This fic was written because yesterday I heard a rumor that they might deal with gay suicide on Glee at some point. I almost hope this isn't the case, or if it is, they character doesn't actually DIE. That would just kill me.
So since this was on my mind yesterday, when I was first waking up this morning, my half dream-like thoughts went to it and I imagined this.
I hope you like it. I'm rather proud of this.
GLEE
He stroked the cold metal in his hands making sure to feel every angle of it. He switched it from hand to hand, feeling its weight. For something so deadly, it was surprisingly light. It wasn't nearly as intimidating as he thought it would be.
He carefully set the object on his lap and picked up the pen and paper again.
I'm sorry, he added to the end of the paper. Then he signed is name.
Then he once again picked up the gun. He was shaking now. Strange. He wasn't that nervous. He pushed the gun to his temple. The metal was hot now.
For a moment, he wondered what would happen after.
Then he decided that such things shouldn't be thought of in this situation and he pulled the trigger.
Some blood splattered on the name of Dave Karofsky, written in his messy scrawl.
…..
Kurt was walking through the empty hallway. He, Blaine, Mercedes and Mike had stayed late after Glee practice had ended. Since he and Blaine had just transferred back to McKinley, they needed to learn a lot of new songs and chorography. Mercedes and Mike volunteered to help them.
The decision to come back to McKinley hadn't been an easy one, but in the end, Kurt had missed his friends and Glee club too much to stay at Dalton.
It was only too amazing that Blaine had decided to come with him.
Today had been their first day back.
Kurt thought back to Karofsky's face when he first saw him. It was panic, nothing else. He hadn't even bullied him or say a word to him. He just turned and walked in the opposite direction.
It was almost anticlimactic. Kurt was expecting much worse.
Kurt got to his locker and pulled out his iPod. Blaine and Kurt had just finished learning a few of New Direction's new numbers, so they wanted to show Mercedes and Mike something they had been working on for a while.
He was about to start back to the choir room when he heard it.
The loud shot reverberated through everything: the air, the metal of the locker he was still touching and Kurt's chest. He jumped in surprise.
"What the -" He exclaimed. What was that?
Then it was like an ice cold bucket of water had been poured on him. He realized what that had sounded like, though Kurt had only heard such a sound in movies.
A gun.
Without even thinking about it, Kurt ran toward the sound. It had come from his left. Kurt found himself in front of the boy's locker room. Memories flood back to him. He had run to this room once before.
Kurt slowly pushed the door open, not throwing it open with the force he had last time.
And like last time, Karofsky was there.
But not. Not like last time.
"Oh my god," breathed Kurt, running to boy. He was on the ground. Kurt saw the gun, held limply in his right hand. Blood was pooling on the floor around his head.
Kurt couldn't see anything. All he could see was blood. Blood, blood, blood. He didn't even think about how it was going to get on his kaki pants.
Was he dead? Thought Kurt. No matter how much Kurt might hate the boy in front of him, he never wanted him dead.
Kurt was sure he saw the rise and fall of Karofsky's chest, though. That must be good.
With shaking hands Kurt pulled out his phone from his pocket. He dialed 911 as quickly as his unsteady fingers would allow. The 911 operator answered.
"Help!" shouted Kurt. That's the only thing that came to mind. The woman told him to calm down. Kurt resisted biting her head off and how on earth could he be calm. She asked him where he was; what had happened? "I'm at McKinley High School. The boy's locker room. A boy - a boy shot himself."
The woman said that she would send an ambulance. She asked if he wanted to stay on the line. Kurt said no. He hung up. He hoped they would get here soon.
"Karofsky?" he said, trying to get the boy's attention. He didn't want to touch him in fear something might happen. He repeated the name twice. Then he realized… "Dave?" he tried.
He stirred. He opened his eyes. Kurt was sure he recognized him. The hand that had been holding the gun, now on the floor of the locker room, reached up slowly. His hand touched Kurt's face.
It was strange to think that this hand had once held Kurt's face in a tight embrace. How Kurt had felt revulsion at that hand. Now he just felt…nothing. He let Karofsky's hand rest on Kurt's cheek before it became too weak and dropped to the ground.
"Kurt!" Kurt looked behind him. Blaine was standing there with an out of breath Mercedes and Mike. Mercedes saw what was in the locker room and ran out. Mercedes hated the sight of blood. She always got sick. Mike and Blaine were as pale as a sheet.
