Don't Touch Me
They looked like they wanted to give me a hug, let me know it was alright. But. No matter how much i wanted them to touch me, they couldn't. I wonder how long it will take them to realise my secret.
...
"I was...it seems...mistaken." Voldemort said.
"You weren't." I said it as loudly as i could, with as much force that i could muster. I didn't want to sound afraid when all i wanted was to run. But i knew i couldn't, i was the last one, the last hurcrux. Nagina dead at Neville's hands. I barley felt the resurrection stone slip from my fingers, the figures of the dead disappearing from the corner of my eye.
The giants suddenly roared, death eaters stood and laughed at my oncoming death. Voldemort stood frozen, only his eye's moving to seek out my place, only the fire separating us. Than a voice yelled-
"NO HARRY." I knew it was hagrid, the kind-hearted half-giant. The person who introduced me to the wizarding world all those years ago. I felt remorse at the fact he would watch my death. Hagrid straggled against the ropes that held him to the tree.
"Quiet!" Shouted Rowle, throwing a silencing spell. Bellatrix was looking from voldemort to me in excitement, her breaths heaving. The flames were the only thing moving.
I could feel my...Draco's...wand against my chest, but i made no move for it, it was my time to die. Voldemort tilted his head to the side, looking like a child wondering what would happen if he proceeded.
"Harry Potter." He whispered, voice barley heard over the spitting of the fire. "The boy who lived."
No-one moved, everyone, everything, was waiting. I thought of Ginny, of how she looked, how her lips tasted against mine. As voldemort raised his wand, I looked into his red eyes, and wanted it to happen now, wanted end before fear got the better of me, before i tried to run.
I watched his mouth move and a flash of green light. Than...I was floating. For once i felt no pain, didn't feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt free.
I looked down and saw the death eaters huddled round voldemort, i could see even from here, and that he was dead. I looked straight down and saw a young man lying on the dirt and i knew that this bliss was the road to the afterlife.
For a second, i didn't mind this thought. I would see my parents again, Remus, tonks, Fred. But than i remembered the living, and i made my decision. I stopped floating and started to fall lightly, like a feather. I landed on the dirt covered floor. Slowly, i stood and shook the dirt off me. I looked up at a loud crack, and smiled. Death eaters were apparating away from there lords body.
Hagrid was staring down at the ground, scared to look up.
Bellatrix was screaming and holding voldemort body to her, yelling 'Traitors' at the fleeing death eaters. She was the first one to notice me. "POTTER!" She screamed in anguish and started firing curse after curse at me. I didn't feel anything as they missed their mark, not surprising since she was blind from tears. One curse missed and hit something on the floor and sent it tumbling into the fire. She finally lowered wand and the remaining death eaters looked at me, confused.
Lucius was the first to realise, he started laughing without humour. His mad laugh ringing through the clearing. Others got it as well and started to
Laugh their own mad laughs. I just stood there, looking at them with an expressionless face.
"HARRY." Yelled hagrid, the spell broken as Rowle fled. I turned and looked at his heart-broken face. I heard the sound of running feet; apparently the aurors had found us. I looked at hagrid and mouthed, "No-one must know." Tears running down his face, he nodded.
Fighters ran into the clearing and started firing spells at the remaining death eaters. Bellatrix hugged her master's body to her, and still staring at me, laughed insanely.
"Harry!" Hermione and Ron ran towards me, Hermione's arms spread wide to give me a hug. Hating myself for it, i side-stepped. She skidded to a stop and looked at me, hurt shining in her eyes.
"What's the matter, mate?" Ron said, starting to put his hand on my shoulder, i side-stepped that too. I looked at them both, my true friends who had been through everything with me. My true friends who were looking at me with hurt in their eyes. Letting my eyes show all my pain and self-loathing. I said-
"Don't touch me."
It seemed like i repeated that phrase hundreds of times, every time hating myself just a little bit more. Ginny was the worst.
"Harry!" She yelled, her hair streaming behind her as she ran towards me. She looked so beautiful, all i wanted to do was spread my arms and take her in, breath her vanilla sent and never let her go. But i wasn't ready. I also knew i would never be able to side-step the love of my life.
Luckily, Hermione pulled her to the side and started talking to her. Ginny walked up to me and looked at me with those brown eyes that i had fallen for and whispered. "Can I hug you?"
I looked down at her, so close... and yet i couldn't raise my arms and take her in. "Don't touch me." I whispered, so low i hoped she hadn't heard, but she did. It felt like knifes driving into my chest as i watched her heart-broken expression. She walked away.
Hogwarts felt cold as i walked into it, empty of life and love. Sure, we had won the war, but was this called winning. No. Families looked for each other, calling names and crying when no reply was heard. I walked towards the headmaster's rooms and found the gargle still on its side.
Not bothering to ask, i walked up. The door was still open from where i left it. I walked in and looked straight into the eyes of the Dumbledore.
His eyes lit up like Christmas had come early at seeing me.
"My boy, you won! I'm so proud of you." His ramblings of praise and relief slowly died away as i continued to stare at him, expressionless. His face took a worried expression.
"Where are Hermione and Ron?" He asked, fearing the worst for them. I smiled at him without humour. "Their alright." Was all i could say?
