"Well, have you come to kill me, then?"
Kylo Ren carefully considered his mother, sensing the uncertainty beneath the exterior of bold defiance. They stood facing one another in the deserted corridor of the devastated Resistance base. In truth, it had not been his intention to meet her under such circumstances, but somehow their paths had aligned and led to this confrontation.
General Leia Organa had given the order to evacuate to those Resistance fighters who had survived the initial surprise attacks by the First Order. Knowing that her son was among them, she had chosen to remain behind amid the ruined bulkheads and clouds of smoke. The base was now mostly emptied with no one to disrupt this encounter.
"We have taken what we needed," came Kylo's simple and matter-of-fact response. The mask gave his voice a coldly metallic quality that suited his unemotional selection of words. "Your execution is not an objective, nor do I deem it necessary at this time."
"And murdering your father was necessary, is that what you're saying?" spat Leia, not troubling at all to conceal her disgust. Kylo made no answer to this, and she was frustrated by the absence of any visible reaction to the mention of that tragic event. She then commanded him: "Remove that helmet from your head at once. I want you to look me in the eye as you tell me why you had to kill Han."
Without stopping to think, Kylo Ren found himself moving to obey his mother's wishes. His gloved fingers worked to undo the metal latches of his mask, releasing the pneumatic seal with a serpentine hiss. As he lifted the helmet off, he watched as the stern expression on Leia's features flickered for a brief moment. His own face was pitiless, revealing no hint of remorse for the deed he had committed on Starkiller.
"Han Solo was an enemy to the First Order and had infiltrated our base," he said callously, holding his mask to the side underneath one arm. "He had directly contributed to the destruction of the planet on which we were stationed and murdered many of our men in the process. Beyond that, he was nothing more than a lowly smuggler and a liar. Only a fool would grieve such an insignificant loss."
Leia studied the features of her son as he answered the question that had been posed, noting the tautness and drawn-out unhappiness that could not be hidden even by the stoic expression that was currently fixed upon his face. There were dark circles below his eyes that had not been there before, much like the ones that had appeared beneath her own after months of mourning the death of her husband.
She shook her head with distaste and frustration at the contemptible way Ben – now renamed to Kylo – had spoken of his father, whom he had slain by his own hand. There was no ground to be gained by remaining in this corridor, she knew, seeing the contempt in his otherwise impassive eyes. She accessed a door beside her that led to a small, vacated office. It was sparsely furnished and had been spared from the attacks unlike most of the base.
"We'll have our conversation in here," she told her son in a tone that would permit no argument. For the first time, his hard gaze betrayed a sign of unease that would have gone unnoticed by most – but not by her.
"My priority now is to return to my..." his objection faded into silence at the furious look she gave him.
Kylo Ren found himself following his mother without further question into the small space. This was no longer any matter of the First Order, whose mission had been fulfilled with strategy and precision. It should have been a simple task for him to deny the requests of this much smaller and less powerful woman. He placed his mask upon the desk in the center of the room, and stood pondering his own actions with confusion.
Leia settled herself in the center of a long stretch of bench that ran along the bulkhead, detecting the puzzlement and suspicion within her son. She sensed traces of other emotions that were kept buried, hidden behind an unyielding wall of denial – sentiments that he had forgotten or refused to feel. The flash of embarrassment from him could not be overstated, however, when she indicated for him to lie across her lap.
"You've needed this for a long time," remarked Leia with a firmness that she did not quite feel, yet she would not allow him the benefit of her compassion now.
Kylo opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again upon seeing the fiery temper in her eyes. She had never undergone training in the ways of the Jedi, and there were no tricks nor special powers behind the given command that he could tell; but there was something in that hardened expression and stern voice that made it nearly impossible for him to resist, to disobey. The longer he hesitated, the fiercer her look became.
It was with bitter silence and a face utterly devoid of emotion that he finally approached the bench and lowered himself to lie prostrate across his mother's lap. He had been here before, and the distant memories came rushing back as he reentered this position. Pain was a tool of the dark side which he had utilized it many times, so he assured himself that there was nothing to fear.
