2003 MTV Movie Awards
Matrix Reloaded Parody
Yes. Most of you may not have been able to see this, if you didn't catch the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. I know I didn't catch it. Or if you don't have a DVD player. So, here's the opening skit from the 2003 Movie Awards, staring Justin Timberlake and Seann William-Scott.
Since this is a skit, I don't own this! It is in no way, shape, or form original.
- Seann William-Scott, Justin Timberlake, and two random women turn the corner in a hallway.
Justin: Yeah, but I knew it was Ashton the whole time.
Seann: Right. *stops in front of apartment door, and gets key out* Ladies, In a few seconds, we'll be sippin' on some Cris, and watching the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. *tries to put key in lock, but the key isn't going in*
Justin: *whispers* Quit playing around, Seann.
Seann: I'm not, dude, my key won't fit!
Voice from behind the two: You must be the Ones!
Justin: *turns, as does Seann* Oh cool, it's the super.
Voice: Actually, I'm the keymaker. *takes string of keys off neck, goes to unlock the door* Don't worry, you'll be inside in just a moment. *door opens*
Seann: *looks at Keymaker* Awesome, thanks! *turns back to door, which is glowing red*
Justin and Seann: *disappear into the red light, door stops glowing*
Girls: *look surprised and scared*
Keymaker: *blows air over key as if it is a gun, looks at girls* What's happening, hot stuffs?
- Scene changes to the cave in Zion, where everyone is dancing, if one would even call it dancing... That really wet guy throws his head back, all the water... or sweat flying off of him.
Seann and Justin: *get drenched in wetness, grimace*
Seann: Ew! Dude!
Justin: Where the hell are we?
Partying Guy: You're in Zion, baby! *dances*
Seann: What is this place?
Guy: Duh! It's obviously an underground city where the last remaining humans live, and the robots are coming to kill us. Doesn't that just make you wanna party? Yeah! *dances*
Justin: Dude, let's get out of here...
Seann: I don't know man, these girls are pretty hot! *scene shows girls dancing* Check it out, you can totally see their nipples! *shows girls with see-through shirts dancing*
Guy: Oh my God, there's Morpheus! *shows Morpheus walking to the edge of the higher cliff* Woo! I love you Morpheus! *people cheer*
Morpheus: Zion! Hear me!
Guy: He's having a huge orgy at his place later tonight. At least, that's what many of us have heard.
Morpheus: It is true, what many of you have heard. *people cheer*
Guy: Yes! Morpheus! *scene shows Morpheus turning his head* What can we expect at this orgy?
Morpheus: Machines! *crowd goes quiet*
Justin: Man, I'm out. *turns to walk away*
Seann: Sounds kinda kinky! *ear is grabbed by Justin, and Seann is pulled away* Ow, ow, ow!
Guy: Uh, okay, I'll see you guys there! *pause* And bring plenty of lube!
- Scene changes to a white hallway with a lot of doors.
Seann and Justin: *step out of a door, Justin is wearing a baggy black trench coat, and Seann is wearing a tight shiny black trench coat*
Justin: *looks at Seann's trench coat, and snorts, holding a laugh*
Seann: *looks at coat, then looks at Justin, angry* What?!
Justin: *stops short* Nothing. *both look down hallway, which is endless*
Seann: *starts walking alongside Justin* Great, an infinite hallway of doors. *starts walking like he has to pee*
Justin: One of these has to lead back to your apartment.
Seann: You know what? You try that one. *points to door* I need to use this one. *points to door on opposite side, which is men's room, and walks in*
Justin: *opens door Seann told him to, showing Neo talking with the Oracle*
Neo: I see Trinity, and something happens, something bad. She starts to fall... And then I wake up.
Oracle: Now dat's fucked up!
Justin: *sits down beside Oracle on bench* I'm so sorry to interrupt you guys, but I'm really lost.