"What happened?" asked Blaine. He walked closer to the sight.
"I don't know," said Kurt. He was crying. "I heard a shot and - and -"
"We heard it too," said Mike. He had leaned up against a wall. "We were afraid - we were afraid that…" Mike didn't finish his sentence, but Kurt understood what he was getting at.
"No," whispered Kurt. "I found him…"
"Did you call 911?" asked Blaine.
"Yes. They're on their way." Kurt couldn't say anything else. Just after he said this, the three boys heard sirens.
The next few minutes were all a blur. Three paramedics came into the locker room, two pushing a stretcher. They quickly assessed the situation and jumped into action. One of the paramedics, a women, coaxed Kurt into standing and lead him away. The other two secured Karofsky onto the stretcher. He was taken away.
"Are you hurt?" asked the paramedic as Kurt watched Karofsky being taken away.
"No," answered Kurt.
"There's blood on your face," she pointed out. "Are you sure?"
"Oh." Kurt reached up to where Karofsky's hand had rested. He pulled his hand away and there was blood. "He just touched my face," said Kurt. The woman nodded and asked for Kurt and the others to follow. There were two ambulances outside. One was just now pulling away. It must have Karofsky in it. The paramedic asked the four to get in the other. "We'll clean you up," said the woman to Kurt.
Police cars were pulling up to the school now. The woman left and told them where the locker room was. Kurt figured they had to investigate…Kurt stopped thinking.
One cop rode in the front of the ambulance to the hospital. The four teens were taken to a small room. Kurt was given extra clothes, since his were covered in blood, and also cleaned up. As a nurse did this, the cop, a man in his 50's, asked them all questions.
Mostly Kurt, because he had gotten there first.
Kurt explained as well as he could. The sound of the gun shot, finding Karofsky and calling the police. It was all so much.
"Did you ever think that this boy was suicidal?" asked the cop.
That stumped Kurt. "Of - of course not. I…I thought…I never thought he would hurt himself. I know he was…" Kurt couldn't say that. He couldn't let it be known that Karofsky had kissed him. Only Blaine knew that.
Mercedes spoke for him. She had been clutching a trashcan the whole drive here, losing most of her lunch. "Karofsky bullied Kurt," she said. "Because Kurt is gay. Kurt felt threatened by him, because Karofsky said he would…that he would kill Kurt."
"Kurt just transferred back to McKinley today," added Mike. "He had left for about a month because nothing was being done about Karofsky's bulling."
The cop wrote this down. "So he was violent?"
"He threw me against lockers," answered Kurt. He didn't like this. Speaking bad about someone who…someone who could be…dead.
No.
"So there is no reason you have for this boy trying to take his life?" asked the man.
Kurt was silent.
"Yes." The cop turned to Blaine, who was the one who had spoken.
"No," said Kurt. He knew what he was going to say.
"It has to be said, Kurt," said Blaine. "I'm sorry." He turned is attention to the cop. "Karofsky bullied Kurt because he's gay, but that's not the only reason why he hated Kurt so much. It's because Karofsky himself is gay."
Mercedes and Mike where shocked at this. Mike dropped the pen he had been tapping against his knee.
Blaine looked at Kurt. He was suppose to talk, now. "Is this true?" asked the cop.
"Yes…" said Kurt. "He…he kissed me." Mercedes' arm reached out to Kurt's hand. "He kissed me…in the locker room." Kurt started. He realized now that the familiar way he found Karofsky was no accident. Had Karofsky purposely went to take his life in the very place that his life had, in a way, taken a turn for the worse?
"He's homophobic," said Blaine, when he realized Kurt couldn't talk anymore. "Which means he hates himself as much as he hates Kurt. I think that's why he tried to…"
"I understand, son," said the older man. "You kids sit tight. We're going to call your parents. We might have some more questions for you."
When he left, the four Glee members sat in silence for a few minutes. Mercedes broke it first.
"Kurt, babe," she began. "He…he kissed you?"
Kurt didn't want to look her face. He knew that it would be disappointment. He nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't tell anyone," whispered Kurt. "Just Blaine, so we could both talk to him. But I didn't want to tell anyone. I'm sorry." Mercedes just squeezed his hand. He knew she understood.
Kurt wasn't sure how much time passed, but soon Burt, Carole and Finn were walking through the door. Burt rushed to Kurt and asked him all sorts of questions. "Are you alright?" was the most often asked.
