A Killing Comes to Kuoh! Murder on the Occult Research Club!

by sirvictor

Rias Gremory, The Devil He Cherished For Years, Has been Mysteriously Assasinated, Much to his Fury. The Year is 9904. Issei Has Become a Harem King. This Fan Fiction, Independently written by British Film Tycoon Victor Rockatansky, is a Noir Style take on High School DxD, to Promote a Silent Film Continuing High School DXD Titled "They Stole Gremory's Soul!". Be Sure to Comment!

A Killing Comes to Kuoh: Murder on the Occult Research Club

By Victor Rockatansky

Based On "They Saved Hitler's Brain" By David Bradley

Disclaimer: I do not own the properties mentioned within this story, though Financial donations would be Greatly Appreciated

Table of Contents:

Chapter 1: The Interrogation

Chapter 2: Following in Raynare's Scattered Feathers

Chapter 3: Return to the Museum

Chapter 4: To Shatter an Alliance

Chapter 5: A Reality Makeover

Chapter 6: Finding the Rebels

Chapter 7: The Briefing

Chapter 8: A Visit to the Church

Chapter 9: Contrition

Chapter 10: A Heretic, Discovered

Chapter 11: The Offering

Chapter 12: The Gamble

Chapter 13: Infiltrating the Inner Circle

Chapter 14: Issei vs Baraquiel

Chapter 15: Issei vs Freed

Chapter 16: Issei vs Raynare

Chapter 17: An Unexpected Surprise

Chapter 18: Epilogue

Chapter 1: The Interrogation

Visiting the Old School Building, Harem King Issei Hyodo Returns from an Ill-Timed Orgy to discover the

Body of a Tall Voluptuous Devil Maiden with a Large Bosom, Crimson Red Hair, Wearing a Victorian Style

Dress with tear marks in the Torso Area, Waist, Back, and Skirt. Issei Gripped his cherished Master in his

palms, and in a desperate attempt to Force her awake, suckled on her soft, supple Nipples, but after

approximately 10 seconds straight, Issei Said in an increasingly loud, melancholy, almost hysterical voice

"President? My Queen? What's wrong with you? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" as he removed his Regal

Crown, in horror, gazing at His Master's Flaccid, Deceased Corpse. Meanwhile, His High School Friends,

Matsuda and Motohama, are on the Verge of being beaten to a pulp by 2 Furious Schoolgirls. One

named "Katase", and the other named "Murayama", Bamboo Swords at the Ready, when all of a

sudden, they are interrupted by the telltale Arrival of Issei, dressed in a Tattered, Ill-fitting Puffy, White

Fencing Shirt, Black Leather Dress Trousers, his old School Shoes from years ago, worn out in

appearance. White Cloth Suit Gloves, torn at the knuckles and fingertips, with mud marks on his lower

face, with his Boosted Gear in Hand, snarling as he Lumbered toward them. "HEY!" Shouted Issei,

Furiously. "What Happened to Rias?! TALK!" as he revealed her corpse behind his back, and Struck the

Girls Hard in the Chests. "W-We Don't Know!" Matsuda Shivered in fear. "We were just about to punish

your perverted friends." Said Katase. "When all of a sudden, BAM!" out went the lights." Murayama

Exclaimed in fear. "Let's see…. what did prez tell me about interrogation again?" Thought Issei. He

suddenly had a flashback of his Former Master Teaching him to interrogate an enemy. Issei noticed Rias

with a Shrewd Grin telling him "Rule number 1: Never let the enemy control the conversation. Get them

talking, then surprise them, freak them out, call them liars, or Interrupt them with a question, and if all

else fails, Persuade them. Rule Number 2: Timing is Everything. When you catch the enemy lying, that's

when you jump in and accuse them. Rule Number 3: Humans are easy. In order to crack members from

the various factions, you'll need information to prove your case. Sometimes, you have to ask around, to

get dirt on the doers. Now Get out there, and make me proud." The Memory Dissipated, and then

Motohama explained "Yeah, we heard it, too, only I think It was more like a "SHABANG", really." "That

Kind of Crap Makes My Friend Here Angry, Brother!" Yelled Issei as he raised his Boosted Gear Above his

Head, as if preparing to Punch someone. "Go ahead, Put us out of our misery. We're sad enough as it is."

Sobbed Matsuda. "Too Easy! Keep Talking!" Issei Replied. "Well, That's the Last Thing We Remember,

until you Interrupted our Beatdown and Started Snarling at us." Said Katase, Nonchalantly. "Nope. We

Don't Remember Anything Else. That's the last thing we remember. We were focused on changing into

our gym clothes and punishing the pervs for peeping on us, the whole time." "We don't know anything

else, nosireebob" Murayama Said, in an Obviously Nonchalant Tone. "Now all I can see, is Rias' corpse

staring blankly at the sky, asking "Why?" Said Issei, In a Gloomy Voice. "Oooooooookayyyyyyyy, you

obviously have some girlfriend troubles to sort out, and we have a sadistic punishment to lay down, so,

can we go now?" Asked Katase, casually. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what happened to Rias!" Issei

Yelled, in Response. "I Already told you. We don't Remember anything else." Katase explained. "You

Dirty, Violent LIAR!" Issei Shouted. "All Right, All Right! We were peeking on Katase and Murayama,

when we heard a weird noise, caused by a Tall, sexy girl wearing Black, Skin Tight Gloves and boots,

Provocative looking black leather, with Jet-Black Hair, Purple eyes, with silver rings on her fingers, with a

pair of black, feathery wings, possibly killing Rias!" "Katase! Why didn't you punish her?!" Murayama

Said in a scolding tone, as she slapped Katase across the face. "I was…afraid!" sobbed Katase. "Afraid of

What?" asked Murayama, confused. "Afraid that she'd kill me, too!". "Hmph. Makes sense." Said

Murayama. "WHO?! WHO KILLED RIAS!?" Screamed Issei, Angrily. "I guess you'd call it a "Fallen Angel".

Said Motohama, in a confused tone. "Raynare." Muttered Issei. "Who?", asked Matsuda. "Yuuma

Amano" Explained Issei, with his hand over his face, as if facepalming. "She's real after all?" asked

Motohama. "Yeah", assured Matsuda. "Holy Fucking Shit." Motohama Exclaimed in Surprise. "We're so

sorry for spreading rumors about you." "Rumors, Schmumors". Issei Grumbled "Leave us alone, and we'll

reduce the punishment to warnings, okay?" Katase proposed, with a frightened look on her face. "I

appreciate your offer, but you're not half as sorry as that bitch is going to be when I catch up to her". "In

other words…." Said Murayama, confused. "It's a Deal." Said Issei. Issei Turned his back, and Trooped off

to Find Someone who might know something. "Raynare. I Should've Known. I Thought She was Dead. She

Must Have Played Possum on us all those years ago. The Last time I Fought her, I did out of Fury when She

Killed Asia. She Wanted that "Twilight Healing", Ever Since She Found out it was Special. Now that Special

Sacred Gear was gone, and Now I'm cut loose, again, drifting down the streets, hoping for a lucky break"

Thought Issei. After Walking for 28 Minutes Straight, walking to where the Entrance to the Mall district

was, seeing Baraquiel, the Father of the Former Vice President of the Occult Research Club, Akeno

Hinejima. "Hel-LO Ugly" Muttered Issei, with Baraquiel in his sights, as he advanced toward him. "YOU!

You're one of Raynare's Flunkies! Where's your Leader?! What Did She Do to My Master?!" Yelled Issei,

as he Swung His Boosted Gear Armed Hand in an Inverted Arc, which connected with Baraquiel's Nose. "I

Do Not Know. I Have Not Seen Her Since YOU Unjustly Dispatched Her. I will Never Forget her Final,

Terrifying, Agonized Howl." Said Baraquiel. "Unjustly? Yeah, Right. When we Get Down to it, we all

Deserve to Die. You, me, the Guy who Delivers Your Sushi, all of us, Bubbling Over with Sin and

Corruption." Said Issei, Gloomily. "Is there a point to this, or are you going on a depressing tangent?"

Asked Baraquiel. "Sorry. Just Thinking out Loud. WHERE WERE WE?!" Issei Answered "After Her

Disappearance, I Re-Evaluated my Life Choices.". "Re-Evaluated Your Life Choices?! What does that Even

Mean?!". Asked Issei furiously. "I Abandoned her Clan of Warriors, as a Lone Wolf. Honestly, is There

Anything Worse than a Middle Aged Fallen Angel Conjuring Lightning Everywhere, like Some Sort of

Teenager?" Asked Baraquiel. "How About a Dead Master?!" Answered Issei. "Raynare's Defeat years ago

made me take a Thorough Look at Myself. Now I'm one of the Leaders of the Factions, A Friend in The

City, and a Beautiful Daughter in the Academies, and I do not Even have to Hurt Anything." Baraquiel

Continued. "How Nice for You." Issei Replied, Giving Baraquiel the Cold Shoulder. "But Enough About me,

You Should Talk to my Friend About it.". Concluded Baraquiel. "Friend?! What Friend?!" Asked Issei,

as He Punched Baraquiel in the Jaw. "Azazel. Don't you remember? He was your Sensei." Said Baraquiel,

Reminding Issei. "Where Can I Find Him?!" Asked Issei. "He Should be in his Apartment, in the Village past

here." Answered Baraquiel. Issei Growled as he Left the Mall District, and Walked towards a familiar

apartment Building. "Azazel. Just the Thought of him being involved in this unpleasant scene 's giving me

an Icky taste in my tongue and an Itchy sensation in my Boxers. Either Way, there isn't a Fallen Angel More

Plugged in, to the Greasy Dives in this town", Thought Issei, as He entered the Lobby of the Apartment

building and searched High and Low. He Searched the Apartment Building's Pool Area, Dining Room,

Kitchen, Laundromat, Underground Parking Garage, and Presidential Suite, before Searching the

Apartments, themselves. Kicking the Door Down, upon finding Azazel's Apartment, He Confronted his

former Sensei. Issei Got Azazel's Attention, by bumping into his couch, which sent him running away and

tripping onto the ground, before being cornered in the Apartment Kitchen Area. "Hello, "Sensei"." Said

Issei, as if Giving the Cold Shoulder. "Well, if it isn't Issei Hyodo. I haven't seen you in years" Azazel Said,

With a Knowing Smile. "Rias has been killed and a certain Friend of yours tells me that you might know

something about it." Yelled Issei. "Killed, huh? I think I recall…SOMETHING about that." Azazel Responded.

"SPILL!" Yelled Issei, Tweaking Azazel's Nose. "I Was Giving Directions to a Confused Tourist. The poor guy

was wandering around in circles, scaring everyone with her weird, human expressions."

Azazel Said. "The World's Full of Lost Souls, and the Shepherds are only leading them to the

Slaughterhouse." Said Issei. Gloomily. "Are you going to let me finish, or are you going to go on with

your gloomy soliloquy?" Asked Azazel. "Sorry, got lost in the moment. WHERE WERE WE?!" Answered

Issei. "I was Almost done Helping the Tourist, when All of a sudden, that Backstabbing Raynare, who

decided to kill you rather than spy on you, like I asked her to, Soared through the Air, chasing after an

Oddly-Dressed, Rogue Priest. We Ducked behind cover with Baraquiel, until the Scuffle moved on, down

the street." "So Baraquiel DID See Raynare!" Issei Said in shock "That's all I Know about the Traitor Who

Killed Rias." Explained Azazel. "Sure. Hide behind your old, moldy, dusty, dirty, flea-ridden, ill-suited

Couch and wait for someone else to do something, but one day, the fight will come back and stain your

nice, Black wings with the blood of anyone who gets in the way.", Said Issei. "that sounds sad." Said

Azazel. "But Where did you send the tourist?!" Asked Issei Admonishingly. "Over that way, 2 miles to

your neighborhood.". Answered Azazel. "Stick Around-I Might Come Back and Have more Questions

Later." Said Issei, Warning his former Sensei-of-sorts. "I'll Count the Minutes.", Replied Azazel.

Issei Left the Apartment and continued walking down the streets where Azazel led him. "Azazel Helping

a Human? That's Weird. Weird like The Prez, back when She Was Still Alive. What was the Tourist's

name again? Susan? Yes, Susan.", Thought Issei. When he found his way to the path's end, he was in

complete shock, when he discovered, that Azazel had double-crossed Issei, along with the American.

Meanwhile, in a Dark Alley, An American Girl wearing naught but a Bra, Pantyhose, and a nylon stocking,

with her body covered by a Bathrobe Muttered a Japanese Soliloquy to herself, as she walked to where

her recently procured directions led her. Issei Lumbered towards the American, and Shouted "You!

Foreigner! What's your Story?!" Yelled Issei. With a Shrewd Grin, Susan Replied "A Thrilling Shakedown!

How Exciting!". "Yeah, Yeah, It's a Real Honor, Now What do you know!?". Issei Yelled, uncovering her

chest and squeezing her nipples, in an attempt to force her to confess. "Well…1 Hour ago, I was getting

directions to the Museum District from a Strange man with Black, Feathered Wings." Susan Responded,

groaning in pain. "And Azazel Sent You Here?!" Issei Asked in Surprise, as he released her nipples, and

Susan nodded in fear. "That Greasy, Double-Crossing Snake." Issei Grumbled. "Back in America, I had

warnings about Devils, Angels, and Fallen Angels in this town. But this "Azazel" Guy was so Helpful." Issei

Growled and Aimed his Boosted Gear, with a Clenched Fist. "Is that a Part from a Suit of Armor?

Fascinating! I've never seen that one before, you know." Susan said, in response, "I was just about to

give him a tip for helping me, when all of a sudden, a Blitzkrieg Erupted in one of the Asphalt fjords. At

Least I THINK it was a Blitzkrieg, but maybe more like a Sortie.". "Blitzkricallitwhatnow?!" Yelled Issei, in

a confused, yet Angry tone. "Blitzkrieg. My People's word for "A Stunning Battle between 2 Opposing

sides". Susan Responded. "A Hard Rain's Coming, Pallie, and When it does, You'll wish you were only in a

Blitzkrieg.". Issei Said, Gloomily. "That's so sad, but Something must be wrong in the translation.

Anyhow, After the Fight Moved On, I noticed woke up, noticing that Someone Had Stolen my Clothes,

leaving me Perplexed in the scene of the aftermath, and do you know what else? I'm starting to think

that this isn't actually the Museum District. Maybe I'm getting false leads" Susan Responded.

"WHAT?!" Issei Asked Susan. "Perplexed. It's a common American word describing a feeling of mild

disorientation, combined with nagging embarrassment. Honestly, What DO They teach you in your

Japanese Schools?", Susan Replied. "VIDEO POKER!" Issei Replied. "Anyway, What Else would you like to

know?" Susan Asked. Issei left, raising his right hand, pointing downwards, signalling her to not go

anywhere. "Jeez, Japanese People are so Intense.". "Susan Just Seems like just another victim, circling

the drain, but there's gotta be more to the story than that. Time to circle back and Flush out the Truth.

Let's See…Azazel-Sensei Lied to Me About Helping Susan, and I Hate When Bastards Lie to me."

Issei thought, as he returned to Azazel's Apartment. Issei Confronted Azazel and Yelled "Sensei! What do

you Know?!". "Like I said, I was giving directions to a Tourist." Azazel said, Nonchalantly. "To The

Museum District?!" Asked Issei. Azazel Nodded "Don't give me that Crap, Sensei. I talked to your tourist

and it looks like you sent her to the wrong side of town." Issei Yelled. "Maybe I did, Maybe I didn't.

Either way, this conversation is over. I'm not saying anymore until I get some legal representation from

Sirzechs, or Serafall. The Nerve of some Devils, cramping an Honest Fallen Angel's Rights. I'm thinking

about Having a Law Forbidding the maltreatment of factions in any way whatsoever, or something.

"Talk!" Order Issei, as he Snapped Azazel's Nose. "Didn't you Hear me the First Time? I'm not Saying

Anymore, without Legal Representation, and there's nothing you can do to make me talk. I'm Pleading

the fifth, maybe even the sixth. Whatever it is, I'm Pleading it, and No Devil's going to stop me." replied

Azazel. "CONFESS!" Admonished Issei, As He Yanked Azazel by the Wings Violently. "Attica! Attica! I'm

Being Repressed! Where's the Landlord When I need him?", Azazel Yelled Loudly. "YOU WANT LEGAL

REPRESENTATION?! HERE'S AN ATTORNEY FROM DDRAIG!", Yelled Issei, as He Readied his Boosted

Gear. "All Right, All Right. You've Forced Me to Come Clean. Like You Said, I led her to the slums of the

city, but I was just Double Crossing Her. If You Ask Me, the Poor Yank deserved it. Acting all Alluring and

Attractive, with her exhibitionism, wearing her revealing underwear." Azazel Answered. "WHAT DID

YOU JUST SAY?! Yelled Issei. "The Slums. As in The Bad Side of Town. Anyway, I didn't lie about

hiding from the big fight, and I Stole from the Tourist, and My Own Friend. The Tourist found herself a

souvenir from the fight, and then You interrupted my Rest, and started threatening me with questions.

