Disclaimer: All recognizable Rizzoli & Isles characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to Tess Gerritsen. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Will
There are few things I put faith in. Science, perhaps the most obvious of the things I offer my unyielding faith. Jane Rizzoli's will being the only other.
When Jane Rizzoli has a theory, she will go to the ends of the earth to prove it. If I were a betting woman, I would put money on Jane's will any day of the week. When Jane wants something she will get it. It's something I greatly admire about her. Admire…that may be understating it a bit. In fact, the only problem I have with Jane's will is that she is currently using every bit of her will to deny her attraction to me. I may not always read cues, but Jane's attraction to me is undeniable.
One night we were sitting at the Dirty Robber after a heart wrenching case. It seems the children are always the hardest. It was the first time in months that Jane ordered hard liquor. I was expecting her to order a beer and my wine, but she ordered Johnnie Walker and asked if I wanted something other than wine. There was something about the way Jane looked at me that told me it was her night to fall apart. Something about the kid found in the park had really gotten to Jane, more so than kids usually do. The look on her face told me I better stick to wine. One of us would have to drive home.
Jane's will can lead her through the impossible. That night she told me about playing baseball as a child with a girl that lived two streets over. Something about the little girl we found in the park that day had caused Jane to remember her childhood friend. As we sat at the table, our backs to the wall, our feet outstretched on the booth, I could sense that Jane was fighting the urge to reach over and take my hand. Each time she took a sip of her drink her hand would meander closer to mine. Each time she would get within inches and that famous Rizzoli will would intervene.
We must have sat there talking for two hours. Jane was on her fourth drink when I said we should call it a night. Jane led me out of the Robber with her hand placed at the small of my back. Her touch sent chills up my spine. When we reached her car she handed me the keys and slouched into the passenger seat. I asked where she would like to go and she didn't hesitate to say she wanted to go home with me. I, of course, was happy she didn't want to go home alone. The ride home was silent. Occasionally Jane looked over at me as if to say something and thought better of it. When we reached my house, Jane looked at me with a desire I'd not seen in her eyes before. But that desire was accompanied by pain. the pain of denying herself what she truly wanted.
After changing into pajamas and making tea, Jane and I sat on my sofa looking over our cups at one another and saying little. It seemed like an eternity of quiet when Jane reached for my cup placing it on the coffee table next to hers. Taking my hand, she urged me to stand and led me to my bedroom. My heart was in my throat, my temperature rising by the second. I stood at the side of my bed as Jane pulled the covers back and slipped inside. Her eyes pleaded with me to join her. As I crawled into bed, Jane turned off the lamp and put her arms around me.
"Just let me hold you," Jane whispered.
It was all Jane needed to say. I knew that in the battle of Jane's will, eventually she would allow herself more. She would eventually allow herself to love me, to be attracted to me, and to admit both.
There are few things I place my faith in, Jane is one of them.