Disclaimer: We don't own Glee, and we do not own Darren Criss' imagination. Although, that would be a lot of fun.

Episode 1: Radioactive Turtle

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Much as Blaine enjoyed singing and being part of the Warblers, he loved science even more. This evening he was helping his science teacher with his Ph.D. project, which involved inducing binary fission with radiation to observe the effects of accelerated growth on turtle eggs. It was slightly dangerous work for his teacher, as he was handicapped in a wheel chair, and Blaine had to be careful to not expose himself to any of the hazardous materials. However, for the most part, it was his job to take care of the sliders, feed them, ensure the temperature of their water was appropriate, and prepare slides…simple stuff like that. He was a little helper minion, and he loved it. Occasionally, his teacher would let Blaine watch as he observed the eggs, pointing out different features of their development. Today Blaine had sneaked off from Warbler's practice to help with the turtle's feeding, using the excuse that he had a lot of homework to do. The Warblers were appalled, particularly that new transfer student from McKinley.

"Here's the food, Blaine. I want you to up turtles 23 and 11's food by a gram, reduce number 14's by half a gram and 25 by two, and also watch out for 31," Mr. Xavier said, pointing to a smaller slider resting on a rock, "as he has been quite grumpy lately." Sometimes known as a bit insane, Mr. Xavier was a balding man who was very much into his work. Some days, he would hire a substitute to take over class for him if he thought a new discovery was underway. Blaine nodded, took the food, and started weighing it out. He had to do his best to feed each turtle individually and give them the proper amount. The turtles all lived in a big room and were branded a number on their shell for identification. It was a nice room, and earth-conscious as Mr. Xavier was, he had one room for all of the turtles instead of separate tanks to keep it a little greener; at least that's how he balanced out that with working with radioactive materials. As Blaine moved about carefully to each turtle, marking down which got fed and which didn't, he came across the grumpy 31. He carefully fed the little turtle. 31 didn't seem that grumpy; Mr. Xavier must have overreacted. Blaine walked away, ready to move on to the next turtle, when 31 bit him.

"OW!" he yelped. Mr. Xavier, who was working close by, heard the scream and came wheeling over.

"You got bit, didn't you? I TOLD you to be careful!"

"I'm sorry!" Blaine apologized, "I just wasn't watching as I walked away!"

Mr. Xavier sighed and got some rubbing alcohol, telling Blaine that this would sting. Once the wound was sterilized, he wrapped Blaine's leg and told him to rest for the evening. Blaine sighed, frustrated with himself for making such a stupid mistake, and hobbled back to his dorm room. Opening his door, Blaine saw coupons already cut out for the grocery shopping which Blaine did on Saturdays. Today was Wednesday. Since his roommate was a bit of recluse, Blaine did all the shopping for the two of them, and his roommate – being the thoughtful, kind guy that he was, not to mention batshit crazy – collected coupons for him, and sometimes left money amongst the pile as well. All of this was unnecessary, because Blaine had more than enough to provide for both of them, but he appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

His roommate, Boo, whose real name was Arthur but was called Boo due to his ghostlike appearance and personality (sometimes people even wondered if he existed at all), was sitting quietly on his bed reading a math book. When he saw Blaine, Boo gave him a concerned look at Blaine's bandaged leg.

"I got bit."

Boo raised a questioning eyebrow, and Blaine replied, "I don't really want to talk about it." His roommate shrugged and buried his face behind his text book. Blaine fell into his bed; he wasn't feeling too well by this point. The room started spinning and he felt very warm. Blaine soon realized that his clothes were seeping with sweat.

Boo's gray eyes peeked from his book and met Blaine's in a concerned gaze as Blaine had just emitted a moan of agony. His roommate must have been truly concerned for him, as eye contact was a rare occurrence. Regardless, Boo was unusually comfortable around Blaine compared to most because, for some weird reason, Boo actually trusted his roommate.

Blaine waved him off. "Fine, just… long day. Need… rest." The rest of the night Blaine was twitching and rolling around in his sleep. He felt like his body was on fire and twisting in on itself. At around two in the morning, Blaine decided to get up and see if a glass of tea would relieve his symptoms. Grabbing his cup, he tried to walk as quietly as he could to the bathroom, stumbling around in the dark. He turned on the bathroom light and screamed.