That's it. That's all I Know. Ask Anyone. If they know what's good for them, they will vouch for me."

Replied Azazel. "Souvenir?!" Yelled Issei, in shock. "Yeah. Something fell out of the priest's pocket, and

the Tourist picked it up." Replied Azazel. "What Was It?!" Asked Issei. "I'm Not Sure, to be Honest."

Answered Azazel. "So the Tourist DIDN'T leave empty handed After All!". "So, what Happens Now?"

Asked Azazel. Issei Left the Apartment. "And I Thought We Could Trust Each Other." Azazel Muttered to

Himself. "There's nothing left for me in here. Nothing but a Slanderizing, Lying, Double Crossing Fallen

Angel. Also, it wreaks of Rotten Udon noodles, and Sulfur Crystals in the building. Baraquiel Lied to me

About Not Seeing Raynare. I Wonder What Else He's Lying About. The Fact that Azazel-Sensei Decided to

Shut Up, reminds me of Koneko-Chan, who was usually quiet, and cool-headed. That Dumb, Old Fogey

Thinks His Life's About to take a Turn for the Better, But I Know that the only turns in life take you the

Wrong Way Down a Waystation to Nowhere-Where U-Turns Aren't Allowed Before 8PM except City

Buses." Issei Thought, as he returned to The Shopping District, to confront Baraquiel. "I'm Back! Now

Where's Raynare?!" Yelled Issei. "I Told You, I Haven't Seen Her Since her Defeat, Years ago." Replied

Baraquiel. With his Boosted Gear at the Ready, Issei Growled, and Yelled "That Story Ain't Gonna Wash,

Bonzo! Your Friend, Azazel, told me about how you and him hid behind cover, witnessing a scuffle

Between Raynare and some other Priest! NOW MAKE WITH THE LIP-FLAPPING AND I'D BETTER LIKE

WHAT I HEAR!" Issei Yelled at the top of his Lungs. "Are You Trying to Threaten Me with That?" Asked

Baraquiel. "Maybe." Replied Issei. "You DO Realize That I am Too Fast to be Defeated by a Lowly Twice

Critical, Correct? Twice Nothing is Still Nothing." Baraquiel Replied. "Oh. I Forgot. WHERE WERE WE?!"

Issei Responded, Clenching his Fist Harder. "It's True. 3 Human Minutes Ago, I was Talking with Azazel,

whom I have not seen in many years, When Raynare Soared Down the Street, Chasing after a Strangely-

Garbed Priest." Baraquiel Explained. I would have Retaliated, but for Obvious reasons, I am Averse to

Light Spears-I am an Electromancer sort of Fallen Angel, so, to my everlasting shame, Azazel and I Ran

for His Apartment and Hid Behind his Couch, as Raynare and Her Prey Skirmished.". Issei Growled as

Energy Flowed through his Boosted Gear. "Can You PLEASE Stop Waving your Ineffectual Twice Critical

Around? It's very distracting." Baraquiel Requested. "I Can't Help it! I'M A HAREM KING ON THE

EDGE!" Yelled Issei. "After Raynare and the Priest Fled the Scene, I Noticed that She had

dropped…This!" Baraquiel explained, as he Revealed Twilight Healing. "I'm Surprised She Didn't Come

Back for it, But She Seemed like She Was in a Hurry. Oh Well…" Baraquiel Continued. "What's That? A

SOUL REMOVER?! A BLOOD STEALER?! A BREAST RIPPER?! TELL ME WHAT IT IS!"

Issei Yelled. "I Believe that is Twilight Healing, a Sacred Gear That can, to a Degree, heal any

Wound Sustained, be Them inflicted on the User, or on Others. I Believe Raynare once had them for a

Brief Period of Time.". Issei Eyed Twilight Healing for a Split Second and yelled "I KNEW THAT! GIVE ME

THOSE RINGS!". Yelled Issei. "NO! I need this to return to Raynare's good Graces. Once I Return This

Sacred Gear to Her, She Will Forgive My Abandonment of her Previous goal, and Welcome Me Back, to

her Clan with Open Arms. Oh How I've Come to Miss Standing by Raynare's Side. I Wonder If She'll

Promote me." Baraquiel Said. "I Thought You Were a Fathering Pacifist Now!" Issei Yelled. "I Was. But

The Sight of Raynare Pummeling that Priest Rekindled my Lifelong Lust of Conquest at her Side."

Baraquiel Assured Issei. Issei Readied his Boosted Gear. "Your Pitiful Twice Critical is not going to make

Me give up Twilight Healing, Red Dragon Emperor. "Hmph. You're Fooling Yourself, Old Timer." Issei

Said, Gloomily. "What Do You Mean?" Asked Baraquiel. "The Only Thing RAYNARE's Going to Welcome

You Back with, is a Fistful of Light Spears. You Can't Go Home Again. You Can't Even Get on The Porch.

You've Tasted the Apple, peed in the Pool, Bitten the Hand that Rocks the Cradle. You're the Father of a

Hybrid of Devil and Fallen Angel to her now, and that's all your ever GONNA be." Issei Finished, wearing

the Same Gloomy Look on His Face. "You're…Right. It's…Hopeless. No Matter What I Do Now, I'll Never

Soar Through the Skies by Raynare's Side, Ever Again." Baraquiel Said, Sadly, as He Sat Down on the

Ground, sobbing lightly, with his hands on his face, as He Dropped Twilight Healing on the Ground, and

Issei Scooped it up, but as he was about to Leave, He Briefly turned his head toward Baraquiel, and said

"I Hate to Admit it, But You're not a Very Good Father Either". Baraquiel said nothing, in response. Only

giving Issei a Sorrowful look on His Face, before turning his head back down, toward the ground. Issei

left the Shopping District, with Rias' Corpse cradled in His arms. "I Hate Seeing a Well Behaved, Grown

Fallen Angel, Devil, or Angel Cry, so maybe I'll Find someone to Join me as I Search for Raynare, and

Gaze into the Abyss. I finally found a hint. The Last time Raynare Had Twilight Healing, after She Killed

Asia as a Human, She Used it to Heal a Scar on her Left Forearm. Now it's Gonna lead me to the Bitch

Who Killed Rias. It's Not Exactly Ironic, but I Don't Care in The Slightest." Issei Thought. Ddraig, The

Welsh Dragon inside the Boosted Gear Awakened, and Asked "Is Something Wrong, Partner?". "Where's

Raynare?!" Issei Yelled. "I Don't Know Where She is." Ddraig Responded. "What do you MEAN you don't

know where she is?" Yelled Issei. "I'm Getting Weak, Partner. I Might Need Another Moment to Think

about it." Ddraig Said. "WAIT?! I Don't have TIME to Wait-Rias' Breasts are starting to Smell!

DIFFERENTLY! Yelled Issei. "Then MAYBE You Should Stop Yelling at Me and Be Patient while I Meditate,

to attempt to find out where She is." Ddraig said, before Falling Asleep Once More. "I Knew Something

about Susan's Accent was fishy. It's Time to show her how things are done here, in Japan. Something

about What Azazel Told Susan is stuck in my Craw, like a Spoonful of Miso Soup. Miso Soup sprinkled

with Chicken Bits, and Rice. I Can't Make Baraquiel Feel better, though, so I'm Not Going to Spend

Another Second with That Heartbroken Fallen Angel. I Know how to Break 'em, All Right, but I Never

Learned How to Fix 'em." Thought Issei. Issei Walked back to His Neighborhood, Where Susan Was.

"Wow! A Repeat Performance!" Susan Said, Excited. "Let's Hear Your Sad Little Story One More Time!

And Speak Properly—I'm Japanese!" Issei Yelled. "Okay, Fine. I Will. 1 Hour Ago, I Was Getting Directions

to the Museum District-". Before Being Interrupted by Issei, Who Yelled "You're LYING!". "You're

Right! It Was More Like 57 Minutes Ago, Yeah. But You Know Japanese People Can Be Sticklers When It

Comes to Authority. Anyway, we hid behind cover during the Blitzkrieg-" Susan Said. "WHAT HAPPENED

NEXT?!" Issei Interrupted. "After The Scuffle Moved Down the Street, I Noticed that My Samurai

Costume Had Been Stolen, Leaving Me with Nothing but my Underwear and a Bathrobe, leaving Me

Perplexed and Embarrassed near A Back Alley, Next to this Neighborhood." Susan Explained. "Don't

Play Innocent with Me, Liberty Lover! Azazel Saw You Pick Up Something After the Fight! Now Spill!"

Issei Yelled. "Yeah, Yeah! It's True! I DID Take a Souvenir from the Fight. I Didn't Think Anyone Would

Notice! Here!" Susan Said, shivering with fear, as she gave Issei a Tattered, Dirty, Sparkling White Bra

with the Engraving "A. Argento". "Argento?! Who the Hell is Argento?!" Yelled Issei, as He Squeezed

Susan's Nipples a Second Time. "I Have no Idea Who She is! Please Don't Hurt Me!" She Screamed, as

Issei Released Her. "You Devils Are All Animals! ANIMALS!" Susan Said, as Issei Walked Away. "Hmph.

"Argento". That Name Rings Fewer Bells than a Sleigh in July. Fortunately, It Doesn't Need to, although it

does sound…. Eerily familiar, hopefully it's Enough to Track Raynare Down. But She Could Be Anywhere.

I Might Need to Search the Dives in The City, starting with The Places that I Know About. Now There's

the Question of Where to Start. But I'm Not Going Back To THAT Neighborhood. Not for the Cunts at the

Karaoke. Susan's Gonna Have to Find Her Own Way Back to America" Issei Thought. "Thinking out loud,

huh?" Ddraig Asked, waking up. "All Right Ddraig, this is Your Last Chance before I Remove You from My

Arm!" Issei Yelled, As Ddraig said "I'm Afraid That my Time here's Drawing to a Close, But If I Can Grant

You One Last Favor, then my Death's One Small, Small Price to Pay." Ddraig said, sorrowfully. C'mon, you

Antiquated Anarchist! Talk! Where's Raynare?!" Issei Yelled. "Partner, NO!" Ddraig Responded. "STOP

HOLDING OUT ON ME!" Issei Yelled. I Would Suggest Looking at Marigold Tavern and Café." Ddraig

Suggested. Issei Sighed with Relief, and Said "Finally." "What HAVE You Become. The Hyodo Issei I

Know Would NEVER Threaten me. "The Marigold Tavern and Café. I Went there before. Numerous

Times with My Parents, once with Asia, before she got Abducted, and Again, when I Hooked Up Irina

and Xenovia, when I Found them in the Slums, Begging for Food. Now Wouldn't Be the Best Time to Get

a Nice, Hot Dish of Sushi, but…What the Hey! I'm Goin' there with a Thirst of Vengeance Anyhow." Issei

Thought, as He Arrived at the Desolated tavern.

Chapter 2: Following in Raynare's Scattered Feathers

"Hmm…Judging by the Smell of Semen in the Air, Raynare Was Here 25 Minutes Ago. I'm Parched. I

Think I'll Have Myself a Beer and a Dish of Sushi." Issei Thought, as he entered the Desolated Tavern,

where the Young Owner Eyed Issei with a Shrewd Gaze. "1 Dish of Rice, One Plate of Chinese Style

Upside-Down Blood Sushi Surprise, one Bowl of Chicken Balls, and One Boilermaker, Sir. I'm Famished.

But Make It Quick, Please." Issei Said to the Owner, Masking his Feelings of Angst. "Make That 2-I'm

Greedy." The Café Owner Said, as He prepared the Order. 25 Minutes Later, Issei Dined on his Succulent

Spread, Paid His Tab, and Left, saying "It's Not Possible to Get Taste Like That from My Parents' Home

Cooking. I Overheard a Few People Talking about a Broad in the City. That Just Might Be Raynare. I'd

Better Start Looking for Her." Issei Said, With Intrigue. "What's that up there? It Looks Like an empty

offering Basket. I'll Have to Climb my Way to the Roof. Luckily, this is where my Rock Climbing Expertise

Pays Off." Issei Thought, as He Climbed to the Café Roof, and Collected the Offering Basket. "Hmm

"Property of Japanese Orthodox Church". What does that Mean?" Issei Thought, as Ddraig Awakened

and Said "Try Looking at the Town Church." Before Falling Asleep. "Thanks, "Partner"." Issei Muttered.

Issei Went to the Town Church, to Find Kokabiel, one of the Leaders of the Fallen Angels Guarding the

Church Entrance. "There Must Be Fallen Angel Activity in there, if Raynare left Gruesome Here, to Guard

the Entrance" Issei Thought, Mischievously Smiling, vandalizing a Manhole Cover, and tossing a Soiled

Condom, on it, and then Looked at the Nearby Rubbish Bins, and Looked inside, and muttered "That

Banana Peel Should Distract Him. Issei Placed the Banana Peel Next to the Condom and Shouted "DOWN

WITH RAYNARE! FALLEN ANGELS GO HOME!". In Response, Kokabiel Yelled "Hey!", walking towards

Issei, and saying "You REALLY Shouldn't Be Littering!". Before rapid footsteps approached behind him.

Issei Readied Himself for A Fight, When Suddenly He Heard the Word "SURPRISE!", as 2 Human Hands

Approached behind Kokabiel and Smashed the Sides of His Head with Rubbish Bin Lids. Kokabiel Grunted

in Pain, as He got Pushed over to the Banana Peel, tripping over it, and Falling down the long manhole,

screaming as he fell. "Who Are…. ACK! Asia?! B-B-B-But I Thought You Were a Pacifist!" Issei Yelled in

Surprise. "I'm Sorry. Did I Scare You?" Asia Asked Issei. "Looky Here." Issei Said, as He Gave Asia both the

Bra He Found, and Twilight Healing. "Thank You! Give Me a Minute." Asia Said, as She Removed her

Robe, Long Enough to Fasten the Bra, before putting her robe back on, and Put Twilight Healing on her

Fingers. Groaning in Pain for a Split Second, she then Said "I Don't Remember my Favorite Underwear

being so Tight. "HA! Oldest Trick in the Book! Push Your Victim to a Banana Peel, and then they trip, like

I Always do. I Learned that Trick from a Movie." Asia Assured Issei. "Yeah, You Gotta Admit, that is Pretty

Funny." Issei Said, Chuckling in Response. "What Brings you to the Church?" Asia Asked. "The President

has been Killed. The Culprit is none other than-Are You Ready for This. You're Not Going to Believe it!"

Issei Answered. "No. Who did Kill Big Sister Rias?" Asia Asked, Inquisitively. "Raynare did it, and I

Thought She Was Dead, and I'm not pleased about it, but I will find out where she is, and I'll Kill Her

Again. Wanna Join Me?" Issei offered. "Lead The Way, Issei-San." Asia Replied. Issei and Asia went into

the Church, and Searched Everywhere. Issei Found a Splinter of wood with Mystic Symbols on it. "What

Do You Make of This?" Issei Asked. "This Must…. Could it be?" Asia Asked, as a Flashback of her Death as

a Human Occurred. "Yeah. It's a Piece of Wood from The Cross that I Saw Downstairs. It Must have been

Destroyed During the Scuffle Between Raynare and That Rogue Priest that I Heard about." Issei

Answered. "What are You Talking About?" Asia Asked, Confused. "I Went on a Really Embarrassing

Noirish Rampage, to Find out all about the Story. I Interrogated Matsuda, Motohama, Katase,

Murayama, Baraquiel, Azazel, and Susan, one of my Earlier Clients. All of their Answers Lead Me Here,

but not before Finding a Lead here, After Having Enjoyed a Nice Meal at The Marigold. Remember our

Date There? Issei Asked. "Definitely." Asia Answered. "Hold On a Sec. Ddraig is Dying, So I Have to Ask

him about Where Raynare is. Ddraig!" Issei Said "What is it, Partner?" Ddraig Answered. "Where's

Raynare?" Issei Asked. "Look At The Academy Campus Grounds. I Think I Saw Her There." Ddraig

Suggested. "Let's Go, Asia. The Academy is Where We Should Head Next." Issei Said. "Okay. Go Ahead.

You Lead, I'll Follow." Asia Replied, as They Went to their old Academy. "Where Should We Look First?"

