(A/N: The most ridiculous fan fiction name ever because I am absolutely talentless at naming things. I actually initially started writing this for the "same school" theme of Aokiseweek, but guess who cannot write anything properly briefly; so it turned too long to be a oneshot and I lost my direction, clueless about where I was heading with it... So I took a break. I took such a break that when I turned back to it yesterday, I thought, "I am never ending or posting this." However, this ugly child of mine found a way to endear itself to me and gave me various ideas I just had to write. So here it is, I hope it is at least readable.
This will be a two-shot and I am sincerely sorry for ending it on a rather sad note for this first chapter [oops, was that a spoiler?] but do not worry, I am aware of the angst-ridden nature of the fan fiction for this lovely duo and am definitely not planning to add yet another one onto that pile [now this is definitely a spoiler].
Also, is there any possibility of Aomine Daiki seeing the Year of Dragon J's and not thinking of Kise Ryouta? Absolutely not, in my humble opinion. [Does this count as a spoiler too?])
...
They had not talked much in the last months of high school, partially because basketball had both surprisingly and unsurprisingly taken the back seat in their lives and partially because they had simply been too busy studying than to think of anything or anyone else.
Still Momoi should have known well that Kise had also made it in Nippon Sport Science University, yet she had not revealed this key piece of information to him, ever. It was frustrating as hell to know that, as Aomine sat next to Kise listening to the first university lecture of his life. It was utterly bewildering to meet the blond at the lobby of the building about fifteen minutes ago as he was angrily searching for the lecture hall. A small crowd of giggling girls distracted him and when he looked over he came eye to eye with his former teammate and rival. Golden orbs widened with surprise but nowhere equal his, which definitely meant that Momoi had told Kise about his own plans. So why not other way around?
They struck a quick conversation and Kise mentioned how surprised he was at Aomine being actually on time and in response Aomine admitted that he had promised Momoi to not be late to any of his lectures the first day, or there were repercussions. This was the first time the duo separated in their educational lives and Momoi seemed to be the one hit hardest with it, so Aomine entertained her. At least for the day. Kise had smiled gently then, he probably saw through Aomine's own insecurities and anxiety at the separation, this apparent insight made Aomine even more nervous. God, he hated how observant the blond could be regarding the emotions of those around him.
Fast forward to fifteen minutes later and here they were, sitting next to each other and actually listening to a lecture.
Four years.
For four years, Aomine would be in this school, attend more or less the same courses with Kise considering their similar majors, become part of the same basketball team. It was vexing even though they had once been school mates, teammates, friends... and maybe, maybe something more?
He still remembered all the tiny details of his first kiss stolen by the blond pretty boy, under the moonlight in the middle of a desolate park on their way back home after many hours of post-practice one-on-ones that had continued well into the night. They had talked about first kisses earlier that day at lunch, Aomine was not sure who had brought the topic up in the first place, regardless Kise's confession that he had never kissed anyone had piqued his interest and provoked his curiosity; he had always thought the blond would be a player, having girls crowd around him all the time. Aomine for his part was equally virgin but had lied through his teeth despite the angry and knowing stare of Momoi and was just thankful that she had not revealed how full of shit he was. The point: Kise had believed him and then pestered him on the way home and at one point as they argued, their bodies moved closer to each other than they should normally and the moment Aomine felt the warm breath on his face and just how large those mesmerising golden orbs were, just how plump and pink Kise's lips were, just how flawless his skin was under the moonshine... There had been many moments that led to that moment, stolen glances, awkward touches, weird dreams... Somehow all those had converged and birthed that single moment of wonder and attraction, of Aomine's arm moving in an instant and holding Kise, of eyes widening in surprise and expectation, of the pure absence of rejection on Kise's part and pure presence of impulsive determination on Aomine's, of a kiss so childishly naïve, so sweetly chaste that it only hurt Aomine to remember now.
It hurt beautifully though.
Kise had not run away afterwards nor had he himself. They had stood there in awe, staring each other's eyes in perfect silence as though such waiting would lead to a wondrous miracle. Perhaps it did, Aomine had to admit, what he felt then and there had been wondrous. Miraculous. After some awkward chuckling and dismissing words they had moved along and walked home together like they always did. The matter of the kiss was never brought up again and though the yearning looks and anxious touches happened, they never culminated in anything afterwards... Later they became separated in more ways than one and even after when they more or less reconciled in high school, even after when Aomine admitted to himself at least internally that he was obviously bisexual, even after when Kise confessed to all their friends that he was gay, even after when they started playing one-on-ones again now and then, even after that fateful day near the end of their second year when Kise finally defeated him in an official game... They never spoke of it again.
One would assume the elephant would grow too huge over time due to such deliberate ignorance but even if it did, perhaps neither recognised?
Aomine pondered absent-mindedly all these and much more, he did not even realise when the lecture was over but he felt a peculiar tingling when Kise elbowed him softly.
"I cannot believe you were daydreaming Aominecchi."
"I was not daydreaming."
"Was it that boring? I actually found this class interesting. The curriculum looks promising too."
As he looked at the pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows, face of someone heavily concentrated on something, a face he found beautiful just like the first time he had seen it years ago, Aomine mumbled,
"It is not that boring... It's okay... I guess."
...
...
On their first day at basketball club both were directly allowed to the first string which seemed to annoy others in the team. A particularly insolent one amongst them had actually the nerve to whisper in a voice that was loud enough for all to hear:
"Aomine Daiki, fine, but even the Anna Kournikova of basketball? He is just a pretty boy copycat."