Oracle: Wait a minute, you dat boy from N*Sync, what happened to your Jerry curls, man? Dat was a good look. Now dat was hot! *turns to Neo* You know dem boys, right?
Neo: I've never heard of them.
Oracle: You never heard of N*Sync?
Neo: No.
Oracle: Dos' boys can dance! *turns back to Justin* Come on man, show him your moves.
Justin: Do I have to?
Oracle: I'm da Oracle, damnit.
Justin: *does the robot*
Neo: If I had to guess, I'd say you were a program from the machine world.
Justin: Nah man, I'm just doin' the robot! Here, you should try it... *gets up and does the robot the classic way*
Oracle: Yeah! Work it! Come on Neo, get in there, man. Do the robot.
Neo: Why?
Oracle: Come on man, you da One. You're the One, you can do it all! *makes sad attempt at the robot*
Neo: No.
Oracle: Come on, man. Domo Arigatou Mr. Roboto.
Justin: *still doing the robot* You can do the robot with JT!
Neo: What if I can't... What happens if I fail?
Justin: *stops dancing, as does Oracle* Okay, dude. Lighten up, for real. It's just the robot.
Neo: No. I can't do that, I won't.
Oracle: Well, hell, I will! *walks towards Justin, sings* Talk to me, boy! Don't be scared! *gets up against Justin, dancing*
Justin: *disgusted* Oh God...
Oracle: *pushes against him* Come on do the party. Do the naked party.
Agent: *starts walking towards the three, turns out to be Seann* Mr. Timberlake...
Justin: Mr. William Scott...
Oracle: Hey, you're dat guy who got peed on in American Pie.
Seann: *jams hand into Oracle's stomach, that dark stuff coming from where his hand is*
Oracle: *dark stuff is starting to cover her body* Ooh, you're hittin' the spot! How big is your fist? Good Lord! Hey! Wait a minute man, this shit is dry clean only!
Agent Seann: You'll like being a dude!
Oracle: *changes into another Agent Seann* I do.
Agent Seanns: *start to come from everywhere*
Justin: *looking around at all Agent Seanns* That is a shit load of Stiflers!
Agent Seanns: *crack necks*
Justin: *puts on sunglasses, puts hand out and does Morpheus's hand motion thing. 'Dance With Me' music starts and Justin dances*
Agent Seanns: *run up to Justin*
Justin: *blocks punch from one Seann, and elbows him. Blocks another Seann and flips him over. Adjusts trench coat, punches another Seann, kicks another.*
Agent Seanns: *come from doors around everywhere*
Justin: *elbows two Seanns in the face, music stops. Jumps up, and kicks a Seann, causing that Seann to turn around and slap another Seann*
Agent Seann: *grabs Seann that hit him and starts to punch him in the face* Stop! Hitting! Yourself! *a fart is heard, and the Agent Seann turns* Who farted?
Agent Seanns: *wait, then burst out laughing*
Agent Seann: *laughs, then stops* Seanns, focus! *Seanns stop laughing* Let's get Mr. Timberlake...
Agent Seanns: *jump on Justin* Seann pile! *other Agent Seanns start saying the same thing, over and over again*
Agent Seann: *right on top of Justin, puts finger in mouth, then takes it out* Wet Willy, Mr. Timberlake... *puts wet finger in Justin's ear*
Justin: *grimaces and screams, throwing all the Agent Seanns off of himself*
Agent Seann: *goes flying through the air* Whoa! *falls on face and gets up*
Justin: *punches Agent Seann*
Agent Seann: Ow! *falls down, gets back up and is regular Seann again* Justin, you really hit me. That is so not cool! *lightly pushes Justin*
Justin: *laughs a bit, pushes Seann*
Seann: *pushes back, this whole thing goes on and starts into a sissy fight, which is seen on the effects of a television screen*
Man: *taps on pen, TV goes off, TVs go back on, showing Neo*
Neo: *looks around as camera turns toward him, and Justin and Seann are standing beside him*
Justin and Seann: *look around, see Neo and jump back a bit*
Man: *turns in chair* Hello, I've been waiting for you three.