Leia pushed aside the long coattails of Kylo Ren's black robes to reveal the leather garments worn underneath. She briefly considered using an implement given his much larger stature and probable immunity to pain from his years of dark side training, but decided against it – she had never had the need to use anything but the flat palm of her hand to discipline her son, and that would not change now. Placing one hand firmly against his lower back, she raised the other and brought it down in a hard slap.
Kylo lay motionless and made not a sound as the punishment began. He had certainly endured far worse than this; the sharp smacks applied now to his backside by his mother were nothing in comparison. Yet they still hurt, that familiar burn which he knew would grow steadily hotter as the spanking wore on. He focused on a random point on the floor as he willed himself not to react to the sting that each swat left behind.
It was a different pain from any combat wound. He had always fought his enemies while standing upright and looming over them, and any injuries sustained were repaid generously in kind. This was no battle; he was merely lying there, not defending himself, accepting what was being given. It was surrender, a concept so long forgotten to the Master of the Knights of Ren that he scarcely recognized it now.
It was not long before the spanking seemed to come to an end, the barrage of hard slaps reaching a sudden halt. Believing that it was over, Kylo let go a breath that he had not even realized he had been holding, and began to rise. But he then felt a hand pushing him back down; he glanced backward questioningly, and was taken aback by the undiminished anger and determination on her features.
"We're not done yet," Leia informed him flatly. "I told you that we're going to have a conversation, and this is how we will have it. You're not going anywhere."
A sarcastic response had readied itself on the tip of his tongue, yet he swallowed it back. He would normally have sniped at her about having no interest nor desire to hold a discussion over such small matters, but being in this compromising position somehow kept him from doing so. Only too aware that the woman still had striking access to his backside, he decided that it was best to cooperate for now.
"What did you wish to speak about?" he asked in a voice that was almost mild but still tinged with defiance, missing much of the open contempt that had filled it before.
"I want you to answer my question, and to tell me the truth this time," said Leia, placing an especial emphasis on her need for honesty from her son, not some manufactured reasoning that belonged among the impersonal reports archived by the First Order. She rested a hand against his back and felt him grow tense at once, but relax again slightly after a moment when nothing happened. He did not want to be here, she knew that well enough, but this was a conversation that both of them needed to have. "What made you do it? Tell me."
"Han Solo was harboring the droid that carried the information we needed. He had also made an alliance with fugitives from-" A sharp slap to his rear end brought the carefully composed speech to an abrupt halt, and Kylo understood now why she had not permitted him to get up. He fell into silent consideration as it became clear that his mother would not accept a list of documented criminal offenses, long though it was, as justification for the slaying of his father.
"Why did you do it, Ben?" pressed Leia as she used his true name for the first time. The firmness was beginning to melt away from her tone, replaced with the sadness and disappointment that had been with her for so many months. She sensed the conflict and reluctance inside of him even as he said nothing. "Be honest with yourself; I will not hear some rhetoric put together for the drones of the First Order. Do you understand me?" She had punctuated each statement with a hard, stinging smack.
"Yes," said Kylo into the bench beneath him, and he felt himself flush with embarrassment at how strained he sounded. He had planned to not allow himself to be affected by something so mundane as a spanking, to not reveal any sign of weakness. Had the punishment been over and done with swiftly, he might have succeeded in maintaining that initial level of composure; but it was being drawn out, extended without a definite end in sight.
"Yes, what?" Leia withheld her hand for a moment as she awaited her son's response.
Both of them were surprised then by the quickness of his reply, the lack of any hesitation. "Yes, Mother."
Leia Organa was stunned by the sincerity in that answer. She sensed none of the cruelty, the calculated spitefulness that had colored his remarks since the beginning of this encounter. That wall of cold defiance was breaking down despite his efforts to keep it there, and she was made hopeful by the progress that had somehow been made in such a short length of time. She could feel him bracing himself as though in expectation of another smack across his back end, but it did not come.