Aomine was stuck between just snorting at the comment or punching the speaker's face in. Kise gave the side glance and Aomine swallowed; everyone knew the 'side glance'. The devilish one that promised wicked play and sheer strength, the darker boy himself had been the target of the glance many times, especially when he angered Kise who was normally not easy to embitter. Aomine liked the glance by the way; both due to what it promised on the court and also for its outright magnetism. Not that he ever admitted to it.
"Why don't you play a one-on-one with this Anna Kournikova of basketball and if you can even score at all before I score ten, I'll hand my position to you?"
While Aomine smirked at the defiant arrogance of the statement, the coach was reluctant to let the charade occur, both parties were insistent though so she let it go at the end.
Then in a whirlwind of mere minutes, Kise Ryouta utterly destroyed his opponent, not allowing him a single chance at shooting, easily stealing the ball whenever the other acquired it, scoring smoothly and deliberately in fascinating ways just to stun the audience. After he scored his last point and his opponent simply lied on the ground, breathing hard and drenched in sweat due to the sheer pressure and fast-pace of the brief game, the blond hovered over and smiled at his opponent. It was not boastful, it was not arrogant, it looked innocent and nonchalant. He gave a hand and helped his teammate up then spoke to him in a clear voice devoid of any rage but perfect resolution and characteristic cheer,
"You are right though, I am actually just a pretty boy copycat. A damned good one!"
He chuckled then giving a glance at his perplexed audience, bar one tall brown boy.
"Show-off." Aomine said in an amused tone,
"Ow! But Aominecchi, I am in the showbiz after all!" the blond responded before turning to their coach,
"Coach, can I and Aominecchi use the gym after club practices? You see we have like playing one-on-ones together."
"No, I don't."
"Aominecchi! Yes, you do! You have to from now on."
"I don't have to."
"Lazy bum!"
And Aomine thought that the ridiculous pout Kise had never grown too old to don was endearing in its own quirky, cute way.
...
...
Basketball practices were more enjoyable if you had somebody who could actually take you on, Aomine re-learnt. After three years spent in Touou, though he liked the school and its team more than he ever admitted, he still had missed being able to practise against someone who could stand their ground against him.
It always made it even more intriguing whenever that person was Kise. You see, it was dandy that Akashi could stand against him but then Akashi was as perfect as human species could ever achieve to be and it was a known from the get go, it was not surprising, the gameplay was predetermined and thus... not so thrilling? Kagami was pretty good at riling him up and proved to be a sheer pleasure to play against; but he was not as interesting without Kuroko and extremely unreliable in performance, sometimes stunning, sometimes shitty, and also he had always been unrelated to Aomine. Sure there was the rivalry on the court but they did not share any link beyond the court other than their mutual love for basketball and fondness of Kuroko. Kise was different though. Because Aomine had been the one to introduce basketball to Kise, unknowingly etched the love for the game in his heart, amusedly riled him up for years and in his own way trained him (because Aomine did not know any other way to train someone but to actually play against them). It is always a peculiar race the one where the apprentice faces the master, where the admirer faces the idol. It was complicated as hell, both inside their minds and outside on the court, and somehow that thrilled Aomine.
Nevertheless, he did not entertain Kise's requests for one-on-ones as frequently as he did back in middle school nor did Kise request them as often. They still did it at least once a week though and whenever they did, it continued for hours, leaving them in a hot and sweaty mess afterwards, and soon the awkward touches started again, a brush of an elbow, a ruffle of the hair, a palm that lingers a little too long, an accidental grip that is just a tad bit too strong, unconscious leans and bumps... However, neither reacted with the urgency and anxiety they had back in the middle school, they were often indifferent in appearance and if one ever reacted in any visible way it was limited to a knowing gaze. A secret unspoken but realised, well-kept, and at times acknowledged by both.
Up-close and personal, the blond's figure had changed; during high school they only saw each other if they had a game together, or those very rare times when most of the Teikou gang gathered together for some reason, often at Kuroko's initiative. The close proximity they shared in the middle school that was lost had allowed him to overlook certain facts which became more apparent now that they spent at least half their day together every day.
Kise had grown visibly taller though a small height difference of about three centimetres was maintained; Aomine liked this for it allowed just enough difference for him to tease the blond but also enough parity to be face to face at all times. His features were as pretty as they have ever been, but they had matured compared to their middle school days; a face much more well-defined, a chin that was a bit more angular, eyes that sparked not with childish naiveté but charisma of an adult... He looked as youthful and soft and pretty as ever but not childish. His body had been the most to mature, as they walked around half naked in the changing room or ran into each other in the showers, as the blond sometimes lifted his t-shirt to swipe off his sweat during practices only to reveal his bare navel, Aomine found his eyes to wander... It was not that he did not know he could desire men, he had learnt it long ago and went through the internal panic it induced long ago; it was that how he was particularly picky about men and they rarely piqued his interest so spectacularly. Kise managed to be the exception though and Aomine felt the clutches of reborn desires on his abdomen...
It was almost on a whim when one night as they walked away from campus wrapped in darkness of the night with only moonlight and the lacking campus lighting, only a dim visual awareness provided and campus eerily silent as it often would be during those hours except the crickets' sound... Aomine felt the urge. It was not necessarily sexual but it was not necessarily non-sexual either; it was a mix of both. Perhaps it was the way Kise's hair smelt so lovely after the shower he had taken, perhaps it was how he hummed to the same stupid song he has hummed since middle school, perhaps it was how under the moonlight the blond's face shone alluringly, perhaps it was how their shoulders brushed now and then as they walked side by side and each of these accidental touches left a hot spot on his body... Whatever was the reason, his body moved closer to his side, their arms in continuous contact, and his pace slowed down to a halt soon and Kise stopped as well, turning to face his friend. There was curiosity on his face as well as reluctance and they stood there, Aomine took a step closer, their faces only inches apart and the blond did not run away, did not push him but did one thing that perhaps explained the most: he smiled. A smile that completely lacked any cheer or joy. It was sad and broken and bitter and there was only compassion and almost pity in his eyes, Aomine struggled with the implications and willed his eyes to continue staring, not blinking once, just to ensure what he was seeing was accurate.
