I live in Australia. There is a renovation show called 'The Block' which is on TV every year and this is based on the Glasshouse season where they built six apartments in a big glass house. There are five teams of two and each team has their own builder for advice and stuff. It's a really funny show and I'm sure there are similar ones in other countries.

o.O.o

Host 1: Kakashi

Host 2: Rin

Site Manager: Obito

Kohonagakure: Naruto and Naruko (twins)

Builder: Gaara

Iwagakure: Lee and Sakura (married)

Builder: Tenten

Kirigakure: Itachi and Sasuke (brothers)

Builder: Sai

Amegakure: Neji and Hinata (cousins)

Builder: Kiba

Sunagakure: Shikamaru and Temari (married)

Builder: Kankuro

Tanigakure: Choji and Ino (married)

Builder: Shino

Judges: Jiraiya, Orochimaru and Tsunade

o.O.o

Naruto's Block

"Hahaoya! What's the time?" Mai Kudo called from her bedroom.

"It's seven-thirty," her hahaoya shouted back. Mai immediately closed her laptop and raced to the lounge room, jumping on the couch. Her brother Masaashi Kudo was already seated and he flipped through the channels with bored resignation.

"Give me the remote," she demanded. He glared and held it above his head.

"Ask nicely."

"No fair!" Mai tried to tackle him but he was bigger than her and all attempts were doomed to fail. "Give it!"

"Ask nicely!"

Their hahaoya stuck her head out of the hallway. "Masaashi! Mai! Quiet down! Your chichi is working." She retreated and the siblings immediately continued their tussle for the remote, albeit quieter.

"The Block is on now!" Mai whined. "I need to watch it!"

Masaashi rolled his eyes. "There's nothing on anyway." He tossed her the remote and she caught it triumphantly, flicking the television to the appropriate channel.

This program is rated PG. Channel Seven recommends parental guidance for young viewers.

Mai bounced excitedly. "I can't wait!" she giggled.

Camera lowers dramatically in front of a large glass building and moves inside. Upbeat music plays in the background.

Kakashi(V.O.): This is The Block, where six teams from Japan's six biggest cities have come to Tokyo to battle it out in the ultimate renovation competition for a chance to win over a million yen.

Camera moves among a busy worksite.

Kakashi(V.O.): For the last four weeks our teams have been working on building an entire apartment. In week one, we saw stunning guest bedrooms.

Flashback to images of six finished guest bedrooms, one without a wardrobe.

"Poor Hinata," Mai sighed, "it's not her fault the wardrobe didn't arrive on time."

Kakashi(V.O.): In week two, we saw some designer main bathrooms.

Flashback to images of six finished main bathrooms and begin a clip of the three judges admiring one with pristine black tiles and copper taps.

Orochimaru: This is an inspired bathroom. The glossiness of the black tiles is perfectly complimented by the copper.

Jiraiya: Eh, I think the room needs a bit of an earthy feel, maybe a plant in that corner would liven it up a bit.

Tsunade: I agree with Jiraiya. It's a lovely bathroom, but I feel like it's missing something.

Orochimaru: All in all, I think we should give them an eight.

Jiraiya: An eight sounds fair.

Kakashi(V.O.): In week three, we saw inspired lounge and dining zones.

Flashback to images of six finished lounge and study zones, zooming in on a particularly colourful piece of artwork.

"Sakura really did a good job picking that out," Mai commented.

Kakashi(V.O.): In week four, we saw excellent master bedrooms.

Flashback to images of six finished master bedrooms, show clip of two contestants hugging gleefully.

Ino: We did good baby.

Choji: I can't believe we managed to do that in a week with all the delays.

Kakashi(V.O.): Now the teams begin their biggest challenge yet: the kitchen. Coming up on this episode of The Block:

A man with black hair argues with two men – one with blonde hair and one with red.

Blonde: I'm telling you, I put all my wood in a pile right here. You and your brother are the only ones that use the same wood as us so only you could have taken it.

Redhead: Now we don't have enough wood for the walls.

Blonde: And I can't afford to buy more. I'm on a tight budget.

Black-haired Man: (shrugs) Not my problem.

A woman with thick blonde hair beeps her horn at traffic.

Woman: (angry) Move it you losers! I don't have time for this s**t!

A man and woman stand together in a half-finished room.

Man: We've spent half our budget and still have ages to go. We need to save as much money as possible.

Woman: (Bites fingers) But this is the kitchen. What are we going to do?

Camera zooms outside the glass building. A massive logo stamps across the screen.

Kakashi(V.O.) This is The Block.

Mai muted the television as the advertisements began. Ad breaks were always the worst. She looked around as her hahaoya sat down.

"What's this you're watching?" Ume Kudo asked her daughter.

