Hey guys! So this is after Four's fear landscape, when they sit by the rocks and they kiss! Hehe, in Tobias' POV, of course. Hope you like it!
We walk toward the Pit as I continue to hold on to her hand. I feel my palm get sweaty, and I resist the urge to yank my hand away and wipe the sweat off. Now I understand why people get so nervous when they hold hands.
I try to ease the awkwardness by running my thumb slowly down her palm, and then exhale.
No irritated or awkward expression. Good. This is good.
I do this for a couple more times and get more comfortable when she finally speaks up.
"So.. four fears." She says, and I nod slightly.
"Four fears then; four fears now. They haven't changed, so I keep going in there, but…I still haven't made any progress." My voice turns soft at the last part. Ugh, this is so frustrating.
"You can't be fearless, remember?" her voice was full of support and concern. "Because you still care about things. About life."
"I know." I think I said that a little too quickly. Did I sound too defensive?
Anyway, I lead her to the edge of the Pit that leads to the rocks at the bottom of the chasm.
"You were going to tell me about your aptitude test results." She says out of nowhere.
Oh Tris.
"Ah." I scratch the back of my neck, hoping she'd let the topic go. "Does it matter?"
I glance at her, hoping she'd forget about it. "Yes, I want to know."
I chuckle at her; I knew she would insist. "How demanding you are."
I continue to lead her through the rocks, gripping her hand a little tighter to keep her balance. I hope I didn't hurt her hand, that would be very embarrassing.
I find a nice flat rock by the side where the current wasn't so strong. I sit just by the edge, and she follows. I momentarily release her hand, and I quickly wipe mine on my pants.
Thank God, it wasn't so sweaty.
I look back to the current below us. "These are things I don't tell people, you know. Not even my friends." I tell her honestly.
I glance at her; she's still quiet. She really wants to know.
I exhale deeply. "My result was as expected. Abnegation."
"Oh." She quickly replies. What was that, was it disappointment? Relief? Ugh, Tris can be so confusing sometimes.
"But you chose Dauntless anyway?"
"Out of necessity."
"Why did you have to leave?"
My eyes lose focus on her face and dart straight back to the front. I didn't know how to answer. All I knew was that my father- how I hate saying that- I never want to see him, ever again.
"You had to get away from your dad, is that why you don't want to be a Dauntless leader? Because if you were, you might have to see him again?"
Thank God she read my mind, now I don't have much to say anymore. I shrug. "That, and I've always felt that I don't quite belong among the Dauntless. Not the way they are now, anyway."
She frowns. "But, you're…. incredible." She cuts herself and clears her throat. I hope that she didn't notice me blush.
"I mean, by Dauntless standards. Four fears is unheard of. How could you not belong here?"
I shrug. "I have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different. All your life you've been training to forget yourself, so when you're in danger, it becomes your first instinct. I could belong in Abnegation just as easily."
She stares down to her lap, probably absorbing on what I just said. Was that too heavy?
She meets my eyes, and I couldn't look away anymore. "Yeah, well, I left Abngeation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I try to be."
I smile at her. "That's not entirely true. That girl who let someone throw knives at her to spare a friend, who hit my dad with a belt to protect me- that selfless girl, that's not you?"
I could see through her soft smile that I've given her hope. Her blue eyes seem to twinkle whenever I look at her.
She smirks. "You've been playing close attention, haven't you?"
"I like to observe people." Well, something like stalking, actually.
Her smirk turns into a laugh, and I swear, she looks like an angel right now. "Maybe you were cut out from Candor, Four, because you're a terrible liar."
My ears perk up at 'Four'. Didn't she know my real name yet?
I place my hand flat on the rock and let it crawl slowly to hers. She stares at it, probably thinking how ugly my fingers were.
"Fine." I lean my face closer to hers, eyeing her chin, her lips and then her nose. I take a deep breath and prepare for what I'm about to reveal.
"I watched you because I like you." Relief surges through me as I stare right into her eyes. I hope I said it right.
"And don't call me Four, okay? It's nice to hear my name again."
She was frozen, does that mean that she took this well?
"But you're older than I am.. Tobias." She said, stammering.
Oh, age is just a number, Tris. I couldn't help but smile at her excuse. "Yes, that whopping two-year gap really is insurmountable, isn't it?"
"I'm not trying to be self-depricating." She starts rushing her words. "I just don't get it. I'm younger. I'm not pretty. I-"
I couldn't resist the urge to laugh, as I kiss her lightly on the temple.
Really Tris? Not pretty?
"Don't pretend." She still insists. "You know I'm not. I'm not ugly, but I'm certainly not pretty."
"Fine. You're not pretty. So?" Once I said it, I completely regret it. What the hell did I just say? That's not what I meant, I mean come on, she's more than beautiful. But, I was trying to please her by just agreeing on what she said. But she's still pretty. Was that right? I mean, just, Ugh. Wrong move.
I try to make up for it by kissing her cheek. "I like how you look. You're deadly smart. You're brave. And even though you found out about Marcus.." My voice softens, and I don't even know why.
"-you aren't giving me that look. Like I'm a kicked puppy or something." I exhale.
She simply stares back. "Well, you're not."
I was frozen, is this the time? Should I do it? Is that what people do after an exchange of sweet messages and compliments? After about a few seconds of some staring contest, I go for it.
My hands find her face and I lean in close. I brush my lips gently on hers, and she doesn't move. I think she's okay with what I'm doing.
I smirk, before closing the space that I wanted to close for so long now.
She was still frozen. Why wasn't she pulling my head closer or playing with my hair or something? I pull away, but we both knew that that wasn't the end of it.
The next thing I was doing was pulling her face closer to mine and kissing her again; but harder, and with more passion. Her hands weren't tense anymore, for it already found my neck and then to my hair.
My hand slides to her waist and I pull her even closer. Fortunately, she doesn't stop me. I was counting the seconds in my head, but I lost count after about a hundred.
Even though I so badly wanted to kiss her all night, we were still humans, and we needed air. I pull away, and we catch our breaths. I pull her up, and together we walk back to our rooms.
I search for any disappointment or shame in her face, but I find none.
I hold her hand firmly. I didn't care if it was sweaty, or if I held it too tight. Should I still be ashamed? After calling her not pretty when she actually is? After kissing her by the chasm? After admitting that I liked her?
Of course not. Not anymore.
Sorry for the suckish ending, I'm not good at writing endings. Please review, and I promise I will write more one shots in Tobias' POV! Just comment with your review what part you want me to write, and I will do my best! Please and thank you!