Issei Asked." "I'd Try the Old School Building." Asia Suggested. Issei Gestured in the building's General

Direction as they Walked to the Old School Building and Found a Note written in Blood Reading "The

Cosmic Gods Have Been Avenged. -The Brotherhood of Cthulhu", with a Familiar-Looking Pistol. Issei

Suddenly Remembered When He Was Shot by The Rogue Priest Freed Sellzen, and when He Raped Asia

with That Same Pistol. "I Thought Freed Was torn Apart by Yuto. But Who's Cthulhu?" Issei Asked, in

Surprise. "A Creature from Lovecraftian Mythology. It is Rumored that Most People Are Driven

Incurably Insane by Just Looking at his Unspeakable Appearance. To Be Honest, I Didn't Know Father was

Still Alive Either." Asia Said. "Driven Insane? Yeah Right. I Saw an Unspeakable Appearance Once. A

Fusion of Beauty and Chimera. I Guess You'd Call it a Centaur. She Could Shoot Acid from Her Titties. At

First, Her Upper Body Looked Like a Slutty Exhibitionist, but She was so Pissed off That She Transformed.

She had Piranha-like Teeth, Pointy Ears, Black and Red Eyes, Long Razor Sharp Claws, that Could Rip Your

Chest Open Before You Could Say "She Just Looks Like a Slutty Exhibitionist to Me", and She also had

Pale, Sickly Green Skin. It was my First Battle. Prez Told Me About How Devils Kick Ass Around Here.

After Yuto Chopped off The Bitch's Front Legs, THAT's When She Transformed. She Turned her Attention

on Koneko-Chan, preparing to eat her with the Mouth on her Stomach, but She Broke Free. Akeno-san

Finished Her off, and then the Prez Killed her. How Could this "Cthulhu" Guy Have an "Unspeakable

Appearance?"". Issei Explained. "His Appearance is a Fusion of Humanoid, Dragon, and Octopus. He Has

a Body, like a Man, only More Monstrous. He had an Oval-Shaped Head, With Glowing Red Eyes, and

Tentacles Covering his Mouth, and He Has the Wings of a Dragon. Instead of Magic, like most Devils, He

Relies on Brute Strength, Nigh Invulnerability, Telepathy, and the Ability to Drive His Victims Incurably

Insane with Just the Tiniest Peek of his Unspeakable Visage." Asia Explained. "The President told me

About the Most Significant Locations of Different Locations. If Asgard is the Location for Norse

Mythology, Mount Olympus is the Location for Greek Mythology and Sun Peak is the Location from

Buddhism, then What Location would Lovecraftian Mythology Fall Under?" Issei asked, Curiously. "To

Keep the Explanation Concise, I'll Tell You This: "The nightmare corpse-city of R'lyeh…was built in

measureless eons behind history by the vast, loathsome shapes that seeped down from the dark stars.

There lay great Cthulhu and his hordes, hidden in green slimy vaults" - H.P Lovecraft." Asia Said. "In

Other Words…." Issei Replied. "The Sunken City of R'lyeh is the Location from Lovecraftian Mythology.".

The President Never Knew This. I Learned about it Through My Father-of-Sorts, who Was the Leader of

the Brotherhood of Cthulhu, before Raynare. I'm Starting to Think that The Cult That Took Me Away,

was the Actual, Factual Brotherhood of Cthulhu." "Is This "Cthulhu" a Cosmic God?" Issei Asked. "Yeah.

He is the Grandson of the Legendary Yog-Sothoth-An Elder God-The Ancestors of the Cosmic Gods. He is

Said to take on the form of a Conglomeration of Glowing Spheres. He's the Key and Guardian of the

Gate. Not to Mention that He's the Gate Itself. He Controls Time and Space." Asia Explained. "Good to

Know. I'll Look out for Cthulhu. I've Beaten Monsters that Are Almost Invulnerable. I'll Take him on If I

See Him." Issei Promised Asia. "Look Out! If Raynare is Killed, She Might Pass Her Consciousness into

Cthulhu, Bringing him to Life Again. Also Note that Your Wisecracks Won't Work on Him. He Isn't

Capable of Talking. He Just Roars, when People try to Communicate with Him. The Reason Freed is

Insane is Because He Once Caught a Glimpse of Cthulhu, and Was Driven Incurably Mad.". Asia Warned.

"What does "Incurably" Mean?" Issei Asked, Confused. "Can't be Cured" Asia Assured Him. "Noted. Now

Let's Roll. You Sounded Just Like Prez, When She Was Still Alive, You Know. Ddraig. Do Your Stuff!" Issei

Said. "The National Museum of Modern Art. Farewell Partner. It's Been a Pleasure." Ddraig Uttered,

before Uttering a Death Rattle, and Fading Away. "I Think I See Yuma Now." Issei Said. "Who?" Asia

Asked. "Yuma Amano Was the Fake Name that Raynare Used, Because She Planned on Killing me. "Why

"Yuma"?" Asia Asked, Baffled. ""Yuma" is a Common Japanese Word Meaning "Setting Sun". In Other

Words, She Was Trying to Kill Me at Sundown." Issei Said. "What Happened Between You 2?" Asia

Asked, Curiously. "She Took Me On a Date, and Then Took Me to the Park, Then Killed Me, and That was

How I Was Revived by the President. "Makes Sense." Asia Replied. "I'm Going to Interrogate Her, and

Find Out What She Did to Prez. Hey You!" Issei Yelled. "Who, Me?" Yuma Replied. "Don't get Fresh with

ME, You Ditchy Dame! What Did You Do to Rias?!". Issei Yelled. "I Don't Know What You're Talking

About." Yuma Said, Nonchalantly. Asia Approached Issei and Said "Maybe I Should Kibitz in on your

Interrogation. Maybe She'll Listen to Me. Yuma, What Have You Done to Rias?" Asia Asked. Yuma Said

Nothing. "See What I'm Working with, here?" Issei Asked. "Get Out of My Way!" Yuma Yelled as she

tried to Escape, before being stopped by Issei. "You're Not Going Anywhere!" Issei Yelled. "Not Until You

Answer Our Questions." Asia Said "Don't Deny it, Sister! I Talked to Eyewitnesses About it, Little Miss

French Tickler!" Issei Said, Sternly. "Like I Said, I Don't Know What You're Talking About." Issei Punched

her in the Face, in Response. "Fine. Fire Away. Anything to get Me out of this." Yuma Said, Reluctantly.

"Okay Then. Why Did You Want Twilight Healing in the First Place?!" Issei Said "I Wanted it to Give to

Azazel-sama as a Birthday Gift, and as an Apology for Straying from What I was Supposed to Do" Yuma

Said, Nonchalantly. "Birthday Parties. I Always Hated Them. They Were a Waste of Time." Issei Said,

Gloomily. "It's True. Really" Yuma Said. "Tell Me the Truth before I Really Get Upset." Issei Said. "Why

Should I?" Yuma Asked, Nervously. "Because If You Don't, I'll Crush Your Precious Twilight Healing Once

and for All." "You Wouldn't Dare." Yuma Replied. "I'm Just Crazy Enough to Do It!" Issei Yelled as He

Raised his Shoe. "I Wanted it as a Tool to Heal My Followers. Now, Don't Crush Twilight Healing, and

Give it to Me." Yuma Said, Truthfully. "Now Why Would You Kill Your Own Slave?" Asia Demanded. "I

Had No Further Use for You. Will You Die for M-" Yuma Said, before Being Punched in the Trachea.

"Sorry. I Hadn't Coldcocked Anyone in a Long Time, and She was REALLY Getting on My Nerves. Let's

Go." Issei Said. "By the Way, what does "Coldcocked" Mean?" Asia Asked. "It Means "Knocked Out"."

Issei Answered, before they Walked to the Museum Together.

Chapter 3: Return to the Museum

""The National Museum of Modern Art". The Pride and Joy of the Once Thriving Museum District in The

City. I Remember When I Fought off Unas, The Egyptian God of Lust. Before This Happened, My Parents

and I Have Always Been Meaning to Visit, but we Never got Around to it. Now Asia and I Can Take in its

Thrilling and Dubious Displays, With a Vengeance." Issei Thought, as they Walked into the Museum

Lobby. Issei Went Over to a Display Case with a Shark Tooth inside it, and Put Rias' Corpse On the Floor.

"All Right, Raynare! It's Time to Come Out and Pay the Piper!" Issei Yelled. "Plus Tax and Applicable

Service Fees!" Asia Yelled. Issei Looks Around, to Find the Room Empty, though with Ringing Noises and

Gunshots. "Asia Gestures in the General Direction of the Planetarium Dome. Issei Walked to the door,

and Said "This Move Calls for Stealth." Issei Said. "I'm Not Good with Sneaking. I'll Wait Outside." Asia

Replied. "Yeah. That's the Best Thing. I'm Goin' in!" Issei Said. Inside the Dome, lay several Rows of

Chairs, an Old Machine in the Middle of the Room, and a Prosthetic Star Display on the Roof. The Fallen

Angels, accompanied by Raynare, are Fighting Against the Brotherhood of Cthulhu accompanied by

Freed Sellzen, in that same Chamber. "You're No Match for my Superior Magical Might, Traitor!"

Smirked Raynare, as She and Her Army Toss Their Light Spears in Freed's Direction. "Blow it out Your

Ass, You Shitty, Ejaculating Exhibitionist!" Retorted Freed, as He Fired Magic Supernatural Beast-Purging

Rounds from His Pistol. "There She is. And that must be…Freed?! He's Looking Pretty Mean for a

Chimera. And is that…a Cross?!" Issei Thought, as His Arm Reeled Back Uncontrollably in a feeling of

Unspeakable Dread, Causing Issei to Groan in Pain, Halting the Battle. "It Smells Like Semen and

Gunpowder in Here." Issei Thought. "Issei Hyodo? The Devil Shit Who Stopped my Plans to Kill my

"Daughter"?" Freed Asked, in Surprise. "Issei Hyodo? The Tough Guy who Put the Kibosh on my Plans to

Steal Twilight Healing and Sent His Master, Who I Have Just Killed, to Defeat Me?!" Raynare Asked, In

Dreadful Agony. "Aw, Applesauce." Issei Muttered. "I HATE That Tough Guy." Raynare Grumbled. "I

HATE That Devil Shit!" Freed Muttered. "Hmmm… A Common Enemy, Eh? I Propose…An Alliance, Old

Friend." Raynare Said, Intrigued. "You Get Twilight Healing, I Get Asia?" Freed Asked, with a Crazed,

Sadistic Grin. "I Can Agree with That! It's a Deal!" Raynare Said, as She and Freed Exchanged a

Handshake. "FOLLOWERS! GET HIM!" Raynare Ordered her Followers. Issei Ran and Hid Behind a

Convenient, nearby Staircase. "Without Ddraig…I'll Have to Improvise. Now…What Would the Kamen

Riders Do…?" Issei Thought, as Fallen Angels Shemhaza and Chazaquiel Positioned themselves at The

Doors, not Detecting their Target.

Chapter 4: To Shatter an Alliance

Issei Sighed with Relief and Said "They're Gone. Asia?" Asia Emerged from Out of a Rubbish Bin. "Whoa!

Bad Idea. Raynare is After Your Sacred Gear. Stay in that Trash Can. "Got it." Asia Replied. I'll Never Sort

This Out, with Raynare and Freed Working Together. Maybe I Can Break up their Alliance from in Here."

Issei Thought. Someone Came from Behind Him, and Said "Hey You!". "Who, Me?" Issei Replied, as He

Turned to See a Tall, Skinny Man Wearing a White Guard Uniform, with a Badge, marked "Security

Guard", a Cap with the Label "Security", and a Name Tag Labelled "Hutch". "Don't Mess with Me,

Wiseguy. What Are You Doing in the Museum after hours?" The Guard Replied. "I Hear there's a lot

Going on Around Here. I am Here to Find Out What's Going on. Name's Hyodo. Issei Hyodo." Issei

Replied, as He and the Guard Exchanged a Handshake. ""Hyodo", Eh. I Heard a lot About You. A LOT. I'm

Hutch, The Museum Night Shift Security Guard. Feel Free to Poke around, but Right Now, You'd Better

Do Something about this Pile of Trash." The Guard Replied, as He Pointed at Rias' Corpse. Issei Gasped

and Said "That's Not Trash! Uhhhhhhhhhhh…. That's My…. Girlfriend.". "Girlfriend, Trash, Potato, Potah-

to. If She's Not Up and Moving in the Next few Minutes, I'm tossing that Decomposing Lump of Guts in

the Incinerator." Hutch Replied. "You Can't Do That!" Issei Screamed, in Fear. "I'm Sorry, but Orders Are

Orders, and It's My Job to Toss all Trash into the Incinerator." Hutch Said, with a Facepalm. "I

Understand. I'm Going to Miss Her." Issei Said, Sadly. "Keep it Down, Will ya? This is a Museum, not a

Social Club.". "Would You Mind Making an Exception, Just this Once?" Issei Asked. "No Can Do, Hyodo. If

Professor Nishiura finds another Corpse Strewn Around, all Willy-Nilly on the Museum Floor, I'm Going

to Kick My Ass all the Way to the unemployment Line. "Go Ahead! She's Dead, Anyway.". Issei Sobbed.

"Hold on a Minute." Hutch Said. Gripping Rias' Corpse, He went Downstairs to the Museum Boiler Room,

and Tossed the Corpse into the Incinerator. Hutch Went Back Upstairs. "You Were Saying…?" Hutch

Asked. "Hutch… Why Does that Name Sound Familiar" Issei Thought. "The Karaoke Used to Have a Man

Operating the Snack Bar Named Hutch…." Issei Said. "Yup! That'd be me." "A 6-Foot-Tall Yankee

Working at a Japanese Karaoke?! That's Shocking! So, Why'd You Quit?" Issei Asked. "I Didn't Like the

Pay." Hutch Replied. "Nice Headphones, Hutch! Listenin' To The Niigata Game? Or Maybe Some

Strawberry Flower?" Issei Asked. "Nah, These Are My Official Museum Security Guard Emergency

Headphones. Gotta Wear these, so Professor Mika can tell me Where to Go in case of a Security

Emergency, But I Haven't Heard from Him in Awhile. He Must Still Be on His

Expedition to China. Hutch Replied. "Don't Look Now, But There's a Scantily Clad Broad with

Black, Feathery Wings, Wreaking Havoc in The Planetarium." Issei Warned. "You Mean Raynare? She's

an A-Grade Fascist, All Right, But What Are You Gonna Do? Professor Nishiura's Rolled out the Red

Carpet for Her, and Her Flunkies." Hutch Replied. "Shouldn't You Call the Police?" Issei Asked. "What?

And Lose My Job?! Dream On, Buddy, I've Got a Pretty Cush Job, and I Ain't Messin' it up over a Scuffle!"

Hutch Said. "What Do You Think of Raynare?" Issei Asked. "Not So Bad. Aside from those 2 Buttlicks

Guarding the Door, most of them Hang out in the Planetarium." Hutch Replied. "What's with All the

Fallen Angels Flyin' Around" Issei Asked. "Beats Me, But Professor Mika Told me to Steer Clear of 'em, so

that's What I'm Gonna Do." Hutch Replied. "Any Idea What that "Freed" Loser's Doing in the

Planetarium?" Issei Asked. "Nah, I Don't Know What that Psycho's Up to. Heck, I Can't Even Understand

Half the Things the Prof Tells Me over My Headphones." Hutch Said. "I've Been There! Sometimes, I

Couldn't Understand Half the Things My Boss Told Me to Do, Back When I Worked as a Janitor, in the

Arcade. "Gotta Go, Hutch! Nice Meetin' Ya!". Issei Said. "Careful Out there, Issei. This Place is Cuckoo

Tonight." Hutch Replied "Got It." Issei Replied, as He Walked over to a Wooden Door with a Window

with a Label Marked "A. Nishiura" with the Word "Curator" Underneath it, with a Keypad with

Hieroglyphics Instead of Numbers beside it. "That's Interesting…Yikes" Issei Said, as 3 Green, Slimy

Tentacles Emerged from The Floor, From a Whirlpool-like Portal. "What IS That?" Issei Asked. "Cthulhu's

Wattle!" Asia Replied. Issei Walked to the Information Desk and Found a Headset with a Remote

Control, both Labelled "National Museum of Modern Art Guided Tour". "This Must be a Headset and a

Remote to Make sense of the Exhibits in the Museum. Now Might not be the Best time to Use it, but,

What the Heck! I've never been Here Before." Issei Said, Putting the Headset on. He Pressed every

Possible button, and All that happened was Several Recordings of Professor Nishiura's Voice, Either

directing him to an Exhibit, Talking About the Exhibit, or Demonstrating the Animatronic Functions of

the Exhibits. "Very Educational." Issei Said, After Listening to all of the Recordings. Issei Continued

Through the Museum, when Suddenly, a Hostile Voice Halted Him. "Hold it Right There! Where do You

Think You're Going?" Shemhaza Shouted, as Issei Was Surrounded by Cthulhu Cultists. Issei Couldn't

Fight Back with Brawn, so, Using His Wits, He Ducked the Gunshots Fired from the Pistols in their

Hands, Using their own Weapons Against Them. "Normally, the Code of the Occult Research Club

Frowns on Stealing, But Drastic Times Call for Icky Measures." Issei Thought, as He Picked Up 2 Pistols, to

use as protection, as well as the Cultist's Robes. "Sorry. Just Looking for the Snack Bar." Issei Replied.

