**Disclaimer** I do not I repeat I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I own Edward Scissor Hands, Happy Days, or Twilight. But I do own a few pairs of Chuck Taylors.
Professor Dumbledore lay in bed with his legs intertwined with Lord Voldemorts. "If anyone found out about us Dumble my love they would have us killed." "I know Voldekins, but we are the most powerful wizards how could they stop us." Dumbledore said this as Lord Voldemort traced a small v along his chest. "Our love runs deep and I think we should solidify it by making love one more time," Voldemort spoke with such haste that Dumbledore could not resist pulling him in tightly for a kiss.
As the two most powerful wizards were interlocked in passion the glow from their wands was the only thing visible in the room. Dumbledore unlocked his lips from Voldemort's, "Voldekins I just had a spectacular idea we should combine ourselves to make the most powerful wizard." "Aye my love together we shall rule with an iron fist. With the Voltorie already on our side how could we lose?" With that they sat up and simultaneously touched wands. "Scooby Dooby Doo" they said and a bright light flashed.
(In Forks)
Edward and Bella are arguing, because Bella has cheated with one of the greatest young wizards of the time, Harry Potter. Apparently Bella is planning to leave Edward, but the torch Edward holds for her burns too brightly to let her leave without a fight.
"Bella I can't believe you fucked him! How could you?" "Edward, Harry is just a better lover than you and his dong is huge as well." Edward grabs Bella by the throat, "I should rip your head off for you infidelities, but I just love you too much. Please stay with me woman, my heart belongs to you." Bella not in the slightest bit frightened by Edward's ferocity begins to speak, "I am sorry, but I am pregnant with a little Potter. It will be the greatest half wizard half vampire to grace the Earth. We will call it a Wizpire, and we will breed a new race." Edward then loosens his grip, and Bella hastily leaves to be with Harry.
(In London)
Harry is arguing with Ron, because he had a threesome with Ginny and Hermione and was able to shoot his load well enough to get them both pregnant.
"Harry you bastard I can't believe you would do this to me!" "Look here playboy I got needs nigga, I got needs." Ron now becomes enraged and pulls his wand from his pocket, "There is no other way to settle this, we must have a duel." "Ron I will kill you! Don't be a bitch it was just a little sex. You can find another woman. Hermione is a skank anyway. She hoped on this thang no questions asked." Ron begins to cast a spell, but Harry thwarts his progress with no problems. "Zippady Do Da," a bright golden flash shoots from Harry's wand and Ron explodes right in from of him.
(At The Ministry of Magic)
Since Voldemort and Dumbledore have become one they have become the strongest wizard in the land. They have all the workers gather round so they can introduce themselves as Minister Headmaster Lord Dumblemort.
"Gather round bitches the minister has an announcement to make," Wormtail shouts at the crowd. The crowd becomes silent when the face of Dumbledore steps onto the stage. Dumbledore places his wand on his neck and his voice echoes as if it were coming from a loud speaker. "You may not have known that for the past year Lord Voldemort and myself have been in an intense gay love affair. I know you must be shocked!" Dumbledore scans the crowd, but much to his surprise there isn't a shocked face in the crowd. "Anyways, we have decided to become one and we will from here on out be known as Minister Headmaster Lord Dumblemort." Dumbledore takes off his over coat to reveal that he is a two-headed man. One head is his and the other belongs to Voldemort.