Abhorsen: Bye Mogget! Bye Disreputable Dog! I'm off to get Groceries!
*Walks out the door*
Mogget and Disreputable Dog: (in unison) *waves paws* BYE!!!
Mogget: Don't forget to buy the little cans of tuna! They're on sale for 4 for a dollar!
Disreputable Dog: And get me a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese too!
Mogget: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? Why that?
Disreputable Dog: I dun no...just because...
Mogget: Don't get her that...Get her...
Disreputable Dog: Get Mogget a new litterbox! Hee hee!
Mogget: HEY! NO! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!
Disreputable Dog: Hee hee! He left like, 5 minutes ago...
Mogget: He's Abhorsen...he can raise the dead and lay them to rest, but he doesn't have very good hearing? AND HE LEFT 4 MINUTES AND 59 SECONDS AGO! HA!
Disreputable Dog: *licks Mogget* WHEE! Now I can watch TV!!! YAY! *Jumps on the couch and flicks on the TV*
Mogget: Ewww! Sticky! YOUR NAME IS TOO LONG! Shorten it!
Disreputable Dog: No it's not! It's a pretty name! At least my name doesn't sound like an icky bug! Eww...Maggots! OH LOOK! SCOOBY DOO IS ON!!!! Scooby Dooby Doo...Where are you? We've got some work to do now...
Mogget: AAAHHHHH!!!! * Crosses out Disreputable Dog and puts D.D. when she's not looking * CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!!
D. D.: HEY! I don't want to be named D. D.! Why is that my name?! Why can't I be...
Maggot: BECAUSEYOURNAMEISTOOLONGTHAT'SWHY!!!! HEY! WHO PUT MAGGOT INSTEAD OF MOGGET?!
D. D.: *giggles* Someone's a cranky kitty today...Hey! I'm still D. D.! Humph! I'm not changing the channel now!
Mogget: *corrects name* Pweez?! I don't wanna watch this! I wanna watch Tom and Jerry!
D. D.: NO! Only if you change it back to The Disreputable Dog!
Mogget: *looks around* I will if you'll take off my collar... *looks smug and hopeful*
D. D.: *looks up into the air thoughtfully as if she might actually take it off* Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...nah!
Mogget: *jumping around trying to pull off collar *DAG NAB IT!
D. D.: I'll buy you a new one though! We'll get you a cheap pink polyester collar!
Mogget: NOOOO!!! You wouldn't...
D. D.: I put it on the grocery list Abhorsen took with him...
Mogget: WHY?! WHY?! WHY must I be condemned to suffer like this?! *sob* Why did it have to be polyester?! Why couldn't it AT LEAST be nylon?!
*Sabriel comes down the stairs*
Sabriel: Whew! I've worked day and night on these for you...
D. D.: OOH! A PRESENT! A PRESENT! What'd you make?!
Sabriel: Since when did you start calling yourself D. D.?
Mogget: Never mind that...you look tired too! So what'd you make for us?! What'd you make for us?! *Bounces around*
D. D.: She made litter boxes, of course! *Chuckle chuckle*
Mogget: She made one for you too then...
D. D.: GAH!!!! NO!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED!!! *faints*
Mogget: *grabs remote* HA HA! I GOT THE REMOTE!!!! *clicks at TV* NOOOO!!!! IT'S A SCOOBY DOO MARATHON!!!!
Sabriel: Erm...okay, well anyways, Here's your presents! I made you each a pair of matching knitted boots, scarves, hats, and sweaters! YOU'LL LOOK SO CUTE IN THEM!
Mogget and D. D.: X_X You were supposed to be learning about being an Abhorsen and you were KNITTING instead?!
Mogget: *pinches D. D.* Pinch poke, you owe me a coke!
D. D.: I'll just give you a litter box instead.
Mogget: I'm sure Sabriel will help me get you a pooper scooper then...
D. D.: *Twitch* *twitch*
*Rain starts to fall from the heavy overcast above* *plop* *plop* *plop* RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! BZZPP!
*Lireal's head peeks over the stair railing*
Lireal: Hey! Sabriel! You should never ring Ranna whenever you're using a hair dryer and standing over a sink! *Smooth black hair is standing up on end and has sparks shooting out of it*
Sabriel: O_O Want a hat for that? *Gets out yarn and knitting needles* I think you'd be a good knitter Lireal! You're good at making Charter Skins!
Lireal: Probably...except it kinda itches...*walks out in a knitted rainbow sweater with an Abhorsen/Clayr key symbol on the front* *hair is still standing up* How do I look?!
Mogget: Oh yes Lireal, you SO look like an Abhorsen in that...yep, that's right...Look at me! I'm Lireal the Abhorsen in my bright happy Rainbow Sweater! Whee! *Hopping around* I can banish and summon the dead and I like lollipops!