"No One Leaves Here. Raynare's Orders!" Shemhaza Said. "Why?" Issei Asked. "We're Supposed to be

on the Lookout for…. uhhhhhhhh, Issei! That's Right Issei! Are You Issei?" Shemhaza Asked. "No. My

Name is….um…. Hatogaya. Issei's…. Right over There!" Issei Replied, Pointing at Susan. "Finally! I've

Arrived at the National Museum of Modern Art. And Look! An Animatronic Fallen Angel." Susan Said,

Enthusiastically, before being Fatally Impaled in the Chest by Chazaquiel. "Raynare! I've Successfully

Killed the One Called Issei!" Chazaquiel yelled, before a Magic Circle appeared next to his Left Ear. "Yes?

Tell Me What He Looks Like." Raynare Replied, through the Circle. "Tall, Human, Hard-to-Place Accent…"

Chazaquiel Replied. "That's not Issei, Stupid! Now Don't Bother Me Again, until You Find Him!" Raynare

Yelled, through the Circle, before it dissipated. "Apparently, That Wasn't Issei." Shemhaza Replied. "Oh

Well. Happy Hunting!" Issei Replied, Nonchalantly. "Thank You Very Much, Hatogaya." Chazaquiel

Replied. "Issei Went over to the Rubbish Bin. "Asia! I Just Had an Idea! Put on these Robes. Then They'll

think You're a Cultist! You'll need this Pistol, too. Place it at My Back, but DON'T SHOOT!" Issei Said.

"Got it." Asia Said, as She Came out of the Rubbish Bin, Removed Her Clothes and Put on the Robes and

Took the Pistol, holding it Behind Him. "Hey! Shemhaza!" Issei Yelled. "Not Now, Hatogaya. We Need to

Keep a Lookout for Issei!" Shemhaza Replied. "Poke his eyes." Issei Whispered. Asia Poked Shemhaza's

Eyes, as He Yelled "What in the Name of Azazel?!" Shemhaza Yelled in Surprise. Asia Shivered as

Shemhaza Growled, before being Slashed by Him. "What's Going on Here?" Freed Yelled, before

Gasping, and Running back to the Planetarium. "Raynare!" Freed Yelled. "Yeah?" Raynare Replied. "I

Would Appreciate It If Your Flunkies Would Stop Manhandling my Fellow Brethren!" Freed Yelled. "and I

Would appreciate it If You had stopped using Racist Words, Like MANhandling." Raynare Yelled. "Oh,

Quit your Bellyaching, and take it Like a Man, You Fucking Bitch!". "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALLIED MYSELF

WITH A BASTARD LIKE YOU!" Raynare Yelled. "BASTARD?! Do You Think I LIKE Having My Plans Botched

by a Half Naked Fallen Angel Who Can't Even Stop even a Low-Level Devil?!" Freed Replied. "Let Me

Guess, You Can Do Better, You Dim-Witted Brat?!" Raynare Yelled. "Just Watch Me!" Freed Responded.

Raynare Gritted Her Fangs, in Response, as if Growling. Meanwhile, Outside the Planetarium, Issei Was

Very Proud of Himself. "Nice Simmering. One More "Misunderstanding" Should be Enough to Break 'em

Up!" Issei Said. "That Office Looks Fascinating, but with These Tentacles in the Way, we can't get to the

Door. Let's Try Climbing around to the Back Window." Issei Suggested. "That's Dangerous. I'd Advise

Against That.". "Don't Worry! I was an Expert at Rock Climbing Back in the Day." Issei Replied, as He

Opened a Window. "Now Climb on to my Back." Issei Said. Asia Complied, and They Climbed around to a

Window, and Opened it, Reaching the Curator's Office. "So This is Professor Nishiura's Office? What a

Dump." Issei Said. Freed Shot the Tentacles Guarding the Door, and Entered the Office. "Someone's

Coming! Hide!" Asia Said. Issei and Asia Ducked under the Desk. A Magic Circle Appeared Around

Freed's Right Ear. "Why Have You Left the Planetarium?" a Mysterious Voice Said. "That Shitty Bitch is

Driving Me Crazy!". "Get a GRIP on Yourself! Can't you see your Destiny is Near?" The Voice Said.

"Yeah." Freed Replied. "Then Stop your Complaining and Get back in There!" The Voice Ordered. "Yes

Sir!" Freed Replied Before Leaving. "He Locked the Door. But I'm Prepared for That!" Issei Said, as He

Picked the Lock. "Where'd You Learn THAT?" Asia Asked. "YouTube. It's an American Video Sharing

Site." Issei Replied, as they Exited the Office. "Let' See if We Can Add a Little Fuel to the Fire Here." Issei

Said. "Fuel! That's It! While You Were Hiding in the Office, I Found These!" Asia Said, Holding out a Pack

of Cigarettes and a Bottle of Kerosene. "What Should We Burn?" Issei Asked. "That Tapestry of Cthulhu-

It's Sacred to The Brotherhood. Maybe Burning it would Cause another Misunderstanding." Asia

Suggested. "Great Idea! Pour that Stuff on the Tapestry, and I'll Light a Match!" Issei Said. "G-Got It."

Asia Said, as She Poured the Kerosene on the Tapestry. Issei Lit a Match and Tossed it to the Tapestry,

Burning It. "Oh, the HUMANITY!" Issei Said. Asia Scratched her Head in Confusion. "What? That was the

Famous Saying from the Hindenburg Newsreel, back in '36. "Oh. I would Agree." Asia Responded.

"Someone's Coming!" Issei and Asia Hid Behind the Tyrannosaurus Rex Exhibit, as Freed Appeared Yet

Again, Hearing a Burning Noise. "Hey! What's all that Racket?! CTHULHU! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Freed Yelled, as He Kneeled to the Floor, before Growling, as HE Ran Back to the Planetarium.

"Raynare!" Freed Yelled. "What is it Now?" Raynare Asked. "One of Your Clumsy Shits Destroyed The

Tapestry of Cthulhu!" Freed Replied. "That So? Chazaquiel!" Raynare Yelled, Contacting Her Followers.

"Yes Ma'am?" Replied Chazaquiel, through the Magic Circle near Raynare. "Did You, Or Shemhaza

Destroy the Priceless Tapestry of Cthulhu?!" Raynare Asked. "No, Ma'am" Chazaquiel Replied. Raynare

Ceased Contact, and Said "I Believe You Owe Me an Apology, Partner." Raynare Said. "You're Right. I'm

Sorry….". Freed Said. "Apology Accepted." Said Raynare, Contently. "…Sorry that Your Flunkies are

Trigger-Happy LAMPREYS!" Freed Finished. Raynare Growled and Yelled "That's IT! I've Had It Up To

HERE with Your Nonstop, Pathetic Whining!". "PATHETIC?! Well, I'VE Had It Up to Here with Your Short-

Fused Attitude and Your Smelly Semen Odor." Freed Retorted. "Semen Odor?! SEMEN ODOR!? THIS

ALLIANCE IS OVER!" Raynare Yelled, as She Tossed a Light Spear at Freed. Freed Caught the Spear, and

Threw It Back at Her as he Said "If That's the Way You Want it…". The Spear Nicked Raynare in the Right

Shoulder. "Torments of Kokabiel Will Be Laid on Your Feet, Heretics! The Wrath of the Fallen Angels Will

Make YOU Surrender! Resistance is Useless, MANIAC!" Raynare Yelled. "Bite My Ass, You Half Naked

Googelymoogeley!" Issei Went to the Planetarium Entrance, and Said "Stay Here! I'll Be Back!" "All

Right." Asia Replied. Issei Readied His Pistol, as Raynare Unfurled Her Mighty Wings, and Flew to the

Middle of the Planetarium, and Said "By the Sword of Lucifer, the Khopesh of Anubis, and the Fiery

Hangnails of Iblis, All of Reality itself will KNEEL before Raynare!" "I Surrender! I Surrender!" Freed

Screamed as He Bowed Before Raynare. Asia Entered and Asked "Fight or Run?" "Run." Issei Replied, as

a Flash of Light Blinded the Entire Chamber.

Chapter 5: A Reality Makeover

The Light Dissipated, and Before Long, Reality was Altered into a Twisted Illusion of the Japanese Edo

Period, in Which Everyone was Devoted to Raynare, Looking upon her as a God. Issei Stood, in front of

The Grounds of Kuoh Academy, Wearing the Same Regal Attire that He Chose as a Harem King- Fencing

Shirt, Trench coat, Crown, Gloves, and Dress shoes. "Another Task Well Done! Who's Up for a Beer?"

Issei Asked Happily. "Shouldn't We Be Stopping Raynare?" Asia Asked. "Don't be Silly. She was ALWAYS the Ruler Here.". "No She Hasn't. She Changed Reality, into this Twisted Limbo!" Asia Replied. "Hold

That Thought-We've Got Some Idolizing to Do!'" Issei Replied, as He, and the Rest of the Citizens in the

Neighborhood, Katase, Murayama, Asia's High School Friend Aika Kiryuu, Knelt Before a Jewel Encrusted

Idol Shaped Like Raynare's Head. "Raynare is Sexy! Raynare is Cute!" a Voice Came from the Idol. "When

We Think of Raynare, We Give a Big Salute!" Everyone Shouted in Unison, as they Saluted. "You Have

GOT to be Kidding Me!" Asia Muttered. "Attention Everyone! From Now on, Those things on the Ends of

Your Shoelaces Ag…. lets? Yes. Aglets, are the Stupidest things in the Whole World. Issei Looked Down at

His Shoes, and Smiled "Good Thing I Don't Wear Casual Shoes." Issei Said. "Snap Out of it!" Asia Said.

"Snap Out of What?" Issei Asked, Confused. "Never Mind, Just Get Me Out of Here." Asia Said, In

Frustration. "Where Would We Go?" Issei Asked. "How Long Has Raynare Been in Charge?" Asia Asked.

"Oh, She's ALWAYS Been in Charge! Ever Since She Was Born Out of Nothingness, After the Creation of

the Sun, and Banished the Angels to The Underworld.". "Why is the city So Dirty?" Asked Asia.

"Raynare's Not One for Cleanliness. She's More of a Tiding and Sacrifice kind of Deity." Replied Issei.

"So…. Lemme Get this Straight: Raynare's Always Ruled the Earth.". Asked Asia "Um…Yeah." Issei Said.

"Then How Can We Go On with Classes?" Asia Asked. "Don't Worry About it. We Always Had Classes."

Issei Replied. "Name One." Asia Said. "There's English Language Class." Issei Replied. "Yeesh.". Asia Said.

"If Raynare's in Charge of Everything, Then Who's President of the Occult Research Club?" Asia Asked.

"Don't Be Ridiculous. You Are!" Issei Replied. "Well, Thank God for That." Asia Said. "But, it's only a

Front for a Group of Devils like us, Obviously." Issei Said. "What is That?" Asia Asked, Pointing at the

Idol. "That's One of Raynare's Magic Auto-Idols. She Uses these to Detect Nasty Heretics, Address The

Citizens of New Luxor, Receive Praise, and Choose Which things are Her Favorite and Least Favorite

Things!" Issei Replied. "Why Does It Look Like Raynare?" Asia Asked. "Don't be Blasphemous, Asia. In

Fact, you look like you're in a Funk. Let's go to the Church!" Issei Said. "I Think I'd Better Play Along, until

I can Find a Way to Get Rid of this Illusion. "Hang On. We're About to be Addressed." Issei Said.

"Raynare is Deadly! Raynare is Grand." The Idol Voice Said. "The Nakedness of Queen Raynare is More

Than We Can Stand!" Everyone Shouted in Unison, as they Bowed Down. "Hello, People of New Luxor!

This is Raynare! Queen of Queens! Ruler of Reality Speaking! From Now Own, Aglets are the Most

Favored Thing Ever. As You Were." The Idol Voice Said, Before Fading." "Darn! No Aglets. If I Had Some,

I'd Give 'em All to Raynare!". Issei Said, in Frustration. "You Don't Know What that Means, Do You?" Asia

Asked. "Of Course I Do! I Learned It When the Idol Said That They Were the Thing that Raynare Hated

The Most. Now Come On! Let's Go to the Church!" Issei Said. "Okay. Um, Let's Go Then." Asia Said.

Chapter 6: Finding The Rebels

"Asia! Heed My Warnings!" a Voice from Behind Said. "Xenovia?" Asia Asked. "How's it Hangin'? Issei

Asked. "Do You Mind? I Need to Have a Private Talk with her." Asia Said. "Go Ahead. I'll Be Right Here."

Issei Replied. "Nice One. Issei Must Not Suspect Anything. Only YOU can Undo the Twisted Reality

Created by Raynare." Xenovia Replied "What Do You Expect Me to Do? I'm a Pacifist." Asia Said. "Find

the Rebels. They Will Help You." Xenovia Assured Asia. "I Don't See any Rebels Around Here. How Can I

Find them?" Asia Said. "You'll Recognize them by their Backhanded Salute. Gotta Go, Before I'm

Spotted. Good Luck, Asia. We're all counting on You." Xenovia Replied, before Running away, down a

Manhole. "I Have an Idea. Let's Find Someone with a Backhanded Salute." Asia Said. "What for?" Issei

Asked. "Just for Kicks." Asia Said. "I Saw Someone Suspicious Running Down a Manhole. We Should

Check It Out." Before Going Down the Manhole.

Chapter 7: The Briefing

"What a Convenient Shortcut." Issei Said, before he Found Xenovia, with Irina. "Hey There! Howzit

Going?" "It's All Right." Irina Said. "Raynare is Sexy! Raynare is Cute!" Issei Said. "When We Think of

Raynare, We Give a Big Salute!" Said Both Girls in Unison, as they Saluted, Insincerely. "That's an

Unusual Salute You Got Goin' On!" Issei Said. "Hey! You Gave a Backhanded Salute! Are You a Rebel?"

Asia Asked. "Rebels? Where?!" Yelled Issei, before Growling. "Raynare is Deadly! Raynare is Grand!"

""The Nakedness of Queen Raynare is More Than We Can Stand!" Issei Shouted, as He Bowed. "That

Should Stall Him. Now: Are You a Rebel?" Asia Asked. "Oh my. We're MUCH More than Just Rebels!" A

Voice Came from Behind, as The Rebel Leader, Akeno Hinejima Arrived on the Scene, before Irina

Fainted. Another Rebel, Yuto Kiba, the Second in Command, Suddenly Arrived. "To Defeat Raynare,

You'll Need a Weapon that Was Used to Cut Her Down in Ancient Times." Yuto Said. "The Demonic

Power of Destruction?" Asia Asked. "Oh my, No. We're Talking About…. Excalibur, the Mightiest of

the Holy Swords." Akeno Replied. "Bring the Sacred Weapon Close, and I'll Do the Rest. Xenovia Said.

"That'll Be Easy. Any Dope Could Figure that Out." Asia Said. "No. I'm Afraid It'll Be Much Harder than

That. But Don't Be Afraid, We Have Faith in You. "Thanks. HEY!" Asia Yelled, as She Slapped Issei, to Get

his Attention. Issei Stood up, and Panted as he Said "Constant Submission's Hard on the Knees. What is

it?" Issei Asked "Raynare's Missing Her Trusty Blade." Asia Replied. "It is? Maybe We Should Give It Back,

Raynare SHOULD be in Her Throne Room, in the Church." Issei Said, as they Left the Manhole, and Set

off to Go to the Church, where Raynare Resided.

Chapter 8: A Visit to the Church

Arriving at the Church, A Scuffle was Commencing between a Human and Raynare's Champion,

Baraquiel. "Now Let's Have a Nice, Firm Chat with that Thieving Bastard." Asia Said. "That's No Way to

talk About Our Divine Leader, Asia." Issei Said. "Good Grief." Asia Said. "Kill Him. Rip His Eyes Out!"