Neo: Who are you?
Justin: Yeah, who are you?
Man: I am the Architect. But please, call me Larry.
Seann: Hey, Larry!
Justin: Larry! Heh, heh.
Larry: I created the Matrix. And several popular video games. Including Quebert, and Dig Dug. I didn't create Frogger, but I came up with the name for it. Do you believe they wanted to call it 'Highway Crossing Frog'?
Seann: That is so lame!
Larry: I know. It's the lamest thing I've ever heard of. Highway Crossing Frog...
Neo: Why am I here?
Seann: Yeah, why are we here?
Larry: Is there an echo in here? *echoes* The MTV Movie Awards are a systemic anomaly inherent to the programming of the Matrix. Although the transport process has altered your consciousness, you irrevocably remain human. Ergo, concordantly, vi( a vi(, you know what, I have no idea what the hell I'm saying. I just thought it would make me sound cool.
Neo: You haven't answered my question.
Larry: I'm feeling a little vulnerable right now, so you just need to chill out. Hmm? Can you do that for me? I appreciate that. Thank you. Now, originally, Neo was the chosen one to host the show, but hosting is a full- time commitment, and he's been a little distracted lately. *shots of Trinity appear on screens*
Neo: Trinity!
Larry: See what I'm talking about? *Seann and Justin nod in agreement* That's why I brought in Seann and Justin. Because you, my friend, are completely pussy-whipped.
Justin: Oh! *makes whipping motion and sound*
Neo: Bullshit.
Larry: Watch the sass, Captain Sassy-Pants
Seann: Yeah, you're kinda spazin' out, dude.
Neo: You haven't answered my question.
Larry: Yes I did, you see, what I-
Neo: You haven't answered my question.
Larry: I'm trying, you just need to let me talk.
Neo: Why am I here?
Larry: Ugh, will you shut up?
Neo: You won't let it-
Larry: *yelling* No, you won't let it! I'm the one who talks! 'Kay mouth shut, ears open!
Neo: You haven't answered my-
Larry: *slams on arms of chair* You do NOT want to see me get out of the chair! Ergo, open your yapper one more time, and I'm gunna Architect a world of pain all over your candy-ass! Ergo! Vi( a vi(!
Neo: This is about-
Larry: Concordantly! *breathes* Justin?
Justin: Yeah?
Larry: I apologize. I don't usually like to use my big voice.
Justin: That's alright dog, just tell us how we get to the Movie Awards.
Larry: There are two doors. The door on your left, leads Sissy-boy here back to his bitch. *Neo looks at him* Yeah, Uh-huh. What up G? You can't handle it! The door on your right, leads you to the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. And the mini door is for Muffin to go out and piddle.
Neo: *looks at cat*
Larry: No, ah-ah, hey. *snaps fingers at Neo, who looks up* You are bizarre.
Seann and Justin: *walk towards door to the right*
Seann: Thanks Lair.
Larry: Don't mention it. Oh, and hey. *the two look over* Go host the shit out of that show.
Justin: *nods* (He says something, but I can't tell what he said. Subtitles are being gay) *he and Seann walk through the door*
Neo: *walks towards left door, reaches for doorknob* If I were you-
Larry: Bite your tongue. Bite it!
Neo: I would hope that we don't meet again.
Larry: Why'd you say that? I told you to shut up. *gets out of chair and runs towards Neo* I told you to SHUT UP! *jumps on Neo, causing them to fall through the door*
End! Yeah. I got some of the stuff wrong, my subtitles are being gay, and they're only showing up in French, so I was like "What?" while attempting to read it. But anyways, the Actors were as followed... Dancing Guy in Zion- Andy Dick Oracle- Wanda Sykes The Architect/ Larry- Will Ferrell The skit was using clips from Reloaded for Neo's lines, and for Morpheus's lines. The Keymaker was there in person. YAY!