Severus continued to scrutinise me, finally, dawning lit his face. As well as horror and...Pain. He started to shake his head and tears started to stream down Dumbledore's face.
I just smiled at them again and walked out the door. Hearing Dumbledore's sops echo in my head as i walked down the stairs.
Many people stayed at Hogwarts with their loved ones bodies, afraid to leave. The next morning was worse, people coming up to me and thanking me, trying to shake my hands and give me reassuring hugs, i barley got away with my secret. The weasleys were devastated at Freds death, George was the worst. Hardly eating and speaking to no-one. I didn't think he would survive the years apart... i hoped i was wrong, hoped fate wasn't that cruel.
The next day was the funerals. Headmistress McGonagall and Minister Shaklebolt decided the fallen should be buried here at Hogwarts. Hundreds showed to give their respect, hundreds more showed to be buried. I stood apart from everyone else, wanting so badly to go to them, but not ready to face the truth. I looked down at Remus's and Tonk's shared coffin as it was lowered into the ground, holding tears back with everything i had. Suddenly, i heard a babies cry.
Looking around, i found myself looking at a beautiful baby with grey hair, clutching a teddy that looked like moony in his wolf form. I knew this was Teddy, my godson. Holding him was Mrs Tonks, weeping silently.
Feeling eyes on her, she looked around and spotted me. Drying her eyes, she walked towards me, bouncing teddy up and down, whispering words of comfort and love in his ear. Standing next to me, she looked at my godson and back at me, seeing the longing in my eyes.
"Would you like to hold him?" She asked, turning teddy towards me. Teddy, seeing something new and unknown, reached out. Forgetting myself, i went to hold out my arms...but put them back at the last minute. Mrs Tonks looked at me with curiosity in her eyes.
I looked down and whispered-
"I can't touch him." Not getting the truth out of my words, she looked at me with compassion in her eyes.
"It gets easier, i promise." She whispered and walked back. I looked back down as the dirt was neatly placed onto Mooney's and Tonk's coffin.
"Please be right." I whispered. Feeling eyes on me, i looked around and met the eyes of my sister in everything but blood. Hermione. I noticed that look right away, it was the look it got when she had a puzzle and wasn't going to stop till the answers found.
I shook my head and looked away, smiling. Of course Hermione was going to crack this first. I walked down to the lake and away from the crowds of mourners. Finally, i found a place where no-one could see me and sat down on the grass. Numb to the feeling of dew on my skin.
I don't know how long i sat there, just watching the ripples on the water from where the giant squid had been splashing water. Clearing my head of emotion. Not hard, as i had been acting on auto pilot these past few days. But when i looked up, the sun was already setting.
I stood and started back to the castle. I spent my night hiding from everyone and everything. Wondering the castle, i couldn't help but be frightened by the stillness. Silly, for demons no longer strolled these halls, only in my mind.
I didn't notice the grey lady till i nearly walked into her. I jerked my head up and saw her smiling compassionately at me. Warmth and respect shining in her eyes. She went to put her hand on my shoulder, or through it. I stood back and shook my head.
"I'm not ready." I said while looking at the floor, imagining the blood that had ran free just two days ago. A part of me marvelled that it was clean so soon, that the stains wouldn't remain. I looked up and saw a hint of sadness in her eyes.
"It was for the best," She whispered. "It will get easier." She floated away, leaving me once again hoping with all my might that it will. The night seemed endless after that.
The next morning found myself standing in the shadows, watching my segregate family get ready to leave Hogwarts and head for the burrow. Now that Fred was buried they could finally face the emptiness of home. George still looked pale and depressed, but at least was talking. I turned and started down the empty corridor. Tears started to blur my eyes and a ringing started in my ears.
Just walking, walking away from everything. From Ron, Hermione, all the people that have died because of me. Away from Hogwarts...Away from Ginny. The ringing in my ears blocked out all noise. I walked to the top of the astronomy tower and stood there, looking at the sun high in the sky.
Then, a hand went through my shoulders. Not on my shoulders, though. The ringing in my ears stopped.
Time stood still, watching and waiting to see what will happen. The hand started to shake and left my arm. I turned.
And there was Ginny.
Red hair whipping in the wind around her face like a halo, her skin white and her lips pink. A beautiful combination. Her sparkling brown eyes were full of tears...one freed itself and started to run down her cheek, she made no move to wipe it away.
I looked at her with longing, pain and love in my eyes; she looked so much like an angel. An angel that will never be mine.
For how could she be mine, when i no longer lived in the world she did?
"Cross over." Ginny's voice was gentle and full of love. Her eyes showered the pain and strength it took to say that.
I put my hand up and caroused her cheek affectionately, never touching.
"I will always love you." I said. My body started to break apart and transform into red flower petals and float away in the wind. Soon Ginny was alone.
"And I love you, forever."
...
I know this is REALLY corny, but i couldn't help it. I also know that ghosts are meant to be seeing through but these ghosts aren't. This just wouldn't leave me alone, and it was also really fun to write. PLEASE, PLEASE, Pretty Please with a Cherry On Top REVIEW. (Puts on a puppy dog face)Thanks.