"I'm fine."
Kurt wasn't sure if this was true, but it's what he stuck with.
"Did Karofsky really…?" asked Finn. Kurt nodded. "Is he?"
"We don't know," said Blaine.
"He was still breathing when I found him," whispered Kurt.
The room fell silent once more, leaving Kurt to his thoughts. His brain would shut up. He just kept replaying it over and over again. The gun, the blood, Karofsky's face when he saw Kurt for that moment of consciousness…
"It's my fault," said Kurt in a hoarse voice.
Everyone turned to him. "What are you saying, Kurt?" asked his dad in a confused tone.
"It's my fault he tried to kill himself," repeated Kurt, the tears breaking lose from his eyes. "Mine. I drove him to this."
"What are you talking about?" asked Finn. "He's the one that was threatening you - how could you have driven him to…to…" Finn had a hard time saying the word.
"I just had come back," cried Kurt. He felt Blaine appear at his other side, putting an arm around him. On his left Mercedes was still clutching his hand. "He saw me in the hall and he just…he just looked scared. I didn't understand. But I know now that him seeing me…it set him off."
Carole produced a tissue from her purse and handed it to Kurt. He took it but didn't use it. "Kurt, darling, what do you mean?"
"He saw me and it remind him of what he is and he probably can't stand that," explained Kurt. He was pouring his heart out to this group of people and he couldn't stop. He was saying things he would never say if not under such stress. Kurt looked at Blaine. "That's why he bullied me so much before; I reminded him of something he didn't like about himself."
"What is that Kurt?" asked his dad.
Kurt just blew his nose loudly.
"Gay," said Blaine.
"Wait - Karofsky is gay?" asked Finn. He was completely shocked. "How do you know? Is it like, some sort of power that gay guys can know if another guy is gay, too? Like a Spidy Sense or something?"
"Finn, shut up," said Mike.
"He kissed me," said Kurt. He was too ashamed to look at his dad. Too embarrassed. Talking with his dad about boys was nothing he ever wanted to really do.
"But he's way in the closet," said Blaine. "We tried to talk to him, but he was having none of it. It's really sad, how much he hates who he is."
"And that's why he…" began Burt.
"My fault," said Kurt.
"No," whispered Blaine fiercely. "It's not your fault. He's the one that pulled the trigger, not you."
Kurt tried to believe him.
Mike and Mercedes' parents weren't able to be reached, and of course Blaine's were over an hour away, so they couldn't come. So they just waited.
Finally, a doctor came in to the room. "You're the ones that found Mr. Karofsky, correct?" she asked. The all nodded. "Well you'll be happy to know that he's going to be ok."
A huge relief swept over Kurt. He didn't know how tense he had been until that moment.
"He must have had a moment of doubt just before pulling the trigger," she explained. "Because he moved his hand and it only grazed his head. The bullet was actually found inside a locker at the school. This is actually very common in suicide attempts that involve firearms."
"But there was so much blood," said Kurt.
"Yes, well, he still did some damage, of course," she said. "But thankfully we think that no permanent brain damage was done. He was very lucky - for both missing anything important and having you find him so quickly."
Kurt remained silent.
Burt stood up and asked the woman if they could see him. He whispered, though they could still hear him. "I think he needs to see it to believe it."
"Of course, I'll ask the parents." She left.
Ten minutes later a nurse appeared for them. She asked that only a few of them come into the room. Kurt and Burt decided that they should be the ones to go. Carole stayed behind to wait with the kids.
Kurt wasn't sure what to expect, so when the nurse opened the door and told them to go in, he was scared. What he saw frightened him.
Karofsky was laying in the hospital bed. His head was heavily bandaged and he was so pale. He looked as white as the hospital gown he had on.
On either side of him was his parents. His dad, who Kurt recognized from the meeting with Sue, and his mother, a plump woman with sandy hair. Her face was red from crying.
They both looked up. His dad, Paul, stood up and shook Burt's hand. "Gooding seeing you again," he said. Burt just nodded and said it would have been better under different circumstances.
"Paul, Mary," said the doctor from earlier. "This is Kurt Hummel. He's the one that found Dave and called the police."
Karofsky's mother, Mary, stood up and hugged Kurt. It happened so quickly, Kurt couldn't do anything. "Thank you so much," she whispered. "For saving my son. Thank you so much," she repeated.