Yes. Most of you may not have been able to see this, if you didn't catch the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. I know I didn't catch it. Or if you don't have a DVD player. So, here's the opening skit from the 2003 Movie Awards, staring Justin Timberlake and Seann William-Scott.
Since this is a skit, I don't own this! It is in no way, shape, or form original.
- Seann William-Scott, Justin Timberlake, and two random women turn the corner in a hallway.
Justin: Yeah, but I knew it was Ashton the whole time.
Seann: Right. *stops in front of apartment door, and gets key out* Ladies, In a few seconds, we'll be sippin' on some Cris, and watching the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. *tries to put key in lock, but the key isn't going in*
Justin: *whispers* Quit playing around, Seann.
Seann: I'm not, dude, my key won't fit!
Voice from behind the two: You must be the Ones!
Justin: *turns, as does Seann* Oh cool, it's the super.
Voice: Actually, I'm the keymaker. *takes string of keys off neck, goes to unlock the door* Don't worry, you'll be inside in just a moment. *door opens*
Seann: *looks at Keymaker* Awesome, thanks! *turns back to door, which is glowing red*
Justin and Seann: *disappear into the red light, door stops glowing*
Girls: *look surprised and scared*
Keymaker: *blows air over key as if it is a gun, looks at girls* What's happening, hot stuffs?
- Scene changes to the cave in Zion, where everyone is dancing, if one would even call it dancing... That really wet guy throws his head back, all the water... or sweat flying off of him.
Seann and Justin: *get drenched in wetness, grimace*
Seann: Ew! Dude!
Justin: Where the hell are we?
Partying Guy: You're in Zion, baby! *dances*
Seann: What is this place?
Guy: Duh! It's obviously an underground city where the last remaining humans live, and the robots are coming to kill us. Doesn't that just make you wanna party? Yeah! *dances*
Justin: Dude, let's get out of here...
Seann: I don't know man, these girls are pretty hot! *scene shows girls dancing* Check it out, you can totally see their nipples! *shows girls with see-through shirts dancing*
Guy: Oh my God, there's Morpheus! *shows Morpheus walking to the edge of the higher cliff* Woo! I love you Morpheus! *people cheer*
Morpheus: Zion! Hear me!
Guy: He's having a huge orgy at his place later tonight. At least, that's what many of us have heard.
Morpheus: It is true, what many of you have heard. *people cheer*
Guy: Yes! Morpheus! *scene shows Morpheus turning his head* What can we expect at this orgy?
Morpheus: Machines! *crowd goes quiet*
Justin: Man, I'm out. *turns to walk away*
Seann: Sounds kinda kinky! *ear is grabbed by Justin, and Seann is pulled away* Ow, ow, ow!
Guy: Uh, okay, I'll see you guys there! *pause* And bring plenty of lube!
- Scene changes to a white hallway with a lot of doors.
Seann and Justin: *step out of a door, Justin is wearing a baggy black trench coat, and Seann is wearing a tight shiny black trench coat*
Justin: *looks at Seann's trench coat, and snorts, holding a laugh*
Seann: *looks at coat, then looks at Justin, angry* What?!
Justin: *stops short* Nothing. *both look down hallway, which is endless*
Seann: *starts walking alongside Justin* Great, an infinite hallway of doors. *starts walking like he has to pee*
Justin: One of these has to lead back to your apartment.
Seann: You know what? You try that one. *points to door* I need to use this one. *points to door on opposite side, which is men's room, and walks in*
Justin: *opens door Seann told him to, showing Neo talking with the Oracle*
Neo: I see Trinity, and something happens, something bad. She starts to fall... And then I wake up.
Oracle: Now dat's fucked up!
Justin: *sits down beside Oracle on bench* I'm so sorry to interrupt you guys, but I'm really lost.
Oracle: Wait a minute, you dat boy from N*Sync, what happened to your Jerry curls, man? Dat was a good look. Now dat was hot! *turns to Neo* You know dem boys, right?
