aqua lander to dodge an attack. Ingenious... and such a waste. Another life prematurely snuffed out by the menace of the evil Corpulons." So quietly as to be almost inaudible, he added, "Plus, she was hot." Shaking off the moment of distraction, he asked, "What's the message, M'ress?"
The ensign read, "'Security alert number 3884-Zed-Tango-Nine to all ships, authorization HACKERMANW3. Reports have been intercepted from the Roj and Orio homeworlds of visitation by what is described as a spectral apparition. The 'ghost' does not respond to any attempt at communication or attempt at interference.'
"'Intelligence believes the 'ghost' described in the intercepts to be a probe by an advanced race, potentially in advance of a first contact scenario. As such, it has been classified as an Infrared level secret. Any and all sightings, reports, and information about this phenomenon should be routed to Admiral E. Servalan, Section V, Space Command Headquarters for further analysis.'
"That's all there is to it, sir," the ensign concluded. "The authentication of the message checks out; it's signed by a 'Captain W. Hackerman' and the header indicates it was sent from the XMS Wa de'Load."
Kane frowned. "I don't recall a ship named 'de'Load.'"
"It's one of the new Algolagnia class frigates," Puthiddy answered. "I think it was named for the founder of one of the colonies on the outer rim. Funny; I didn't think any of that class were supposed to enter service for another year."
"Intelligence must have wanted to keep their deployment a secret - loose lips, and all that. Well, no matter," Kane shook his head dismissively. "Our orders are clear. We let the Admiralty deal with it."
"And they're welcome to... it," Kanker muttered under his breath.
"The Intelligence report does appear to corroborate our own observations," Dr. Nylok mused thoughtfully. "The intruder accessed the entire computer core: linguistics, personnel records, recreation, the cultural databank, cartography, the history of Space Command... rather than limiting the intrusion to analyzing our weapons and defensive capabilities as might be expected had this been a precursor to an attack."
"I do have to wonder," Kane paused meditatively. He stared out a viewport into the vast emptiness between the stars that the XMS Revenge was brazenly cruising through.
"Yes?" Dr. Nylok prompted.
"The Roj... the Orio... and now us. Why not make contact? Why would they simply scan our databanks and vanish?" Kane wondered aloud as his chin slowly rose, silhouetting his face heroically against the backdrop of starry night.
"Perhaps," Dr. Nylok suggested, "they did not feel we were ready for first contact. Or possibly that we weren't worthy of such contact."
"Humph," Commander Kane snorted. "If they ever come back, the Revenge will show them who's worthy."
From his seat at his computer, Wade hit a button, deactivating the holo-wall. The credits scrolling down the holo-wall faded away along with the theme music coming from hidden speakers, leaving the panel blank and dark.
Despite his attempts to remain calm, Wade's grin was huge as he took a sip of soda from a disposable cup. "It worked perfectly..." he chortled.
Kim hadn't batted an eye when Wade had asked her for the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer. After the way he'd helped seal the breach in the dimensions with the aid of Ron's monkey plug - and brought them both out of the vortex, she had been more concerned with getting home than worried about being prompt in returning the stolen device - and with both Dr. Drakken and Shego safely contained thanks to "Mister Sit-Down," there was no real need to rush to return it.
He had requested it for one reason: Wade's natural curiosity had taken hold. Even while trying to trace the bio-signatures through the dimensions Drakken had unintentionally opened, Wade's mind had been distracted, thinking about all the possibilities, and eventually he'd realized a truth. The answer had been so simple that he had almost missed it; integration was the key - integration with the underlying rules of the dimension.
The new dimensions the Vortex opened had proven to be surprisingly forgiving of intrusion, automatically integrating new presences into the context of the dimension's preexisting reality. Wade had no idea how it worked or why, or even if it was a side effect of the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer or just a characteristic trait of those dimensions that the device could open. It did work; and that was what mattered - accept the integration - or emulate it - and the dimensional travel was both stable and safe.
It would be a wrench to return the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer, but, however reluctantly, Wade knew he would deliver it back to the lab when it opened on Monday. His insights on its workings he'd keep to himself, however; given the security at the research lab, he didn't doubt that he'd eventually get another chance to experiment with it.
Wade typed on his keyboard for a few moments, bringing the WadeBot 2.5 online, then reactivated his holo-wall, switching the inputs from the satellite feed to the robot's video display. Once connectivity had been established, he scanned the massive memory bank inside his cybertronic proxy, then called up one of the smaller files.
The holo-wall lit up with a giant image of the cover of a book - a book graced with the smirking blue-skinned image of a villain. "Drakken - The Autobiography Of A Supervillain," Wade read aloud, paging through the snapshots he'd taken to capture the complete text of the book. The print was slightly distorted both from the angle and the lens on the WadeBot's camera, but it was still readable - and he had an OCR program that would clean it up nicely.
