A/N:This following story is extremely dark, filled with violence, an insane amount of profanity, attempted murder, actual murder, graphic depictions of depression & drug abuse, as well as dark themes that will be explored in further chapters. If any of the following content makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, I suggest that you skip the chapter that contains the content. Warnings will be posted at the top of every chapter that contains those things. It's rated M for a reason.
Plenty of swearing in this chapter.
Disney owns Frozen.
Alone.
I was alone, freezing in the unforgiving cold, without a single sense of life in me. It was below freezing. I opened my eyes, and saw the endless array of snowflakes dancing across my body. I was in the middle of a dark alleyway. My insides felt as if they were on fire, my limbs were shaking of intense frostbite, and my skin turned bright blue. My ankle was shattered so walking was impossible. Lying on the cold, hard cement, I expected to die. I wanted to die. I wanted to finally end the torture that consumed me.
If I didn't get rescued soon, this alleyway will become my ice cold grave. A silhouette of a person started walking towards me. "Hang in there", shouted a voice that I didn't recognize. I was almost unconscious with a blurry vision, so it was impossible making out whoever that was.
"Don't die on me", the voice came again.
There was raw, bitter emotion in her voice.
Despite her pleads, a part of me wanted to end it all, right there and then. Grabbing my arms, she pulled me away.
Severely damaged by the effects of the cold, I was dragged back into the abyss while I watched, as the snowflakes gently made their mark on the abandoned alleyway.
I woke up to an extremely painful headache as well as an excruciating abdominal pain. I placed a hand on my stomach to somehow ease the discomfort. My dreams had been becoming increasingly vivid over the last couple of days. The thought of dying against the unforgiving cold never seemed to bother me. In fact, nothing seemed to bother me anymore. It seemed as if my mind just stopped caring about life. I view death as a product of nature, nothing to get emotional about. You might think of me as a cold, heartless person, but I'm simply telling the truth. I grew to accept death as something that came naturally, unexpectedly, and without warning.
Why, you ask?
It was just last spring. Everyone was packing up and getting ready to enjoy the March Break season. My parents were scheduled to visit my aunts and uncles overseas.
"Anna! You will stay with grandpa and grandma for a week, understood?"
"Not like I have a choice."
SMACK!
"Don't you dare show the same kind of attitude towards them, got it?"
I didn't say a single word until after they left.
My grandparents forced me to watch the national news which I dreaded the thought of even paying attention to for a minute. I was ready to fall asleep onto my grandfather's lap until something out of the ordinary caught my attention. On the news was the report of a plane crash in the Bahamas.
"Flight A539 went down just 3 hours ago. We have been reported that there were NO survivors."
My grandparents were hysteric, whilst I didn't even shed a single tear. I was so shocked by their certain demise that my mind completely stopped working. I went into my room and laid my head onto my old, dusty mattress. All the feelings, the emotions, and love, were gone. Tossed into the black abyss. It was at that moment when I truly stopped caring about anything. I soon fell into depression, and turned to drug use. I blew away all my friends such as Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven and made enemies in the form of Hans. They tormented me daily without any remorse.
I've said enough about my past, now back to the present.
I woke up feeling as miserable as I've ever been. I looked at the alarm clock and it's 10:30 AM.
"Shit.", I murmured. I must have overslept. Cool air found its way into my lungs in order to wake me up. I looked outside my bedroom window and found my entire block being decorated by lights and the holiday decors that you'll usually find at this time of year.
Oh, great. It's the Christmas season.
Suddenly, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Anna?", came the voice of my grandfather. It was extremely frail, full of weakness and age. He let out a small cough before continuing to speak.
"For the last three weeks, I've been terribly ill. The doctors prescribed me every single form of medication they knew to cure my predicament. I'm afraid that they've all been ineffective. It would be better if I stay at home until they can find a cure."
I was shocked. Horrified even. He sat down on the couch next to me.
"I have always loved you.", he said with a hint of disparity.
"There isn't a clear future for me, not with this condition. I really don't know how much time I have left. This so-called illness seems to be draining the damn life out of me."
