Title: Intervention
Pairing: Bee X the other Autobots? and Bee X Most of the Decepticons? (Except Ratchet, he's just playing Ref. XDDD So Sari, BlackArachnia and Slipstream be cheerleaders? XDDDD)
Rating: T (for now)
Warning: MassCrack! Slash! And MassCrush!fic. Hints of raep and interfacing, but only a little.
Summery: (AU) Bee finally grows a processor (with the help of Sari) and finds out about everyone liking him. This, he cannot take, so he drives off for some alone time… (Some song lyrics put in there for flavoring.)
A/N Geez, it's been forever since I last wrote something. Normally, I don't care about the normal A/N format for TF slash fics, but it seems standard now, so I'll give it a shot. I've been reading Lil' Pup's fics to much…Oh, and the creature in this fic. It was my friend's idea. I swear. Lord, if THAT'S not a Mary-Sue, I don't know what is…
--
"Um, Prowl?" Bumblebee stared at the black ninja, who was glaring at Jazz, Blurr, Wasp and, surprisingly, Sari. "What's going on in here?"
"I don't know, Bumblebee." Sari answered with a confused look on her face. "Prowl! Stop looking at me like that!"
"Oh, my apologies, Sari…" Prowl said absentmindedly, and continued to glare at the three others around the room. "But these three just…annoy me, for some reason."
Jazz snorted, glaring back at Prowl. Wasp and Blurr, however, weren't paying attention to the ninjas. They were more focused on each other. The Intel Agent and the former fugitive were staring each other down.
It was common knowledge that each of them harbored a crush for the yellow mech standing in the doorway. Unfortunately, they soon found out about each other's feelings, and things had gone down hill from there. The competition had gone unnoticed by Bumblebee, but everyone else was aware of this four way feud between the mechs. Ratchet was, personally, sick of patching them all up after all their so-called 'friendly sparring matches' over who loved Bumblebee more. Also, he didn't have the spark to tell the four about how Optimus and Bulkhead had expressed feelings for the smaller mech. Thankfully, the unknown suitors kept their feelings bottled up, and therefore kept Ratchet from slaughtering every last one of them out of sheer fury.
Now, what sparked the sudden feud? While all of them had had previous feelings for Bee, it had taken a very strange dream for them to fully understand how they felt. Strangely enough, their dreams had one thing in common: Bumblebee had been in them, and he sang the same thing to them in the same, seductive tone.
I know you want me,
You know I wantcha…
I know you want meeee,
You know I wantcha…
There, the dreams had split off into the mechs' personal fantasies.
When they each awoke, they had been confused, but quite satisfied. For a month, they had vied for Bumblebee's attention, but soon found out about their rivals. At first, it hadn't been a big deal. Sure, they might lose Bee's attention, so what? Maybe that dream hadn't meant anything.
That's when the next set of dreams started. Again, they were almost the same as the others.
Bee lay beneath each of them in the dream, spark exposed and blushing furiously. It as if they had had a very…productive night. That's when Bee would beg them to be his sparkmate, saying he'd die without them. As soon as the other mech agreed, he'd remove his own spark, allowing it to merge with Bee's. The yellow mech crying their name was what would wake them up.
Prowl, being the sensible one, confessed these dreams to Ratchet.
It was only when the other three followed suit that Ratchet began to get suspicious…and worried.
It wasn't normal for this many bots to feel his way about a single comrade. He'd already heard about Optimus and Bulkhead liking Bumblebee, but this was getting ridiculous.
Unfortunately, the poor Medic had no idea that mechs on the other side of the spectrum had feelings for the little yellow bot known as Bumblebee.
--
BlackArachnia had had it up to HERE with her stupid comrades.
Due to a lack of activity, they had all gone, as the humans said, bat shit crazy over a certain Autobot. Bumblebee…She groaned as a loud crash came from above. Transforming, she scuttled out of her room to investigate, betting herself a cube of high grade that it was Starscream and Megatron fighting over that STUPID Bumblebee holo-projection she'd taken out on a scouting mission.
Aaaand, she was right. She owed herself a cube of high grade.
"Starscream, I need that holo-photo!"
"Like slag! You just want to pleasure yourself while looking at that Autoslag's AFT!"
"Are ze at thiz again?" BlackArachnia turned to see a very agitated Blitzwing walking towards her.
