I'm Not a Hero

I am so high, I can hear heaven
I am so high, I can hear heaven
But heaven, no heaven don't hear me

Harry Potter was frustrated, tired and sad.

He was frustrated that his life had been reduced to this, to just running and hiding and trying to find a way to save the world without ever doing anything because it wasn't "safe".

He was tired of running, tired of hiding and tired of waiting for Voldemort to just walk through the door and kill him whenever he felt like it.

And he was sad because he knew he wasn't what everyone had always thought he was. He had no idea how to destroy Voldemort once and for all; he had no idea how to save his friends, his teachers, his fellow students, people he had just met in the streets, people who he had never seen before in his life, people who all thought that he would stop He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. People who thought that he was someone he wasn't. People who thought he was a hero.

But he wasn't a hero. He was just a scared seventeen-year-old kid with a scar on his forehead and an ambition to graduate from Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft before he died.

He wasn't a hero.

And they say that a hero can save us

But he was tired of waiting while people pinned their stupid hopes on him on the off-chance that his mother would come back from the dead and jump in front of him just in the nick of time. Which wasn't going to happen.

But he wasn't going to wait anymore. Harry Potter had made a decision.

He was going to go out there, find Voldemort, kick his evil arse and probably get killed.

I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles
Watch as they all fly away

Harry stood up, closed his eyes for one moment to collect his wild, scattered thoughts, took a deep breath and opened them again.

His green eyes were filled with a determination that took place of the hopelessness from the moment before.

He grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment and wrote a hurried letter. Turning to Hedwig, he attached the letter to her leg.

"Hedwig take this to the Burrow. I want you to give it to Ron or Hermione, whoever's closest. Ok? And Hedwig, don't come back. I won't be here. Stay at the Weasley's. I'm sure they'll keep you."

The beautiful owl that had been faithful to Harry for seven long years seemed to hesitate, before nipping his finger affectionately. It was as if she knew it was going to be the last time she would never see her owner again.

"Goodbye," Harry whispered as she unfolded her snow-coloured wings and took off, disappearing into the night-sky.

Someone told me love will all save us
But how can that be, look what love gave us
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling
That world never came

And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles
Watch as they all fly away

Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you
It isn't the love of a hero, and that's why I fear it won't do

Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, Harry turned away from the window. He could only hope that they understood, that they didn't do anything stupid. That they knew how much he loved them all.

And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles
Watch as they all fly away

He sighed, looking around the small apartment he'd been staying in for the summer holidays. It hadn't been safe for him to stay at the Dursley's anymore, or the Weasely's for that matter.

He scanned the room one last time, mentally saying goodbye.

Then he grabbed his wand, flung open the door, and strode out, away from the past, and into his destiny.

And they're watching us, they're watching us

***

In the early hours of Christmas morning, Ron Weasley was woken up by an owl tapping on his window.

He got out of bed sleepily, opened the window and detached the letter from his best friend's owl, and read it.

And then he was suddenly wide awake, very pale, and rushing down the stairs hollering for his parents and Hermione to wake up.

The Weasley's and Hermione gathered in the kitchen, too afraid to ask why Ron was so upset by a letter.

"It's Harry," Ron choked out. "He…He's gone off to find….Him."  

There were collective gasps as everyone absorbed this news, then sobs from Ginny and Molly.

Fred and George were staring at him with identical expressions of horror, Hermione's face had drained of blood and Arthur froze completely.

Ron sank to the floor limply, not believing that Harry had gone off to do something so stupid.

Hermione moved forward jerkily, and sinking to her knees beside Ron and took the letter from his grasp.

Tears streamed down her face as she read.

Dear Everyone,

I just want to say before you read the newspapers and find out what I've done, that I'm sorry. I need to do this, and I hope that you can understand, if not now then in the future.

I'm not the hero everyone thinks I am, but I'm tired of waiting and so I've gone off to find him before he finds me. I've no doubt that I'll die on this little private mission, so I'm writing to say goodbye.

Hermione – Thank you for being my friend, for helping me get through the confusion that is Hogwarts, and for just being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you. I'm sure you'll graduate with flying colours!

Ron – Thank you, mate, for everything. You've been a great best friend to me, as well as a great chess-tutor. And mate, before I say goodbye, I'd just like to tell you to swallow your pride and ask Mione to marry you. And you'd better look after her, or I'll come back to haunt you!! Think of me when you graduate!

Molly and Arthur – Thanks for letting me stay all those times, and for everything. You two have been like the parents I've never had, and it's meant a lot to me.

Fred and George – I hope you two are successful with your joke-shop, and that you never lose your sense of humour. Oh, and do me a favour, give Snape a canary cream sometime, will you? Or maybe just some shampoo.

Bill, Charlie and Percy – I hope you three are successful with your careers and girlfriends, and just life in general. Don't ever give up!

Ginny – I hope your remaining years at Hogwarts are great, and that you'll get a good job and a loving husband and children. And never forget the fact that you've grown up into a beautiful young woman!

Sirius – I'm sorry I won't be alive to see you finally have your name cleared, but I'm sure it will happen. Thank you for being my godfather, and don't worry – you've more than fulfilled your promise to my father.

Remus – I hope they find a cure for you, and that you go back to teaching. You were the best DADA teacher I ever had!

Hagrid – Keep up the good work teaching, and try not to scare the first years too much this year! I hope you can finally get your wish and have a pet dragon. I'm sure you'll have one one day!

Professor Dumbledore – If I don't kill Voldemort, then I guess it's up to you. I hope you succeed. Thank you for being a great headmaster, and for being there through this all. Good luck with life, and tell Fawkes goodbye from me.

This is it. Say goodbye to everyone from me, and I hope everyone has a good life.

Remember me.

Goodbye,

Harry.

The letter was silently passed around the room, until almost everyone was crying.

A tapping sound startled them all.

It was another owl, bearing Hermione's Daily Prophet. The owl dropped the paper into Hermione's hands and flew off again.

They all stared at the front page disbelievingly.

In bold letters, the headline read: Voldemort Gone, Harry Potter Dead.

He had done it.

As we all fly away.