Raynare Shouted. Baraquiel Shot a Stream of Lightning at the Man, Who Leaped Over it, only to Fall on

His Back. "Come On! Kick Him in the Balls!" Smirked Aika. Brandishing a Lightning-Infused Khopesh,

Baraquiel Lunged at the Man and Impaled Him, Before Laughing Maniacally. "Well Fought, Baraquiel.

You Really Are My Best and Toughest Warrior!" Raynare Said. Baraquiel Knelt and Said "I LIVE for Your

Praise, My Liege.". Another Blasphemous Man Entered the Pit. Baraquiel Lunged at the Man, but

Missed, Before the Man Started Running Away from Baraquiel. "That Doesn't Sound Fair!" Asia Said.

"That May Be, But It's the Only Way Those Fucking Rebels Will Learn to Accept the Omnipotent

Raynare's Righteous Rule." Issei Replied. "You Know I Don't Like You When You're Sycophantic." Asia

Said. "I Don't Know What That Means, But Please Show Our Queen Some Respect" Issei Replied

Chapter 9: Contrition

Eyeing a Stone Statue of Raynare, Issei Walked over, and Said "What's That?" "It's Queen Raynare's

Magnificent Stone Statue. A Meticulously Made Marvel Made from 1,000 Of the Most Precious Volcanic

Rocks!" Aika Replied. Asia Rubbed Her Hands Together Mischievously, as Aika Asked "Would You Like to

Come Over to My Place?" in a Seductive Manner. Asia Pushed Aika Against Issei Hard, Causing the

Her Glasses to Fall from Her Face. "Hey! Be Carful! You Could Have Hurt Me!" Issei Said. "No!" Aika Said,

panicking as She Swept Her Hands Repeatedly, to Grasp Them, but Failed Miserably, as They Landed on

the Statue, and Damaged it, as well as Breaking the Lenses. Appalled Gasps Filled the Church.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Raynare Yelled. "Something Wrong?" Said Freed, Raynare's Grand Vizier.

"What is That?" Raynare Asked Sternly. "What?" Freed Asked. "That THING That Just Defiled my

Statue?!" Raynare Yelled, in a Warning Tone. "A Pair of Spectacles, My Queen." Sobbed Aika. "A Pair of

Spectacles, Eh?" Raynare Asked. Meanwhile, out on the Streets, Everyone Knelt Before an Auto-Idol.

"Listen up Everyone! From Now On, Spectacles Are the Most Terrible things in the World. If You See a

Pair of Spectacles, Stomp them into the Dust for Your Queen and Mistress. That's all for Now." The Idol

Voice Said. Meanwhile, at the Church, Aika Said "Oh, Crap.". "and as for You: Into the Contrition Pit with

You!" Raynare Ordered. "Yes…" Aika Said, As Baraquiel Laughed Maniacally. Aika Ducked, as Baraquiel

Swept his Khopesh, but She Could Not Get Up. "No! Not in the Thatch! Please!" Aika Begged. The

Blasphemous Man Tried to Defend Her, But Baraquiel Stabbed the Man in the Chest, before Shredding

Aika to Bone Powder. "2 Heretics in One Blow! Very Impressive!" Raynare Said. "I Try to do my Best, my

Queen." Baraquiel Replied. Vizier! Fix that Patch Now!" Raynare Ordered "Right Away, Your Greatness!"

Freed Replied, as He Immediately Put More Rocks on the Statue. "That was Quick." Issei Said.

"Confidentially, That Happens a Lot, So We Always Have Spare Parts." Freed Replied, as He Went Back to

The Throne, Where Raynare Sat, before another Heretic Entered the Pit of Contrition, with Baraquiel in

Hot Pursuit, Swinging Furiously as He Chased after the Powerless, Defenseless, Traitorous Man.

Chapter 10: A Heretic, Discovered

"I Can't WAIT to Bask in Raynare's Glory!" Issei Said, Enthusiastically. Asia Saw a Sign Reading: "Inner

Circle Members Only". "I Don't Think We're Supposed to Go in There." "Where Do You Think YOU'RE

GOING, Devil Shit?". "I Need to Return Something to Raynare." Issei Said. "No One Enters the Inner

Circle, Except for People Who Have Privilege." Freed Replied. "All Right, Freed-". Issei Said, Before Being

Interrupted. "That's "GRAND VIZIER Freed" to You!" Freed Said. "Grand Vizier, How Do I Earn Privilege?"

Issei Asked. "By Earning the Accessories of Privilege, Like I Have Here!" Freed Said. "One More Thing:

How do I Earn Accessories of Privilege?" Issei Asked. "By Doing Good Deeds for Queen Raynare. Now, If

You'll Excuse Me…" Freed Said, Before Returning. I May Not Be Allowed Now, but That Ain't Stoppin' Me

from Returning Raynare's Sword! I Just Need to Earn Accessories of Privilege. "Hmm… Good Deeds For

Raynare… Where to Begin…. I Could Find a Heretic." Issei Thought, as He Went Back to the City, to Find

Hutch Standing Near an Intersection. "Hutch!" Issei Said. "Hyodo!" Hutch Replied. "How's it Going?"

Issei Asked. "I'm Doing Great." Hutch Replied. "What Have You Been Up to?" Issei Asked. "Same Old,

Same Old. Catching Some Heretics. Doing Raynare's Work." Said Hutch. "Going to the Church Again?"

Issei Asked. "Yeah. It's My Job to Send Heretics to the Church." "How Are You Putting up with the Grand

Vizier?" "He's a little Unhinged. Especially When He Sticks his Tongue Out." Hutch Replied. "I Always

Wondered…Why DOES The Grand Vizier Sometimes Speak with His Tongue Hanging out of His Mouth?"

Issei Asked. "No Idea, To be Honest. Maybe He's a Fag." Hutch Replied "Fag?" Issei Said, Before He,

Asia, and Hutch Laughed Uproariously. "Man, I Needed That!". Asia Continued Giggling, as Milk Horked

from Her Nose. "Seriously Though, What's Wrong with the Grand Vizier?" Issei Asked. "I Don't Know."

Hutch Replied. "Raynare Sure is Great, Isn't She?" Issei Asked. "You Bet! There Was a Storm Last Night,

causing my Knees to Hurt Something Bad. In Fact, The Weather's turnin' Right Now. I Can Feel It." Hutch

Said. "I Used to Have Headaches that Hurt Just as Much." Asia Said. "Who's Your Friend, Anyway?"

Hutch Asked. "That's My Old Friend, Asia. Asia, this is Hutch." Issei Said. "Nice to Meet You.". ""Asia".

That's an Unusual Name You Got There." Hutch Replied. "It's an Italian Name." Asia Said, Assuring

Hutch. "Oh. Makes Sense. Anyway, I Offered a Gift to Raynare, and Then the Skies Cleared Up, and BAM!

My Legs Are Good as New! Praise the Queen!" Hutch Replied. "Oh, Yeah, Because Storms NEVER End on

Their Own. Did Raynare Do That?" Asia Said, Sarcastically. "Hey!" Issei Said. "Are You Being

Blasphemous, Asia?" Hutch Asked. "Of Course She's Not. She Would Never Do That. Would You, Asia?"

Issei Replied, In Shock. "Hail Raynare!" Asia Muttered. "That's The Spirit!" Hutch Replied. "You Look

Different, Hutch." Issei Said. "Ya Think?" Hutch Replied. "Looks Like it to Me." Asia Said. "it's the Badge

on His Cap." Issei Assured Asia. "Nice Badge. Where'd You Get it?" Asia Asked. "That's the Medallion of

Tithing. Given to People Who Offer One-Of-A-Kind Gifts to Raynare. Namely, anything that She Favors

Most. "What'd Ya Give Him?" Asia Asked. "The Last Pair of Yak Slacks in the World." Hutch Replied.

"You've Got Me Jealous." Issei Said. "You Oughtta be. If I Rack Up 2 More Accessories of Privilege, I'll Be

Allowed in the Inner Circle of the High Queen Herself." Hutch Replied. "Asia's in a Bit of a Funk. Can You

Give Me Ideas to Make Her Feel Better?" Issei Asked. "Fat Chance." Hutch Replied. "Never Mind." Issei

Said. "So, Raynare Changed the Weather for You? Amazing!" Issei Said. "I'd Say "Impossible"." Asia Said.

"I Know, Right? Good Thing, Too. When The Low Pressure Systems Roll in, My Dogs Bark Louder than

McGruff the Crime Dog." Hutch Replied. "So, Let Me Get this Straight: You Got That Medallion by Giving

Raynare a Gift?" Issei Asked, Confused. "Yeah. But Only a One-Of-A-Kind Gift that She Favors Most."

Hutch Explained. "That'll be Tricky. Raynare's Kinda Whimsical." Issei Said. "Tell Me About it. You Never

Know What He'll Want Most." Hutch Replied. "Raynare is Deadly! Raynare is Grand." Issei Said, as the

Skies Turned Thunderous. "The Nakedness of Queen Raynare is More than We Can Stand!" Issei, and

Hutch Said in Unison. Hutch Groaned in Pain and Said "My Swollen Knees!" Hutch Said. "A NON-

BELIEVER! EXECUTE! KILL THE HERETIC!" Issei Yelled. "What're You Talkin' 'bout? I've Got Sore Knees!"

Hutch Said, Nervously, as Katase and Murayama Approached Him. "Tell it to the Contrition Pit, Sicko!"

Katase Yelled. "NO! I LOVE Queen Raynare!" as He is Dragged Away. Raynare Flew to Issei and Said.

"Issei Hyodo! As a Token of My Appreciation, For the Great Service You've Done for Your Queen and

Mistress, I'd Like to Give You…. The BADGE…. OF LOYALTY! As You Were!" Before Flying Away. Issei

Attached the Badge to His Coat. "A Magic Circle Appeared Around Asia's Left Ear. "Good Job, Asia!"

Xenovia Said, Through the Magic Circle. "Yikes!" Asia Yelled. "Is Something Wrong?" Issei Asked. "Slight

Headache." Asia Said. "Preparations are Being Made as We Speak. Get More Accessories of Privilege, So

Issei can Get Close to Raynare." Xenovia Continued. "No Problem." Asia Said. "Don't Forget to Bring…

Excalibur!" Xenovia Said. "I Know. Don't be a Nag." Asia Said, Before the Magic Circle Dissipated. "Who

Were You Talking to?" Issei Asked. "Myself. I Can't Help it." Asia Said, Nonchalantly. "You and Your Silly

Imagination. Why did Milk Come Out of Your Nose, Anyway? Have You Been Sucking at Your Breasts

again?" Issei Asked. "Sometimes I Lactate in a State of Ecstasy." Asia Said. "Really?" Issei Asked, Making

a Lewd Smile. "That's Really Personal, Issei. I Don't Like to Talk About it." Asia Said. "Sorry." Issei Said.

"It's Okay. Just Be More Careful About it in the Future." Asia Said. "Got it. I Won't Worry You Again."

Issei Replied

Chapter 11: The Offering

"Can We Go Back to the Church? I Feel Safe There?" Asia Said, Precariously. "Sure. Let's Go." Issei Said,

as they Went Back to the Church. At the Church, they See the Dead Body of Hutch. "Poor Hutch. He Was

a Good Guy." Issei Said. "I Agree. I Kinda Liked Him." Asia Said. "The Queen Does Love Her Statues." Issei

Said. Asia Reached into Her Bra, and Took Out the Condom that Xenovia Gave to Asia Years ago, and

tossed it at the Statue. Everyone Gasped, as Raynare Growled and Yelled "What…is…That?!". "It's a

Condom." Freed Replied. "A "Condom", Huh?" Raynare Asked. Meanwhile, One of Her Idols Started

Speaking, as Everyone Knelt Before it. "Listen Up, Everyone. This is Raynare, Maiden of all of Creation!

Forget What I Said Before. From Now On, "Condoms" Are the Most Despicable Things in the World! So If

You See a Condom, break it Apart, If You Value Your Lives. That's All for Now." The Idol Voice Said.

"Wow. That Means that Any and All Condoms Are Completely and Irrevocably Broken." Issei Said.

"Where Does That Leave Your Confidence for Intercourse?" Asia Said. "Ah, No Rush. I Can Cope with it."

Issei Replied. Issei Found an Aglet on the Ground, and Tossed at Raynare. "Grand Vizier! What's this

Wonderful Thing I'm Holding in My Hand?" Raynare Asked. "An Aglet, Your Sexiness." Freed Replied.

"An "Aglet", Eh? Okay Then…" Raynare Replied. Meanwhile, an Auto Idol Turned Active, and the Voice

Said "Salutations, Everyone. This is Raynare the Beautiful Speaking. I'd Like to Make It Clear, that Aglets

Are Now the Most Favored thing in the World. Just Thought You Should Know.", Before Deactivating.

"Asia, Do You Have any Aglets?" Issei Said. "Here. This One's from one of Your Old School Shoes." Asia

Replied, as She Gave Issei an Aglet. "Let's Go to the Gift Vault!" Issei Said, as they Walked over to the

Gift Vault. Standing in Front of a Well-Kept Temple, They Found Koneko's Older Sister, Kuroka, Guarding

the Vault. As She Saw Issei, She Eyed Him with a Shrewd Grin. "Hey! Haven't I Seen You Somewhere

Before?" Issei Asked. "Long Time, No See, Red Dragon Emperor." Kuroka Replied. "That Portion of My

Life is Over. I'm a Harem King, Now." Issei Said. "Oh. My Bad." Kuroka Said. "Asia's in a Bit of a Funk. Can

You Help Me?" Issei Asked. "Sorry. Too Busy Guarding the Vault." Kuroka Replied. "I See You've Gotten

Over Koneko." Issei Said. "Hey. If Shirone Really Doesn't Want to Come with Me, I Won't Force Her."

Kuroka Replied. "All I Have to Do is Guard the Vault and Take Gifts into this Totally Impenetrable

Temple. It's a Very Satisfying Role I Relish." Kuroka Said. "How Go the Offerings?" Issei Said. "Eh, You

Know How it is. It's a Tough Economy, and General Contributions Go Down the Drain." Kuroka Replied.

"Even Gifts to Queen Raynare?" Issei Asked, in Shock. "I Know, Right? She Controls the Sky, Brings Life to

Creatures Everywhere, People let a Little thing, like a Double-Dip Reception stop 'em from Paying Their

Respects. "Yeah it's a Weird World, All Right. Notice Anything Different About Me?" Issei Asked. "For

Starters, You're Wearing a Suit and a Crown…" Kuroka Said. "Anything Else?" Issei Asked. "Well I'LL Be!

You Got Yourself a Badge of Loyalty! You Must've Bagged Some Heretics, Huh?" Kuroka Responded. "It

MIGHT Have Been a Misunderstanding. I'm Not Saying it is, but it Might." Issei Responded. "Yeah, That's

What They Always Say." Kuroka Responded. "Raynare is Sexy! Raynare is Cute!" Issei Shouted. "When

We Think of Raynare, We Give a Big Salute!" Kuroka Shouted, as She and Issei Both Saluted. "Raynare is

Deadly! Raynare is Grand.". Issei Shouted. "The Nakedness of Queen Raynare is More than We Can

Stand!" Kuroka Shouted, as She and Issei both Knelt. "I'd Like to Give a Gift to Raynare." Issei Said. "You

Would? Well I Can't Accept Just ANYTHING. The Omnipotent Leader is Kinda Picky. Whatcha Got?"

Kuroka Asked. "Issei Gave an Aglet to Kuroka. "Is That What I Think it is?!" Kuroka Asked, in Shock. "You

Know it! It's an Aglet." Issei Said. "Queen Raynare Will LOVE This. But Aglets Have Been Pretty Scarce

Since the Purging. Where'd You Get This One?" Kuroka Asked. "I Hide Some Things I Don't Want People

to See in My Bra—No One in their Right MIND Would Look There." Asia Replied. "Pretty Clever. Lemme

Just Stow this in the Vault." Kuroka Said as She Entered the Temple. Raynare Flew to Issei and Said.

"Issei Hyodo. As Thanks for Your One-Of-A-Kind Gift, It's My Pleasure to Give You One of My Accessories

of Privilege. The MEDALLION…OF SUPERLATIVE TITHING!" Raynare Shouted. "Gee, I Don't Know What to

Say, My Liege." Issei Said, Attaching the Medallion to His Crown. "a Simple "Thank You" Would be

Appropriate, Stupid." Raynare Replied. "Thank You, Queen Raynare." Issei Replied, "Now If You'll Excuse

Me…" Raynare Said, as She Prepared to Soar Back to the Church. "Keep Up the Good Work!" Issei Said.