"The Block," Mai replied.

"Oh? What's is about?"

Mai breathed in deeply. "Well, there are six teams from the six biggest cities in Japan: Kohonagakure, Iwagakure, Kirigakure, Amegakure, Sunagakure and Tanigakure. Couples from each city go to Tokyo to complete renovations. This year they're building six different apartments within this big glass building."

"Who are the teams?"

"Well there's the twins from Kohona: Naruto and Naruko. They're the blonde ones and their builder is Gaara (he's really cute). The twins are my favourite. I like the married couple Lee and Sakura because Lee's adorable, but Sakura is a bit annoying at times, and they have the only girl builder on site, Tenten. I don't like Itachi and Sasuke, the brothers, and I think their builder Sai is really weird. The producers make it seem like Sai is gay for Sasuke but they look like brothers!"

"And…?"

"Oh yeah. There's Neji and Hinata – they're cousins – and Hinata is really sweet and lovely but Neji is a total prick so I don't like him, but there's this whole on- and off-screen romance between Hinata and their builder Kiba (who is also really cute). Then there's Shikamaru and Temari, who are married, but she's a loudmouth and he's a lazy git so I don't really like them much but their builder Kankuro is so badass. And… I think… yeah, it's a married couple Choji and Ino, they're absolutely adorable together because he's such a sweetie. Their builder is Shino but he's weird and I don't like him."

"Who's from where?"

"Um… the twins are from Kohona, Sakura and Lee are from Iwa, the brothers are from Kiri, the cousins from Ame, Shikamaru and Temari from Suna and Choji and Ino from Tani."

Ume looked at the screen thoughtfully. "Who do you think will win?"

"Honestly? With the scores right now I'm thinking Choji and Ino. Then again, the winner is the person who gets the most money from selling their apartment at the end." Mai unmuted the television as the ads ended. "It's back on."

Camera zooms in on the twins, Naruto and Naruko. They are standing in the middle of their empty kitchen.

Naruto: (to Naruko) You got any ideas?

Naruko: We should keep to our theme of wood and organic. We had wooden bedheads and wooden shelves in the bedrooms, so I'm thinking we should have wooden drawers and benchtops.

Naruto: Nice, it'll help the kitchen flow well with the rest of the apartment.

Naruko: I'm thinking a nice big island to give it a luxurious feel.

Naruto: (walking to the edge of the kitchen) Let's get measuring.

Kakashi(V.O.): While team Kohona makes a start on their design, team Ame discuss their budget.

Camera zooms in on Neji and Hinata sitting in their finished dining room with a budget book spread out on the table.

Neji: We've spent half our budget and still have ages to go. We need to save as much money as possible.

Hinata: (Bites fingers) But this is the kitchen. What are we going to do?

Neji: We're going to have to prioritise. Look, thirty-thousand yen has gone to hired help. If we could learn some building tricks we could save money by doing a lot of the work ourselves.

Hinata: I'll go talk to Kiba. (Blushes) I'm sure he'll be happy to give us tips.

Neji: (oblivious) Okay. I'll calculate just how much we can save if we learn the trade ourselves and don't hire people.

Hinata walks to the kitchen where Kiba is canvassing the area.

Hinata: Kiba? Neji and I were wondering if you could teach us some things about building so we don't have to hire so much help.

Kiba: (Sets down tools) Sure thing. Get him here and I'll show you how to make a wall.

Hinata: (blushes) Okay…

Ume barked out laughing. "You can definitely tell she likes this guy. Do you think the producers did it?"

"I think it's real," Mai replied.

"She has a submissive personality."

"Well… Neji does boss her around and she does everything he's said. Last episode she got overwhelmed and Kiba was there to comfort her, but Neji apologised and they shared a lot of feels. He's been gentler with her since."

Camera zooms in on Itachi, Sasuke and Sai moving through a hallway with wood stacked to one side.

Itachi: Here it is. I told you we'd have enough wood for the walls.

Sasuke: I did the calculations and there is plenty for the skeleton of our kitchen.

Itachi: (Bends down and puts his hand under a plank of wood) Come on brother, give me a hand. We need to get this to our kitchen.

Kakashi(V.O.): Uh oh, I sense trouble brewing.

Mai chuckled. "I'll bet that that was Naruto's wood."

Ume leant forward and rested her elbows on her knees. "How are these incredibly handsome young men doing?"

"Well they specialise in black glossy tiles and darker, more neutral tones. The judges didn't like their master bedroom but the bathroom completely wowed them so it's a bit mixed. I kinda hope they don't win because they're dic-"

"Mai! Watch your language."

"… Sorry hahaoya."

Kakashi(V.O.): It seems like there's trouble in paradise for our team from Iwa.

Camera zooms in on Shikamaru and Temari in the middle of an argument.

Temari: (angry) I'm telling you, there will be room for a sizeable island in the middle.

Shikamaru: (calm) No there isn't. There needs to be room for people to move in the kitchen without hindrance.

Kakashi(V.O.): Shikamaru's design has the fridge, stove and other appliances lining the wall and a gap between those and a breakfast bar.

A rough design of what the kitchen looks like appears on screen.

Kakashi(V.O.): Temari proposes to have the counter wrap around the kitchen, getting rid of the breakfast bar, and having an island between both sets of counters.

The design changes so the counters make a U shape with an island between both sets.

Kakashi(V.O.): Shikamaru thinks that Temari's design doesn't leave enough room to comfortably manoeuvre in the kitchen. Temari doesn't seem to think that's an issue.

Return to Shikamaru and Temari.

Shikamaru: I'm the one that always thinks ahead. There won't be enough room.

Temari: (glares) Whatever, I'm going shopping. I'll give the shop my design and you'll see that it'll work.

Shikamaru: No it won't.

Temari: (grabs her purse) It will.

"That Temari is a bit nasty," Ume commented.

"She's just… stubborn."

Camera changes to Lee and Sakura. Lee is taking measurements while Sakura writes them down.

Lee: One-twenty.

Sakura: So we have enough room for an island counter?

Lee: Yes, we do. (Stands and kisses Sakura) You should take our measurements to the shop and order our furniture and equipment as quickly as possible.

Sakura: I can look at lights and walls while I'm there. (Kisses Lee) I'll be back soon babe. Love you.

Kakashi(V.O.): While Sakura heads to the shops, Ino has the same idea.

Camera zooms in on Ino walking into a kitchenware shop with her hair a mess and paint all over her clothes. She strolls along the aisles to pick the furniture she likes.

Ino: (murmurs) I like the white fridge. Yeah, and marble benchtops would really make a statement. We should definitely be able to afford it.

Ino is now looking at stoves.

Ino: It looks like the one we wanted is too big. (Takes out her phone and dials a number). Choji?

Choji(Loudspeaker): Yeah babe?

Ino: The stove we were thinking about is too big by about ten centimetres. If we want it to fit we'll have to compromise bench space.

Choji(Loudspeaker): Ten centimetres shouldn't make much of a difference. I'll just move the tape over.

Ino: What're you doing right now?

Choji(Loudspeaker): I'm cutting the wood for the walls. When I've got the wood up I'll put up boards and measure out the sideboards.

Ino: Okay. I'll do the kitchen order now then go and look at lights and other appliances.

Choji(Loudspeaker): Sure thing babe, I'll see you when you get back.

Ino hangs up and goes to the back desk to make an order for her kitchen. Already at the back of the store, Sakura is making her kitchen order.

Sakura: (points) I need a gap just above the stove for a range hood.

Clerk clicks his keyboard and the digital image of her kitchen changes.

Clerk: Have you thought about what kind of range hood you'd like?

Sakura: Yes, the Arietta Dekor Glass.

Clerk clicks a few more buttons and the finished design is now digitally replicated.

Clerk: Are you satisfied with your kitchen?

Sakura: (thoughtfully) Yes, how soon can you have it delivered by?

Clerk: Average delivery time is five days to get everything assembled and onto the truck.

Sakura: That'll give us plenty of time, thank you.

Kakashi(V.O.): While Sakura and Ino work productively, let's see what Temari's gotten up to.

Temari is sitting in the driver's seat while stuck in a traffic jam. She honks the horn.

Temari: (angry) Move it you losers! I don't have time for this s**t!

Kakashi(V.O.): Woah Temari, calm down. I'm sure the traffic will get moving soon.

While Temari is caught in traffic, Ino and Sakura arrive back on site at the same time. Time speeds up as they move through the worksite (dramatic music playing) and slows when it reaches Shikamaru's apartment.

Kakashi(V.O.): It seems that site manager Obito has a few words to say about the little dispute Shikamaru had with his wife earlier on.

Obito: (to Shikamaru) Honestly, what was she thinking? One-hundred centimetres is not enough to move through – you'd get squashed.

Shikamaru: (exasperated) Temari won't listen to me. She still doesn't understand the whole measurement thing.

The Suna couple's builder joins them.

Kankuro: Yeah man, she goes crazy when Shikamaru tries to tell her to do something his way.

Obito: (rolls eyes) You need to convince her, otherwise your design will fail.

Camera pans to the apartment next door, where Naruto is nosing around the wood piles. He frowns and beckons Gaara who is nearby.

Naruto: I swear I had some Utility grade wood lying around.

Gaara: (walks over) It was just there, I swear. No one else ordered Utility grade so no one else would need it.