It was accurate and even preciser than he would like. So he gulped on his spit and simultaneously Kise turned away and started walking again, each step almost dreadful and very slow, Aomine caught up in no time once he returned back to his senses and decided to not dabble in digging the matter further up for the night. As their pace stabilised again and a few minutes of awkward silence passed, Kise started talking about his boyfriend. He was mumbling and an apparent hesitation tinted all his words but he continued to talk of random things, mundane things, unnecessary things about his boyfriend and their relationship. Aomine knew Kise was gay, everybody in their Teikou group did and despite his normally overtly friendly and seemingly too honest ways, Kise rarely gave his secrets away and was very protective of his private life; you did not hear him talk about his lovers at all, though Aomine was certain the blond spilled the beans to Momoi, she always seemed closer to him in matters of heart and this irritated the ace a little if he had to admit.
He did not say anything in return and just nodded here and then and snorted here and there and by the time they were at the gates of the campus and it was time to go their own separate ways, Aomine did not say anything about the awkward pause and unexpectedly intimate moment they had had. Kise did not either.
A couple of seconds after they turned their backs to each other and started pacing on their own directions, the blond towards his apartment, Aomine towards the bus stop, he turned his head to steal a glance at Kise. The sight of his wide shoulders and back, him moving away in sluggish steps somehow prickled Aomine's heart and his palm caressed his own chest. As if a heart's aching out of yearning and loss could ever be rid with a massage...
...
...
The petite and busty brunette who had been adamantly following him everywhere in campus received a text message a few days after Aomine's failed attempt at kissing Kise. They went out the same weekend, the date was bland and uninteresting, the sex that followed was all right but somehow deeply unsatisfying. His muscles tingled with pleasure and he trembled with climax yet something felt missing and he found his mind fly away to the idea of just how would it feel to experience such moments of pleasure with Kise. Somewhat frightening and personally scandalous wet dreams of the blond from when they were middle school teammates came to his mind, very rarely he had ever pondered about the matter in high school. But here he was, drenched in sweat and saliva of another, a woman who curled up next to him naked and breathing hard and heavy, his own chest continued rising up and down as the legacy of excitement still rode his body well... and his mind was completely focused on how would it feel to have Kise curled up like that near him, how would it feel to have his hands which were much larger than this girl's on his torso, how would it feel to feel the brushing of his muscular legs to his own, how would it feel to listen to him breathing hot and heavy...
About ten minutes later when she asked about meeting sometime next week, Aomine bluntly admitted that he did not plan on seeing her again.
She threw a pillow on his face and by the time he was out of the shower she was gone, which only relieved him as guilt settled in his stomach heavy and cold. Momoi would be mad at this, just how much of a jerk he could be at times. She would also be compassionate, like a mother is towards her unruly and stupid son.
That night he went to her place instead of his own home, a desperate need for company had appeared in him (this was extremely rare) and the idea of his perpetually empty and lonely apartment felt vexing. As he lied lazily on her bed that smelled like the pomegranate citrus shower gel she adored and he secretly found nice, he mumbled idly,
"You remember how I once said that I might be into boys too?"
"Yeah..." she was still working at her desk, something about a report on Corporate Law, and her voice was a little absent-minded,
"I think I might... like Kise... Like that."
The little sounds her fast moving pen made stopped and she turned on her chair towards him,
"You do?"
"Yeah, I think so..."
"I see..."
"You see? That's it?"
"Was I supposed to be surprised?"
"I thought you would be..."
"Well, you've always treated him a little differently you know... You pick on him more yet at the same time you are unnecessarily overprotective when it comes to him. Considering how immature you are at dealing with your feelings, those mean a lot... So since the time you told me you might be into boys too, I kind of thought you had feelings for him."
"Are you for real? Jeez... You're irritating." Aomine buried his face to the pillow, it smelt even more intensely of Momoi, he did not mind it; if anything Momoi always made him feel at home, at peace.
"So?"
"So?"
"Why are you telling me this now? Something happened right?"
"Kind of. Or rather, something could happen but did not happen."
"What was it?"
"Ugh do I have to tell?"
"I mean you started talking about it..."
"Fine... I almost kissed him."
"Almost? He rejected you?"
"Not really... He just stood there and looked at me."
"And you didn't go along with it? Wow. I mean, that's a good step for you considering how impulsive you can be normally. I am a little proud actually."
"He just looked... so sad. It was as if he would let me kiss him but it would truly hurt him. So I couldn't bring myself to do it."
"But why would it hurt him if he did not refuse you? Don't tell me something else happened before? Tell me you didn't do something mean Dai-chan..."
"I did not... Kind of."
"Kind of?"
"Argh... We kissed once. In middle school."
"What?!" and Momoi dropped her metal pen to the desk out of awe, the sound and her bewilderment only further flustered Aomine who dug deeper into the pillow with his face. His voice was thoroughly muffled,
"Yeah..."
"When did this happen? Oh God... there was that one time you guys started acting even more awkward than ever and then... Like after the festival?"
"Yeah..."
"I cannot believe you!"
