Chapter 1

Tension filled the air as the couple looked at one another. Tsukushi's face, almost sallow in the saffron light from the wall lamp above her head, was twisted in anguish even while her soft brown eyes held an expression of protesting disbelief.

"You're – admitting it, Rui? You're telling me it's true -- What you've j-just said?"

"I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true," he returned impatiently. "I want my freedom. I've met someone else. I can't put it any plainer than that, can I?" He turned away, frowning. "I've said I'm sorry, and that I don't want to hurt you --"

"Hurt me?" she broke in fiercely. "You don't want to hurt me? What are you doing but hurting me? I love you Rui! I won't give you up to another woman! I won't!" She winced with pain as she heard the exclamation of anger that followed her protest.

"Fortunately divorce is simple these days," he said. "If you won't divorce me then I shall divorce you."

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. Fumbling for a handkerchief, she again protested, saying disjointedly that it wasn't true – it could not be true! They loved one another! His interest in this girl was nothing more than infatuation! Rui knew this, surely he knew it.

"it can't be deep!" she cried, the sob in her throat causing her to stammer. "It's m-me you -- you l-love! You can't break up our marriage for someone you've known for only a few months!"

"What has time to do with it? You and I hadn't known one another very long when we got married."

Tsukushi turned from him, the handkerchief to her eyes. He was right; it had been a whirlwind courtship, with Rui, tall and fair and handsome, sweeping her off her feet and declaring he would not even consider the six-month engagement which Tsukushi had wanted.

"You're too beautiful and tempting. I want you now!" He had taken her in his arms, crushing her to him, kissing her passionately. Her dark hair was like silk, he said, burying his face in it, her skin was soft as the petals of a milk-rose, her eyes gentle and trusting as a fawn's. Tsukushi at eighteen had fallen madly in love with him, and for the past four years her life had been bliss. Orphaned at the age of six, she had been brought up by an aunt who had since died. She had been good to Tsukushi but often over-strict.

"Marry in haste – you know the rest," said her aunt warningly, but Tsukushi followed the dictates of her heart, confident that the day would never dawn when she would regret it. But about three months ago Rui had begun working late at the office, and once or twice recently he had told his wife that he was wanted at the firm's head office, which was more than two hundred miles away. Tsukushi had thought it strange that his boss should send him off at a week-end, but Rui was ready with a most convincing explanation which his trusting wife accepted without question. Yet somehow, she was affected by nagging doubts as time went on. These doubts she managed to thrust away, admonishing herself for her suspicions. They were not really suspicions, but rather the merest threads of curiosity about the work which her husband was called upon to do. She had never questioned him, though. It would have been impossible to do so, simply because there was no substance in these threads of curiosity. Her seraphic innocence, her complete trust, her confidence in his loyalty … all these had appealed to him, and in the beginning he would have been shocked if by some miracle he could have seen what he was to do to her in the future.

But this girl he had met three months ago had drawn him irresistibly by her voluptuous beauty, by her vivacious nature, her vitality and her experienced love-making. These things he admitted, as his wife stood there, her back to him, her shoulders drooping, her heart dying in excruciating agony within her.

"And so you see," he told Tsukushi finally, "there's nothing left for you and me. I do love her, in spite of what you say, and I want to marry her. I hope, Tsukushi, that you'll be sensible and stop acting as if we're the first people this sort of thing has happened to."

"How can you be so heartless about it?" she cried, turning again to face him. "These four years when we've been so happy together – sharing, loving – don't they mean anything to you?"

He sighed and frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "The chapter's closed as far as I'm concerned, Tsukushi. We're having a divorce, and that's my final word."

It wasn't possible! This could not be happening – not to the – her and the husband she adored! No, it was a horrible nightmare….

"Are—are you g-going out w-with her tonight --?" The choked sensation in Tsukushi's throat once again caused her to tamer over her words. The pain in her heart was almost physical, the anguish in her mind unbearable.

"Yes, I am."

"Wh-where are—are you g-going?" Tsukushi's voice held a plea, a plea for him to change his mind. She was willing him to change his mind.

"To the Maple," he answered, his voice sulky now as guilt began to penetrate the cold determination with which he had embarked on hi confession.

"The Maple – for dinner – and – d-dancing?"

Rui gave a smothered exclamation.

"For heaven's sake, Tsukushi, stop torturing yourself, will you! Yes, we're dancing and dining! You'll soon find someone else and do the same yourself!" He glanced at the clock. "I'm going up to change. Why don't you go and see Yuki? She's a good friend and you can confide in her. It'll do you good!" And with that he was gone, sweeping past her without giving as much as a glance at her bewildered state.

"It seems, that I've failed you. Physically?" She was a little calmer now, at least outwardly.

"Shizuka's experienced; she does attract me physically," admitted Rui, not attempting to avoid his wife's accusing gaze. "I can't help it, Tsukushi, it's human to err--"

"Don't!" she broke in angrily. "What would you say if the positions were reversed-- if t were I who'd been unfaithful?"

He frowned and muttered sulkily, "Women are different from men."

The old cry! What price equality of the sexes when a man could still say a thing like that?

"I love you," she said, but there was no one to hear those words anymore.

I'm not gonna give you up that easily.

xoxoxoxox

missymace