Another Mariokart rip-off
Elder God: Hello and welcome to the racing game of the era. Not to be missed! Although, anyone who wishes to see the repeat may have it, only if they kill themselves without delay. So without further ado, let us introduce the racers. Raziel!
(He strolls out and takes his bows to massive cheering, climbing into his car as his pit crew make the final adjustments.)
Elder God: Alas, Kain is currently indisposed, but he sends his apologies and a contestant to take his place. Please welcome...Morlock!
(Some indifferent cheers.)
Elder God: And of course, no race would be complete without representation from the God of Nosgoth, so next up...Moebius!
(Dead silence.)
Elder God: Hmm...Not a popular choice there. Please welcome our next contestant, some of you might remember him, most won't, but due to lack of interest from most Nosgothians, sadly, our next contestant is no household name...John!
(General bewilderment)
Elder God: The man who operates the dais in the Nexus stone chamber.
(John takes his place in a rickety kart that is barely holding together.)
Elder God: Now, as I said, lack of interest has forced us to scrounge for our last contestants, so please welcome...Irmok!
(Irmok wanders on, still carrying his cauldron.)
Elder God: And, last, but hopefully not least, the only person here who actually knows how to work their Kart, needing no introduction...The Builder!
(No reaction.)
Elder God: And, now that we've met the racers, let's have a look at the course, shall we?
(The camera pans over it.)
Elder God: As you can see, the course is very simple. It is basically a circle, with a few variations, such as the hairpin bend and spiral. I have placed several tentacles in places along the track, where they will attempt to destroy any Kart that comes close. Other obstacles include the pools of water. The corpses strewn along the track are merely remnants from the previous race, please ignore them. Power ups include time-streaming devices, which allow you to move faster or slower depending on the type. The pools of blood will sustain the vampires; I have supplied several souls for Raziel. The humans will use the nitrous oxide cartons. The coins are for the toll booth, but sadly the toll personnel have not turned up today. Races are two laps. The race will start...Now!
-And Irmok appears to be having engine trouble as his cart revolves on the starting line. It seems his race is over before it has begun. –Moebius is moving at a reasonable speed, but his Kart does not have the stamina to keep up with the leaders-
-Raziel and the builder are having a very good battle up front, neck and neck, with Morlock not far behind. John's Kart is trundling slowly around the course, determined but dull-
-And The Builder has pulled ahead after turning on the turbo charge, he's already a good fifty yards ahead, it looks like the race is won already. What can Raziel do?-
-And it appears he's shifting planes. Moving to Spectralvision now for the benefit of our audiences-
-And Raziel is having a good battle with two sluagh who have somehow appropriated Karts, its tough going now, and Raziel is forced to switch back to Material as he passes a corpse in the track-
-And in material now, Raziel is well ahead, he phased through the toll booth in spectral and is on the verge of lapping Moebius, who reacts with admirable deviousness to Raziel's gleeful taunt, slowing time just as Raziel passes beneath a tentacle, causing his Kart to be crushed and knocked out of the running-
-The Builder seems to be a cert for first place now, with no one near enough to contest the title-
-But no, he was unfortunate enough to pick up a quickening Time streaming device, and with his Kart already at turbo speed, there's nothing he can do to prevent himself crashing into the toll-booth, thus clearing the way for Morlock behind.-
-Morlock coasts past John with feeble contempt-
-And Now Morlock fires a telekinetic projectile at Moebius from behind, it strikes dead on and damages his Kart enough to knock him out of the running.-
-Morlock slows down as he realizes no-one can contest the title now-
-But it is not to be, as Moebius clambers free of the wreckage and activates his staff-
-Morlock's Kart crashes into the boundary as he is wracked with pain-
-And John trundles round the course...slowly. Very, very, slowly. And carefully. And there's nothing anyone can do about it.
Half an hour later...
Elder God: And he crosses the finish line... Well, that was an outcome nobody expected except me, as the omniscient and omnipotent God of Nosgoth. In fact, I had an archon place a bet. I'M RICH!. I wonder how the other contestants will take it. Join us next time, for the post race interviews. Goodbye, folks.
Chapter By: Clement Rage