"It was consensual and mutual!" Aomine popped his head up and he was visibly irked at the possibility that Momoi could ever think otherwise. She looked concerned but compassionate,
"It is about that and more though. You are not vile to force someone, thank God, but you are still pretty insensitive. What happened after you guys kissed?"
"Nothing... We just never talked about it again. I don't know. I freaked out, okay? I mean I liked girls... I like women. It wasn't very easy. Plus he was shy too. I don't know... then the things with basketball happened anyway and everything went downhill... Argh."
He buried his face to the pillow again and while his sight was blinded he was able to hear the noise of the chair moving and Momoi's soft steps, the bed slightly moved under a new weight added on top of it and he felt thin, small fingers comb his short hair gently.
"Do you really like him?"
"I guess I do... Shit... I've been thinking about him a lot more than I'd like these days. Going to the same uni just screwed everything up..."
"I see... Have you tried talking to him about it?"
"I don't know... How do you even talk these things?! And fuck after the incident with almost-kiss, you know what he did? That little shit started going on and on about his 'boyfriend'... I mean he never even talks to me about his guys normally. What did it mean? 'I am taken so please stay away'? Shit."
"He actually did that? Interesting... Ah, this is bad..."
Whenever Momoi wanted to hide something or felt herself caught in a dilemma her voice would increase in pitch; it was almost inaudible to most but not to Aomine who had known her since forever.
"What?"
"Nothing..."
"You are hiding something, just spill it." he turned to his side, revealing half his face and glaring at her obviously hesitant face,
"Jeez... I mean Ki-chan is my friend but you... You are you, so... Guess I can't help this. I hope Ki-chan forgives me."
"Will you just say it?"
She glared back and her lips pursed a little,
"He is actually not doing well with his boyfriend..."
"Really? He went on and on about how he liked him."
"Well he likes him but he is terribly insecure and suspicious that he is being cheated on..."
"Are you kidding me? That jerk is cheating on him? I'll pummel that bastard."
"Yeah, no, that really would not help and we both know you are not as violent as you speak, so please."
"But how could he?! I mean Kise is... um... quite a good catch, you know."
"I know! I was so mad..."
"Hmm which means you probably investigated?"
"I wanted to! But Ki-chan was adamant that I don't... He says he does not want to hear it from somewhere else or be that kind of person – doubting, stalking kind, you know... He was saying that if he cannot establish a trust then there is no reason to continue such a relationship... Hence my surprise at him talking good about the guy to you."
"Hmm... Could it be that they resolved their shit?"
"Nah, I doubt. I just talked with him last week again and it seemed more or less the same."
"God I can't believe... this. Ah. Shit." Aomine buried his face again to the pillow; better Momoi to think of him being childish than actually witness his flushed cheeks.
She only giggled though,
"Why don't you just give him some time? And if it doesn't help, you can always talk with him... It would be better."
"Fine... Whatever."
"Just so you know, I wouldn't mind if you dated him. I think you would be a cute couple."
Aomine turned a few inches to the side such that only half his face was revealed again, his eyebrow rose in suspicion,
"Are you kidding? What 'cute'?"
"What? You don't think you guys would be cute?"
"No way. We'd be hella sexy though."
"Argh! I cannot with you... Really. You're such a dumbass!" She scolded and slapped his shoulder lightly in mock reprimand as she lifted herself up and walked back to her desk; her best friend's love worries were important but so were her studies as a law student.
"Hmm... Satsuki."
"What?" she mumbled without looking at him as she read the last few lines she wrote, one of the sentences looked a little off grammatically but she was not sure exactly how she could fix it,
"You're cool, you know."
A content smile took over her face as she set on rewriting her last paragraph, she mumbled,
"Yeah, I know. And you're welcome."
"I didn't say thank you."
"Yeah, I know."
...
...
Two weeks later on a Friday, Kise not only came to school late and missed half his classes of the day, he was also lethargic and distracted throughout the practice to the point that he got lectured four times by the coach which was double his daily average. The blond did not ask for a one-on-one and was quick to hurry off to the changing room yet struggled even to get out of his sweat drenched shorts and t-shirt. It was as if his mind was elsewhere and it was a constant trial to return his conscious back to this particular reality so that he could properly will his limbs and hands to function. Aomine watched in concern but he ensured to keep his indifferent façade as much as he could. Kise sighed more than usual and neither the usual humming nor the cutesy pouts were present.
"Kise, do you have work tomorrow?"
"Nope... Why?"
"I heard the liquor store two blocks away, near the gas station does not ask for id properly if they think the person buying looks old enough."
"So?"
"So, I think I could totally fool them."
"You got to be kidding."
"Why not? Plus your place is nearby and tomorrow I have nothing to do either. You know, we could buy snacks. Oh, I heard of this really good horror film too... You have Netflix right?"
"Yeah. This is kind of sudden though..."
"You don't want to?"
Kise looked at Aomine's face a little puzzled and a little curious and thought a bit, perhaps he was trying to ascertain some sort of hidden intent behind the offer, there was none except Aomine's desperation to make the other feel better in the only way he knew – being a friend. Well, a more decent friend than he usually was. The whole scenario he offered was a cheap knock off of what Momoi did for him whenever he was depressed, sans the alcohol of course; indeed, if she knew he was offering alcohol to Kise, she would kick his ass hard. He shook his shoulders nonchalantly though in reality it was a show of his determination to persuade Kise, as ironic as it sounded it was very logical,
"If you don't want to, that's fine, I was just bored."
"Um... Actually, you know what, why not? I mean we're almost legal too so... Let's do this!"
Aomine smirked as Kise shook his head enthusiastically as if to persuade his depressed inner self to open up. It was a little amusing and a little cute.