"Sadly, yes. I'm thinking I made a bad choice when I took the image from BEHIND the blasted Autobot." She sighed. "Still, at least it keeps them from bothering me…" The techno-organic soon saw she was talking to herself, as Blitzwing had joined in the fight to capture the coveted holo-projection. Sighing again, she scuttled down the hall and up into the Seeker's Wing (No pun intended). Perhaps she could talk to Slipstream, the only other femme in this 'plugfest', as her friend so casually put it.
As she reached the entrance to the Seekers' personal 'Roost', she transformed and found herself face to face with a very angry Slipstream.
"Oh, it's just you." The purple and teal femme snarled. "I swear, my stupid brothers are arguing again…I hate them."
"Let me guess…" BlackArachnia replied, crossing her arms. "Bumblebee?"
"Actually, yes." The other femme replied.
"Thought so."
--
"Sari, I don't get it." Bee sighed in an exasperated way. They had just finished a racing game, and they were taking a few minutes to breath before the next round. "Why is it when ever I walk into a room, those four are acting nice to me, but they fight when they think I'm not looking?"
"Bee, not to be mean, but I'm thinking you should open your optics." Sari replied nonchalantly. "Isn't it fairly obvious that all four of them like you?"
"Well, sure they like me. I'm their teammate."
"No, I mean, LIKE like you."
"Huh?" Bee's frowned. "That's impossible. Those guys are too good-looking for me. Besides, they probably have fans back on Cybertron who are better than me...In more ways than one."
"Well, we AREN'T on Cybertron, Bee! You'll need to face the fact that they all WANT YOU."
"Ohh…" Bee huffed. He didn't want his friends fighting especially over him! "Y'know what? Until they settle their differences, NONE of them can have me."
"What d'you mean?" Sari asked.
"I mean, I'm going to run away for a little while. I'll stay out of their range until they can stop their senseless fighting…Well, after this round, but once this is over, I'm REALLY running away!"
"You can't do this by yourself, y'know."
"True. Maybe I can get some help."
--
The next morning, Prowl awoke to a silent base. Sliding out of his room, he crept towards Bumblebee's room to see if he could catch the little mech sleeping. Primus, he was so cute when he was asleep. Sometimes, he'd even nuzzle Prowl's hand in his sleep. Looking round, he made sure no one was around before slinking into the yellow mech's room.
The first thing he noticed was the fact that the television was off. Bumblebee had a habit of playing video games until he fell asleep, and he'd leave the television running.
The second thing he noticed was that Bumblebee was gone, and there was a datapad on his berth.
Picking up the pad, he looked it over.
--
-Dear Teammates,
I was told that a lot of you have had a massive crush on me. That's fine, but I was also told it was causing a lot of in-fighting between you guys. So, I've run away until you all can settle your differences.
Goodbye indefinitely,
Bumblebee
--
Ratchet awoke to a loud shouting match in the living room. Groaning and rolling off his berth, he plodded out to see Blurr, Wasp, Jazz and Prowl arguing and looking like they'd kill each other in two seconds. Optimus and Bulkhead, meanwhile, were trying to make sense of the whole situation and calm them all down.
"QUIET, YOU BRATS!" Ratchet shouted, silencing all the bots. "Good. Now, would any one like to tell me what's going on?"
"Bumblebee'srunaway!" Blurr replied worriedly.
"What?" Ratchet asked. He STILL ha a hard time understanding what the blue mech saying most of the time.
"He said that Bumblebee's run away." Jazz translated.
"This is all your fault, you slags!" Wasp snarled at the others.
"Actually, it's OUR faults!" Prowl snarled, and all the mechs fell silent again. "The note said that Bumblebee figured out that we ALL liked him and that was the cause of our fighting. We all drove him away."
There was a moment of silence, before Ratchet asked, "Ok, just so this is all clear, raise a servo if you happen to LIKE Bumblebee like that." All the bots, save for Sari and Ratchet, raised a servo.
Prowl looked at his leader and teammate with surprise. "You two like Bumblebee as well?" He asked. They nodded.
"Well, now that THAT'S cleared up, let's go find Bee before the Decepticons do." Ratchet said. The other bots suddenly realized that Bumblebee wouldn't stand a chance against a Decepticon all by himself. All of them immediately transformed and pealed out of the base to look for their beloved Bee, leaving Sari and Ratchet in their dust.