She smelled nice and felt like a mother should. Kurt didn't know why he thought this, but it was the only thing in his mind.
"Thank you, so much, Kurt," said Paul with a firm hand shake. Then he even hugged Kurt.
Kurt wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything.
Mary had sat next to her son again. He was sleeping, Kurt guessed.
It was then that the cop and another one walked in. "Sorry to barge in," said the younger of the two. "But we have your son's suicide note." He held up a piece of lined notebook paper that was inside a plastic bag. Kurt could see that there were some blood splatters on it.
The cop coughed. "We wanted to know if you wanted to read it before we file it in evidence for a while?"
Paul and Mary looked at each other. "Yes, yes we would," answered Paul. "But can you…can you read it, sir?"
The younger cop looked scared, so the older man took the letter from him. "I'll deal with this, Charlie. You go help John, ok?" He nodded and left.
Kurt felt like he and his dad were intruding on something very personal. "We should get going…" he began.
"Wait, young man," said the cop. Kurt finally remembered his name to be Ben. "You're Kurt, right?" He nodded. "You might want to stay…you're mentioned in the note."
Kurt was shocked into sitting back down in the chair. He was in it?
Paul urged Ben to read the note. Burt put a strong and reassuring hand on Kurt's shoulders. Ben cleared his throat and began to read:
Dear Mom and Dad and anyone else I'm hurting because of this,
I just can't take it anymore. I thought I was fine. I was dealing with it. Well, not dealing with it, but at least I was able to ignore it. But now he's back. I saw him in the hall and it all hit me all over again. I didn't realize I would feel so much guilt. Or longing. Or hate.
Seeing him made me remember that day almost two months ago when I kissed him and he had a look of disgust on his face. The way he pushed me away. I thought I could deal with that, but I can't any more.
I never told you any of this - heck, I've never told anyone - but I'm gay. I only ever admitted this to myself two months ago when I actually kissed him. I hate myself for being this way. I wish I wasn't. It would be so much easier.
There's no way I could ever see being confident enough to come out like he is. Our school and even our town just isn't right for gays. People hate us. I would be just as bullied as I he is now if I came out. And I feel like, with him back at the school, it's only a matter of time before I slip up and everyone finds out. I can't live knowing that will happen.
I also can't live with knowing that I love Kurt and he'll always hate me. I guess that's my fault. But it won't be anymore.
I just…I just can't.
Mom, I love you so much. Dad, I love you too and I'll miss seeing the game with you this weekend.
I'm sorry.
Dave Karofsky
Ben stopped reading. Kurt had to admire him. To read something like this and not get overly emotional and break down…though Kurt did notice he was wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry," he blurted out. "My daughter is lesbian. She was always coming home crying from school…well I just want you to know I know what it's like."
Paul just nodded, still in a bit of shock. Ben left them to talk.
Burt went over the Paul and put a firm hand on his shoulder. "Look, Paul, I know how it is to find out your son is gay…it can be…hard. But he's still your son. No different…"
"I know," said Paul. He squeezed the hand of his son. "He's not any different. It's just…surprising. And it's disappointing to know that I must have not been accepting enough, at least to him, to where he felt like he couldn't talk to me about it. That's the worst part, I think."
Mary sniffled. "Instead he felt like…he felt like he had to…"
"Is that why he was threatening you, Kurt?" asked Paul. "Because he was…ashamed of himself?"
Kurt hated to talk about Karofsky as if he wasn't in the room. "Yes. And that's why he said he would kill me. If I told anyone about the…kiss." Kurt frowned. It was so strange to keep that a secret for so long and suddenly be talking about it.
Suddenly, Karofsky made a grunting sound from the bed. Then he moaned. "W-what happened?" His voice lacked its usual roughness. He sounded so weak.
"My baby." Mary cried and pulled her son into a hug. "Oh God, please Davey, never do anything like that again."
Karofsky looked confused. "Do you remember what you did?" asked Paul. He stared blankly. "The gun…?" Sudden realization crossed Karofsky's face.
"But…am I dead?" he asked.
"No, thank God," said Mary. "Kurt heard the gun shot and found you. He called the police and they got to you in time."
Karofsky stared at his mother for a long moment before looking up. Kurt and his dad were standing a few feet away from the hospital bed. Karofsky took one look at Kurt and then looked away.