As he expected they were able to buy beer too, it had been exhilarating for both, much more afraid of being caught as minors than they let on, and it was a miracle in itself how obnoxiously careless the store's owner was. Snacks ready and film streaming, they tasted their first alcoholic drink and immediate reaction of both was disgust. Aomine simply glared at the can and swallowed with a frustrated face, it was Kise whose face had been a true spectacle to watch: it started with curious and excited, moved on to confused and surprised then transitioned to utterly disgusted and disturbingly scandalised and ended in an enormous duck face.
"That was horrible! Yuck! I need water. Argh!"
He ran to get water whereas Aomine dared another sip as if to show Kise that he was the maturer one,
"It is not so bad," he lied, it was evidently horrible for him as well but he had to keep up appearances, "takes some getting used to..." Or at least that was his wishful thinking. He really hoped it would be okay after some more sips because hell, he had paid some good money for the six-pack.
A bout of childish bickering and duelling later they had both emptied a can each and were already feeling a little tipsy. The film turned out to be mediocre and only mildly interesting but their intoxicated state helped them become engrossed in it better and thus turned the whole experience much more entertaining. By late night they had finished and managed to become fully drunk with two cans each and Aomine hid the left over two cans behind the fruits in the fridge, ensuring that nobody would be able to recognise them at a single glance, as though they were some legendary treasure that should not be easily discovered.
Between ramblings about the season and how they would definitely kick Kuroko and Kagami pair's ass thoroughly, even if duo was supported by that cheeky former point guard of Shuutoku now, complaints about how difficult some of their courses had become, and the busty brunette who kept coming to watch the practices only to glare at Aomine... Kise mumbled, soft and in passing, as if he was just mentioning it so that the other would note but not dwell much on it, as if it was a side note in a greater discussion and not to be paid much attention,
"He broke up with me you know..."
"Hmm... Well, his loss."
"I was planning to but I didn't have the chance. I am such a loser."
"I said it was his loss."
"You're just saying that Aominecchi..."
"Nah I'm not... I mean it. Really."
They were spent, bodies drained of any energy to even lift a finger so they looked at each other silently and in expectation but were they expecting the same things, Aomine wondered... So they looked and looked and then Kise smiled, it was small and fragile and it was the first smile he gave that whole day, at least the first sincere one, and though it was tiny and though Aomine thought it was horribly corny to be so stuck on a smile, he felt as though his heart imploded on his chest, seeing that minute smile at the tip of the blond's full lips in the dim light of the room (they had turned off the lights for the film and relied only on moonlight and TV's shining into the room for lighting).
"It is definitely his loss and my gain, damn I hope so." Aomine thought but did not dare pronounce and then Kise's golden orbs slowly lost their glint and his blinks became slower and then his eyelids stopped opening altogether. A soft snore could be heard in the silence of the room; Aomine watched in amusement and that's how he himself felt asleep on the sofa alongside his teammate – listening to the lullaby of Kise's gentle breathing and quiet snoring.
...
...
They met so rarely during the Summer Break that it had been a real torture for Aomine; only times they saw each other were indeed the club related activities. Kise had gotten better, scoring as much as Aomine in the last official game they played. At first he panicked a little thinking that the blond was deliberately keeping some distance between them, Momoi comforted him though, turns out that Kise had fully devoted himself to work, partially to forget about his loser ex-boyfriend and partially because he had not been able to do as many jobs as he would like during the term.
It was interesting how you could spend so much time away from somebody and not feel anything but then once you've formed a special kind of attachment to them even not seeing their face could smother the happiness and peace out of your day, every day. He had never thought himself to be a particularly sentimental person or a loving one really, but then Momoi had always said that inside he must be very decent and endearing that kids and animals adored him. He never really got that logic but it assured him slightly; contrary to popular opinion, he did not regard himself to be an actual jerk and would like not to be one. He was definitely arrogant and obscenely blunt but he found those qualities logical and necessary and in his mind they did not automatically translate to being a jerk; he was not wicked, all in all, and he did not wish to be wicked.
While the moments took excruciatingly long to pass, suddenly one day he realised they were near the end of August; how did the time fly by and yet also feel painfully slow? Was this what they called relativity of time? He doubted. Regardless, the last thing he expected as he made his way home from a shopping spree with Momoi was to actually find somebody at home – both his parents were away in business trips, like usual, and for all he knew his house would be as empty and dull as ever. It turned out not to be the case at all: instead all his teammates from Teikou, a few of the guys from Touou, and a couple of his buddies from the university were there. Confetti and cake and the loud, extremely cacophonous "Happy Birthday!" shout – all the standard fare you'd see in films and TV shows. Wow, he thought, as he heard the high pitched barking, even the dog is here.
Momoi came a second later from his behind and hugged him tight (or at least as much as she could with the sheer difference in size they had), her voice sounded the sweetest to him,
"Happy Birthday Dai-chan!"
It was unnecessary and he even openly said it – "Well this was unnecessary..." – but he was eternally grateful inside as, hell, it was definitely better than spending his birthday alone at home watching anime; there was free pizza and lots of snacks, Kagami was amazingly fun to tease and rile up, and Kise was there too...
"I hope you like it." the blond said later in the night, his face alight with enthusiasm and anxiety as he gave the small box to Aomine. They were in kitchen and alone, hour was late and half the people had already gone home, Aomine was not sure why Kise had not given his gift alongside others earlier and had initially thought Kise was not going to give one, which was odd given the blond's personality but honestly he did not care; he would not mind not receiving any present from Kise, all he wanted was his presence, really, which he thought was so goddamn uncharacteristic and mushy of him but hey, as long as nobody knew of these feelings but him, it was okay, right?