--
As Bee made his way towards the mountains, he really hoped he hadn't upset his teammates too much. Still, if this was the only way they'd stop fighting, then so be it.
He was so focused on his destination that he failed to notice the large shadow over him until it was too late.
It took Megatron crashing on top of him to snap him out of it. Transforming, he barely managed to avoid being stepped on by the Decepticon leader. Looking up at his face, he gulped. Megatron was giving him the same look that his teammates gave him every time he walked into the room. There was no way he could even HOPE to beat him in combat, so he quickly turned to run.
That's when he crashed into Lugnut's frame.
As he fell back, stunned, the larger 'Con grabbed him in a vice-like grip.
"Oh, great and glorious Megatron!" Lugnut announced. "I have captured the mech that you desire!" He held up the still stunned Bee for his leader to claim.
"Excellent work, Lugnut." As he was about to take the smaller mech from his servant's pincer, something collided with his back and knocked him forward. Meanwhile, a figure snatched Bumblebee from Lugnut, earning a shriek of rage from the purple and green mech.
--
Bumblebee's optics came back online, and he found himself looking at Starscream.
"What the-?!" Bee gasped. "Get off me!" He tried to struggle, but he soon stopped after see he was several stories of the ground. The yellow mech yelped and unintentionally clung to the Decepticon flyer.
"Oh, it's alright, little Bee." Starscream cooed. "I won't drop you. You'll get used to the feeling of flying after we become mates."
WAIT. Did Starscream just say what he though he said?
"WHAT? You've got to be slaggin' kidding me!" Bee snarled.
"No, my dear Bee, I'm not." Suddenly, a blast from below hit the Seeker square in the chest, and Bumblebee fell from his grip. As the poor mech tumbled from his grasp, he felt for sure he was going to be terminated permanently the second he hit the ground.
Whether through a stroke of luck or something far more sinister, Bee felt himself land in the arms of someone much, MUCH larger than he was.
Switching his optics back on, he saw that Megatron had caught him.
Thankfully, it was at this point his teammates finally tracked him down and came to his rescue.
"Let go of him, you pile of slag!" Bulkhead yelled.
"Stupid Autoslags!" Megatron snarled. "Your precious companion belongs to me now!" He would have said more, but at that point, Prowl had lost his temper and hurled a shuriken directly into the Decepticon's optic. Screeching in pain, the larger mech dropped his prisoner as the other Autobots piled onto their common enemy.
Bee landed on his aft, but wasn't hurt. Looking at the chaos around him, he sighed. This was exactly why he had to stay away from the others for a little while. Looking back at his friends one last time, he transformed and drove off.
--
Finally, he reached a large cave that Ratchet told him about. It would be a good hideout, and there were some oil barrels here from a while back. Night had fallen, and he inspected the cave, stingers at the ready. Fortunately, the cave was empty, save for a few piles of faded pink metal and a few shiny crystals
After drinking a little oil, he sat at the mouth of the cave, wondering if the others were still looking for him. "Primus, if they weren't all fighting over me, then I wouldn't be holed up here." He muttered. Heading deeper into the cave, he fell into recharge, wishing his friends would find someone else to love…
Later that night, the piles of metal glowed blue and floated together. The pieces stuck together to form a strange, ragtag bot who had nothing in between the scales of metal to hold it together. At the center of its chest were three fragments of the Allspark that took the shape of a heart. The pink bot held a bow that was two shades darker than its armor and on its back was a quiver filled with pink glowing arrows.
Apparently, the Allspark could grant wishes. As Bee slept, the bot touched the smaller mech's forehead and extracted the names of all the bots in love with him. Analyzing this list, the bot was puzzled. The only things these bots had in common were that they wanted this mech for one reason or another.
Well, this wouldn't do. Shouldering the bow, the bot walked out of the cave and towards the slumbering city.
This mech wanted all these unwanted suitors to not love him any more.
That could be arranged.
As the creature strode through the darkness, it seemed to step to an unheard beat. As it continued, it sang a little song with a metallic voice
"I gotta feeling," It sang, "That tonight's gonna be a good night…
That tonight's gonna be a good night…
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night…"
-TBC?-
--
A/N OK, it's done for now. Expect more chapters with more pairings, but none involving Bee…physically. Dream sequecnces, maybe.
Songs mentioned:
-I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho) – Pitbull
-I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas