Title: I'll Remember You
Author: Mel
Rating: G
Teaser: Post-Darkness missing scene
Feedback: oh yes, feed me feed me! Just as good as a Quickening! Lol
I had this fic all done once, but when I tried to mail it to my inbox for safekeeping, it got lost in the process and had to be rewritten. This isn't the original song I'd picked, but I like it much better for this fic. There'll probably be some companion stories to it in the future-had a Richie/Mac talk going on in here, but I decided that all needed its own fic. Might want to keep the hankies handy for this one. Song is "I'll Remember You," Atlantic Star.
I'll Remember You
"Words have left us all alone And death has come between us To turn the fire cold
A lone figure stood solemnly, silently in the midst of a Paris cemetery, at the foot of a large slab of stone that marked the place of a crypt. The only identifier was a small, simple plaque on top of the stone that read
Tessa Noel 1964-1993
For Duncan Macleod, this still didn't seem possible. Everything still seemed as if it would reveal itself any moment to be nothing more than a bad dream he could wake up from. And he still woke up each morning expecting her to be there, curled up next to him just as she had been every morning for slightly more than a decade. And then he would open his eyes to see that he was alone yet again. Thoughts that chase you in the night Silently they stole, The light from in your eyes
He had known all long that, sooner or later, this day would come, but not now, not like this. She was so young, vibrant, so fully of life...and now she was gone. And it was all so senseless, so needless. Over the years, both he and Tessa had allowed themselves to believe that whatever happened, he would be able to protect her. What he had received now was a cold, harsh wake up call that he hadn't ever really been able to protect her at all. She was his beacon, his reason to keep on fighting...and now that light had been brutally snuffed out.
She was mortal; a fragile creature fully susceptible to whatever life chose to throw at her. But, she was a strong, confident person who refused to be pushed around and who didn't hesitate to make her feelings known. She knew when she woke up each morning that neither of them ever knew if they would even live through the day any more than normal people did, but it didn't matter to her. She willingly chose to be a part of his life, even though it was a dangerous, uncertain, always changing world that he was a part of. And I remain alone No matter who may try and take your place, oh, no
Duncan thought back to the conversation they'd had about a year ago, about what happened to an immortal in a time like this. Time and again, he'd been through this, over and over he'd lost loved ones and friends, but that didn't make it get any easier. He felt now exactly the way he'd described to her: Naked...alone...empty...vulnerable. He'd felt many times the feeling of a part of himself dying with a loved one, but it had never felt like this before. She was unlike anyone he'd ever known before, the one he would've chosen to spend forever with if it were possible, and losing her made him feel as though a part of his soul had died with her.
They hadn't been married legally, but he had often felt that, in a way, they were married, because they were so closely bonded to each other. Marriage of the soul...two spirits so deeply intertwined with each other that they could never be separated. They felt each other's pain, shared each other's emotions...almost as though the two had become one. And I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever The Scot thought back to when he'd met her that day in Paris on the boat. There had been an instant connection between them, a real 'love at first sight'. He'd told himself not to get involved with another mortal, that the relationships were always too complicated and too short, but he couldn't help it this time. Something about her drew him to her, made him want to be with her.
As they started dating, Duncan entered what he would later look back on as some of the most glorious and wonderful days of his life. Things that he'd seen and done countless times before were new and exciting when he was experiencing them with her. Simply being close to her made him feel vibrant...refreshed...*alive* in ways he never had before.
He had expected that he'd move on after a time and leave her behind before things got dangerous, or before she started asking questions about him, and getting too close to his secret. But as their love grew stronger, he found it harder and harder to entertain the thought of never seeing her again, and so he stayed. It was almost as if he'd been living in darkness, and a brightly shining light had come into his life to give him hope and inspiration and something to keep living for.
But I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark, I will always love you I'll remember you
Finally, he decided that he had to tell her, had to let her make the choice of whether she wanted to be involved with someone who would never get any older while she grew toward old age. He'd fully expected her to be frightened of him, to run away or say that she hated him and never wanted to see him again, but that never happened. Instead, she responded with kindness and understanding, and a realization of how sad and lonely his life must be.