"Blaine!" his roommate called in a raspy voice, rushing over.

"Nothing!" Blaine exclaimed, shutting the door as quickly as he could. This couldn't be a dream, could it? Blaine hoped to God it was just some horrible nightmare. Looking at himself in the mirror, he was green…not a sickly green, his skin was literally green. Also, his back was a lot broader… was that a SHELL! He was turning into a … TURTLE! He whispered into the mirror,"I feel like a loser, I feel like I'm lost. How could this happen to me? What am I going to do now?" Noticing the mysterious absence of pain in his leg, he pulled up his pant leg exposing his green skin to inspect the bite wound, but there was no wound to be found.

His roommate knocked on the door in urgent persistence to know what was wrong.

"I'm fine! I just…." He had to think of something, and quickly. "I stubbed my toe is all."

He heard Boo mumble quietly in skepticism as his footsteps faded away. Blaine let out a sigh of relief that his roommate was not one for conversations, but a new worry cropped up: what was he going to do now? He couldn't stay here, that was for sure. Dalton, as accepting as everyone was, wouldn't accept a turtle-kid! He was pretty sure he would get kicked out as soon as he walked down the hallways. Going home was not an option either; he could imagine the looks on his parents' faces if he showed up at home as a turtle. Why was this happening to him, was it the bite?

It must have been those damn radioactive turtles. He briefly wondered if he should talk to his science teacher. After further thought, he decided that this was his only real option. He peeked out of the door to make sure his roommate was tucked into bed and not looking. Blaine snuck out of his dormitory, wrapping himself in a blanket in case anyone was wandering at this time of night, not that he was doing a very good job of hiding himself (he was green, after all). Stepping outside, Blaine called his teacher. The phone rang, but no one answered. Blaine wasn't about to give up, however, and tried again.

After calling three times, his teacher finally answered with a groggy "Hello?"

"Mr. Xavier! It's Blaine! I know it's really late, but can we meet somewhere?"

"Blaine? Why are you calling at this god forsaken hour?"

"You know how I got bit today?" Mr. Xavier answered with a hmmmm, allowing Blaine to continue: "Well, I don't want to say it over the phone, but something happened…can I meet with you? Now? It's kind of an emergency."

Blaine could hear fumbling in the background, "If you must, Blaine. Meet me in the teacher's lounge. Just don't get caught wandering the halls." With a sigh of relief, Blaine hung up. If the fates allowed, he wouldn't get caught. A giant turtle cruising around Dalton? Although, it would be quite funny to see the look on the hall monitor's face as he passed by. As quietly as he could manage, Blaine crept to the teacher's meeting room, and there he waited for his teacher to arrive.

Moments later he was being shaken awake by a very wide eyed Mr. Xavier. "So, this is your emergency, eh? What an interesting side effect. The radiation must have transferred from the turtle into you, mixing with your DNA to create some sort of turtle-human mutant. How fascinating. Can I take a blood sample?"

Confused by his teacher's reaction Blaine quickly tried to change the topic, "Sure, whatever, but, what am I going to do, I can't just go to school looking like this."

"No, I suppose you would look rather out of place." Mr. Xavier twiddled his thumbs and began to ponder; suddenly he perked up, exclaiming "Of course, why didn't I think of it before!" He took out his phone and dialed a number while holding a finger to Blaine to wait and be patient. He hung up the phone and looked to Blaine. "I have the perfect solution for you," he said, "There is actually a group called the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles, who have also been bitten by radioactive turtles, but by those in contaminated swamps and rivers. Fortunately, I knew about this group as extensive research on my part of radioactivity and humans, but because my experiments were controlled I didn't think that this reaction would have occurred. Anyway, as far as I am aware, there is no cure for this ailment, and you must join them. One thing was clear - that no matter what awaits you, terrible or wondrous, the TMNT will always be there."

