I'm a fucking rock star, but not in the typical sense. I mean, I live the rock star life- playing shows every night, trashing rooms drunk and high with whatever girl I choose to bring home that night- but there's one problem: I don't have the rock star money. The shows I play are in bars and the rooms I trash are typically in my seedy apartment. But it's fine-Billy Fucking Joel got his start this way and now look at him. I'm not really worried. I have all the time in the world.
Tonight was just a typical Friday. I had just finished my set at the Hilltop (which, super fucking ironically is at the bottom of a hill) and was making my way over to the bar to await whatever woman decided to make her way over to me- and trust me when I say man do they come!
"Negan, I gotta talk to you!" The owner, Zeke, bellowed over the crowds surrounding us.
"Seriously, dude? I haven't even had a drink yet!" Obviously he missed the joke because I was already a little wasted and he knew it. I sighed and made my way to the back of the bar and into his office. "Look, I already opened my tab so don't start bitching about me taking advantage of my free drink privileges."
"Negan," Zeke rubbed his hands over his eyes. "I like you man, I really do, but your drinkings really effecting your performance."
"I resent that!" I tried my best to keep from slurring. "I always put on a damn good show! I'm better than Springsteen!"
"Right," Ezekiel scoffed. "Because you're really selling out arenas." He rubbed his hands over his eyes again and took a deeo breath. "Let's talk about why I actually called you in here." I leaned back in my chair and looked at Zeke, preparing for whatever he was about to say. "Look, you've been singing her for what, three years? You always bring in a good crowd, but you're getting old."
"You got some fucking nerve!" I scoffed. This douchebag was older than I was by probably ten years.
"And that's why i own this place and don't just play guitar at it." He barked in response. "I'm going to tell you this one time, and I don't care if you like it or not, so listen close. I've brought in another act. Right now they're just your opening act, but if this drinking shit goes the way it's going, they are going to be the act. So sober the fuck up while you're onstage."
"Now that is some rock star shit!" I bellowed and slapped my palm on the table. "An opening act? Might as well start planning the tour now!"
Zeke shook his head. "Get out of my office."
I smirked and slid out of my seat. Maybe I was coming closer to the cusp of greatness- this was my fucking shot and it was time to celebrate. "Give me a whisky on the rocks!" I called to the bartender. I looked around at the groups of kids crowded into the bar. At one point this place was just a hole in the wall, but now it was one of the most popular places in town thanks to all that hipster shit. I mean, I'm not fucking complaining. I get to screw girls half my age every night. I'm living the fucking dream.
Speaking of which, I needed to find the lucky girl that got to go home with me tonight. I scoped the room but no one really struck my fancy until I saw the girl sitting right next to me. She was chit chatting with some guy next to her but he seemed way more interested in the bartender than her. Good thing he plays for the other team.
"How you doing?" I asked casually.
She turned her head slowly to look at me, her brown hair falling over her shoulders. Her chocolate eyes looked me up and down and she let out a little laugh before she turned away.
What the fuck?
"Don't be rude now, darlin'." I smiled at her as she sneaked a glance in my direction. "It doesn't fit that pretty face."
"Do you always flirt with the girls who take your gig?" She smiled sweetly and slid off the stool.
I smirked at her. So this is my opening act. I could totally tour with that.
Come on, Matt." She tapped the guy next to her. "We have a gig." I watched as they made their way to the little area designated for live music. This outta be good. I sipped my whisky and watched as the little guy slid onto a stool and started to mess with a guitar while she adjusted her mic stand. From how far she adjusted the stand, she was probably about a foot and a half shorter than me, which would make her almost five foot. Cute. "Hey guys!" She smiled into the mic at the curious crowd gathering around them. "I'm Lucy, that's Matt and due to lack of creativity we are Lucy and Matt." Original. "We're going to sing you some songs."
I watched in amazement as a big voice bellowed out of the tiny girl when they started their first song. I recognized it as that fat chicks song where she just says "Hello?" All over again. She was actually mezmorizing. I guess I have my work cut out for me here.
After their set, she returned back to the bar to finish the beer the bartender was watching for her. "Where's your friend going?" I asked as I observed him slipping out of the door with the other bartender.
She shrugged and took a sip from her beer. "I'm not his baby sitter."
"I could be yours." I winked, wincing internally. That was definitely not my best line.
"That's actually really disturbing." She said as she slid off the stool. "I'll see you next week. I mean, unless we scared ya off." With a wink, she disappeared into the crowd and was gone from my line of sight.
What the fuck just happened?
Hey guys, so first things first- I most definitely don't think Adele's fat, I was relating it back to his lines about Olivia.
Second- let me know what you think!