"Thank You." Raynare Said, Flying Away. A Magic Circle appeared around Asia's Head. "Good Job, Asia!"

Xenovia Said Through the Magic Circle. "Yikes!" Asia Replied. "Something Wrong?" Issei Said. "Just a

Headache." Asia Said. "We're Sending a Rebel to it's Place as We Speak. Gather one more Accessory of

Privilege so that Issei Can Get Near Raynare." Xenovia Said. "I'm on it!" Asia Said, Before the Magic Circle

Dissipated. "Are You Talking Out Loud to Yourself Again?" Issei Asked. "Um… Yeah, That's it. Sorry. Got

Lost in the Moment." Asia Said Nonchalantly.

Chapter 12: The Gamble

"Where Should We Go Next?" Issei Said, Before Asia Gestured in the General Direction of the Church.

Issei Once Again, looked at the Statue and Said "That's the Biggest Statue I've EVER Seen!", Before Asia

Pulled out a Credit Card, and Defaced the Statue Again. "Your School Friends and I Used to Be So Much

Closer. Maybe We Should Take Some Time to Catch Up." "Good Idea." Issei Said. I Also Don't Know if it's

the 25% Annual Interest Rate, But I'm Feeling a mite Peckish Right Now." Asia Said. ""A Mite Peckish"?

Have You Been Watching British TV Again?" Issei Asked. "Can't Help it. The Short Seasons Appeal to My

Short Attention Span. "AGAIN!? What is it This Time?!" Raynare Yelled. "A Credit Card." Freed Replied.

"A "Credit Card", Eh. Fine Then.". Raynare Said. "Meanwhile, an Auto Idol Activated and Said. "Listen Up

Everyone, This Is Raynare! Forget What I Told You Before! From Now On, "Credit Cards" Are My Least

Favorite Thing EVER! So If You See a Credit Card and Want to Make Me Happy, Rip it to Shreds. That's All

for Now, before the idol Deactivated. "What Happened?" Asia Asked. "I Think You Just Ruined the

Foundations of Our Economy. "Oops." Asia Replied. Finding a Rock in the Middle of the Grass on the

School Grounds, Issei Took a Running Start, Gripping Asia Tightly, and He Dashed and Jumped and Rolled

Over it. "Sorry. I Always Wanted to Try That.". Matsuda and Motohama Were Peeking at the Girl's

Changing Room. "They're Still at it." Issei Said, as They walked towards the Perverted Boys. "Hey, Guys.

How's it Hanging?" Issei Asked. "You BASTARD!" Motohama Shouted as He Proceeded to Punch Issei,

When Asia Intervened. Asia Slapped Motohama in the Cheek and Yelled "Normally I'm a Pacifist, But I

Had to Do That. You Really Shouldn't Be Bullying Him! Now Be Nice While We Talk to You." Asia Scolded.

"Sorry." Matsuda Said. "Queen Raynare Sure is the Bee's Knees, Isn't She?" Issei Asked. "You Know it.

Take a Look at This!" As Matsuda Pointed at A Pendant. "A Couple More of These, and I'll be Hobnobbin'

With Raynare Herself!" Motohama Said. "Raynare is Sexy! Raynare is Cute!" Issei Shouted. "When

We Think of Raynare, We Give a Big Salute!" Motohama and Matsuda Shouted in Unison, as they

Saluted. "Raynare is Deadly! Raynare is Grand.". Issei Shouted. "The Nakedness of Queen Raynare is

More than We Can Stand!" Matsuda and Motohama Shouted in Unison as They, and Issei All Knelt.

"Hey. You Like Asia as a Friend, Right?". "A Little. What About it?" Matsuda Asked. "Can You Help Her

Out of Her Little Funk?". Issei Asked. "Unless She Likes Peeping on Naked Girls, then if She Wants Help

from Us, she is S.O.L." Motohama Said. "I Understand That, But THAT is Some Sweet Raynare-Themed

Pendant You Got There." Issei Said. "Just So We're Clear, I Find the Idea of Raynare's Face being on an

Object, Absolutely Scary and Gross." Asia Said. "Noted." Issei Said. "Not Just any Pendant. I This Here's

the Pendant of Inquisition. I Got This from The Big "R" Herself!" Motohama Said. "What for?" Issei

Asked. "Checking the Orifices of 20,000 Guests at the Security Checkpoint of Her Annual Soiree."

Matsuda Answered. "I Bet You Managed to Check the Thatches and Boobs of the Female Guests, Too."

Issei Whispered with a Lewd Face. "You Know it. The Girls Were Embarrassed at First, but We Told them

it was a Formality. They Asked Me Why it was a Formality and I Said "Hail, Raynare!", before they Passed

Through, and They'd Say "Hail, Raynare" Too." Matsuda Explained. "Clever AND Classy!" Issei Said,

Laughing. "PLEASE Tell Me You Won't Do That." Asia Said. "Gambling, Eh? I Thought You Were Just

Perverts Like Me." Issei Said. "We're Wagering on Which Girl's Going to Take off Her Whatchamacallit…

Bra First!" Matsuda Explained. "Betting?" Issei Asked. "Yeah. Of Course We Don't Actually See Whose

Boobs Are Biggest. To Us, They're ALL The Same." Motohama Explained. "That is SO '90s." Issei Said.

When We See Girls Changing in There, They're Boobs Are Clearly Visible. In Fact, our Neural Hard Drives

Are Almost Full!" Matsuda Said. "Before Each Group Enters, We Make Bets on Who's Going to Take off

Her Bra First!". "Sounds Fascinating." Issei Said. "More Like DISGUSTING." Asia Muttered to Herself.

"Play Along, Asia. Can I Lay a Bet?" Issei Said. "Hey! Get a Load a' This One! The "High n' Mighty" Harem

King, Issei Hyodo Would Like to Lay a Bet!". Motohama Said. "Bring 'im On! More Yen for Us!" Matsuda

Said. "So, Let's See… Who is it This Time?" Motohama Asked. "Looks Like Katase, Murayama, and

Koneko." Matsuda Said. "So, Um, who do You Wanna Bet On?" Motohama Asked. "20,000 Smackers on

Koneko-Chan!" Issei Said. "I'm Bettin' 50,000 Big Boys on Katase!" Matsuda Said. "I Think I'll Bet 70,000

Yen on Murayama. 'Scuse Me. Gotta Go Get Some Cash. Be Right Back." Motohama Said. Issei and

Matsuda Gasped Appallingly, as Issei Screamed in Shock. "Uh Oh." Motohama Said. "a CREDIT CARD?!".

"Queen Raynare HATES Credit Cards!" Matsuda Shouted Angrily. "PULVERIZE IT!" Issei Shouted, as they

Reached for the Credit Card. "Now Guys…" Motohama Said, Nervously. Issei Tore the Credit Card Apart.

"No! Now What'll I Bet?!" Motohama Said. "Shh! They'll Notice Us!" Matsuda Said. "Why Don't You Bet

That Pendant of Yours." Issei Said. "But it Was a GIFT!" Matsuda Said. "Look at it This Way! If You Win,

You'll Win the Pendant, And All of the Wagered Yen!" Issei Said. "Good Point. I'm In." Matsuda Said,

Throwing in the Pendant.". "All Right, Friends-o'-Mine! Let's See Whose Guess is Correct!". "Since When

do YOU Bet?" Asia Asked. "None of Your Business." Issei Said. "Sorry. Just, Thought I'd Ask." Asia

Replied. Meanwhile in the Changing Room, Koneko Clenched Her Fists and Asked "Someone's Peeping!

Let's Beat them to a Pulp!" Katase Shouted. "No! I Think They Already Fought Themselves Over a Credit

Card. A Fight Like That is Punishment Enough." Murayama Replied. "So? What's Wrong with a Credit

Card?" Koneko Asked Sternly. "Raynare Hates Credit Cards. She Said to Tear Any Credit Cards We Find,

To Pieces." Katase Said. "Makes Sense. You're Right. Let's Carry On, Then." Koneko Said, Relieved. "Plus,

if we Come Near Issei Again, He'll Snarl at Us again!". Murayama Said. "Why Did He Snarl at You?"

Koneko Asked, In Confusion. "He Was Apparently Angry Because of Rias' Death, and We Were about to

Pummel those Other 2 Perverted Stooges, When Issei Butted in, and Started Snarling at Us, and

Pestering Us with Questions. He Scared Us Out of Our Wits." Katase Sobbed. "Easy. Don't Get Your

Panties in a Twist. Calm Down. You're Being Ridiculous!" Murayama Said. "Yeah. I'm Just as Sad as You

Are, But You Don't See ME Crying about it." Koneko Said, Removing Her Bra. "You Gotta Love the Size of

Katase's Breasts! Too Bad I Didn't Get the Rest Right.". Matsuda Said. "Aw Man! I Thought for SURE It

Would be Murayama This Time!" Motohama Shouted. Issei Chuckled and Grabbed the Pendant.

"NOOOOO!" Motohama Said. "Keep The Yen—The Pendant's All I Want." Issei Said. "Works for Us. See

Ya." Matsuda Said, as He and Motohama Left. "Finally! I Have 3 Accessories of Privilege. This Means We

Can Get Closer to the Queen Herself!" A Magic Circle Appeared Around Asia's Left Ear. "You DID it! Go to

The Church, Bring Excalibur Close, and We'll Do the Rest." Xenovia Said, Through The Magic Circle. Asia

Screamed for a Split Second. "What's Wrong?" Issei Said. "I'm Just Easily Startled." Asia Said,

Nonchalantly.

Chapter 13: Infiltrating The Inner Circle

Issei Took Asia to The Church and Notices Koneko Stalling Baraquiel. "That Rebel is Sure Holding Her

Own against Baraquiel!" Issei Said. "Who Knew That This Bruce Lee Over There Fighting Against

Baraquiel was hiding the Skills of Jackie Chan?" Asia Asked. "I Don't Think Bruce Lee Was a Ninja." Issei

Replied. Koneko Managed to Knock Baraquiel's Left Arm, Which Was Carrying his Khopesh into the Air,

calling a Lightning Strike Downwards Directly On Raynare's Statue, Finally Demolishing it. Appalled Gasps

Filled the Room. "Vizier Sellzen! Are My Eyes Playing Tricks on Me, Or Did a Lightning Bolt from the Sky

Ruin My Statue?" Raynare Asked, Sternly. "Looks Like it." Freed Replied. "Fine, Then." Meanwhile, an

Auto Idol Activated, and The Voice Said. "Listen Up, Everyone! This is Raynare! Never Mind What I Said

Before!", Before Raynare Groaned in Exasperation, Facepalming. "I Have Had It Up to HERE with Those

Stinking Lightning Storms Wrecking My City. If You See a Lightning Storm, Report it to Grand Vizier

Sellzen NOW! That's All for Now." The Idol Voice Continued before Deactivating. "A Dictator against

Horrible Weather Eh? How Ironic." Asia Said. "I Hope She Goes After America! I Hate Those Yanks!" Issei

Said. Issei Goes to The Grand Vizier, who Says "Hold it Right There, Buckos! I Already Told You! No One's

Allowed in the Fallen Angel-Queen's Inner Circle Except for Members of the Inner Circle Itself. "We Have

Accessories of Privilege, You Know." Issei Said. "Hmph! Looks Like Raynare Will Give Out Accessories of

Privilege to ANYONE These Days. Fine Then. Meanwhile, and Auto Idol Activated. "Citizens of New

Luxor! I am Proud to Make It Clear that Issei Hyodo and Asia Argento are Welcome into the Inner Circle

of the Fallen Angel-Queen Raynare, Breather of Life, and Queen of Sex!", before the Idol Deactivated.

"Welcome, Issei. Asia. Try Not to Bother the Queen—She's a Busy Fallen Angel." Freed Advised Issei.

Issei Walked over to the Throne, Where Raynare Sat. "I Can't WAIT to Bask in Raynare's Glory! I Hope I

Don't Drool Too Much." Issei Muttered. "Thank You for Granting Me Access to the Inner Circle, Your

Majesty." Issei Said, Bowing before Raynare. The Swivel Throne Turned toward Issei, Revealing Raynare,

sitting on Her Throne, Masturbating Naked with a Semen-Coated Cobra inside Her Vagina. "I See She

Went with the Swivel Throne. Interesting Choice." Issei Thought. "Yeah, It's a Real Honor! Now Shut

Your Mouth! I'm Watching the Fight!" Raynare Said, Pushily. "But-" Issei Continued. "Oops. I Mean

"Shh. Not Now. I'm Busy." Raynare Interrupted. "She Talked to Me for the First time in Years! Maybe I

Should Make Myself Scarce." Issei Thought. "Raynare, My Queen. I Have Something You Might Be

Looking for." Issei Said, Holding Out Excalibur. Koneko Leapt into the Air, landing a Mid-Air Axe-Kick on

Baraquiel's Head, using it as a Stepping Stone to Evade the Rope, Guarding the Contrition Pit, before,

Landing Hand-First on the Floor, flipping into the Air, Grabbing the Holy Sword, preparing to Stab

Raynare in the Torso, after Having Tackled Her. "Auf Wiedersehen, Schweinhund! (Literal Translation:

Good-Bye, Pig-Dog")" Before Being Yanked Away by Issei as He Said "WHOA! Hey, Now! Be Careful with

That Sword!". "Issei, NO!" Asia Screamed. "Let Go of Me, You Freaking Pervert!" Koneko Protested.

"Good Job, Issei. Now Take this, And Finish off this Assassin!" Raynare Ordered with a Sickening Grin, as

She Fondled Her Breasts, as they Increasingly Glowed with a Sickly Green Aura. Isn't that a Bit Too

Harsh? How About We Just Slap Her with 5,000 Years in Prison?" Issei Suggested. "KILL HER!" Raynare

Yelled. "NO! Don't be a Jerk, Issei!" Asia Said, Worryingly. Issei Shook His Hand, looked at the Sword,

pondered for a few Minutes, and Couldn't Bring Himself to Kill Koneko. "I'm Deeply Sorry. I Can't Do it,

My Queen." Issei Said, With a Gloomy Voice and a Sorrowful Look on His Face. "WHAT?! ARE YOU

FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Raynare Screamed Angrily, With Her Fangs Exposed. Koneko Laughed at

Raynare as She Escaped. "FREED! How Could You Let Her Escape?!" Raynare Said, In a Scolding Tone.

"I'm So Sorry, Your Coolness. Please Forgive Me! I Beg You! I Won't Do It Again." Freed Sobbed, as He

Grovelled. "And YOU! You Let Me Down for the First and ONLY time, Issei. Into the Pit of Contrition

with You. "Yes, your Wonderfulness." Issei Said, in a Sad, Gloomy Voice.

Chapter 14: Issei Vs Baraquiel

Baraquiel Cackled Maniacally. "Finally! I've Wanted to do This for a Very Long Time!" Baraquiel Said,

With a Sickening Grin. "Let the Punishment…COMMENCE!" Raynare Said, With an Evil Grin. "Why Didn't

You Like Me in the First Place?" Issei Asked Confused. "None of Your Business!" "Blah…Blah…BLAH! Just

Shut Up and FIGHT ALREADY!" Raynare Shouted Angrily. "Right, Your Gloriousness!" Baraquiel Said,

Moving into a Defensive Stance. "Yes, Your Sexiness!" Issei Said, Before Eyeing Baraquiel with a

Confident Grin, Punching Both of His Hands Together. Baraquiel Swung His Khopesh at Issei. Issei Reeled

Back, But Not Enough to Keep the Khopesh from Tearing a Hole in his Trench Coat, and Fencing Shirt.

"Let Me See What You're Made of!" Raynare Yelled. Issei Yelled for a Split Second, Before Leaning

Backwards, Touching the Ground with His Hands and Feet On the Ground with His Back Facing the

Ground, Sweeping His Left Leg in an Arc. "Wha? Ha!" Baraquiel Said, as He Sidestepped the Sweeping

A Karate Yell Escaped from His Lips, as He Swung His Electric Khopesh at Issei, and Said "A CHILD Could

See THAT Move Coming!", Before Sweeping His Khopesh at Issei, Knocking Him to the Wall, but Quickly

Recovering. A Karate Yell Burst from Issei's Lips as He Swung Excalibur in an Inward Arc at Baraquiel,

Who Easily Dodged the Holy Sword and Laughed Maniacally as He Spun in a Circle, Emitting a

Shockwave, Electrocuting Issei for a Brief Moment. "Your Efforts Are Laughably Futile!" Baraquiel Said,

Before Chuckling Derisively. "Are You Making FUN of Me?!" Issei Yelled. "Maybe." Baraquiel Responded.