But he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell her everything. He had thought that he was out of the Game, that he wasn't fighting other immortals anymore, but Slan's arrival had proven him wrong. He told her the rest of the story, that he faced the possibility of dying every day, and that he had to constantly battle to keep his head and survive. Still, she didn't care. He had tried to leave her and keep her out of the danger, but she'd followed him and refused to let him go. She had been willing to accept him for who he was, instead of trying to poke and probe and understand what he was.
Summer rain to fallen snow, We knew that it wouldn't last But there's no way to know There's no way to go It's such a stillness in the sky, Quietly we pass Quietly we cry Here I stand Alone with every promise melting through my hands, oh ... whoa ... oh...
While she was alive, life alone seemed a distant, long ago memory. 12 years was only a mere eyeblink for a man who had already lived 400 years, but sharing it with Tessa, it had seemed to go on forever. He'd wished that they could really have an eternity together, but he knew in his heart that could never happen.
He knew that she would keep aging, that her body would become old and sick and weak, while all the while he remained young and healthy, and then eventually she would die, but he didn't care. It did hurt to know that he could do nothing to stop what was happening, but he knew that it was better to treasure what time they did have rather than dwelling on the future.
He had always thought that their time together would be like Connor and his beloved Heather, that they would make the most of the time they had while she was young, and then he would be there for her as she moved into her later years. If the time came when she could no longer care for herself, he would take care of her until the end came. And when it did happen, he would be by her side as she drew her last breaths.
But instead, her life had been cruelly taken from her far too soon by a sensless act of violence. Her final moments had been spent terrified and in pain, and alone. They hadn't even gotten a chance to say goodbye to each other. So much had been left unsaid and undone, and all of it hurt him.
And I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever Tears stung Duncan's eyes, and this time, he didn't try to hold them back. When it had first happened, he'd been too numb, too shocked to cry, and it had taken time for the reality of the whole thing to set in. Then, over the next couple of days, he'd felt the need to keep a brave front while making the arrangements, and going through the funeral. Now that everything had finally been taken care of, he could finally allow himself to express his emotions while he was standing here, alone. He allowed the tears to flow, allowed himself to grieve for what was lost, and what had been, and what might have been.
I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark I will always love you I'll remember you Oh, and I remain alone No matter who may try and take your place, whoa, whoa, baby
Silently, he wondered what she would tell him, if she could now. He could almost hear her voice speaking to him. "Try not to be sad for me, Duncan. I know you feel alone, but in a way, you never will be alone. As long as you remember me, I will be with you, and I will always be a part of you. When you think of me, try not to focus on my death, but remember how I lived. I love you, and I always will.
Duncan knew that even though he would go on living, and he would find new love eventually, he would never forget her. Her memory would live on inside of him, and in the ways that his knowing and loving her had changed him for the better. He did feel alone, but remembering that part of her would always be a part of him made him feel better, if only a tiny bit.
In times past, he had retreated from life and the Game for a while after losing someone, to grieve and to mourn the end of another chapter in his life, but this time, he knew he could not. He had Richie to deal with. He had to help the young one deal with his grief, and to begin his training in the ways of immortality and the Game. In a sense, it helped a bit to know that he wasn't truly grieving alone this time. Somehow, the two would help each other through the pain. And I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark, I will always love you
Duncan would move on, would keep on living because he had to. Although some of the pain would always remain, and his heart would always ache for her, time would begin to heal him, and even though it didn't seem like it now, some of the hurt would ease, and living would slowly get easier. But, even if he lived another 10,000 years, he would never forget this beautiful, wonderful woman who had so touched his life, and made it so special, even if only for a few brief moments in the spectrum of his existence. As long as he lived, as long as he remembered her, she would live on.
I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark,
I will always love you
Blinking back the tears, he began to speak in a soft whisper. "I will remember. I'll miss you, but no matter how long I live, I'll not forget you, my love. No matter what happens, no matter where I go, or how many others I find...I will always love you. Even though our time together was short, you gave me so much more, and made much more of an impact in my life than I ever thought possible. You will always be in my heart. Thank you so much...for everything."
He stood silently for a moment, and then whispered one last, heartfelt message
"Goodbye, my bonny Tessa."
And with that, Duncan MacLeod slowly turned to leave, to face the daunting task of beginning again, of starting over without his beloved Tessa as one glorious yet painful chapter of his life ended, and a new, unknown one began. I'll remember you, I'll remember you, yeah I'll remember you ... "
"I need to talk with you again,
Why did you go away?
All our time together
Just feels like distant day
And never thought I'd see
A single day without you
That things we take for granted
We can sometimes do
And if I promise not to feel this pain
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?
Because time will pass me by
Maybe I'll never learn to smile
But I know I'll make it through
If you wait for me
And all the tears I cry, no matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?
Do you remember how it was,
When we never seem to care?
The days went by so quickly
Because I thought you'd always been there
And it's hard to let you go
Although I know that I must try
I feel like I've been cheated
Because we never said goodbye
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?
Because time will pass me by
Maybe I'll never learn to smile
But I know I'll make it through
Won't you wait for me?
And all the tears I cried no matter how I tried
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?
Yeah ... oh ... yeah ... yeah ... yeah ...
Because I miss you so
And I need to know, will you wait for me?
No ... no ... no ... if you wait for me
Say you'll wait for me, all the tears I cry
How I try
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me?
And time will pass me by
Maybe I'll never learn to smile
But I know I'll make it through
If you wait for me."
BELLE: "We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you."
HIM: "No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start."
BOTH: "Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you."
BELLE: "We were strangers
On a crazy adventure."
HIM: "Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true."
BOTH: "Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you.
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.
I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart.
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on...."
BELLE: "Starting out on a journey."
BOTH: "Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning
with you."
I had this fic all done once, but when I tried to mail it to my inbox for safekeeping, it got lost in the process and had to be rewritten. This isn't the original song I'd picked, but I like it much better for this fic. There'll probably be some companion stories to it in the future-had a Richie/Mac talk going on in here, but I decided that all needed its own fic. Might want to keep the hankies handy for this one. Song is "I'll Remember You," Atlantic Star.
I'll Remember You
"Words have left us all alone And death has come between us To turn the fire cold
A lone figure stood solemnly, silently in the midst of a Paris cemetery, at the foot of a large slab of stone that marked the place of a crypt. The only identifier was a small, simple plaque on top of the stone that read
Tessa Noel 1964-1993
For Duncan Macleod, this still didn't seem possible. Everything still seemed as if it would reveal itself any moment to be nothing more than a bad dream he could wake up from. And he still woke up each morning expecting her to be there, curled up next to him just as she had been every morning for slightly more than a decade. And then he would open his eyes to see that he was alone yet again. Thoughts that chase you in the night Silently they stole, The light from in your eyes
He had known all long that, sooner or later, this day would come, but not now, not like this. She was so young, vibrant, so fully of life...and now she was gone. And it was all so senseless, so needless. Over the years, both he and Tessa had allowed themselves to believe that whatever happened, he would be able to protect her. What he had received now was a cold, harsh wake up call that he hadn't ever really been able to protect her at all. She was his beacon, his reason to keep on fighting...and now that light had been brutally snuffed out.
She was mortal; a fragile creature fully susceptible to whatever life chose to throw at her. But, she was a strong, confident person who refused to be pushed around and who didn't hesitate to make her feelings known. She knew when she woke up each morning that neither of them ever knew if they would even live through the day any more than normal people did, but it didn't matter to her. She willingly chose to be a part of his life, even though it was a dangerous, uncertain, always changing world that he was a part of. And I remain alone No matter who may try and take your place, oh, no
Duncan thought back to the conversation they'd had about a year ago, about what happened to an immortal in a time like this. Time and again, he'd been through this, over and over he'd lost loved ones and friends, but that didn't make it get any easier. He felt now exactly the way he'd described to her: Naked...alone...empty...vulnerable. He'd felt many times the feeling of a part of himself dying with a loved one, but it had never felt like this before. She was unlike anyone he'd ever known before, the one he would've chosen to spend forever with if it were possible, and losing her made him feel as though a part of his soul had died with her.
They hadn't been married legally, but he had often felt that, in a way, they were married, because they were so closely bonded to each other. Marriage of the soul...two spirits so deeply intertwined with each other that they could never be separated. They felt each other's pain, shared each other's emotions...almost as though the two had become one. And I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever The Scot thought back to when he'd met her that day in Paris on the boat. There had been an instant connection between them, a real 'love at first sight'. He'd told himself not to get involved with another mortal, that the relationships were always too complicated and too short, but he couldn't help it this time. Something about her drew him to her, made him want to be with her.
As they started dating, Duncan entered what he would later look back on as some of the most glorious and wonderful days of his life. Things that he'd seen and done countless times before were new and exciting when he was experiencing them with her. Simply being close to her made him feel vibrant...refreshed...*alive* in ways he never had before.
He had expected that he'd move on after a time and leave her behind before things got dangerous, or before she started asking questions about him, and getting too close to his secret. But as their love grew stronger, he found it harder and harder to entertain the thought of never seeing her again, and so he stayed. It was almost as if he'd been living in darkness, and a brightly shining light had come into his life to give him hope and inspiration and something to keep living for.
But I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark, I will always love you I'll remember you
Finally, he decided that he had to tell her, had to let her make the choice of whether she wanted to be involved with someone who would never get any older while she grew toward old age. He'd fully expected her to be frightened of him, to run away or say that she hated him and never wanted to see him again, but that never happened. Instead, she responded with kindness and understanding, and a realization of how sad and lonely his life must be.
But he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell her everything. He had thought that he was out of the Game, that he wasn't fighting other immortals anymore, but Slan's arrival had proven him wrong. He told her the rest of the story, that he faced the possibility of dying every day, and that he had to constantly battle to keep his head and survive. Still, she didn't care. He had tried to leave her and keep her out of the danger, but she'd followed him and refused to let him go. She had been willing to accept him for who he was, instead of trying to poke and probe and understand what he was.
Summer rain to fallen snow, We knew that it wouldn't last But there's no way to know There's no way to go It's such a stillness in the sky, Quietly we pass Quietly we cry Here I stand Alone with every promise melting through my hands, oh ... whoa ... oh...
While she was alive, life alone seemed a distant, long ago memory. 12 years was only a mere eyeblink for a man who had already lived 400 years, but sharing it with Tessa, it had seemed to go on forever. He'd wished that they could really have an eternity together, but he knew in his heart that could never happen.
He knew that she would keep aging, that her body would become old and sick and weak, while all the while he remained young and healthy, and then eventually she would die, but he didn't care. It did hurt to know that he could do nothing to stop what was happening, but he knew that it was better to treasure what time they did have rather than dwelling on the future.
He had always thought that their time together would be like Connor and his beloved Heather, that they would make the most of the time they had while she was young, and then he would be there for her as she moved into her later years. If the time came when she could no longer care for herself, he would take care of her until the end came. And when it did happen, he would be by her side as she drew her last breaths.
But instead, her life had been cruelly taken from her far too soon by a sensless act of violence. Her final moments had been spent terrified and in pain, and alone. They hadn't even gotten a chance to say goodbye to each other. So much had been left unsaid and undone, and all of it hurt him.
And I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever Tears stung Duncan's eyes, and this time, he didn't try to hold them back. When it had first happened, he'd been too numb, too shocked to cry, and it had taken time for the reality of the whole thing to set in. Then, over the next couple of days, he'd felt the need to keep a brave front while making the arrangements, and going through the funeral. Now that everything had finally been taken care of, he could finally allow himself to express his emotions while he was standing here, alone. He allowed the tears to flow, allowed himself to grieve for what was lost, and what had been, and what might have been.