"Do you…do you know why…" Karofsky was probably remembering that his note was right next to him.
"We do," said Paul. "David, you should know that we'll always love you. It doesn't matter what you are: gay, straight or Democrat." Karofsky actually cracked a smile at this. Paul laughed and wiped away some tears. "I really wish you could have felt confident enough to talk to your mother and I. We would have…understood."
Karofsky frowned. It was obvious that he disagreed. He looked away from his dad and to his mother. She was crying. That made him awkward and he tried to find somewhere else to look. His eyes ended up on Kurt again. He probably would have turned red if we wasn't so low on blood.
His eyes were cast down. "So you know everything?"
"Everything," said Paul.
"Does that mean he read my note too?" asked Karofsky. He sounded so small.
"He was in here when they read it to us, yes. The cop thought he should be. He was in it."
Karofsky looked mortified.
Kurt felt like he should say something. He was walking up to the end of the bed before he really thought it through. "Look, Kar -" Kurt remembered in the locker room. He hadn't responded to his last name. It had been his first that roused him from unconsciousness. "Dave." Karofsky looked up at Kurt slowly.
Kurt wasn't sure what to say, but he started talking anyway. "Look, I don't hate you, like you thought in the note. I might not like you very much, but you got to know that bullying someone for years can do that." Kurt was sure that this wasn't helping. "But I don't hate you. I was mad, ok. Furious because you took my first kiss. But I don't hate you. Blaine and I really wanted to help you. You don't do that for someone you hate."
Kurt exhaled and ran his hands through his hair, probably messing it up. In fact, Kurt was sure he looked like death. Horrible hospital clothes, tear tracks and messy hair.
"I know how this is for you, I've been there and it's scary. It still is for me everyday," continued Kurt. "But you got to know that instead of taking out all this anger on me, you should have stopped and talked to me. I want to help you, Dave. You shouldn't go through life beating yourself up for something that you just are." Kurt was trying to think of what Blaine would say in this situation. He was so much better at this.
"You're not alone," he said. "I'll always be here to talk to you. And so will Blaine, if you felt comfortable with that." Kurt paused. "Just don't throw slushies on me anymore, ok?"
Karofsky - or rather, Dave - (That would take some getting used to), actually chuckled at this.
"I promise," said Dave.
It was after this that Burt decided that the Karofsky family needed time alone. He took Kurt back to the room that Carole and the others were still in. Burt told them that they could all pile into their car and he would drop them off at their houses. They actually ended up back at the school. There were still cop cars, but Blaine was able to get his car and drives Mercedes and Mike to their houses.
"I'm sorry for how this day turned out," said Blaine.
"Me too," said Kurt. "But, it seems like everything might actually work out. If Dave can get the help he needs…" Blaine agreed. He hugged Kurt tightly and got into his car. Mercedes and Mike did the same.
When Kurt got home, the first thing he did was get into the shower. He stayed in the hot water for almost half a hour. Then he got into bed and it was only seven.
Sleep was what he needed.
….
Kurt refused to skip school the next day. He got up and got ready, but when he came up to the living room, Burt told him that school was canceled for the day. There was still clean up in the locker room to do, and the school felt like the students needed a day away after something like this.
Apparently, the story had been on the evening news last night. The details were vague, but it was said that a student at McKinley had tried to kill themselves but failed.
Later in the day, Kurt went to the hospital with his dad. They picked something up from the gift shop and went to Dave's room.
He was sitting up in bed playing with his spoon. A few cups of jello sat in front of him.
"Oh," said Dave. "Hi."
"Hello, David," said Burt. "Where are your parents?"
"My mom went home to change. My dad is in the caf getting coffe," he answered.
"Do you mind if I leave you too alone? I'm going to go talk to your dad, if that's ok." Kurt shrugged and Dave just nodded.
They didn't talk for a few minutes when they were left alone. Kurt wasn't sure what to say. He knew there was so much Dave probably needed to hear, but where could he start?
"Kurt." He looked up. Dave was staring at him. "You said you would talk to me, right?"
"Yeah," said Kurt.
"Can I…just ask you stuff?"
"Of course," said Kurt. "I'll try to answer as well as possible…"
"When did you know that you were gay?"
Kurt thought about this for a moment. "I don't think there was a moment when I thought I wasn't. Or at least, I never thought I was straight. I knew I was different. I probably knew before I was thirteen. I didn't tell anyone until last year, though."