Closing the file, Wade considered his options as he leaned back in his chair. The book appeared to end abruptly - concluding with a few words about preparing for an upcoming interview on a TV show - so it didn't predict the future, but it still contained a wealth of information about Drakken's old plots, plans, inventions, and psychology. Unfortunately, turning it over to Kim or Global Justice would also implicitly reveal his own unauthorized usage of the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer. "I'll think about it later; maybe I better read it through to see if it would be useful enough to risk handing it over. Maybe I can think of a way to give them any decent information without revealing the source."
Jumping dimensions to find and scan the book had been almost an afterthought - much like the side trip to get the Naked Mole Rat stirfry recipe had been. "It'll make a great gag gift." Wade's attention had been - and still was - much more focused on his primary objective; the one which filled the rest of the WadeBot's systems. "A copy of the computer core of the XMS Revenge..." he breathed reverently, stroking the squat armored cowling that protected his singular and utterly unique treasure.
The security on the retro-future computer system on the star cruiser had quickly fallen beneath the might of his hacking skills - even limited as they had been by the need to work through the WadeBot. The ship's computer had yielded vast though as yet untapped wealth - information about the show's universe that even the creators of "Space Passage" might not be aware of.
"It's a pity the mass data dump tripped that alarm, but it was still easy enough to handle." Grinning, Wade took another sip of soda. "All it took was one time-delayed message planted in the computer, and not only is my intrusion explained well enough to maintain dimensional stability and continuity, but I can finally say I've toppled Larry and his "Rebellion on Bernalus" fan script from the pinnacle of fandom. I can't wait to see the look on his face at the next convention. Maybe I should just call him, let him know about 'Captain Hackerman' and the 'XMS Wa de'Load' - and they're even in the show's canon. That'll show him who's the Great Bird of this Galaxy."
Chuckling to himself, Wade opened another file. His holo- wall illuminated, displaying the schematics to a pod fighter. The outline of the warcraft was illustrated down to the smallest rivet - something the show's creators had never revealed, even if more than one fan (including Wade himself) had created three- dimensional models based on the miniatures they had released - after correcting the obvious errors the toy company had added.
He fought against the urge to erupt in peals of maniacal laughter at the complete and total success of his mission. "Nah, that would be just too much of a cliché," he smirked silently.
He opened another file, this one labelled "FTL Engines" and eagerly began poring over the schematics. The creators had never explained the propulsion systems in the series, and Wade had been enmeshed in a debate with other fans over the details of the system they used for two seasons.
"Nice..." He marvelled at the elegant simplicity of the warp nacelles, and the ingenious complexity of the schematics for the anti-matter containment system. Despite his sense of triumph, his mind drifted as he recalled the "eureka" moment that had led him to this moment.
It was such a simple truth; and it had come to him as he watched Kim and Ron and Shego and Drakken transition between realities, only to have their clothing and possessions morph and change as they were integrated into the new dimension. It was a simple concept, but one that had apparently eluded the scientists researching the Inducer.
The portals opened by the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer might not allow non-living matter to transfer from one parallel universe to the next or out of the alternate dimensions, but memories - human or machine - came back to the originating universe just fine. The Kimmunicator had proved that for him more than adequately to risk his newest WadeBot in a Vortex. "Still; it's kind of a pity... I always wanted to know what the Holy Ring of Zed Beta looks like, and it would have made a nice Christmas gift for mom."
Closing the file on the propulsion system, Wade browsed a few more, ones with such intriguing titles as "Atmosphere Replenishers," "Defense Shields," "The Phased Amplification through Stimulated Emission of Radiation," "Energon Cube Construction," and even the amusingly titled "Maintenance Guide to the Mark XV Power Core - Revision B; property of the Jupiter Mining Corp, not for external distribution." Although they were all interesting, he quickly returned to the one labelled "FTL Engines."
And as he continued to read the file, and flipped back and forth between the schematics, equations, help files, and considered the engineering specifications listed in the data, his eyes slowly began to grow wider and wider. Very, very carefully, he sent a copy of the WadeBot's memory to a protected, offsite storage archive - just in case.
Returning to his reading while the backup to the Ghostwheel facility was running. Wade's expression slowly shifted as he read, running the gamut from disbelief, to surprise, to amazement, before ending with an almost giddy delight. "The book is nothing," Wade marvelled. "I thought I was just getting the ultimate fan souvenir, but instead..."
Wade abruptly understood on a visceral level exactly why - despite the potential to destroy an area the size of Nevada, and the seemingly unlimited allure the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer held in the villainous psyche - it was still being researched. "It's a key to unlocking the secrets of the universe..."
Wade's grin grew devilish as he continued to read, plans and blueprints firing his imagination as he envisioned a shipyard taking shape in orbit. "It will be expensive to gather that much Yurium, but... I wonder if Kim's dad would enjoy a trip to Alpha Centauri?"
Author's Notes: Another episode centric one-shot... I was tempted to put in some of the details in Drakken's autobiography, but like Wade said, the book was pretty incidental to the larger scope.
Kudos and a round of Romulan ale (or Saurian brandy if you don't like the taste of blue) if you caught all the references and allusions... Not all of them are from the obvious series, largely because I went from memory rather than trying to look them up to validate them, and chose to broaden the source base.
Anyway, read and review!