A/N: this is my first attempt at posting FF, please let me know what you think!
I am Lelouch vi Brittania, 99th Emperor of the Holy Brittanian Empire. I am the son of Emperor Charles zi Brittania and Marianne the Flash. I am the man who confounded the plots of a mad god, defied the UFN, and overcame the rule of Damocles. I am the man who betrayed everything he ever stood for, everyone who ever called him friend. The man who slaughtered millions on his path to power.
I am the Demon Emperor.
I am Zero, the masked knight for justice. I led the Black Knights to victory over insurmountable odds, time and time again. I raised the elevens—no, the Japanese—from their knees, weapons in hand. I am the man who brought hope to the oppressed, and made the corrupt tremble in their palaces. The man who conjured armies from nothing, to defy the might of Brittania.
I am the man who works miracles.
But in these rooms, tonight, I am neither of these near-mythical figures. I am only Lelouch Lamperouge, a Brittanian student facing his own execution, and I cannot help but feel a tremor of apprehension.
On the morrow, Zero will kill the Demon Emperor, and the Zero Requiem—the plan for which so many fought and died, all unknowing—will be complete. I can only wonder—what will be left of Lelouch Lamperouge? For that matter, what will remain of Suzaku Kururugi? For this will destroy him, as surely as it does me. The last vestiges of the boys we were, sacrificed to the ideal we both served. I knew it—planned for it. How else could he accept the mantle I left for him?
He knew it, too.
Earlier
We stood before the throne, finally facing one another not as enemies, but as accomplices, compatriots, conspirators in our grand deceit.
But not as friends.
There was too much between us—too much blood, too much pain and betrayal which there had not been time to resolve, to reclaim what we once had. Perhaps there would never have been enough time. The world will count it as a small sin, weighed against my others, but I cannot help but weigh it heavily, as heavily as the burden I now lay upon him.
"No." One word, a refusal. Under most circumstances, a mere annoyance, to be brushed aside with an exercise of will. This time, though, the subject was too important to leave to chance, and I had neither the heart nor the geass to compel him.
"You agreed to this, Suzaku." Appeals to his honour had always been an effective means of controlling him. For all his talk of ends justifying means, he remains a Knight at heart.
"I agreed to dispose of the Demon Emperor. Not Lelouch Lamperouge."
"Sophistry. We are the same person." Of all the times for him to develop the ability to see beyond the black and white, this is surely the worst.
"No, it's just another mask for you, isn't it? Only you believe in this one even less than you did Zero."
"Does it matter what I do and do not believe? I am guilty of the crimes of which I stand accused. The purges of the nobility, the slaughter of dissidents—the Black Knights are to be executed tomorrow, have you forgotten?"
Most of the 'executed' dissidents are alive but unharmed. After tomorrow, they will be found in the holding cells with vague memories of being interrogated and beaten. They are the best and bravest citizens of my new empire, men and women who dared to fight in the face of annihilation.
They didn't need to die. They didn't deserve to die.
He doesn't need to know that.
"Don't play dumb with me, Lelouch. You know as well as I do they'll never reach the firing squad."
"They will if you won't act. Do you want those deaths on your conscience? Little Tianzi, still a child. Kaguya, your cousin—the last family you have, if I recall correctly. Do you expect the Demon Emperor to pardon those who conspired against him?" If the threat is credible enough, he will have to act. My knight of Zero was never one to allow innocents to die while he can intervene.
He cocks an eyebrow at the words 'demon emperor,' and I know before he replies that I have made a tactical error.
"I don't know. Will you, Lelouch?"
"Of course I will. The Black Knights betrayed me and attempted to kill me. The UFN denied my authority. To let them live would send a message to my enemies—that Lelouch vi Brittania is a sentimental weakling."
I've been careless, let my guard down. I'd hoped that here, on my last night alive, with the man who was once my best and oldest friend, I could dispense with masks.
A misjudgement. Suzaku was always weaker than I. He would cut down enemy after enemy in battle, but killing in cold blood? He'd never had the stomach for that. Not even when it needed to be done. The fact that I asked it of him only made it more difficult to reconcile.
This reluctance was no remnant of boyish affection, nor the dying gasp of friendship, but the direst self-interest. He knows that what I ask will destroy him.
I raise my head, and our eyes lock, blue and violet. I see pain there, pain we both caused, working together even as we were locked in struggle. I also see fear.
My trump card, then.
"What about your own vengeance? What about Euphemia? I put her down like a mad dog, shot her in cold blood while you watched. And. Couldn't. Do. Anything."
I see his jaw clench, and know what he will do before he even moves. His fist strikes me square in the jaw and I hear something crack. A second blow, follows, a third. I can no longer keep my footing and let myself fall to the tiles. I have made no move to defend myself—such an attempt would be fruitless in any case.
I wonder if he will kill me here and now. A vague concern washes over me even as a boot catches me square in the side.
I feel ribs splinter.
I pass out.