Dave just nodded. "What about you?" asked Kurt. "If you don't mind me asking."
Dave didn't answer for a long time. Kurt knew to be patient though. "Like it said in the note, I didn't really admit it to myself until about two months ago, but I knew I was different. I knew something was wrong…I wasn't like everyone else." Kurt nodded. He knew what that was like.
"I guess it was around thirteen when it started. That's when I got my first kiss. It was Brittney and god it didn't feel right at all. I just thought it was because it was the first time, but…it never did feel like all the other guys describe kissing a girl was like."
Kurt couldn't stop himself from laughing. He knew it must look really bad. "Oh my god, your first kiss was Brittney? Me too. Oh my god, that girl…"
Dave just stared at him. "But, did you say yesterday that…I was, well…" Dave looked too embarrassed to actually talk about this.
"You were. Well, the first that mattered. The first guy." Kurt frowned. "I went through this phase of trying to be the son I thought my dad wanted. That meant playing football and dating a girl, and Brittney was more than willing. So I kissed her. It didn't feel bad, but it didn't feel amazing, either." Kurt shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess that's what it was like." Dave looked like he was in deep thought.
"Kurt?" said Dave a few minutes later. "What's it like to be bullied for being gay?"
This one surprised Kurt. "It sucks," said Kurt honestly. "It's not like you're being bullied for what you're wearing or because what club you're in, because you can change those things. But being bullied for being gay is something you can't change. They're targeting a certain part of you that is completely you. It hurts more than the rest."
"I'm sorry," said Dave.
Kurt nodded.
"But when you have a family that accepts you, friends that love you, and the confidence to just be who you are without fearing the taunts, the bullying isn't so bad," said Kurt.
Silence again.
"Kurt?"
"Yes?"
"You know that I…like you now, don't you?"
"I guess I do…"
"And even though you say you don't hate me, you probably don't feel the same way. I can tell. From the…kiss."
"I…I don't, I'm sorry." Kurt didn't want to make him feel bad. "I can forgive you for the bullying and be your friend, but to be romantic…I don't think I can do that."
"I understand," said Dave.
"Besides, it's not a boyfriend you need right now, it's a friend," said Kurt. "And you definitely have that in me."
"I'm glad," said Dave. It was remarkable to Kurt that he actually looked happy about this.
"Me, too."
….
The next day they actually had school.
The night before, however, there was more on the news. This time, Karofsky's name was give as the suicide attempt victim and Kurt was the one that found him and called the ambulances.
So all day he was stared at. Some people asked him what he saw when he found Dave. He answered them politely as possible, but also in a way that said I-don't-want-to-talk-about-this-bitch-go-away.
Things, however, were going to get much worse the next day.
Kurt and his family were in the living room watching the news (not the local channel because pretty much all they were covering was Dave and repeats of Sue's Corner) when a news story came on that was horribly familiar.
"A gay teen in Lima, Ohio tried to kill himself earlier this week, but unlike so many teens committing suicide lately, he himself was not bullied. He himself was the bully." They showed a picture of Dave from last year in his football uniform. They continued to talk about how he was found my Kurt (yes, they used his name) and that in his suicide note he mentioned how he knew how he would be treated if he ever came out and that's why he wanted to kill himself.
Kurt felt sick. He couldn't believe that the news could do this. Completely expose a kid like that. They even talked to someone from McKinley. It was a random football player that Kurt had seen around school. He told the reporter that Karofsky was always bullying Kurt for being gay and in Glee club. Then he said, "I can't believe he was just as homo as him," disgust in his voice.
Kurt left the room.
The next day, the Glee club agreed that Kurt need at least three people around him at all times. At least one of them had to be a football player.
Kurt got dirty looks all day long, but surprisingly, no one actually did anything. He was sure that they thought he had personally made Dave gay or something.
The next week is when the bullies start to harass him again. He gets a slushie in the face everyday, sometimes twice. He's called horrible names and insinuations are made about him and Dave.
When he visits Dave in the hospital, he doesn't mention these things, but Dave asks one day and he feels like he has to tell him.
Dave seems upset, but doesn't dwell on it.