I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark I will always love you I'll remember you Oh, and I remain alone No matter who may try and take your place, whoa, whoa, baby
Silently, he wondered what she would tell him, if she could now. He could almost hear her voice speaking to him. "Try not to be sad for me, Duncan. I know you feel alone, but in a way, you never will be alone. As long as you remember me, I will be with you, and I will always be a part of you. When you think of me, try not to focus on my death, but remember how I lived. I love you, and I always will.
Duncan knew that even though he would go on living, and he would find new love eventually, he would never forget her. Her memory would live on inside of him, and in the ways that his knowing and loving her had changed him for the better. He did feel alone, but remembering that part of her would always be a part of him made him feel better, if only a tiny bit.
In times past, he had retreated from life and the Game for a while after losing someone, to grieve and to mourn the end of another chapter in his life, but this time, he knew he could not. He had Richie to deal with. He had to help the young one deal with his grief, and to begin his training in the ways of immortality and the Game. In a sense, it helped a bit to know that he wasn't truly grieving alone this time. Somehow, the two would help each other through the pain. And I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark, I will always love you
Duncan would move on, would keep on living because he had to. Although some of the pain would always remain, and his heart would always ache for her, time would begin to heal him, and even though it didn't seem like it now, some of the hurt would ease, and living would slowly get easier. But, even if he lived another 10,000 years, he would never forget this beautiful, wonderful woman who had so touched his life, and made it so special, even if only for a few brief moments in the spectrum of his existence. As long as he lived, as long as he remembered her, she would live on.
I'll remember you The dreams we could have dreamed The tears I should have seen, We used to say forever I'll remember you, Your pure and simple heart When shadows bring dark,
I will always love you
Blinking back the tears, he began to speak in a soft whisper. "I will remember. I'll miss you, but no matter how long I live, I'll not forget you, my love. No matter what happens, no matter where I go, or how many others I find...I will always love you. Even though our time together was short, you gave me so much more, and made much more of an impact in my life than I ever thought possible. You will always be in my heart. Thank you so much...for everything."
He stood silently for a moment, and then whispered one last, heartfelt message
"Goodbye, my bonny Tessa."
And with that, Duncan MacLeod slowly turned to leave, to face the daunting task of beginning again, of starting over without his beloved Tessa as one glorious yet painful chapter of his life ended, and a new, unknown one began. I'll remember you, I'll remember you, yeah I'll remember you ... "
"I need to talk with you again,
Why did you go away?
All our time together
Just feels like distant day
And never thought I'd see
A single day without you
That things we take for granted
We can sometimes do
And if I promise not to feel this pain
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?
Because time will pass me by
Maybe I'll never learn to smile
But I know I'll make it through
If you wait for me
And all the tears I cry, no matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?
Do you remember how it was,
When we never seem to care?
The days went by so quickly
Because I thought you'd always been there
And it's hard to let you go
Although I know that I must try
I feel like I've been cheated
Because we never said goodbye
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?
Because time will pass me by
Maybe I'll never learn to smile
But I know I'll make it through
Won't you wait for me?
And all the tears I cried no matter how I tried
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?
Yeah ... oh ... yeah ... yeah ... yeah ...
Because I miss you so
And I need to know, will you wait for me?
No ... no ... no ... if you wait for me
Say you'll wait for me, all the tears I cry
How I try
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me?
And time will pass me by
Maybe I'll never learn to smile
But I know I'll make it through
If you wait for me."
BELLE: "We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you."
HIM: "No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start."
BOTH: "Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you."
BELLE: "We were strangers
On a crazy adventure."
HIM: "Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true."
BOTH: "Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you.
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.
I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart.
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on...."
BELLE: "Starting out on a journey."
BOTH: "Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning
with you."