It turned out to be a watch. A silver coloured one with navy blue accents and a bit large in size like most men's watches were. Considering Aomine was chronically lazy and drastically lacked any punctuality, the gift could either be defined as a 'very good' choice or a 'very bad' choice.
"Are you trying to say something to me? You know, I've been coming on time to the practices..."
Kise snorted at that,
"You've been coming on time to the practices only half the time... But to be honest it had nothing to do with your astounding failure at punctuality."
"What is it about then? Why a watch? It seems expensive."
"Well it is expensive but I earn enough, so... I just... I thought it would look good on you."
A memory crept up and he remembered how once in middle school Kise had helped Momoi buy a t-shirt for Kuroko; it was a white one with blue stripes and looked like a sailor's outfit. It was a brand-name product apparently and had cost her quite a bit, he had teased her relentlessly for it but once fed up she had yelled,
"I just wanted to see him, for him to look good in something I gave him, I know it is silly but it makes me happy..."
It would be too much wishful thinking to assume a similar scenario here, but would it hurt to think of it as such? It wouldn't hurt anybody if he thought it as such and kept his thoughts to himself, right?
So he smiled and ruffled Kise's hair, which earned him a signature pout and the sight accelerated his heartbeat a bit.
"Thank you. It looks good." he said, his voice sincere and calm – his soul was not at all and he was surprised at his own fake nonchalance, perhaps he was maturing a bit. Kise blushed then, this perfect shade of pink invaded his face and ears and Aomine wondered, prayed, hoped... that maybe, just maybe.
Then a loud yell informed them of just what the hell was taking them so long to get more glasses from the kitchen. Kise chuckled awkwardly and rushed to the living room with glasses in his hands.
...
...
"It can't be! Man she was such a babe too!"
"I know! One wonders how such a busty blond is you know, lesbian. I mean I thought lesbians were all butch..."
"Isn't it like a manga? But just the reverse? Manager slash captain thing I mean? This feels fake to me."
"No man, somebody actually saw them, kissing."
"Girls sometimes can be very touchy feely with each other ya know?"
"Nah, they were kissing like full-on mouth action; tongues and heavy breathing and groping."
"Oh shit, that's hot."
A basketball flew fast and strong towards the small crowd of three young men, their chatter instantly shattered with the momentum of the orange ball which struck the ground with a loud noise.
"My bad," the blond said, grabbing the ball yet there was a flicker of disdain in his eyes that he did not care to hide, "were you taking a break? You will never make it to the first string if you are so flippant about basketball."
His voice was uncharacteristically cold and sterile that it perplexed its audience.
"Uh, we were just–"
"Gossiping? I don't think it will help you on the court." Kise flashed a smile very rarely seen on his face; a perfect sneer that pronounced contempt without any need for actual words or sounds. He did not wait for the trio to respond and simply ran back towards the court, all the while Aomine watched him from afar with concern.
They all went to dinner with the team that evening after their manager's insistence, something about team bonding that they were lacking and what not... Aomine sincerely wished they had not.
The problem was that two girls from the university's second most famous sports team after male's basketball, the female's volleyball were recently outed. The team's manager, who was a beautiful third year sought after by many men, and the petite and shy second year libero were caught kissing behind the third gym's building... Somehow, it became a big issue; both girls were even called to some private meetings with the coach and the head of the varsity teams committee. They haven't been seen in the campus for days now and rumours were galore. While most were either scandalised or utterly curious and lecherously gleeful about the whole affair, Kise seemed to be perturbed and upset. The blond had always been a sensitive person in the first place and regarded matters of heart with a lot of gravity, there was also the unnerving aspect of such forceful outing and perhaps he felt some sort of solidarity or at least a deeper empathy due to that? Sure, he had long come out of the closet with his close friends but Aomine had caught on to the fact that this had been rather a privilege the blond bestowed upon them for being close to him rather than part of a public declaration. Most people, notably his horde of fans most of whom were female, had absolutely no idea and the tan boy could understand why Kise preferred to keep it a secret from the public. Especially so considering the awful treatment the poor girls from the volleyball team had been getting. The sheer pressure, endless scrutiny, constant disdain, and selfish mockery were so unsettling that Aomine himself felt upset, he did not how two girls dealt with it, or rest of the team as well; it seemed people sprouted all kinds of rumours and lies about the whole female's volleyball team.
He has forever been indifferent to his surroundings, other people did not interest him in general and he found himself very much apathetic to most except his dear friends. Still, the situation irritated him; there was a special viciousness in the particular ways people attacked these young women. He felt particularly disturbed at people talking graphically about hypothetical most intimate moments of someone as mere fodder for their own self-satisfaction and frustrated libido. This continuous interrogation or judgement of a person's character solely based on the person they liked? It did not make any sense to Aomine and he found it profoundly wrong and wicked. He himself had never paid much thought to his own identity, never truly tried to hide or expose it in the first place. However, seeing what was being unfolded in front of him as well the general importance of privacy, he understood the gravity of the situation, of being outed so despicably... Then the idea of Kise being outed in such an unfair manner came to his mind. The possibility (and there definitely was a possibility) sickened him to his stomach and he lost his appetite in the middle of dinner, his eyes found Kise's honey orbs purposefully glaring at his own plate as if to block out all the chatter going on around him that centred around the two female lovers.
"You know, I'm thinking, that shortie? No way she could have seduced the babe right? It must have been the other way around. I bet that little girl, I mean she's so cute and timid and innocent, no way she was touched before ya know. Must have been why she fell victim."