Neo: I've never heard of them.
Oracle: You never heard of N*Sync?
Neo: No.
Oracle: Dos' boys can dance! *turns back to Justin* Come on man, show him your moves.
Justin: Do I have to?
Oracle: I'm da Oracle, damnit.
Justin: *does the robot*
Neo: If I had to guess, I'd say you were a program from the machine world.
Justin: Nah man, I'm just doin' the robot! Here, you should try it... *gets up and does the robot the classic way*
Oracle: Yeah! Work it! Come on Neo, get in there, man. Do the robot.
Neo: Why?
Oracle: Come on man, you da One. You're the One, you can do it all! *makes sad attempt at the robot*
Neo: No.
Oracle: Come on, man. Domo Arigatou Mr. Roboto.
Justin: *still doing the robot* You can do the robot with JT!
Neo: What if I can't... What happens if I fail?
Justin: *stops dancing, as does Oracle* Okay, dude. Lighten up, for real. It's just the robot.
Neo: No. I can't do that, I won't.
Oracle: Well, hell, I will! *walks towards Justin, sings* Talk to me, boy! Don't be scared! *gets up against Justin, dancing*
Justin: *disgusted* Oh God...
Oracle: *pushes against him* Come on do the party. Do the naked party.
Agent: *starts walking towards the three, turns out to be Seann* Mr. Timberlake...
Justin: Mr. William Scott...
Oracle: Hey, you're dat guy who got peed on in American Pie.
Seann: *jams hand into Oracle's stomach, that dark stuff coming from where his hand is*
Oracle: *dark stuff is starting to cover her body* Ooh, you're hittin' the spot! How big is your fist? Good Lord! Hey! Wait a minute man, this shit is dry clean only!
Agent Seann: You'll like being a dude!
Oracle: *changes into another Agent Seann* I do.
Agent Seanns: *start to come from everywhere*
Justin: *looking around at all Agent Seanns* That is a shit load of Stiflers!
Agent Seanns: *crack necks*
Justin: *puts on sunglasses, puts hand out and does Morpheus's hand motion thing. 'Dance With Me' music starts and Justin dances*
Agent Seanns: *run up to Justin*
Justin: *blocks punch from one Seann, and elbows him. Blocks another Seann and flips him over. Adjusts trench coat, punches another Seann, kicks another.*
Agent Seanns: *come from doors around everywhere*
Justin: *elbows two Seanns in the face, music stops. Jumps up, and kicks a Seann, causing that Seann to turn around and slap another Seann*
Agent Seann: *grabs Seann that hit him and starts to punch him in the face* Stop! Hitting! Yourself! *a fart is heard, and the Agent Seann turns* Who farted?
Agent Seanns: *wait, then burst out laughing*
Agent Seann: *laughs, then stops* Seanns, focus! *Seanns stop laughing* Let's get Mr. Timberlake...
Agent Seanns: *jump on Justin* Seann pile! *other Agent Seanns start saying the same thing, over and over again*
Agent Seann: *right on top of Justin, puts finger in mouth, then takes it out* Wet Willy, Mr. Timberlake... *puts wet finger in Justin's ear*
Justin: *grimaces and screams, throwing all the Agent Seanns off of himself*
Agent Seann: *goes flying through the air* Whoa! *falls on face and gets up*
Justin: *punches Agent Seann*
Agent Seann: Ow! *falls down, gets back up and is regular Seann again* Justin, you really hit me. That is so not cool! *lightly pushes Justin*
Justin: *laughs a bit, pushes Seann*
Seann: *pushes back, this whole thing goes on and starts into a sissy fight, which is seen on the effects of a television screen*
Man: *taps on pen, TV goes off, TVs go back on, showing Neo*
Neo: *looks around as camera turns toward him, and Justin and Seann are standing beside him*
Justin and Seann: *look around, see Neo and jump back a bit*
Man: *turns in chair* Hello, I've been waiting for you three.