"Give me the real reason, Ben," she attempted once more, her compassion seeping into her commanding words. "No more First Order propaganda, or these lies that you tell yourself until you believe them. Search within your heart and mind if you cannot remember. I am your mother and I deserve the truth; that is all I want from you, here and now. How could you do such a thing? Help me understand."
"I didn't want to do it," confessed Kylo Ren with a tremor in voice and body that could no longer be suppressed, the facade of stoicism falling away entirely. "I kept feeling it – the pull to the light – and I thought I could eradicate the temptation and become stronger in the dark side by killing him. The Supreme Leader promised that it would be so, but..."
He trailed off, shaken by the confrontation of these feelings that had remained submerged and unaddressed in his deeper consciousness for so long. Tears had welled in his eyes but he refused to let them fall.
"But you were wrong," finished Leia quietly to herself. Somehow she had always known the true reason, it had been there since the moment she'd sensed the premature demise of Han, but she had needed to hear it straight from her son, the one who did it. The admission that finally came now brought her some peace and resolution after these months of questions and doubts.
Kylo had been making an effort to regain control and composure of himself when a harsh slap to his backside caused him to jolt in surprise and pain. His mother spanked him now in earnestness, holding back none of her strength as the punishment began anew and with overwhelming force. He was soon gritting his teeth and clenching his fists as he struggled to endure the sting and radiating soreness that only worsened with each hard smack.
The tears that had threatened to fall now did, streaming from the corners of his eyes and dripping off the tip of his nose onto the bench underneath. He wept in silence, feeling a strange sense of release as he grieved and mourned for someone whose life had been wrongfully taken and could never be brought back. The pain of the spanking was now as nothing compared to the terrible guilt and shame he felt for what he had done.
Leia Organa sensed all of these changes as they occurred within her son and it was that which finally stayed her hand. Kylo did not seem to notice right away that the punishment was over, so awash was he in the tide of regret and remorse. In this moment, it made no matter how large and dangerous of a man he had become – this was still her Ben, and she found herself gathering him into her arms without a second thought.
"I'm sorry," murmured Kylo as he returned her affection with an equal lack of reservation, letting himself give in to the unconditional love and comfort of his mother. He hid his troubled face over her shoulder, letting the few remaining tears flow down his cheeks. "Mother, I'm so sorry."
"I know," assured Leia as she rubbed slow circles on his back. She wanted nothing more now than to bring him home and let them become a family once again. It would shatter her heart all over to see him go away from here to rejoin the ranks of the dark side, and yet she could feel in him that impossible conflict between love and power. Maybe one day he would see that the answer was not so hopeless, that there was no need to remain alone.
Slowly mother and son withdrew from the embrace, and she gazed evenly into his red-rimmed eyes as she asked, "What will you do with Luke when you find him?" She knew that his mission to find the map had led him here, and that it was too late now to try to recover it from the hands of the First Order.
Kylo Ren looked away from Leia and did not answer the question immediately. He could feel his jaw tighten at the reminder of what plans they had in store for Skywalker once the location was identified and confirmed. The course would soon be set and it was too late to drop the search for the last Jedi after all the time and concerted efforts devoted to the pursuit.
"I cannot tell you of our intentions," said Kylo as he began to draw away, but she gripped his arm with a firm hold to keep him in place.
"Will we need to have another... talk?" Her eyes flashed dangerously.
"No," he replied a little too quickly, feeling the lingering ache from the conversation they had just had. Her hold loosened slightly and he managed to slip free.
He rose to his full height and strode over to the desk to retrieve his mask. For a long moment he merely held the steel-forged helmet in his hands, feeling the weight of it as heavily as the burden that came with wearing it. He began to raise it upward as though to put it on, when he took pause and did a sidelong glance at Leia, who was watching him with a deep sadness in her eyes.
Without donning the mask, he swept out of the room and was gone.