D. D.: I kinda like it actually...
Mogget: *glaring at D. D. *
Anonymous Announcer Person: SUDDENLY...there's a huge rumble outside the house. *Rumble* *Rumble* *Rumble*
D. D.: No there wasn't! That was my stomach! I'm hungry...
Mogget: Goodness...make us all think the world was coming to an end why don't ya?!
Anonymous Announcer Person: Wait...you're a character in the story, how would you know any way? You would just...
Sabriel: *rings Ranna* *Announcer falls asleep* Now THAT'S when you can ring Ranna, Lireal!
Announcer: *SNORE!* *SNORE!* *SNORE!*
Mogget: Oh no...and I thought D. D. snored badly...*covers ears*
D. D.: HEY! If you had just eaten a...
Mogget: I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!!! OH SAY CAN YOU SEE...
Lireal: What an awful racket...racket? HEY! A RACKET!!! *Runs upstairs to go get her tennis racket* *whacks announcer with it* WAKE UP!
Announcer: Uh...ZzZzZzZz...
Sabriel: Hmmm...Let me go see if I have anything harder...*walks away*
Lireal: I'll go check to see if I have anything sharper...*wanders off upstairs*
D. D.: Hmmm...I'm hungry! *Bounds away into the Kitchen*
*Announcer person wakes up*
Announcer: Uhhh...where am I?!
Mogget: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FREEDOM IS MINE AT LAST!!! I mean uh...*cough* *cough*
Announcer: Who are you? GAH!!! WHY IS THERE A TALKING WHITE CAT IN FRONT OF ME?!
Mogget: *smirks* I'll tell you if you take off my collar...
Announcer: *looks curiously at Mogget and stretches his arm out to take the collar off Mogget*
*D. D., Lireal, and Sabriel each get this same little feeling that something bad is about to happen and they all stop what they're doing and dash around the corners to stop it*
D. D., Lireal, Sabriel: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*TIME FREEZE!*
Will this be the end?! Will Mogget's fury be set upon the world?! Will Lireal ever find her sharp object?! Will D. D. ever get her snack!? Will Sabriel knit another hat?! Will the Announcer person take off the collar or ever get their job back?! (I hope not because then I get to keep his job! WHEEEEEEE!!! ACK!) *Second announcer person gets pushed pulled off the stage by a giant cane*
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
Mogget and Disreputable Dog: (in unison) *waves paws* BYE!!!
Mogget: Don't forget to buy the little cans of tuna! They're on sale for 4 for a dollar!
Disreputable Dog: And get me a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese too!
Mogget: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? Why that?
Disreputable Dog: I dun no...just because...
Mogget: Don't get her that...Get her...
Disreputable Dog: Get Mogget a new litterbox! Hee hee!
Mogget: HEY! NO! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!
Disreputable Dog: Hee hee! He left like, 5 minutes ago...
Mogget: He's Abhorsen...he can raise the dead and lay them to rest, but he doesn't have very good hearing? AND HE LEFT 4 MINUTES AND 59 SECONDS AGO! HA!
Disreputable Dog: *licks Mogget* WHEE! Now I can watch TV!!! YAY! *Jumps on the couch and flicks on the TV*
Mogget: Ewww! Sticky! YOUR NAME IS TOO LONG! Shorten it!
Disreputable Dog: No it's not! It's a pretty name! At least my name doesn't sound like an icky bug! Eww...Maggots! OH LOOK! SCOOBY DOO IS ON!!!! Scooby Dooby Doo...Where are you? We've got some work to do now...
Mogget: AAAHHHHH!!!! * Crosses out Disreputable Dog and puts D.D. when she's not looking * CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!!
D. D.: HEY! I don't want to be named D. D.! Why is that my name?! Why can't I be...
Maggot: BECAUSEYOURNAMEISTOOLONGTHAT'SWHY!!!! HEY! WHO PUT MAGGOT INSTEAD OF MOGGET?!
D. D.: *giggles* Someone's a cranky kitty today...Hey! I'm still D. D.! Humph! I'm not changing the channel now!
Mogget: *corrects name* Pweez?! I don't wanna watch this! I wanna watch Tom and Jerry!
D. D.: NO! Only if you change it back to The Disreputable Dog!
Mogget: *looks around* I will if you'll take off my collar... *looks smug and hopeful*
D. D.: *looks up into the air thoughtfully as if she might actually take it off* Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...nah!
Mogget: *jumping around trying to pull off collar *DAG NAB IT!
D. D.: I'll buy you a new one though! We'll get you a cheap pink polyester collar!
Mogget: NOOOO!!! You wouldn't...