"Hey Grandpa!" Issei Shouted Derisively. "WHAT?!" Baraquiel Shouted, Angrily. "Are You Sure You Don't

Wanna Take a Break?" Issei asked Mockingly. "Why?" Baraquiel Asked, Giving Issei the Cold Shoulder.

"Well, It'll Be 6:00 Soon, and I Wouldn't Want You to Miss the Senior Dinner Discount at the Marigold

Tavern and Café. Issei Replied, Mockingly. Baraquiel Roared Furiously, and Swung Wildly at Issei Before

Accidently Hitting the Support Column in the Middle of the Arena. "You Clumsy Shit! Do You Know How

Much that Architecture Costs?!" Freed Yelled. "I Can't Believe You're Doing Freed's Dirty Work!" Issei

Shouted. "What are You Talking About?!" Growled Baraquiel. "I Don't See YOU Getting Sweaty from

Killing Hutch, Kiryu, and Those Other Humans." Issei Replied. "The Only Thing HE's Good for is Feeding

Me More Grapes after My Battles!" Baraquiel Yelled. "Hey!" Freed Replied. "I Bet Raynare REALLY

Appreciates How Well You Follow the Work of a Priest Who Barks Orders at Church Believers Too

STUPID to Find a Church Elsewhere, and is Absolute CRAP at Treating You with Respect!" Issei Yelled

Mockingly. "Sellzen?! That Two-Bit Priest Isn't Worthy to Pick Nits Out of My Wings Like Akeno Used to

as a Little Girl When We Bathed Together. "Like I CARE! Freed Told Me—Wait, What?" Issei asked.

"Louse Eggs." Asia Explained, Before Issei Groaned in Disgust. "Don't You DARE Mention that Spineless

Cretin in My Presence!" Baraquiel Yelled. Freed Growled in Response. "Are the Humans Giving You a

Good Time?" Issei Asked. "Don't Be Ridiculous! Those Miscreants Barely Get My Pulse Racing! It's All I

Can Do to NOT Double over Laughing When I Chase Them Running Around the Arena." Baraquiel Said,

Derisively, Before Humans Reached Their Arms Up Protesting., "How DARE You!" Raynare Yelled

Furiously, With Her Massive Bosom Completely Engorged with Power, Before Shooting Acid from Her

Nipples at the Human Prisoners, before they Groaned in Pain, as they Were Knocked Back Underground.

Baraquiel Swung at Issei with his Khopesh, But Issei Dodged, and Said "Ha! I Was Prepared, This Time!".

Issei Fired his Magic Pistol at Baraquiel, Who Split into Multiple Ravens, to Dodge the Shots, before

Returning to His Normal Form. "Hey, Baraquiel!" Issei Said. "WHAT NOW?!" Baraquiel Yelled.

"Uhhhhhh…." Issei Groaned, Drawing a Blank. "Don't Just Stand There Like a Drooling Human! Hit Me!

Before Striking Issei Again. "I Can Almost Smell the Blood." Raynare Said, Contently. Issei Drew Another

Blank, Before Baraquiel Said "Come Now, Issei. At Least TRY to Give the Omnipotent Fallen-Angel-Queen

a Few Minutes of Entertainment." Baraquiel Said, Before Striking Downward, in a Hammer-like Fashion,

releasing an Electric Knife, Launching Issei to the Wall, Before Rebounding and Landing Safely, releasing

a Wild War Cry, accompanied by Baraquiel Laughing Maniacally. Issei Drew Another Blank, Before

Baraquiel Said, in Surprise "By the Continuously Growing Bosom of Serafall! You're Almost as Pathetic as

the Humans, Before Shooting a Lightning Bolt from His Unarmed Hand, Laughing Maniacally, as Issei is

Disoriented for a Brief Moment. "Well Played." Raynare Said, With Sadistic Glee. "Stop Me If You've

Heard This One Before:" Before Striking Him Again, Shouting "Ha! Made You Listen!". Issei Draws

Another Blank, as Baraquiel Unfurls His Wings and Soars in a Circle Around the Arena, Summoning a

Lightning Bolt Upon Issei, as Raynare Laughed Evilly. "Asia, A Little Help Here?" Issei Asked. "It Sure Hurt

You When You Got Dumped, Huh?" Asia Asked. "What are You Talking About?" Baraquiel Asked. "You

Know, When He Backstabbed You?!" Asia Responded in a Sassy Tone. "Lies! Slander! Falsehoods!"

Baraquiel Yelled. "You Want Backstabbed?! I'll Show You Backstabbed, Old Man!" Freed Yelled, as He

Fired His Pistol at Baraquiel, which Connected with His Eyes, Blinding him. "Vision…Impaired…Can't

See." Groaned Baraquiel. "Looks Like You're Going to Win!" Asia Said, Excitedly. "That's Very—Ow—

Encouraging." Issei Said, as He Was Nicked in The Shoulder by Lightning, before being Punched Twice

and Being Stabbed by the tip of the Khopesh. "Still Standing, Eh?" I'm Impressed!" Baraquiel Said. "If

That's All It Takes, Then You'll Be Amazed When I Kick Your Blacksteel Covered Keister!" Issei Shouted,

as He Kicked Baraquiel in the Stomach. Baraquiel Gasped and Then Groaned in Pain as He Was Knocked

Back. Issei Brandished His Fist as Baraquiel Shouted "A Worthy Strike, Issei, But Your Blows Cannot

Topple Me! Thunder Shot!" Baraquiel Shouted as an Electric Beam Shot from His Khopesh, Nailing Issei

in the Stomach, Knocking Him Back. "If You Want Me to Distract Baraquiel or Raynare, Just Gesture in

my General Direction, and I'll do the Rest. "You Shouldn't Be Fighting at Your Age, You Old Fogey! You'll

Hurt Yourself!" Issei Said, Mockingly. "You Want Injured! I'll Give You Injured!" Baraquiel Shouted, as He

Swung at the Support Pole. "Stop Wrecking My Church, You BASTARD!" Raynare Yelled. Raynare

Continued Protesting Indistinctly, as Issei Yelled "Are There Any Humans That Gave You a Good Fight?"

Issei Asked Mockingly. "Well, That Ill-Tempered Silvery-Haired Midget Had SOME Fight in Her.

Considerably More than The Rest of the Humans I've Fought." Baraquiel Replied. Right When Human

Hands Emerged, Issei Pointed at Raynare. "My Father Broke Your Heart When He Broke the Alliance,

Didn't He?!" Asia Yelled. "Freed Didn't Break the Alliance, Asia! I DID! I Broke Up with Him!" Raynare

Yelled. "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Freed Yelled as He Fired 9 Shots from His Pistol at Raynare. The

First Shot Connected with Her Vaginal Snake. The Second Shot Connected with Her Left Shoulder. The

Third Shot Hit Her Right Shoulder. The Fourth Shot Hit Her Cleavage. The Fifth Shot Nailed Her Backside.

The Sixth Shot Hit Her Between the Eyes. The Seventh Shot Connected with Her Forehead. "The Eighth

Shot Connected with Her Left Hand. Raynare Tried to Dodge the Ninth Shot, But Accidently Ended Up

with Her Ankles Grazed. "Don't EVER do that Again." Raynare Yelled. "You're The One Who Insulted

Me." Freed Said. "Sorry. I Didn't Know You Were Sensitive About Who Broke Up the Alliance." Raynare

Said, Apologetically." This Distraction Gave Issei the Split Second He Needed to Retaliate. Issei Lifted His

Right Leg, and Spun it in a 360 Degree Angle, Which Connected with Baraquiel's Hip. "Ha! Roundhouse!"

Issei Said, Triumphantly, As Baraquiel Fell to the Grate, With Human Hands Beating Him Down. Baraquiel

Groaned in Pain. "Finish Him!" Asia Shouted. As Issei Lumbered Towards Him, Issei Raised Excalibur, as

Raynare Growled in Frustration, With Issei Giving Baraquiel a Smug Look, He Swung His Fist and

Excalibur Back and Forth Repeatedly as He Shouted "I … Have Had!... Enough! Of You!". After Which,

Baraquiel Laid Unconscious. "I Knew You Could Do it, Issei-Kun! Even Though, being a Devil, I Might Have

Secretly Placed Some Side Bets Against You." Asia Said. "I Couldn't Have Done It Without You, Asia. Who

Knew Both Raynare and Baraquiel Would Be So Sensitive About Getting Dumped by Freed.

Chapter 15: Issei Vs Freed

"That's It! I've Had About Enough of Your Crap! I Challenge You, to a Quick Draw!" Freed Yelled,

stepping into the Pit with a Practised Fighting Stance, Brandishing His Pistol and Sword, Excalibur Speed.

Issei Pulled Out His Pistol, as they Stood Across from Each other. "Don't Let Him Break You, Issei! Your

Name is Issei Hyodo. Your Address is 62 Dragon Rd. Your Phone Number is 204-170-535-005-1331. Your

Favourite Color is Red. You Have a Penis Infection. Focus on the Vizier! Don't Let Him Shoot You!" Issei

Thought. "Stay Strong, Sellzen. You Can't Let Anyone Know That You're CRYING inside!" 15 Long Glances

Later, Both Guns Fired. Issei Focused the Spirit of Ddraig into Excalibur, allowing Him to use the Power of

the Reflecting Sacred Gear Mirror Alice, to Reflect the Bullet with Double Effectiveness, With Both Shots

Connecting with Freed's Shoulders. Freed Transmogrifies into His Chimera Form, Unleashing His More

Bestial Side. "Even Though Ddraig's Dead, I Still Have a Small Portion of His Power in My Hand! You

Know What That Means?" Issei Asked. "Don't Know, Don't Care." Freed Said. "It's a FIGHTIN' Hand!"

Issei Replied, in a Southern Accent. "That Was a Terrible Accent, Issei." Asia Said. "Maybe You Should Let

Me Concentrate, because Distracting Me is not Helping." Issei Said. "If You Need Help. Call My Name."

Asia Replied. "Got it." Issei Said. "For Asia?" Freed Asked. "For Asia" Issei Replied, As They Both Readied

Their Respective Swords. Issei Clashed Blades with Freed, But Freed Kicked Issei Behind Him, Before

Laughing at Him. After 3 More Sword Clashes, Freed Dashed at Issei Using His Pistol as a Battering Ram,

Knocking Him Backward. "Look Out!" Asia Said, As Freed Swung Downward with Excalibur Speed. "Oh.

Thank You." Issei Replied, as He Dodged, and Clashed Blades Yet Again, only for Freed to Strike Him in

the Shoulder with The Bladed Tips on His Mutated Elbows, Causing Issei to Grunt in Pain for a second,

before Recovering. Using the Power of Excalibur Destruction, He Said "Let's Take This Underground!"

Before Destroying the Floor, Taking Raynare, an Unconscious Baraquiel, and Asia with Him. As Freed

Lunged, Roaring as He Neared Issei, They Continued to Clash Blades, until Freed Bit Issei in the Shoulder,

with his Enlarged, Sharpened Teeth. Issei Groaned in Pain, but Still Recovered, but then Freed Clawed

Issei in the Forehead. "Get Away from Me!" Issei Shouted, as He Thrusted Excalibur Forward, Extending the Blade, Using the Power of Excalibur Mimic to Strike Freed in the Chest. Freed and Issei Lunged at Each other, Roaring as they Came and Clashed for a Straight Ten Seconds, before Being Kicked to the Ground and Having His Right Hand Chopped off. Freed Laughed Maniacally. "You Cut My Hand Off. I Have Found Another Meaning to My Existence in Addition to Being a Harem King: I am a Warrior! I can Count Myself Lucky, 'Cause, It Just So Happens that I Have One Half of Twilight Healing. In Other Words, Asia Only Needs a Minimum of one Half to Survive, As He Used Twilight Healing to Regenerate His Hand, and Grab Excalibur Yet Again. "Incredible." Freed Said in Horror. I Am a Warrior and a Harem King! I Have Finally Become a High-Class Devil with the Ability to Use the Abilities of Other Sacred Gears and/or Holy/Devil Swords! Am I Right, Asia?" Issei Asked. "No Argument from Me!". Asia Said. "Wanna Know the Best Bit?" Issei Said. Freed Shook His Head Nervously. "It's a Powerful Ability!" Issei Replied, lunging at Freed, as they Clashed Once More. This Time, With Issei Gaining the Upper Hand, Shouting "Promotion! Rook!", Doing a Handstand Followed by a Spinning Kick. "That is SUCH a Jackie Chan Move." Asia Said. Issei Lunged at Freed, before being Stopped by the tip of the Blade being held against Issei's Neck. Issei Ducked, though The Blade Scraped through Issei's Trench Coat Collar. Issei Kicked Freed in the Torso, before Freed Spun in a Circle with His Blade Extended Forward. Issei Ducked, then Guarded, as a Defensive Measure. They Clashed Continuously before Freed Leapt High into the Air to Dodge a Stab by Excalibur. Issei Clashed with Freed Before Pummeling Him with the Pommel of Excalibur and Stealing Excalibur Speed, and Slashing Freed Across the chest, Knocking Him Down, and Holding Both Blades against His Neck. "Looks Like I Win!" Issei Said. "You Are a Master Tactician, Issei Hyodo. I've Done Asia Wrong. Please Kill Me. But Do Me One Last Favor. Deal with Raynare. There are Several Girls Waiting for You, which are Yours, if you win. Among Them Are, One of the Rebels, a Teenaged Nekomata, and A Teenaged Church Believer-Turned-Devil Who Wants to Make a Baby with You. Please Kill Me! I Capitulate! I Surrender!" Freed Shouted in Fear. "I'll Accept Your Offer on ONE Condition: Leave Asia Alone! Or Else Any Further Harm You Deal to Her Will Be Given to You Ten TIMES as Much on Your Head. Oh Wait! You Already Raped Her Once! Remember?" Issei Said. "Yes. I Did a Bad Thing! Please Kill Me. I Beg You." Freed Said. Issei Thrust Excalibur Speed into Freed's Torso. "God Bless You…Hyodo Issei!". "You've Been a Bad Priest, but a Good Sport about the Fight." Issei Replied. Raynare Frowned, but Then Freed Recovered, and Lunged Behind Him, But Issei used Forbidden Balor View to Freeze Freed in Place. "What a Moron! Did You REALLY Think I Hadn't Already Prepared for That? "No Second Chances." That's My Philosophy! It's Just the Sort of Guy I am When It Comes to Swordfighting." Issei Said, Mocking Him, before Fatally Stabbing Him in the Chest, as Revenge for His Inaction of Raping Asia. Freed's Body Suddenly Dissipated into Nothingness. "Bravo! Outstanding! Way to Go, Issei!" Asia Said. "I Was the World Fencing Champion, Representing Japan, During my Early Teenage Years. Years of Experience with Swordfighting. "Amazing!" Asia Said. "I Know, Right."