"Yeah, if only she had been with men before, she would never, I'm sure too. May be I should try her when she comes back to the campus? Short brunettes are totally my type. Oh man, I'd love to do her and I'm sure she would never look for any girl afterwards..."
Kise's eyes widened in disgusted shocked and his face went visibly sour and angry, his lower lip shaking involuntarily out of fury, he was about to stand up when Aomine hit his fist to the table.
"Okay, you know what, that's enough."
"Huh?"
Everyone's attention turned to the power forward, including Kise's which was a mixture of surprise and curiosity though his discomfort due to the whole situation was still evident in his firmly fisted hands resting on the table.
"All I'm saying is," Aomine took a pause to recline on his chair as his teammates stared at him, "if you are so goddamn pathetic to think that sleeping with you, or with any man for that matter, would turn a lesbian and make them into men, then you really deserve to be castrated so that your genes don't carry on."
There was not an ounce of humour or amusement in his face, he gazed straight into eyes of the second year who had uttered the vile comment, he had not even blinked as he pronounced every syllable with gravitas in his characteristic low voice.
He was serious.
"What?! I am your senpai!"
"Yeah, not a decent human being though."
The older man upset, stood up abruptly,
"You cannot talk shit to me like that! You think you are all something because you are good at basketball!"
"I am also good at punching people's faces in, but I prefer not to. I don't think you would want that either senpai, so calm the fuck down."
The older man stared, eyes full of fury and his mouth opened to speak but then shut; Aomine had a much larger build than him and a murderous gaze.
"Insolent bastard..." he murmured as he took his bag and turned to leave,
"Don't forget to pay your tab." Aomine yelled from behind.
"Um, Aomine-san, don't you think that was a bit harsh?" one of the other freshmen mumbled a little shyly only to be the next target of the darker boy's piercing gaze,
"No it was not. He deserves worse for talking crap like that."
"Why are you so angry about this? It's not like you knew any of those girls."
"I don't have to know them to know spewing bullshit and gossiping obsessively about them 24/7 is creepy and obnoxious as fuck."
"Wow never thought you were so chivalrous."
"I am not chivalrous, I am just not a pathetic loser."
It was almost as if a cold breeze had taken over the room, though it would be true for the outside, October had already arrived with all its chilly nights, the restaurant was quite hot and crowded and noisy, to the point that no other patrons had even batted an eyelash to the ongoings of their table. Still, for their own company it seemed as though time had stopped and air frozen.
Kise's eyes glinted with evident respect and amusement at Aomine and this swelled the ace's heart so much, he felt his appetite return. He started eating again to the surprise of his teammates and a silent giggle of Kise; they had been all vexed by just how serious Aomine had been in chiding them and was so nonchalantly eating now despite the obvious awkwardness.
One of the third years, a particularly apologetic one, finally commented much characteristically and timidly to break the ice so to speak,
"Aomine-kun, could it be that you perhaps had a crush one of those girls?"
Aomine shrugged indifferently as he munched on his katsudon, "Nope."
The gesture and the answer seemed to bring them back to a livelier mood, at least the eerie silence left and some returned back to eating, including Kise finally – he had spent most of his time not eating but just playing with his noodles till then.
It was then someone commented passingly,
"Hmm, thought busty girls were your type though, Aomine-san?"
"Yeah but that doesn't mean I like any girl just because they are busty."
"I remember you saying so once, Aominecchi." Kise chimed in, some colour had returned back to his complexion though his hand was gripping the side of the table awkwardly, which Aomine interpreted as feeling better but not yet secure or calm. It was both endearing and saddening for him; a sudden yearning to just grab the blond by the wrist and take him away from the stupid gathering came to his mind, he hurried it away. He did not have to be so protective, did he? Nor could he ever show his affection as such, given their predicament and more importantly the unrequited nature of his feelings...
"I was a brat guided by his hormones, so what? Everyone's like that at that age."
This earned him another silent giggle, which warmed his heart again; these fuzzy and joyful things his heart was doing, he was almost used to them by now despite how alien they had felt early on. Now, on the contrary, he wished to be able to express them a bit more... He really wanted to hold Kise's hand now, it seemed to grip to table as before but it was as if it was pulling Aomine's heartstrings.
"So if you don't just go for breasts, what do you go for Aomine-san? One wonders what kind of a girl you would like."
A thought occurred to him. He paused to think though his mouth continued chewing as such his audience probably thought that he was just trying to finish his mouthful of food before speaking; in reality he was quickly gauging in his mind if he really had the guts to say the thing he thought to say... Or did he really want to say it in the first place? God, this was tough. How did Kise do this all this time? It must have sucked.
He was not like Kise though; his attitude towards life had often been a big, aggressive, angst filled 'fuck you' and he was not planning to change it now. Plus, it would be fun to see their reactions... right?
Perhaps he was being childish, perhaps he would regret it the next day, but many "perhaps"es that accumulated could not contain the impulsive determination that had taken over his mind.
"There are many things I guess... Don't know. Anyway, the person I like right now is not a woman. He's a guy."
Kise chocked on his food and the timing of his urgent reaction would have raised some eyebrows if similar reactions had not happened amongst many others sitting at the same table. Mouths gaped, eyes widened, a few people rushed to drink water as they continued coughing, and for his part Kise looked completely scandalised and dumbfounded.
Aomine wanted to grin, so desperately, so assuringly, so smugly. It was wrong too and stupid and now that he had said this shit that he would never be able to take it back and God knows what the heck would it cause him tomorrow... Maybe people would spew all sorts of crap like they did for those girls. But somehow, for that moment, he did not care. He did not care at all as Kise's tight grip on the table loosed as his arm moved towards the other and he sat there, in surprise and confusion, his arm across his chest in an unconscious defensive stance...