D. D.: I put it on the grocery list Abhorsen took with him...
Mogget: WHY?! WHY?! WHY must I be condemned to suffer like this?! *sob* Why did it have to be polyester?! Why couldn't it AT LEAST be nylon?!
*Sabriel comes down the stairs*
Sabriel: Whew! I've worked day and night on these for you...
D. D.: OOH! A PRESENT! A PRESENT! What'd you make?!
Sabriel: Since when did you start calling yourself D. D.?
Mogget: Never mind that...you look tired too! So what'd you make for us?! What'd you make for us?! *Bounces around*
D. D.: She made litter boxes, of course! *Chuckle chuckle*
Mogget: She made one for you too then...
D. D.: GAH!!!! NO!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED!!! *faints*
Mogget: *grabs remote* HA HA! I GOT THE REMOTE!!!! *clicks at TV* NOOOO!!!! IT'S A SCOOBY DOO MARATHON!!!!
Sabriel: Erm...okay, well anyways, Here's your presents! I made you each a pair of matching knitted boots, scarves, hats, and sweaters! YOU'LL LOOK SO CUTE IN THEM!
Mogget and D. D.: X_X You were supposed to be learning about being an Abhorsen and you were KNITTING instead?!
Mogget: *pinches D. D.* Pinch poke, you owe me a coke!
D. D.: I'll just give you a litter box instead.
Mogget: I'm sure Sabriel will help me get you a pooper scooper then...
D. D.: *Twitch* *twitch*
*Rain starts to fall from the heavy overcast above* *plop* *plop* *plop* RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! BZZPP!
*Lireal's head peeks over the stair railing*
Lireal: Hey! Sabriel! You should never ring Ranna whenever you're using a hair dryer and standing over a sink! *Smooth black hair is standing up on end and has sparks shooting out of it*
Sabriel: O_O Want a hat for that? *Gets out yarn and knitting needles* I think you'd be a good knitter Lireal! You're good at making Charter Skins!
Lireal: Probably...except it kinda itches...*walks out in a knitted rainbow sweater with an Abhorsen/Clayr key symbol on the front* *hair is still standing up* How do I look?!
Mogget: Oh yes Lireal, you SO look like an Abhorsen in that...yep, that's right...Look at me! I'm Lireal the Abhorsen in my bright happy Rainbow Sweater! Whee! *Hopping around* I can banish and summon the dead and I like lollipops!
D. D.: I kinda like it actually...
Mogget: *glaring at D. D. *
Anonymous Announcer Person: SUDDENLY...there's a huge rumble outside the house. *Rumble* *Rumble* *Rumble*
D. D.: No there wasn't! That was my stomach! I'm hungry...
Mogget: Goodness...make us all think the world was coming to an end why don't ya?!
Anonymous Announcer Person: Wait...you're a character in the story, how would you know any way? You would just...
Sabriel: *rings Ranna* *Announcer falls asleep* Now THAT'S when you can ring Ranna, Lireal!
Announcer: *SNORE!* *SNORE!* *SNORE!*
Mogget: Oh no...and I thought D. D. snored badly...*covers ears*
D. D.: HEY! If you had just eaten a...
Mogget: I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!!! OH SAY CAN YOU SEE...
Lireal: What an awful racket...racket? HEY! A RACKET!!! *Runs upstairs to go get her tennis racket* *whacks announcer with it* WAKE UP!
Announcer: Uh...ZzZzZzZz...
Sabriel: Hmmm...Let me go see if I have anything harder...*walks away*
Lireal: I'll go check to see if I have anything sharper...*wanders off upstairs*
D. D.: Hmmm...I'm hungry! *Bounds away into the Kitchen*
*Announcer person wakes up*
Announcer: Uhhh...where am I?!
Mogget: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FREEDOM IS MINE AT LAST!!! I mean uh...*cough* *cough*
Announcer: Who are you? GAH!!! WHY IS THERE A TALKING WHITE CAT IN FRONT OF ME?!
Mogget: *smirks* I'll tell you if you take off my collar...
Announcer: *looks curiously at Mogget and stretches his arm out to take the collar off Mogget*
*D. D., Lireal, and Sabriel each get this same little feeling that something bad is about to happen and they all stop what they're doing and dash around the corners to stop it*
D. D., Lireal, Sabriel: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*TIME FREEZE!*
Will this be the end?! Will Mogget's fury be set upon the world?! Will Lireal ever find her sharp object?! Will D. D. ever get her snack!? Will Sabriel knit another hat?! Will the Announcer person take off the collar or ever get their job back?! (I hope not because then I get to keep his job! WHEEEEEEE!!! ACK!) *Second announcer person gets pushed pulled off the stage by a giant cane*
TO BE CONTINUED!!!