It amazes Kurt how much progress Dave is making. He's been talking to Kurt and a psychiatrist while here in the hospital. He can't leave until she has check him out and made sure he's not a risk to himself anymore. Not only do they talk about his suicide attempt, but also how he feels about being gay. Blaine has also come in a few times to talk to Dave and now he's ready to listen, unlike when they confronted him after the kiss.
He's still not happy about being gay, but Kurt can see he's accepting it now.
…..
Two weeks later, Kurt was walking with Blaine, Mercedes and Finn (they were still enforcing the two people and football player rule) when Azimio and another football player stood in their path. They were holding slushies.
"So Hummel, do you want us to throw this in your face for you, or do you want to do the honors?" asked Azimio. He waved the cheery flavored slushie in front of Kurt's face.
Cheery was his least favorite.
"Come one, Hummel, be a man," he taunted. "Oh wait, sorry, I forgot." He and the other guy laughed.
"Azimio, shut it." Everyone in the group comically turned in unison. Dave was standing there, arms cross. There was a bandage on his head, smaller than the one he had to wear in the hospital.
"Karofsky?" said Azimio. You could tell he was surprised for a second and then his face twisted into anger. "Sorry, I don't take orders from fairies. Why don't you just take Hummel here into the janitor's closet over there. We all know you're just dying too."
Azimio, the guy he was with and a few of the other kids that had stopped to watch the confrontation laughed.
Dave was getting flustered, Kurt could see that. "Look here, Azimio, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't kick your ass. So move it. I'm not gonna stand here and let any more bullying in this school go down."
Azimio just laughed. "Whatever, queer."
Quicker than Kurt thought possible, Dave grabbed the slushie from Azimio's hand and calmly over turned it on his head.
"That's whatever," said Dave.
Azimio stalked off, the slushie practically boiling on his skin. Dave took one look at the other guy. "You want some, Adams?" He dropped his slushie in fear, spilling most of it on his jeans. He also ran off after Azimio.
Dave only had to stare at the crowd around them for them to quickly keep walking to their classes and lockers.
"Well that was something you don't see everyday," said Finn. Dave shrugged.
"Hey, Hudson, sorry for those slushies last year," said Dave. Finn looked surprised. Dave laughed. "My therapist says I need to start apologizing for all the stuff I did out of anger. You and the rest of the Glee members will probably hear a lot of that from me soon."
Finn stared at him for a few moments they held out his hand. Dave shook it firmly. "No biggie, man. What happened is in the past. Just glad you're ok now."
"That was a valiant display," said Kurt.
"I do what I can."
"You know," said Blaine. "I think you might just be the best thing that could happen to the gay community here in Lima." Dave looked at Blaine like he was crazy.
"Do I have to push you into a fence again?" Dave said, obviously joking this time.
Blaine laughed. "No man, I mean it. You defy all the stereotypes. If anyone can show these narrow-minded kids that being gay doesn't mean high heels and rainbows, it's you, the popular jock."
Dave thought about this for a minute. "Yeah, I guess so. Thanks man."
"No problem," said Blaine. "I hope you're still up for that basketball game next month. I got tickets for most of the Glee club to come."
"Sure am," said Dave. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." He grinned. "But right now, I gotta get to class. I have about three weeks of school to catch up on. I tried doing some of it in the hospital, but you know." He shrugged.
"See you at practice," said Finn.
"Definitely," said Dave.
"Dave," said Kurt. "You gonna be ok going to class by yourself?" Kurt thought about his own little secret service."
"I will be," said Dave. "I can handle my own."
"I know that," said Kurt. "But don't let them get to you."
"I won't," he said. "Because I know I have a family who accepts me, friends that will stand by me and the confidence to keep living."
Oh God, Kurt was going to cry. "Good for you," he said.
"Ok, catch you guys at lunch?" asked Dave and all of them agreed. He would probably need a new table to sit at now.
They began to walk to their first period math class. "You know," said Blaine. "I think he's gonna be alright after all."
"Yeah," said Kurt. "I think he is." Then Kurt remembered something. He remembered the entire reason he had gone to his locker that day he heard the gun shot. To show Mike and Mercedes the song he and Blaine had been working on.
"Blaine, I have an idea…"
….
"Where are you guys taking me?"
It was after school that day. Dave had reported that he had a pretty lousy day overall. People still feared him a little, but they also weren't against throwing some gay slurs in his direction.
"You'll see," said Kurt.
Then they pulled him into the choir room. They had asked Mr. Shue if this would be ok and he seemed fine with it.