I loved my grandfather as if he was a second parent. Ever since my parents died, he was the one that stood by my side, raised me, fed me, and took care of me when no one even had the tendency to even consider in the first place. It seems as if death would soon engulf him as well, not that I was unprepared to deal with it. I felt tears forming from the back of my eyes.
"Grandpa", I added.
"I love you with all my heart." I spoke, trying not to let the tears out. "Fuck it". I stopped talking and hugged him right there, on the spot.
"Watch your language.", he said, with a smirk on his face.
He slowly pulled me away before giving me his plans for the day.
"Today is Saturday, so you don't have to worry about waking up late." I was so relieved. "Since I am extremely sick, it looks as if you should do all the Christmas shopping this year."
This was the first Christmas since my parents died on March Break.
"Sure", I agreed. "Here's the list."
He handed me a huge list with a bunch of items that included a turkey, a ham, a Christmas tree, and many more.
"I would need some cash first, grandpa.", trying my best to put a smile on my place.
"Here's $300. Don't spend it all in one place."
He left, limping out of my room on his walking cane before letting out another wheezy cough.
How would I put $300 to good use? Wait, I have an idea.
I grabbed my coat and my wallet before making my way to the living room. "Are you sure you don't breakfast?", my grandfather asked before handing me a plate of my favourite pancakes. "No thanks.", I kindly refused before stepping outside of the house with my hands in my pockets.
The air was cold and dry. Although Christmas would come in ten days, there wasn't a slightest indication of eventual snowfall. The streets were barren like an abandoned wasteland. People were filling their front yards with Christmas trees, stringing lights around their houses, and putting a giant snowman on their roof. Refusing to cave into this so-called holiday spirit, I decided to walk faster.
The sky was filled with thick, grey clouds on a chilly, winter afternoon. The trees were stripped cleanly of their leaves. Children were playing street hockey, much to the disdain of the elderly.
After a twenty minute stroll, I finally arrived at the mall complex. Without hesitation, I grabbed my wallet with the $300 and went inside the local marijuana shop. That's right.
"Anna! It's been quite a while!", shouted the dealer.
"You don't have to shout, we're inside a store.", I responded, trying not to sound agitated. He smiled as if he found that amusing. "The usual?", he asked.
The dealer, whose name was Jason, had a close relationship with me. Although I was 17, way underage to even touch marijuana, was getting it at a discount, from this man. He knew the struggles and the conflict I was dealing with, so he decided to offer me some of his own kindness. Think of it as an action of gratitude, and pity.
"Yes.", I responded.
He handed me three ounces of weed for a price of $195.00. Usually, he would charge $150.00 per ounce, but he let me off the hook because I was a teenager and was going through some tough issues. That seemed like a pretty great deal.
"Thank you.", I kindly responded. "Have a nice day." I exited to avoid any further awkward conversation.
I couldn't smoke weed at home because my grandfather would find out. He was my legal guardian, a parent, someone who should never find out about my addiction. I went towards an alleyway to finish at least 1/2 ounce of the weed before I get home. I pulled a lighter out of my pocket and sat down on the dirty floor next to a garbage dump. Surveying the area, I found no one. Finally, just peace and utter tranquility. Smoking weed helped to ease the ever increasing anxiety. For several minutes, I cared about nothing, and worried about nothing. I stopped worrying about school, the stupid shopping list, the fact that I spent most of the money my grandfather gave me on marijuana, the fact that he had a terminal illness, and most importantly, those idiotic bullies.
"This feels fucking amazing.", I said to myself, not worrying about saying a curse word that my grandfather would surely disapprove.
The sky grew thicker, filled to the brim with greyish black clouds which indicated a certain thunderstorm in the works. I knew I had to hurry finish shopping before the storm arrived. Grabbing my bags of weed and putting the lighter back into my coat, I headed straight into the mall.
I used a perfume to mask the smell of marijuana on me. While walking inside the mall, looking between shops, I decided to go into the grocery store to pick up the food.
"Let's see, a whole turkey, a ham, some eggnog..". The list just kept adding more and more items onto my shopping cart. "Okay, $65.35 is your total. Cash or credit?", said the cashier.