Chapter 16: Issei Vs. Raynare

Asia Knelt and Started Praying. Shouting "By The Ancient Rites of Combat, I Forbid Raynare, The Bane of Heaven's Angels, to Walk this Universe until it is Devoured by the Flames of our Exploding Sun.", Before Getting on Her Feet, and Admonishing Her, By Shouting "IF you Choose to Tell Your Kind About the Human World, or The Underworld, of its inhabitants, its Etiquette, its Fauna, its Resources, its Riches, its Potential, If You Talk About the Human World or the Underworld in any way Whatsoever, MAKE SURE you Tell Devils and Humans Everywhere This: THEY…ARE…DEFENDED! As A Devil Walking Among Humans I Hereby Command You to Leave This Universe Forthwith, Forewarned About the Parliament of Canada, the American Confederacy, As Sanctioned by United States President, The Honorable Barack Hussein Obama II, The Power of the Gods of Olympus, the Way of Sun Wukong, and Most importantly the VALLHALLANS, Under the Leadership of Odin, The Rightful Ruler of Asgard. NOW WITHDRAW FROM THIS UNIVERSE FORTHWITH! That is to say, In Peace." Unfortunately, Raynare Spit on the Ground and Laughed Derisively and Said "Funny Stuff, Asia, But I'm an Anarchist.", Before Facepalming and Assuming Her Serious Expression, in Retaliation, to Prepare to do Battle with Her Old Nemesis—The Harem King and High-Ranking Devil Warrior, Issei Hyodo, Who Ironically, is Unusually Nervous about Harming Her. "Do I Have to do EVERYTHING Around Here?!" Raynare Yelled as She Flew down to the Underground of the Contrition Pit. "Fine! If My Champion or my Grand Vizier Can't Beat You, I'll Take You Out Myself!", She Said, as She Tossed Baraquiel Aside, to Make Room for Her Entrance. "Now! Kill Me If You Can!" Raynare Shouted. Issei Raised Excalibur, but then Lowered it and said "I Can't Do it, My Liege.". "That's More Like it." Raynare Said, Before Cackling Maniacally, While Releasing a Gust of Wind from Her Fingertips, Pushing Issei Away, before Raynare Started Ejaculating Yet Again. "Kill Her!" Asia Shouted. Issei Tried to Strike Raynare Down, but He Couldn't Bring Himself to Do So. Raynare Swung Her Light-Based Polearm at Issei, Knocking Him Down, before He Recovered. "I Was Right! This is Fun!" Raynare Said, Sadistically. "Raynare, You're Really…" Issei Said, Smugly. "Yes?" Raynare Replied, Fondling Her Breasts, Until They Were Engorged with Acid. "A Helluva Bitch!" Issei Said, With His Frown turned Upside Down. "Raynare's Ejaculation Rate Continued to Rise, As She Melted Issei's Left Arm with Acid, shot from Her Nipples, and Giggled Derisively. "Asia. I Need Help." Issei Shouted. Asia Uses Raynare's Ill-Timed Masturbating Period to Come Up with a Plan. "What to do…. Come on, Asia, You Can Do this…." Asia Thought Before Saying "Any Ideas?". "I Was Hoping You'd Have Some." Issei Said. Raynare Controlled Her Vaginal Snake by Masturbating, Using that as a Command for it to Bite Issei. "Are You All Right?" Asia Asked. "Yeah, But Now I Smell Like Semen. She Has a Tendency to Fondle Her Breasts, suckle on Her Breasts, or Masturbate, To Either Control Her Powers or Fulfill her Ecstatic Condition. "Ick! Anyway. You Know What I Could Go for Right Now? A Date!" Asia Said. "Not Helping, Asia!" Issei Said, Before Being Impaled in the Legs by 2 Light Spears. "Raynare is Stupid! Raynare is Lame!" Asia Shouted. "You're Next, Asia!" Raynare Yelled, Before Spitting Acid from Her Mouth, after Having Sucked Her Breasts. "Raynare is Sexy! Raynare is Cute!" Asia Shouted. "When We Think of Raynare, We Give a Big Salute!" Issei Shouted, As He Saluted, as Raynare Swerved out of the Way of Excalibur. "Be Careful with That! You Could've Hit Me!" Raynare Shouted, Before Releasing a Flaming Wave from Her Hair. Issei ducked, but the Fire Singed His Hair. "Raynare is Deadly! Raynare is Grand!" Asia Shouted. "The Nakedness of Raynare is More than We Can Stand!" Issei Shouted, While Kneeling. "Kneeling Won't Save You now, Traitor!" Raynare Shouted. "Raynare is Sexy! Raynare is Cute!" Asia Shouted. "When We Think of Raynare, We Give a Big Sa-" Issei Said, before Stopping in Mid-sentence to See that He Had Impaled Raynare in the Forehead, Lobotomizing Her. "—lute?" Issei Finished, Confused. All that came from Her Mouth was a Death Rattle. Asia's Ingenious Plan Had Worked to Perfection. "Maybe I can Bring Her Back to Life if I Put the Brain Back in." Muttered Issei. "I don't Think So." Asia Said, Burning the Brain. "I'll Never be a Grand Vizier Now…" Issei Said, in disappointment, as the Illusion Unravelled itself, Returning Issei and Asia to Reality as it Was Before. "Man, I Have a Headache. Did I Miss out on a Reality Makeover?" Issei Asked. "Yeah, You Were Unusually Useless through the Whole Thing." Asia Replied. "Look out!" Asia Said. "What The Hell!?" Issei Shouted, as He Is Nailed on the Head, by a Fist, Knocking Him Out, Cold.

Chapter 17: An Unexpected Surprise

Issei Woke Up, To Find Himself at Kuoh Academy, Surrounded by Kuroka, Koneko and, Xenovia. "Where

am I? and What are YOU Doing Here?" Issei Asked. "Would you Have Listened to Us if We Said That We

Needed to Have an Urgent Talk?" Xenovia Said. "Yeah." Issei Answered. "Oh. Sorry." Koneko Said.

"Wanna Have a Drink with Us?" Kuroka Asked. "Um… I Think I'll Pass." Issei Said. With a Lewd Smile on

Her Face, Xenovia Said "You're a Virgin, Aren't You? It's Time We Showed You a Life Lesson. It's time We

Showed You How to Have Fun. We're Inviting You to Have a Drink." Pronouncing Each Word of What

She Said with a Seductive Voice. "Thanks, but No Thanks. Maybe Some Other Time", Before Xenovia

Stuck Durandal Up Issei's Nose, Abandoning Her Ecstatic Demeanor, and Growling at Him. "I Don't Think

You Understand Us. We're Inviting You to Come with Us. It's Not Something You Turn Down." Koneko

Said, with an Exasperated Face, with no Kindness Whatsoever. "Now Then, what do You Say? There's

Plenty of Sex in it for You. And Baby making. Do You Want to Come with Us?" Kuroka Said, Seductively,

starting to Pull Her Dress Down, to Charm Issei with Her Naked Breasts. "I'm Not Really Up to It.

Besides—I Have a Penis Infection." Issei Said. "Don't Worry. We All Have One Thing in Common—We're

all Sadomasochistic." Xenovia Said. "Okay, Fine. Let's Do it. BUT I Won't Be Responsible if My Penis

Infection Flares Up." Issei Said, Reluctantly. "You Made a Good Choice. Now Let's All Have a Glass of

Beer together. "Come on. You've Got Nothin' to Worry About." Koneko Said, This time, More Calmly.

"Unless of Course, You Bamboozle Us and Act Like a Brat and Cause Trouble. By The End of Our Affair,

You'll LIKE Having Sex. Bear with Us on This." Kuroka Said. "Let's GO Already!" Issei Said, in Frustration.

"Waiting On You." Xenovia Said, Pointing at the Front Door with Durandal Again. "This'll Be Fun." Issei

Said, Sarcastically. "That's More Like it." Xenovia Said. "Good Thing She Doesn't Have Common Sense.

Otherwise, they Would Have Recognized My Backhanded Tone of Voice" Issei Thought. Issei, Koneko,

and "To Come with Us, You Have to Do Our Secret Handshake. Kuroka Demonstrated, by Sucking on

Koneko's Nipples. However, Kuroka Looked Her Sister Hard in the Chest and Thought "Yuck. Shirone

Tastes Like a Child.". His Perverted Side Taking Hold Once More, Issei Sucked on Kuroka's Large Bosom.

"As Expected of a Pervert. He Loves Big Boobs the Best." Xenovia Thought. The Next Minute was a

Stunned Blur of the Five Senses. The Arrival of Kuroka, Xenovia, and Koneko Had Startled Issei. "Why're

You Doing This?" Issei Asked. "Because. We need to Have a Talk and I Think Talking over a Glass of Booze

is the Best Way to Go." Kuroka Said. "We Also Hear You've Finally Become a Harem King, Judging by

Your Crown and Clothes." Koneko Said. "We Really Want You to Join Us!" Xenovia Shouted, as they sat

at a table. "I'll go Get Us Some Drinks." Xenovia Said, before Scuttling off, into the Thick Writhing Crowd

of the Marigold Tavern. "I Guess I Could Drink ONE Glass" Issei Thought. "When Should We Copulate?"

Koneko Said. "Shut up." Issei Said. "Well THAT'S Just Not Nice!" Xenovia Said. Kuroka Came Back,

Carrying Glasses of Beer in Her Hands, and Prehensile Tails. After Everyone Else Finished, Kuroka Said

"Go On. Drink Up! Down The Hatch!". "Like I Said. I'll Pass." Issei Said. "We OFFERED You a Drink!"

Xenovia Said, Raising Durandal, as The Calm Expression Ran Away from Her Face, Becoming Anger. "It

Would Be Really Mean, To Turn Down an Offer Like That!" Kuroka Said. "I'm Going to Count to Unos!

Just Unos! Stay Quiet, And You'll Be Durandal's Next Victim." Koneko Said. Issei Reluctantly Swallowed

the Beer, Before Going into a Coughing Fit. "Smooth." Issei Said, with His Voice Breaking. "Drink ALL of

the Booze." Xenovia Said, This time in an Admonishing Voice. "Issei Drank the Rest of the Beer, as His

Eyes Tightened. "Good. That's Just Fine." Koneko Said. "Room…Spinning." Issei Muttered, as He Passed

Out. "Time to Roll Out Phase Two." Xenovia Said. Koneko and Kuroka Nodded as they Initiated The

Penultimate Phase of their Plan. Much to Issei's Stupidity, He Woke Up to Find His Life Going

Disturbingly Wrong.

Chapter 18: Epilogue

Issei Woke Up to Find His Face in Kuroka's Massive Bosom! "Tits! Why Am I Looking at Tits Now, and

Why am I Naked?" Issei Said, in Surprise, in shock, to Find that Kuroka Has Taken Issei into a Bath! "I'm

Feeling an Awkward Sensation Here. What is it? WAIT A MINUTE! I KNOW WHAT You're Up to! You're

Just Trying to Trick Me into Having Sex with All of You, Just So You Can Make a Baby with Me!" Issei

Shouted, as He Shrieked in Pain When He Discovered That His Penis Had Been Inserted into Kuroka's

Vagina. "Way to Go, Detective Doofus. I Have a Confession to Make, Though. We WANTED You to Figure

It Out. Struggle All You Want. If You Try to Remove Yourself from Me, I'll Make Your Penile Infection

Worse, By Thrusting my Body to Enhance the Stimulation. "Stop It! Just Cut It Out, already!" Issei Said.

"What? Are You Deaf, or Something?" Kuroka Asked, Before Opening Her Lips, Moving Her Tongue Out

of Her Mouth to Lock Lips with Issei, For 10 straight Minutes. "How Did You Bring Me Here? And Why Do

You Smell Like Beer, All of a Sudden?" Issei Demanded, Before Realizing that When He Had a Flashback,

of His Clothes Being Shredded by One Swipe of Koneko's Nailed Hand. And Kuroka Took Durandal, And

Used it to Tear Koneko's and Xenovia's School Uniforms, and Underwear Apart, Before Tearing Apart

Her Gown, thinking "My Gown Has Been Torn. I'll Just Tear it off, then. I'll Tear it ALL off, with my

emptiness, and BOND with the Red Dragon Emperor." As She Started Burning Their Clothes in a

Bonfire. "WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN ME INTO?!" Issei Yelled, As Kuroka Grabbed Issei. "What's Wrong,

ISSEI-KUN?" Kuroka Asked. "I Think You're Drunk." Issei Said. "I Drink a Little, but I'm Fine. I Even Know

How to Have Sex. How to Please a Dragon. "Here's Some Boobies. Wanna Suck in My Milk?" Kuroka

Asked in a Seductive Voice, as She Brought Issei Close to Her Nipples. "N-N-N-" Issei Stammered

Before Being Interrupted by Kuroka Grabbing Issei's Lips, Forcing Them Open When She Said "Just Suck

it, Already! Don't Resist. Why Are You Resisting?" And Issei Uncontrollably Suckled on Kuroka's Breasts,

while Kuroka Masturbated, Staining the water with Semen due to the Fact That she was Ejaculating.

After Her Breasts Were Sucked Bone Dry, Kuroka Released Herself, As Issei Said "What was THAT?".

"Nekomatas Ejaculate in a State of Ecstasy." Kuroka Replied. "WHAT?!" Issei Gasped. Kuroka Crawled to

Issei's Back, and Stroked His Penis with Her Tails and Hands Repeatedly, Back and Forth. "That's a Good

Dragon. Good Dragon, Good Dragon. Let's Have Some Fun Together. I'll Treasure You're Great Big

Honkin' Mushroom!" Kuroka Said, As She Crawled in Front of Him. "I Wanna Eat Your Mushroom Now.

Let's Put it in. I'm as Ready as a Malnourished Human World Cat! I Won't Release You Until You Cum So

Hard that You Ejaculate in my Mouth!" Kuroka Said, Gripping Issei's Hands and Legs Hard. "I Understand.

But ONLY Because Vali Said No." Issei Said Using Her Tails as Additional Appendages, before Fellating

Him. "If Prez Were Still Alive, She'd Blow Her Stack." Issei Thought. Kuroka Finally Released, drooling on

Him as She Did So. "I'll Remember Your Taste Now. I'm Glad I Finally Had Sex with a Dragon. I Want to

Have a Dragon's Child. You Were the Only Option, Since Vali Turned Me Down." Kuroka Said, Before She

Stood Up, and Took Rias' Old Underwear. "That Belongs to My Master." Issei Said. "But She Died, Didn't

She? She's Dead. Who it Belongs to is Irrelevant." Kuroka Said, Before Leaving. Xenovia Finally Climbed

in, with Koneko accompanying Her. "What IS Going on Here?" Issei Thought. "Now Let's Work Hard on

Making Babies." Xenovia Said. "Asia's Really Going to Be Hopping Mad, When She Finds Out. I Hope She

Comes for me." Issei Muttered. "I Don't Think So. It Looks Swollen. I'll Handle the Poor Thing" Xenovia

Said, Seductively, as She Inserted Issei's Penis into her Vagina, and They Darted Tongues as they Kissed

Uncontrollably. Asia Watched through a window and Attempted to Stop her by tossing a Spitball at

Xenovia. Unfortunately, it Didn't Work. Issei Tried to escape but was stopped. "I'm Not Letting You Go

So Easily. Do You Like Big Breasts? Coincidently, I Have Stiff Shoulders Because of Them." Xenovia Said,

fondling her Breasts. "Of Course I Do. They're My Favorite Things!" Issei Said "The Situation, However,

isn't the Best. "Goooood." Xenovia Said, Shaking Her Breasts as they Bumped Issei's Head, as they

Continued to Have Sex. "Don't Worry. I'll Hold You Down." Xenovia Said, before Deep Throating Issei

While Fisting Herself Simultaneously, as she Lactated, and Ejaculated. After a few Minutes. Xenovia

Removed Herself and Said "I'll Remember Your Sweet, Tender, Taste Now. Thank You, Issei-Kun. I Finally

Fulfilled My Womanly Desire. Asia Wasn't Even Watching!" Xenovia Said, leaving after Putting on a

Provocative Looking Leopard Print Costume. "You're Too Serious, Aren't You? I Need You Inside Me

Right Now. Let's Feel Good Together." Koneko Said, Before Holding Issei's Penis Inside Her with a Grip

Tighter Than an Eagle, to Prevent Him from Withdrawing. Issei Felt His Penile Infection Decrease

Gradually as Koneko Revealed Her Cat Ears and Tail, and an Eerie Sapphire Glow Emitted from Her,

Which Intensified Gradually, after She Said "Your Rod's Getting Really Big. I've Never Been So Happy!"

After She Let Issei Go, she said "I was Telling the Truth When I Told You About Boochjutsu, Issei-Kun.".

Before Leaving. Asia Kicked the Door Down, saying "I Don't Want to Be Left Ou—NO! I Was Too Late.

There's Semen and Breast Milk All Over the Place! How Could This Happen?", Before Sobbing. "It's Okay,

Asia. Look at it This Way. With Raynare Dead, I've Gotten Over My Trauma, Cured My Penile Infection,

and I Got Used to Sex." Issei Said. "You're Right. I'm Being Ridiculous. Could We Have Sex One Day?"

Asia Asked. "Maybe. Come on. Let's Go Home." Issei Replied, as They Walked Out of the Building the

Bath was in, Which Was, in fact, the Abandoned Hyodo Residence. They Left the House, and Off to the

Horizon. "Maybe it was Worth it, after all. I'm Used to Sex, and My Penis Infection Has Gone Away.

Today is a Good Day." Issei Said, as HE Found Himself a New Suit and Crown, Returning to His Home, in

the Underworld, and He Did Not Look Back. "Prez Can Finally Rest in Peace, After Her Killers Were

Defeated by The Likes of Asia and I. I've Never Felt Happier. As a Reward, I Think I'll Have a Better Timed

Sex Affair with Asia, to Console Her. To Tell Her I Was Victimized by Koneko, Kuroka, and Xenovia. Asia

Would Have Been Devastated if She Found Out that One of Her Closest Friends Was involved. Good Bye.

Rias Gremory. Somehow I Know, We'll Meet again in the Nether Realms Where Devils Go to Die." Issei

Thought, to put and end, to a Long, Hard Journey. And for Once, He Didn't Look Back for a Single

Second.

The End

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