Naruto: Wait. (Bends down to a single plank of Utility wood) This has an orange sticker, it belongs to us, but where are the rest of them?

Gaara finds a few more planks of Utility wood, all without stickers.

Gaara: Hey, this is Utility wood. It's not ours though.

Naruto clicks his fingers.

Naruto: The brothers. They used Utility wood for their first room! I bet it was them!

Kakashi(V.O.): Naruto and Gaara confront Sasuke about the missing wood.

Naruto and Gaara approach Sasuke who is cutting sideboards from fine wood.

Naruto: Hey Sasuke, I need to talk to you.

Sasuke: (irritably) What?

Naruto: I put my wood in a pile outside and you took it for your kitchen.

Sasuke raises his eyebrows.

Sasuke: Oh? And how did you reach this conclusion?

Naruto: Me and my sister use Utility grade wood with orange stickers on it. You used the same kind of wood for your first room. Now you're using it for your kitchen and took the wood from our leftovers, which we now need for our kitchen.

Sasuke: I don't recall using any wood with orange stickers.

Kakashi(V.O.): Uh oh Sasuke, you shouldn't lie.

Naruto: I'm telling you, I put all my wood in a pile right here. You and your brother are the only ones that use the same wood as us so only you could have taken it.

Gaara: Now we don't have enough wood for the walls.

Naruto: And I can't afford to buy more. I'm on a tight budget.

Sasuke: (shrugs) Not my problem.

"And you can see why the brothers aren't my favourite." Mai pouted and gestured to the screen. Ume pursed her lips.

Itachi approaches the group.

Itachi: Is there a problem?

Gaara: Yeah, you took our wood.

Itachi: (understanding) Oh… that wood. If it's yours then we'll give it back.

Sasuke: (hisses) Itachi!

Itachi: What? If it's not our wood then we shouldn't keep it from them. We have money. Hopefully enough in the budget for some more Utility grade. (Turns to Naruto) The wood is in our kitchen.

Kakashi(V.O.): Phew, seems like the crisis has been averted. Now to see if Shikamaru has managed to change his wife's mind.

Camera changes to where Temari is still stuck in traffic.

Temari: (angry) MOVE IT YOU A**HOLES!

Her cars built-in phone activated as Shikamaru's picture appeared.

Temari: Oh what now. (Answers phone) What do you want?

Shikamaru(Loudspeaker): I want you to ditch your design and go for the breakfast bar. I spoke with the site manager and he agrees – an island won't fit.

Temari: It will fit! I did the math.

Shikamaru(Loudspeaker): Look Temari, I want to save our kitchen and I know an island won't fit. I got a second opinion.

Temari: Shut up.

Shikamaru(Loudspeaker): Do you want a kitchen or not? Do you want a finished apartment? Do you want the money? Sweetie, we need the money.

Temari sighs and rests her head on the steering wheel.

Temari: Okay…

She looks up in surprise as traffic starts moving.

Temari: (now calm) I'm still on the way to the store. I'll put through the order for your design.

Shikamaru lets out a deep breath on the other end of the phone.

Shikamaru(Loudspeaker): I love you.

He hangs up and a slow smile stretches across Temari's face.

Kakashi(V.O.): Aw, love conquers all. We'll be back after the break.

Mai muted the ads and looked sideways at her hahaoya. "So… what do you think so far?"

"It's actually quite interesting. A little hard to follow, though."

"Well, there's not as much conflict as usual, but maybe there'll be more towards the end of the episode."

"What do you think will happen?"

Mai tapped her chin. "Someone will have delivery issues, probably Neji and Hinata because they haven't ordered yet. Shikamaru and Temari will argue but ultimately get the job done. One of them will make a huge mistake, or break something, and it'll turn into this massive thing because whatever happened will cost them. I predict either Lee or Choji will do it because everyone likes them. Ino and Sakura will probably fight again."

"Again?"

"They don't really like each other."

"Oh. Fair enough."

"If we're lucky we might get to see the hosts."

"Explain."

"Oh, well there are two hosts of the show. There's Kakashi who does all the voice-overs and delivers the judge's scores. Then there's Rin who just pops up here and there to see how everyone's going."

"And that site manager person?"

"That's Obito. He's actually really funny! Last episode all the builders got together and pranked him! Gaara and Kankuro completely glittered his office, Kiba, Shino and Sai gift-wrapped all the furniture and Tenten stuck Obito's face on a blow-up doll." She smiled. "Probably the best part of the season so far. Who do you like?"

"I like Choji and Ino. They're so cute together." Ume tilted her head. "Not sure about Lee and Sakura, but I definitely don't like the brothers and Shikamaru and Temari. They're both really annoying."

Mai perked up as The Block logo appeared across the screen again. "And unmute…"

o.O.o

Owari