Back then, I was afraid. I thought we wouldn't make it out alive, that we would die like pig moles caught in the cave-in. You encouraged me then. You told me to keep digging and that everything would be okay. I got caught up wondering where you got your confidence, so instead of focusing on the slow, painful death awaiting us in the dark tunnel, I just kept working. When we finally got out, I was surprised. You knew that we were going to be okay. And I believed you the whole time. It worked for us.
Later, I showed you my lack of confidence again. Since I needed courage and not diligence, I thought you would tell me to man up. Real men never look back, right? But you knew very well that it wouldn't be enough for me. So again, you supported me. You told me that I didn't have to believe in just myself. Instead, I could believe in you, who just happened to believe in the hopeless me. You saved my life before in the tunnels. You kept my spirits up by talking about how amazing the outside world would be, and you even showed me the sky. How could I not believe in that amazing you?
At the end, you told me that you were abandoning me. I tried to take your words of encouragement in the way you meant; I should be able to believe in myself. The deeper meaning of what you said was what stuck with me though: I couldn't rely on you anymore, and I only had myself to believe in.
But the me that believed in me didn't exist. You asked too much.
Now that I'm older, I understand that people weren't made to stand alone. You can't believe in yourself if no one else believes in you first. You probably were putting up a front, to some extent, for my sake. I lost my parents early enough that you wanted to give me that unconditional support yourself. I truly appreciated it, even then.
So when you fell out of my life, the happiest, most childlike part of me disappeared. I had other people to support me, other people that relied on me, and other people that gave me a reason to fight. I'd fight for your memory alone, since I still worry about getting punched in the face when I'm down. But never again would there be anyone- not the citizens of Kamina City, not Yoko, not Nia, not myself- who would always believe in me.