He gave Blaine directions and a map to find the TMNT and told him that they would be waiting for him there. If he got lost, he was to call the number written down on the map. It was rather complicated to get to, as the TMNT had to remain secret from the rest of the world. With an uncertain look to his teacher, Blaine bid goodbye and left, packing only a golden tea kettle which was a valuable family heirloom he couldn't imagine life without, and a bag full of money. With a heavy heart, Blaine waved goodbye to Dalton. He couldn't believe that he would probably never again see the hallowed halls of Dalton, never again sing with his beloved Warblers, and never again hug his parents. People would wonder what happened to him, and he contemplated what his teacher would tell them. Maybe he would make up a story on how Blaine died. New adventures awaited Blaine, and he knew he shouldn't dwell on those thoughts forever, but this realization did little to console him.

Through his sadness he forgot to look both ways before he began crossing Rane Avenue, the street his school was on. When he heard the loud "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" of a bus horn, he looked up with a start and was knocked to the ground. Before he lost all consciousness, time suddenly stopped. In front of him appeared a strange blue Genie. Blaine jumped back, being with a giant blue floating Genie was the capsulate last thing he needed to make himself seen, and that wasn't his intention at all. But as he looked around, Blaine saw that no one was around, it was just him, Genie, and an empty street.

"Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!" the genie said while twisting his neck around and around. "Why, hello Blaine, I see you've got yourself into a bit of a predicament; well, I have good news for you! This golden tea kettle which has been handed down from generation to generation in your family, is actually my lamp and you woke me up because you rubbed it when you crashed into the bus." Blaine scrunched his face up in confusion, and then understanding washed over him.

"Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaats right!" the Genie exclaimed, "As my savior I am forever bound to you...er, that is…. until I grant you three wishes! Now I'm going to go ahead and assume your first wish is going to be not to get hit by the bus?" Blaine nodded, the Genie snapped his fingers, and with a pop they were on the sidewalk. Time having restarted; the bus went on its way, not seeming to notice the giant blue man-thing talking to a strange-looking boy or the fact that the giant man-thing had stopped time at all. "So there you have it, kid, one down, two glorious wishes left." Before Blaine could speak, Genie added, "Oh and no," the genie changed into a slightly bluer version of Blaine and spoke with a mocking voice, "'My second wish is that I get an unlimited amount of wishes.'" Genie returned to his original form with another pop. "You get three wishes, to be exact. Oh, and ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. Ein, zwei, dri. Uno, due, tre. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds. Don't you think for one second I haven't got you humans all figured out!" Genie went over the other rules about wishes; including no bringing people back from the dead and no making people fall in love. "Oh! And absolutely no bathtubs full of chickens! That was one nightmare of a wish; well you can't pick your masters." Genie stopped talking and looked at Blaine expectantly.

Blaine looked back in wonder as his mind was blown. The genie said, "So where are you off to? And, why, oh why are you a turtle-human thing? No offense."

Filling the Genie in on what had happen in the last 24 hours, he listened intently on Blaine's story. "Well," said the Genie when Blaine had finished, "I could always turn you back into a human, you know that right?"

At this, Blaine went into a rage, actually this was the maddest he had ever been, "How DARE you suggest such a thing!" Although Blaine probably looked like a monster to most people, Blaine had come to terms with his turtleness and loved how much stronger he was. It had already become a part of who he was and he wasn't about to let it go. Being green kind of reminded him of Elphaba, which was very cool; at least he wasn't allergic to water.

"Wow, calm down, Bubbo. Yeesh! Alright, alright! What about needing supplies for the journey?"

Blaine shook his head, "I already have enough money to last until I am 80, even if I never get a job." Blaine sat contemplating his next wish. "I got it!" he exclaimed, "Genie, I wish for a time machine!"

The genie flexed his fingers saying, "One bona-fide time machine coming right up!" And there stood Blaine's very own time machine, Blaine grinned like a Harry Potter fanatic at Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park. Blaine asked the genie to put the time machine into the back of Blaine's pickup truck, and he complied. Then, Blaine drove and drove until he came across a secluded forest ready for the adventure he had been dreaming about since he was a small child.

Next time on Glee: Blaine has a prehistoric adventure!

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Love Ashlyn, Catherine and Linnea