The Twisted Version of the Outsiders!

Ponyboy's POV

When I stepped out from the darkness of school, I had only two things on my mind: how I would explain how I changed genders to Darry, and that I finally graduated kindergarten! I was the oldest kid in my class, 'cause they're all three years old and I'm five. I think… I was also thinkin' about Michael Jackson. He was tuff lookin'- and as for me well… I LOOK LIKE LINDSEY LOHAN! (A/N he actually sorta does OO') But I got 'SOME' good looks. I have bleached blonde hair, and scary murky eyes. They're this ugly greenish-grey.

Soda's POV

I walked into the house, head high and I knew what I had to do! Today I would spill my guts to Darry that I was gay! But I guess it'll have to wait, 'cause when I walk into the house I hear this soft sorta cryin' sound.

"Darry? That you?" I asked, switching the lights on. Whoa, Darry cried? I sat down on the couch, next to him.

"Oh it's horrible, just horrible!" he cried, "PONY'S 14 YEARS OLD AND HE'S STILL IN KIDNERGARTEN! And that's not the worse part; he thinks he's five years old!"

"Uh… Well at least he's potty trained!" I said sticking up for my 'lil bro. I think Darry died, 'cause he's all pale and there's foam comin' outta his mouth. Oh no! Darry died! That's wonderful- I mean horrible! I only make a penny a year! What am I gunna do! AHHHH!

"Darry? Dar? Dar bear?" I cried. At this point I was totally freaked out, and I started shaking his body like crazy, but then the worse thing possible happened. HIS HEAD FELL OFF! Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, what am I gunna do! What the hell am I gunna do! I know! I'll glue his head back on! But wait where's the glue!

So, now I'm on a search to find myself so glue, when I hear the door open. And my kid brother walks in.

"Hey guys- OMIGAWD!" yeah Pony screams like a girl… He starts runnin' 'round screamin' at the top of her- I mean his lungs!

"CALM DOWN PONY!" I yell. But he keeps on screamin' and runnin' into walls, so I do the one thing that seemed sensible! I grabbed a hammer! Then I bash him in the head a few times! See, just 'cause I 'aint bright doesn't mean I 'aint smart! Ha, ha! Success!

Anyways back to the glue for Darry's head. I look 'round for it, but can't find it. So I finally give up, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN! I find scotch tape in my underwear drawer, along with some thongs I forgot I had! Yeah!

So I run like a snail back to the livin' room, and tape Darry's head back. But I taped it on backwards! AND IT'S STUCK! Then Johnny and Dally walk in.

"HOLY SHITAKE MUSH ROOMS WITH MUSTARD! What happened to Pony and Darry!" Dally asked runnin' in, but accidentally tripped on Ponyboy, who was knocked out on the floor. Johnny fainted, and I think Dally hit his head too hard on the ground so he sorta just passed out.

"Dang…." I said, "Now what?" I blinked my eyes rapidly, and hit myself in the head with the hammer, for good measure.

Ponyboy's POV

"Ponyyyyy…. Pony…. Wake up…. Focus…. Llamas…" someone said, rollin' the words. My head hurt real bad, and I felt really dead. What happened? Oh yeah, Darry's head fell off, Soda hit me in the head with a hammer, and I died.

"Wow… Heaven looks like my house! I blinked, and looked up at someone who looked a lot like Dally. "Hey Dally… Are you God?"

"Uh… Last time I checked I wasn't, but who knows?" he said.

"Oh… Okay. How's Darry?" I asked, wondering what Dally would look like with bright pink hair…

"He died… Soda found this doctor guy. I dunno, Doctor Frankenstein something or another. Anyway he claims he can bring the dead back," Dally explained.

"Wait a minute…." I started, but then I heard the door swing open.

"Pony! You're alive! Yeah!" Johnny walked in. I think Johnny thought me and him were gay. "We're gunna go to a party like it was 1885!"

"Um…okay?" I blinked. "Should I ask Darry?"

"Nah, he's dead anyway," Dally shrugged.

"I thought you said someone was gunna bring him back ya know?"

"You mean like in those porn movies?" Johnny asked.

"No… Like some green dude who like died, but then this other dude wanted to bring him back… And he did, then they all died, and lots of fire," Dally explained.

"Ohhhh," Johnny and me said in unison.

"So where are we goin'?" I asked.

"Uh…. Let's just go to the movies," Dally said.

"Dokey," I shrugged, getting up.

…walking to the movies…

Johnny's POV'

Dally, Pony, and me were just walkin' to the Nightly Double, but were really early, so we were just walkin' around. I think Pony's really hott….

"Um… Johnny why are you staring at me, like that?" Pony asked.

"'Cause you're so pretty- I MEAN NOT AT ALL!" I screamed. Pony fell. "Er- sorry,"

"That's okay," Pony groaned.

"Aw, love!" Dally teased.

"I AM NOT GAY!" I cried.

Dally's POV

Pony said he knew some short cut to the movies, but he got us totally lost. So were went lookin' for someone to tell us how to get there. We ran into some prissy little kids.

"Um hi… Can you tell me where we are? We got kinda lost," Pony told the kids. The little girl got real red in the face, and kicked him on the crotch. Pony started crying, so Johnny comforted his little soul. I looked at the little brat.

"What the hell are you lookin' at?"

"Nothing much obviously," I sneered. She scowled at me, and got all red in the face again… Oh no! DON'T HURT MR. TINKLES! But it too late, she kicked, and she kicked hard. Well that didn't go so well…

…later when they manage to get to the movies…

Pony's POV

I was still in A LOT of pain, especially when I sat down, but I made it through.