Neo: Who are you?
Justin: Yeah, who are you?
Man: I am the Architect. But please, call me Larry.
Seann: Hey, Larry!
Justin: Larry! Heh, heh.
Larry: I created the Matrix. And several popular video games. Including Quebert, and Dig Dug. I didn't create Frogger, but I came up with the name for it. Do you believe they wanted to call it 'Highway Crossing Frog'?
Seann: That is so lame!
Larry: I know. It's the lamest thing I've ever heard of. Highway Crossing Frog...
Neo: Why am I here?
Seann: Yeah, why are we here?
Larry: Is there an echo in here? *echoes* The MTV Movie Awards are a systemic anomaly inherent to the programming of the Matrix. Although the transport process has altered your consciousness, you irrevocably remain human. Ergo, concordantly, vi( a vi(, you know what, I have no idea what the hell I'm saying. I just thought it would make me sound cool.
Neo: You haven't answered my question.
Larry: I'm feeling a little vulnerable right now, so you just need to chill out. Hmm? Can you do that for me? I appreciate that. Thank you. Now, originally, Neo was the chosen one to host the show, but hosting is a full- time commitment, and he's been a little distracted lately. *shots of Trinity appear on screens*
Neo: Trinity!
Larry: See what I'm talking about? *Seann and Justin nod in agreement* That's why I brought in Seann and Justin. Because you, my friend, are completely pussy-whipped.
Justin: Oh! *makes whipping motion and sound*
Neo: Bullshit.
Larry: Watch the sass, Captain Sassy-Pants
Seann: Yeah, you're kinda spazin' out, dude.
Neo: You haven't answered my question.
Larry: Yes I did, you see, what I-
Neo: You haven't answered my question.
Larry: I'm trying, you just need to let me talk.
Neo: Why am I here?
Larry: Ugh, will you shut up?
Neo: You won't let it-
Larry: *yelling* No, you won't let it! I'm the one who talks! 'Kay mouth shut, ears open!
Neo: You haven't answered my-
Larry: *slams on arms of chair* You do NOT want to see me get out of the chair! Ergo, open your yapper one more time, and I'm gunna Architect a world of pain all over your candy-ass! Ergo! Vi( a vi(!
Neo: This is about-
Larry: Concordantly! *breathes* Justin?
Justin: Yeah?
Larry: I apologize. I don't usually like to use my big voice.
Justin: That's alright dog, just tell us how we get to the Movie Awards.
Larry: There are two doors. The door on your left, leads Sissy-boy here back to his bitch. *Neo looks at him* Yeah, Uh-huh. What up G? You can't handle it! The door on your right, leads you to the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. And the mini door is for Muffin to go out and piddle.
Neo: *looks at cat*
Larry: No, ah-ah, hey. *snaps fingers at Neo, who looks up* You are bizarre.
Seann and Justin: *walk towards door to the right*
Seann: Thanks Lair.
Larry: Don't mention it. Oh, and hey. *the two look over* Go host the shit out of that show.
Justin: *nods* (He says something, but I can't tell what he said. Subtitles are being gay) *he and Seann walk through the door*
Neo: *walks towards left door, reaches for doorknob* If I were you-
Larry: Bite your tongue. Bite it!
Neo: I would hope that we don't meet again.
Larry: Why'd you say that? I told you to shut up. *gets out of chair and runs towards Neo* I told you to SHUT UP! *jumps on Neo, causing them to fall through the door*
End! Yeah. I got some of the stuff wrong, my subtitles are being gay, and they're only showing up in French, so I was like "What?" while attempting to read it. But anyways, the Actors were as followed... Dancing Guy in Zion- Andy Dick Oracle- Wanda Sykes The Architect/ Larry- Will Ferrell The skit was using clips from Reloaded for Neo's lines, and for Morpheus's lines. The Keymaker was there in person. YAY!