I stood beside John's bassinet in my room, holding him and trying to get him to stop crying by slowly rocking him. His cries finally start to get quieter, but he cried out even louder once Ben burst through the door. I turned around to face him and sighed heavily. "It's alright John. It's alright. It's just Ben. Sleep. Please sleep."I tried soothing him, making sure I kept my voice calm. Ben stepped closer to me and smiled very slightly.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make him cry." He said sympathetically, placing his hand on my arm so that I would look into his eyes. I looked up at his smiling face and grimaced. I shook his hand off my arm, and I turned my back towards him as John finally calmed down, and I set him back into his bed. I turned my head and looked at Ben, and then I walked back over to him and breathed deeply before speaking to him.
"What are you doing here so late, Ben?" I finally asked him, folding my arms together in disgust. I had just seen him earlier, when he went over to my dad's house to talk to Ashley, after he left John by himself with Leo and Betty.
"I came to see you and John, of course." He smiled, but I could see that there was hurt and rejection in his eyes. I silently groaned and rolled my eyes at him, looking down at the floor.
"I know that, but we just saw you, Ben. Are you sure you didn't come to only see me?" I asked him, speaking very slowly, slightly raising my eyebrows.
He didn't speak for a few seconds. He nervously put his hand on my cheek, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I was just wondering if maybe you had changed your mind." I put my hand on his that was touching my cheek and pulled it off.
"Why would I have changed my mind?" I asked him. He ignored my question and put his hands around my waist and pulled me into his arms, kissing me passionately. At first I didn't pull away because he had arms strongly locked around me, but then I decided that I have had enough. I abruptly pulled away, and I pushed him off of me.
"Amy, please." He said as he was frustrated, losing his patience.
I clamped my teeth together and began to speak, but Ben kissed me again, not allowing me to say anything. He held me tightly in his arms again, and he pulled away briefly before I could and spoke angrily. "Humor me." He pulled me back into his arms and kissed me again. I kissed him back, knowing that he would not give up. He pushed me down on the bed and tried unbuttoning my shirt, his hand shaking as he was nervous. He put his other hand on my arm, holding me down. I placed my other hand on his chest, shoving him off of me. He took his shirt off and I stood up immediently, not allowing him to do anything else. Then I slapped him in the face.
"No, Ben. Stop," I said coldly," I told you I don't want to do this!" I snapped at him. He turned his face away from me. I knew I had hurt him, but he was not respecting my boundaries at all, and I was not going to put with that.
"You did it with Ricky." He said scornfully, scowling at the thought.
"Yeah, and look what happened!" I shouted at him, anger suddenly building up inside of me.
Ben frowned. "Oh please, Amy, do you think that I would let you get pregnant? I'm not Ricky. I respect you."
I scrunched my eyebrows together, and I glared at him. "If you respected me then you would understand why I don't want to do this! I just had a baby! I am not going to have sex with you! I don't want to! "I exclaimed.
"You aren't being fair, Amy, and you know it. I shouldn't have to wait this long for you. Am I just not good enough? You had sex with Ricky, but I'll try and get over that if you will have sex with me.. It's only fair."
"No." I said bitterly, "It isn't fair. You can't make me do this. I'm not going to. No matter what you do or say, I am not going to give in. You aren't being fair. You understand everything that I'm going through! You're sick. All you care about is sex. If you can't accept my decision, then why don't you just leave! Just get out." I looked toward the doorway, gesturing for him to leave. He stood very still, not making any movement after he crossed his arms.
"Amy, you can't make me leave. Your my wife, you can't do that to me." Ben quietly said, trying to keep himself calm.
"I am not your wife! And by the way you are acting right now, I don't know if I ever want to be your wife!" I yelled more angrily than I had before.
Ben looked away from me again and quietly muttered under his breath,"You'd like to be Ricky's."
I slapped him again. I was so angry at him. I yelled again,"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE RICKY'S WIFE! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! STOP COMING OVER HERE ALL THE TIME! STOP GETTING JEALOUS! JUST PLEASE- PLEASE," I instantly broke down crying, feeling manipulated and tormented. "Go away."
"Amy, please don't cry. I am not jealous," He lied," It just isn't fair that you keep me waiting all this time. I can't do this anymore, Amy. It's too hard for me. I can't wait anymore. I guess we- we can't be together anymore."
"Fine. I- I don't care. I don't need you." I said, looking away from him as I continued crying. It hurt me that he was breaking up with me. But what hurt me even more was why he was breaking up with me.
"I'm sorry. This is just so hard...He said, hiding his face while he cantered out of my room. I closed my door after he left and walked over to my bed and laid down, hiding under the cover and crying myself to sleep, and then I was soon awoken by both Ben and Ricky, trampling through my door.