Belong to Me Tonight, a supernatural fanfic

Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be.
Warnings/Squicks: a little darkish and full of angst- SEE AN2
Summary: Oh gods, I think I wrote song!fic! Inspired by Alien Love Song by Todd Wright

The countdown has begun,
now my time on Earth is done,
and I must be going back to my family
and these plans they have for me.
I know it won't be easy.

Hold your head up high, love.
I'll ask you not to cry, love…

It's only space and time
that separates your world and mine
from perfect love.
It's not an ordinary thing
that any other human being
is worthy of.
So belong to me tonight
and the rest of my whole life.

Count back from ten to one.
Close your eyes I will gone,
on my way back to the world that I know,
I guess it's time to let you go.
But it's not forever.

Hold your head up high, love.
I'll ask you not to cry, love…

And baby they're not so bright and blue
but baby my stars still shine for you.
Everything will be alright
I'll guide you like the satellites
that spin around your world tonight
and I do
I still be long to you

AN1: Set after the big end game scene of 5x22, but before the dreaded 'pala scene. And yes, my Dean early on is taking direct cues from the afore mentioned dreaded 'pala scene.
AN2: You guys remember that little thing I did about a year ago "Let's Make a Deal"? Yeah well, think that kinda dark only without really fixing it… yet… I hope

~~~~~~~~~

"Dean."

"What Cas?" the hunter asked absently, still reeling from everything that had happened over the past two days.

Castiel moved further away from Dean, knowing what he had to tell him would draw an outburst- not completely uncalled for- from his hunter. "I have to go."

Dean's pained green eyes rose to meet Cas', "Where?" he growled tightly.

"Back. Heaven." Cas' shoulders sagged with the weight of his own words. He knew they'd be hard to say, even harder for Dean to hear, and now that he'd said them they hung like all the planets in all of his Father's Creation hung from his shoulders.

"Heaven," his voice grew darker, tighter. "Heaven? After everything, you're just going back?"

"It is my place, Dean. Father calls me back, I must go." Castiel answered softly, his own pain trying to force its way through.

"It's your place, is it?" Dean's voice was a steady growl of anger seething slowly around them.

Dean slammed into the angel, knocking him momentarily off balance and causing them both to fall to the floor. Cas took the hit, was ready to take as many more as Dean needed to throw at him, his body made pliable and human by an act of his will, understanding he deserved whatever Dean did to him.

Dean's fist collided with Cas' chin making his head snap sharply to the side. His eyes widened for the briefest of moments at being able to hurt the angel before his anger surged again. Dean had almost nothing left, and now Cas was leaving him and he couldn't bear it. He straddled the angel, pinning him to the floor. Crystal blue eyes watched him as he moved, pulling his arm back for another blow.

"Ag, emna," he whispered answering Dean's question. Cas wanted this, wanted Dean's anger, wanted to be beaten down, wanted Dean to take everything from him. It was the only gift he could leave.

Dean's fist faltered as something changed. He rocked back on his heels, pressing his hips gently downwards, finding them met by a throbbing length. When he saw the offer Cas was unknowingly making he grabbed it. He'd wanted Cas for so long and he would take that before the bastard left.
He lunged forward, this time crushing his mouth to Castiel's. He could taste tiny traces of blood as his flesh gave way to the force of the contact. It made it real.

Castiel stayed still, as still as he could with Dean manhandling him, welcoming the fierce onslaught.

Dean fumbled with the belt and fastenings of Castiel's slacks finally opening them far enough to work his cock free. With a snarl he tore at his own clothes, seams ripping and buttons popping until he was naked hovering above Cas' fully clothed body. His hand worked the angel's flesh earning gasps and unseemly moans to pass those perfectly chapped lips. Dean barely spared a moment to ready himself, wanting the burn of to last, painfully, as long as possible. Before Cas could even consider what his hunter was doing, Dean rose up positioning Cas' flesh beneath him and slamming down hard. His voice cracking along the deep cuts of his scream. This was what he wanted, what he deserved.

Beneath him, Cas joined Dean's scream, his more air and ear splitting waves of inaudible sound. His only thought being of Dean, that Dean was in pain and he was causing it, that Dean wanted it even though he deserved so much more, that he wanted to make it better.

Hesitantly and far too soon, Dean rocked his hips, swallowing another pained scream. It burned, just like he needed it to. The burn was good, real.

Castiel's eyes squeezed shut as Dean rode him, keening cries of pain dripping from Dean's lips. After Dean's seventh forceful thrust onto Cas' shaft the angel couldn't take it. His hands gripped Dean's hips effectively halting his movement. "No," he breathed, as much air as sound.

Fire burned hot and angry in Dean's eyes, the shards of emerald in them shimmering like lapping flames, but Cas wouldn't be deterred. His hands rose slowly over Dean's skin, the sheen of sweat breaking as his hands moved upward. The angel's hands ran over ribs that he'd repaired more than once, that still had his wards engraved on them and would forever. They roamed over Dean's chest, pressing softly against the thundering beat of his heart, up to his broad shoulders, pulling him down slowly for a too tender kiss.

Dean wanted to fight it; Cas' touch was maddening in its tenderness. This wasn't what he wanted, it couldn't be- Cas was leaving, he had no right to make him feel, give him what he wanted.
"Cas," he whimpered into the angel's mouth. "Please, don't," he begged.

The angel didn't answer, merely continued his soft ministrations over Dean's mouth and body.

Dean flinched when he felt Cas' clothes disappear, letting their bodies touch skin to burning skin. The touch too close, too intimate. He sobbed into Cas' wet, warm mouth. He didn't bother speaking; he knew Cas' wouldn't listen to him. The angel knew him too well to let words stop him.

Cas held Dean to him, one arm wrapped around his waist while his hand held Dean's neck with gentle, determined pressure. Gently rolling his hips into Dean, Castiel pressed into him filling him with the warmth that Dean had tried to ignore and cover up with pain, attempting to mask this as a vulgar act instead of a beautiful one. His movements were tender and paced, he wanted to erase every trace of the pain Dean had inflicted on himself before either of them found release.

Unwillingly, Dean's arms wrapped around his angel, letting himself be cradled in Cas' embrace as he sobbed slow, silent cries against Castiel's skin. Eventually, his sobs ebbed; giving way to hiccups and small shudders that corresponded with the angel's thrusts.

Cas' hand slid from Dean's neck, along his shoulder to the edge of the scar he'd marked Dean with. "I'll always be yours," he murmured into Dean's ear as he aligned his hand with the handprint.

Dean's body went ridged; power thrumming through his body from the mark on his shoulder inwards, like a shot of pure electricity, and he was cumming. Face buried in Cas' neck, spurting shaft trapped between them, and Castiel's name a final sob from his lips.

'Dean, Dean, Dean,' the man's name repeated in Castiel's head, a slow mantra of need and sorrow, as he came hard and deep inside his beloved hunter. Cas continued to rock with Dean until the currents passing through them receded and Dean's breathing slowed in sleep. He kissed Dean's cheek tenderly and thought them into the bed- Dean didn't need to be sleeping on the floor, especially considering the morning he had coming. Cas knew he had to leave; he had no choice in the matter. He could only hope that Dean would understand- he needed him to understand.
Still, he stayed by Dean's side all through the night, holding him close, safe, and whispering promises he could only hope one day to keep as Dean slept peacefully in his arms.

In the morning, Dean awoke alone and cold, the echoes of Castiel's warm, rasping, "I love you, Dean," ringing in his ears.

Translation:

'Ag, emna' simply means 'No, here.'