The rest of the Glee club were sitting around and talking, though they stopped when Blaine, Kurt and Dave entered the room.
Dave laughed and said, "I hope you guys aren't luring me into Glee or something. I don't think I could rock that."
"Nothing that extreme," said Puck from the chairs. "Although you wish you were cool enough to be in Glee."
"We wanted to sing you something," said Rachel. "You see, that's what we do in Glee, we sing what we're feeling."
"It takes some getting used to," said Finn.
"I'm sure," said Dave. "I predict I'm about to feel incredibly awkward."
"Probably," agreed Mike.
Kurt sat him down in a chair next to Mr. Shue. "I wrote this song a few months ago," said Blaine from his place at the piano. "It was sorta about what Kurt was going through when I first met him, but I can't deny that you were also in my thoughts a little bit with this." Dave's eyebrows rose. "It has to do with the over all feeling of…well… you remember that day when Kurt and I talked to you? I said that you aren't alone…and you aren't now either. You got all of us."
"We heard about what you did for Kurt this morning," said Rachel. "And we're really proud of you for it."
"And we also realize that doing it probably lost you a lot of friends," said Tina. "So it might sound weird and lame, but we're here to be your friends. If you want."
"And so we're gonna sing you the song Blaine wrote," said Finn. "It says a lot, we think."
Blaine nodded and started playing the piano. He was the first one to sing the beginning lyrics as the rest of the Glee club members hummed harmonies.
"I've been alone, surrounded by darkness and I've seen how heartless the world can be."
Blaine looked over at Kurt, who was leaning up against the piano for the next lyric, smiling in a sad way. He was reminiscing of what inspired this particular lyrics. "And I've seen you crying. You felt like it's hopeless I'll always do my best to make you see."
For the next lyric, obviously the chorus Kurt joined in with Blaine's voice. Dave didn't know much about music, but he knew that their voices went together perfectly. "Baby, you're not alone, cause you're here with me and nothings ever gonna bring us down, cause nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be our love is all we need to make it through."
Dave was touched by this already. The lyrics were amazing. He could see Blaine writing these about him, but he also knew that they were mostly for Kurt. Especially the parts about love. A blind man could see that Blaine loved Kurt.
Then again, who didn't? Thought Dave.
Mercedes stepped in front of the other members of the club to sing the next part. "Now I know it ain't easy," she belted out.
Blaine echoed her voice, "Now it ain't easy."
"But it ain't hard trying."
"It's so hard trying."
"Every time I see you smiling and I feel you so close to me…tell me."
The entire Glee club joined in for this part of the chorus, their voices thunderous and powerful. "Baby you're not alone, cause you're here with me and nothing's ever gonna bring us down. Cause nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be, our love is all we need to make it through."
Kurt was the one to sing the next part. "Now I still have trouble. I trip and stumble
trying to make sense of things some times."
Rachel walked to Kurt and grabbed his hand. "I look for reasons, but I don't need 'em."
They sang togther, voices flowing together in a way that caused goose bumps. "All I need is to look in your eyes and I realize."
The Glee club, besides Blaine still playing the piano, joined hands and sang to Dave. "Baby you're not alone, cause you're here with me and nothing's ever gonna bring us down. Cause nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be, our love is all we need to make it through."
Blaine sang alone, rifting off the others and falling into a falsetto. "Oohhh, cause you're here with me, and nothing's ever gonna bring us down, cause nothing, nothing, nothing can keep me from loving you and you don't it's true, oh, it don't matter what will come to be, you know our love is all we need."
The group echoed, "Our love is all we need, to make it through."
Dave sat there stunned. Mr. Shue had started clapping beside him. He did too. He was surprised to see tears in the older man's eyes.
That made Dave feel less ashamed of his own tears.
Dave stood and walked over to Kurt and Blaine. Both looked hopeful.
Without a thought, Dave hugged the two. He tried to block out any thoughts about Kurt as he did this. He knew he didn't have a chance. He didn't want this to get in the way of how he felt right now.
"Thanks," he whispered to the two of them. "To all of you," he said to the Glee club. "It means a lot." He sniffled and wiped his face. "Don't expect to do this to me all the time - I'm not a touchy feely, emotional guy on principle."
The Glee club laughed and Mike said, "Then you're gonna hate this." In unison the club attacked hugged the giant football player.
Dave decided he would let it slide, just this once.