Behold my first attempt at a Phantasy Star fic...enjoy! I owe my inspiration for this to 'The Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings Characters', from which I shamelessly stole the format and to the Conversations Within Elsydeon for the general silliness it brings into the world.

Day 1- Lassic kills my brother Nero, stupid Lassic. I vow revenge and regret it later after realizing just how hard traveling really is. Can't afford any burgers so I eat a Wind Eye instead. I nearly get killed on the way to Scion where some guy gives me a Laconian Pot.

Day 2- Stupid shopkeeper won't tell me his stupid secrets so I beat him with my sheathed sword. He changes his mind rather quick. Can't afford a passport so I rig one up using construction paper and markers. Looks crappy, but those visors really impair the guards' vision.

Day 3- Visit Motavia where I'm given a cat in exchange for my pot. I've always wanted a cat.

Day 5- Time to go spelunking! Still trying to figure out why all the caves in Algol are made from bricks and always turn at 90 degree angles, must be some natural phenomenon. Found a statue, Myau says that it's Odin. Poor guy. Apparently, some Scorpions had been using his head and shoulders to lay their eggs on. Took ages to clean him up. Myau was nearly killed by an Owl Bear on the way out and tried to heal himself with a bottle of cola. Quite funny watching him try to open it.

Day 9- Heading back to Motavia and attacked every other step. Odin says it's because my pink dress is terrible camouflage. He's probably right.

Day 13- Who in the Great Light's name runs a cake shop four stories underground and next to the most dangerous area on Palma?! Buy the cake and Odin eats it so I tie him up with Rope and throw Myau at his face. I want to kill Odin!!! He agrees to reraise the money to buy another cake.

Day 14- Odin gets the 1000 Meseta in one night and has a really big smile on his face. He and Myau won't speak to me. Note to self: don't abuse friends in the (near) future.

Day 20- Noah lives in the middle of nowhere. He's actually kinda hot...if he's a guy.

Day 23- Still trying to figure out how Noah manages to lift the manhole covering by himself. Odin thinks it's magic. He's probably right.

Day 27- Luveno's partner puts the 'ass' in assistant after we free him. Have to cross the lava lake. Odin carries Myau and Noah across while I try to be macho and walk. Now regret it as I will walk the next 30 miles with 3rd degree burns on the bottom of my feet.

Day 28- Luckily, those 30 miles were through water. Problem is, that it's salt water, ouch! Subsist on clams and octopus for the next two days. I learn I'm allergic to shellfish and spend the rest of the day throwing up.

Day 31- Mad Scientist wants to kill Myau. We don't let him, good thing too. Myau carries us through that fight. Cats are awesome. Got a pot that looks mighty familiar...

Day 32- Noah insists we buy some Polymetryl. There goes our burger money. I'm as angry as Odin.

Day 34- Use Noah's cane to make a fishing pole and catch some seaweed. It's better than eating more clams, I suppose. I hear a scream and see Noah half bald and hurling fireballs at Odin. He accidently kills Noah in self- defense, it's all good though. We just take him to a church later. Apparently, Noah also got sunburned. He had a really bad day.

Day 37- Find Hapsby thanks to Noah. He's got that female intuition...maybe he's really a girl.

Day 42- Back to Motavia. We really rock the Casba! Not sure why we need to kill a dragon and take the Amber Eye, but Odin tells me it's a good idea to take advice from random strangers. He's probably right.

Day 43-53- Keep trying to raise money to buy the LandRover, but I always find 100 fewer Mesetas than what I count the night before...

Day 56- What the hell is Noah's gender?! This is really bothering me now. Odin finds a really shiny shield, good for him.

Day 58- We kill Medusa thanks to my Rope spell, go me!

Day 64- Sorry no entries as of late. Noah took some of my journal pages and crumbled them into a ball to entertain Myau on the ride to Dezoris.

Day 65- Sooooo cold, thinking Myau would make a handsome fur hat right about now. Noah was kind enough to make us a fire. Go spelunking again, the symmetry in these caves is becoming unnerving.

Day 71- Buy the Ice Digger from the Dezorans with the money we made from killing Dezorans- kind of ironic. Myau whined that it was a barbaric thing to do, but I don't take advice from things I'd just as soon wear as converse with.

Day 72- Took a detour to the Morgue and fell through a pit. Rather than pull me out, Myau, Odin, and Noah dive in after me. We start over and Myau says we can just walk around the pit. Noah seems agitated for some reason.

Day 75- Find the Prism to get to Lassic's castle and fight our first Titan- that sucked.

Day 77- On the way to the Corona Tower, we lose Myau and spend the rest of the afternoon looking for him. Later find him buried under a snow drift with his tongue stuck to a puddle of ice. I'm not about to ask how that happened.

Day 78- Mission get the Eclipse Torch: Take Two. Turns out getting the Amber Eye was smart after all. I have no idea what a Dezoran wants it for. The priest will probably throw it at us on the way out of the Temple or use it to blow up Palma or something. I'm really developing a grudge against the natives.

Day 80-89- I HATE THOSE LYING DEZORANS!!! Took days in that cave to find the Laconian Shield.

Day 90- Pick up the Laerma Nuts before leaving Dezoris. I don't know why we needed the Eclipse Torch to melt the snow. Noah's fire spell worked just as well.

Day 91- Delayed on Dezoris because some vandal native installed some adware on Hapsby. Odin kicked him until he was fixed. I kill 14 Dezorans to let off some steam. I swear if I have to hear one more thing about seeing the famous Dezo-penguins.....

Day 95- Last day before tackling Baya Malay. Myau has taken a liking to sleeping on my head, very annoying.

Day 96- Finally enter Baya Malay. Noah opens the heaviest doors we see yet by himself- I was impressed. Odin was annoyed. Encounter some more G D lava. Great Light bless the Hovercraft I carry in my supply bag.

Day 97- Begin the long trek up the tower. I'm growing tired of everyone whining about wanting to take the Luveno to the top. We need the exercise after all those burgers and colas.

Day 98- Floor 14. Odin swears he sees a brick we've passed 6 times already. I just think everything looks alike. Noah later suggests making a map.

Day 100- Top of Baya Malay! Took all three of us to force Myau to eat the Laerma Nut. He was even less happy when Odin nicked his wing during the fight with the Gold Dragon.

Day 101- The people in the Air Castle are very unfriendly, especially the snake. We eventually kill Lassic. I never knew beating up an old man could be so boring. I kept getting distracted by this really cool music I kept hearing...

Day 103- Made it to Dark Falz. Noah and Odin were the only ones who were able to hurt it- I'm irked and feeling useless. The Governor was awfully calm for someone who just got possessed. I refuse his offer to be Queen of Algol on the grounds I can barely handle three people let alone the whole population. I take that back, I'm keeping Myau as a pet and moving to the countryside. Thank the Great Light that's over.