"I'm paying in cash." I was astonished. I just brought a whole turkey, a bag of cookies, a seasoned ham, a bunch of donuts, a bottle of eggnog, a bottle of wine, salad, a bag of potatoes, and many more for a little over the price of an ounce of marijuana that Jason so kindly sells to me.
I put the change into my wallet and found that I only have $39.65 left. Seriously, priorities and spending wisely aren't exactly my strengths.
As I made my way through the mall, I noticed a guy wearing a snowman costume, handing out flyers for an upcoming Christmas play.
"Witness the most magical play of year!", said the man, who tried to sound enthusiastic but was secretly embarrassed inside. In my opinion, that was one of the worst jobs in the world.
Behind him, was the biggest holiday decor store I've ever seen. LED lights lit up every inch of the entrance. Two tall Christmas trees lit up the walkway. Hundreds of people occupied every square inch of every floor of this gigantic store.
Damn. Looks like this holiday spirit isn't going away anytime soon.
I pushed my cart, which was already overflowing with food, inside the store. I piled LED's, toys, and a gigantic Christmas tree onto my shopping cart, which struggled to contain everything. "Urgh!", I groaned.
I was growing more frustrated by the minute. Struggling to push my cart through the endless array of people, I started to become increasingly agitated.
What's the point of all of these "things"? I'm not even in the holiday mood. I'm as miserable and dead inside as that guy dressed up as a snowman, handing out flyers. I could be back in the alleyway, smoking my weed, but instead, I'm pulling a bloody heavy cart through an overcrowded store! Can't I just have one mo_.
CRASH!
That's where everything changed for me, but my first response was out of sheer anger.
"Hey! What the fuck was that? Don't you see where you're FUCKING going?!", I shouted at the top of my lungs, not minding the people watching. Someone had just crashed into my overflowing cart, spilling nearly everything onto the ground. I expected it to be an overweight, drunken idiot, but I was soon mistaken.
"I'm terribly sorry about that."
It wasn't an overweight, drunk buffoon as I expected. It was a girl. She was quite pretty, to be honest. She had rich, platinum blonde hair, pale skin, and those eyes!
"I a-.", I was unable to get any words out. Without any delay, she carefully put my items back into my cart. Noticing the green vest she was wearing, she must be working in the store.
"Sorry.", she managed to apologize before the last item had been restored into my cart. She walked away with her arms crossed of sheer embarrassment. What really struck my attention was the amount of coworkers jeering and making fun of her after the accident.
"Check out that fucking klutz!", shouted an overweight hag, who was probably a senior in that store.
"Ha! First mistake in less than 24 hours, huh?", smarked an Indian man in his 20's.
I think she might be the new girl for them to be picking on her like that.
Then, the manager came to confront her.
"Listen here, you fucking klutz!" He lured her into a corner where the customers couldn't hear him yelling. "You are already making idiotic mistakes! I want you to work overtime and get here extra early in the morning, and there better not be a single mistake tomorrow, understood?!"
I eavesdropped to hear the conversation.
"Yes, sir." She politely answered, but the manager was being a complete asshole who shouldn't even deserve such a response.
"Fucking pathetic!" The manager yelled one last time before exiting the scene.
She calmly wiped the tears from her face before leaving.
I paid for the rest of my things which accounted to a total of $38.50. As I exited the mall, I couldn't ignore the sound of thunder and rainfall pouring over the cement floor. I called upon a taxi to deliver the countless items into my home. Grandpa was sitting on the porch, greeting me with an open smile.
My grandfather helped me stock up all the Christmas items before giving me a hug.
"I knew you could do it!", he said.
Calm down, it was just some stupid Christmas shopping, I didn't save the world.
I went back into my room feeling like complete, utter shit. Why? Why did I happen to throw an outburst inside that store, especially towards such a pretty girl? She didn't deserve it, my yelling, the jeering, and that asshole of a manager. She deserved none of it.
I knew what I had to do. Tomorrow, I'll go back to apologize to her.
Little did I know, that one little accident at the mall would change my life, for the worst.