Aomine did not grin for it would give away everything, he just continued eating his food nonchalantly.
"Uh... Hah... Hahaha. Well that was a funny one Aomine-san." the culprit who had brought up the subject and question spoke. "This has to be a joke" was the common agreement across the table, apparently, Aomine did not care.
"You think I'm joking?" he asked unperturbed as he finished eating the last piece of meat left.
"It... is not?"
"It is not a joke. Why would I joke about something like that?"
A sudden awkward silence befell the table again then and only moments later one of them commented timidly,
"You mean... Aomine-san, you are gay?"
"I am bi, I think. Not that it is any of your business."
"No it is not but I mean..."
"You mean what? Do you have a problem with it?"
He reclined to the chair again and let his eyes wander around, passing each and every one of his teammates, scrutinising their faces now utterly surprised and unable to say anything, before he spoke again with a clear tone that was not threatening but felt heavier than any threat,
"Does any of you have a problem with it?"
Some looked at the others shyly, others stared at their food, some just looked away in escape, nobody dared say anything; it was not that there was a tone of brutal threats, they were simply shaken with the revelation and honestly, Aomine found this to be completely stupid in itself: what was it to them who he wanted to sleep with was that they would feel so anxious and unnerved hearing of it?
"I think I'll just go home..." the apologetic third year said, he was the first one to run away. Almost literally too, he was gone in mere seconds. The others soon followed and all that left of their boisterous table of ten minutes ago were Kise and Aomine.
After a long pause the blond cleared his throat and spoke,
"Were you serious?"
"You too? Why would I joke about something like that?"
"I don't know... I just... Why?"
"Why?"
"Why did you tell them?"
"So you are more surprised that I said it than that it is true?"
"Well... I always thought of you as straight but Momocchi always said you were not as straight as you seem to be."
"Seem? I don't think you can tell these kind of things from looks..."
"No, I mean... the things you talk about you know. Breasts and stuff..."
"Oh... Well as I said–"
"Bisexual. Yeah, I get it, you like women too. Anyway, I am not that surprised of that... I guess."
"For reasons... that you don't want to mention?"
Till that moment Kise had been playing with his food as he talked in murmurs, that question lifted his head up though. He stared at Aomine for a few seconds, wordless and in search of something that the dark boy had no idea what... He smiled then. It was not sad, it was not happy, it was a strange little smile. Aomine had no idea what, and this agitated him.
"So, why? Why did you confess it to them?"
"I don't think it was a confession, they asked about it and I said it. I don't think it is a big deal."
"But it is a big deal! You saw it yourself, how they treated those girls. Do you think people will just let it go and treat you the same as before?"
"They probably won't. So what? If they are that flimsy, I don't need them around me anyway."
"But... What if the school hears? What if your family hears?"
"And what about it? Will they worry over me? I'll tell school to go fuck itself because it has no authority over who I sleep with. My family? Which one? The one who has always been absent? Plus, trust me, they are so indifferent they probably would only panic for a week or so and then return to their routine always outside-at-work schedule."
Kise sighed.
"Do you really not care?"
"Maybe I do. But there are other things I care more about..."
The blond gave a bitter snicker at that which pierced Aomine's chest like a cruel dagger...
"Is that so?" he asked sarcastically as he reached for his bag, it was obvious that he was getting ready to leave and the Aomine desperately and doubtlessly wanted to stop him but knew stopping him now would only upset the blond more. He swallowed the urgency of that desire.
"Yes."
"Like what?"
"Like... like... shit, like how I feel. Okay? Like the person I like."
"Really?"
"Yes!"
"Jeez... Aominecchi, I wonder, who is this lucky person?"
"You know who."
"Do I?"
There was almost a challenge in the way Kise's eyes shone, bright and unyielding, he looked Aomine straight in the eye.
He should have told it years ago when their lips embraced each other in the cover of the night and shine of the moon.
He should have told it years ago that night when he felt a tingling sensation overcome every part of his body and desired to hold Kise so strongly and tightly in his grip yet also only caress him ever so softly lest he break, for that moment had felt so fragile, and Aomine himself had felt so fragile...
He should have told it years ago that night when he realised that yes, he loved this boy, something deep inside him had been aware and telling too but he had just ignored it so forcefully for a myriad of reasons none of which made sense to him now and he did not understand why he had never tried it again, why he had to leave, why he had to stand at a distance afterwards...
All the reasons seemed minuscule and irrelevant yet he took such a long pause unknowingly that Kise's face warped as if he had eaten something unbearably sour and he was about to turn away when Aomine said in a lucid voice,
"I like you. I like you, Kise."
The eyes that were so challenging before tamed into a peaceful comprehension and the blond's face was visibly relieved, but he did not say anything, he did not smile, he did not chuckle, he did not scowl or frown either.
Suddenly, Aomine felt fragile again. Yet Kise in front of him did not feel or seem fragile at all this time; perhaps his golden gaze was not challenging him to a duel any more but he looked as unyielding as he did moments ago...
He did not say anything, simply stared for a few seconds then nodded and the Aomine would spend days later wondering about just what the hell that nod meant. For that moment though, he could not even speak or think anything apart from the direful realisation of his own fragility, of his own sincerity, of his own foolish courage...
He had finally put himself out there in the open... and Kise chose not to comment.
In silence the blond turned to leave moments later and murmured a barely audible "good night" as he was about to move away and his pace was quick but not quicker than Aomine's final words for the night:
"Kise... I have always liked you."