Standard Disclaimer: Houston Knights belongs to Jay Bernstein and Michael Butler and Columbia Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended. This is fan fiction, written out of love for the show. I am making no money off this. I have no money so please don't sue me. Any original characters who may appear in these stories are the property of the author.

Houston Knights Fanfiction

Out Of Touch

Sequel to It´s All Decided For Us

Summery: After what happened everybody expects Joe to pick up the pieces of his life and go on. But instead Joe loses his grip on reality. Will Levon in the end be able to persuade his partner that his life is worth the effort? Warning: Drugs and Angst and a cliffhanger.

Violet to Blue

Chapter 1

Ever since they had pulled Joe back into life he had felt strangely disconnected, detached and out of place. Seen from the outside it still might be his life. The difference seemed to be minor, just like in A Space Odyssey, the film he had seen as an adolescent. It was as if everything had been turned inside out, he felt he was standing behind rather than in front of the mirror. Everything was on the wrong side, and in everything he did Joe felt misplaced and strangely out of touch.

They all were glad that he was ok and they all presumed that he would soon be fully restored. But as time passed Joe realized that this wasn´t the case, in fact everything had changed, no, he had ultimately changed. He settled into a life that wasn´t his own anymore. He had turned into a mere observer, floating above and watching his own life from the outside.

The only thing that was still his own was the pain, the physical as well as the mental pain that with time became a constant companion and a reminder of what had happened.

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

Levon had brought a small bag of clothes for Joe to the hospital, shoes, toiletries. Joe had dressed and he had disappeared for a short final consultation into the doc´s office. Levon waited outside looking at the tickets and anxiously checking his watch. He wasn´t keen to miss the flight back. With the workload at the Major Crimes Unit at Houston it had been hard to make time for the trip to pick Joe up at South Lake Tahoe. But Levon had promised to come personally to take Joe back to Houston.

Gauging Joe´s reaction to their meeting now Levon wasn´t sure if his partner really appreciated his effort.

The door to the doc´s office flew open and Joe stepped out.

"Yah ready?" Levon asked, picking up the bag he had set down.

"Yeah."

"Mr. LaFiamma," a voice from inside the office called.

Joe turned back. The bodiless voice of the secretary rang out: "You forgot the letter for your physician and your meds."

Joe stepped back into the office and when he came out again he slipped an envelope into the breast pocket of his jacket. "Thank you." He turned to Levon and handed him the small paper bag with the medication to stash into the travel bag. "Come on, let´s get going."

It was only a short ride to the airport and the flight was announced to leave on time. Levon handed in the baggage at the check in desk and half an hour later they were airborne.

They hadn´t exchanged more than a dozen words since they had met and trying to read Joe´s mood Levon wasn´t expecting a livelier conversation during the flight either. He sighed and settled deeply into his seat, closing his eyes and pretending to drift off into a deep sleep almost instantaneously.

Joe seemed tense and unable to relax. He eyed Levon, trying to assess if the Texan was really asleep and he continued fidgeting. Dismissing the offer of the stewardess of a drink and a newspaper Joe finally pulled out the envelope the doc´s secretary had handed him. Once again he looked over at Levon, to make sure his partner was indeed asleep. Though Joe was still hindered by the sling that held his arm he cautiously pried open the sealed envelope. It contained three sheets of paper. Joe read all of them attentively. Then he slipped two back into the envelope, whereas he refolded the remaining one and put it into his breast pocket.

Even though it looked like it, Levon hadn´t been asleep. He wondered what Joe was doing with the papers. Levon hadn´t been able to read any of the writing. But Joe´s behavior was strange, that much he could tell for sure.

After touchdown at Houston Hobby Airport they waited at the conveyor belt for the baggage. Levon knew that it was time to broach the subject that had been on his mind for a while. "Why don´t you come and stay at the ranch for those two weeks of sick leave you´ve got left?"

Joe looked at him in surprise but after a split second his face closed. "Nah, you´ll be working all the time and it´s not even my place. Thanks, but I´d rather stay at my apartment." Joe sighted the bag and stepped towards the belt to pick it up.

But Levon beat him to it. "Let me get this, you´re not supposed to carry anything yet." He did not comment on Joe´s rejection of the invitation. He had not really expected Joe to go for his suggestion. "Ok, but if you want to stay at your place we´ll have to stop for some groceries on the way, your fridge is empty."

Joe looked uneasy. "I don´t have any cash at hand, sorry, I won´t be able to spend any money before I get to the bank to make a withdrawal."

Levon could see that Joe had not considered this before, he looked a bit helpless, as if he felt uneasy about being at the mercy of his partner.

Levon smiled. "Don´t worry, I´ll give you an advance." They headed for the parking lot.

"Levon, I´m not sure when I´ll be able to repay you…"

"I know that I´m not the only one you´ve borrowed money from, but really, don´t worry. I can wait." Levon slapped Joe´s shoulder.

Joe blushed. "How do you know?"

"Well, Annie told us when you were kidnapped." Levon tried to sound neutral. "You could have asked me, you know that, don´t yah?"

"I did not want to push my luck," Joe answered contritely. "After the last time…"

They passed the ride to the supermarket in silence. Joe picked some supplies for his fridge but against his habit he went for the cheapest products. Levon could see the strategy behind it and he did not comment.

At Joe´s apartment Levon set down both the baggage and the paper bag with the groceries. When he started to unpack the groceries Joe held him back.

"Thanks, I can handle that. Don´t bother, I´m not an invalid."

Levon looked slightly irritated. "Ok, please yourself. But you let me know when you need anything, ok?"

Joe nodded. "I´m ok, really." But the expression in his eyes said something totally different.

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

It had been a busy few weeks. The phone hadn´t stood still during this crucial time Michael LaFiamma had overseen the merger of his family business with that of Disanto´s. The necessary reorganization had proved to be more tiresome than the mob boss had expected and it would still take some time for the waves to calm and the community to return to its usual equilibrium. There were just too many forces behind the scenes working against him, something he had slightly underestimated.

This was one of the reasons why Michael LaFiamma answered his business line not without a sense of wary anticipation. The voice at the other end, however, brought a smile to his tense face.

"Joey, good to hear you. How are you doing, kid?"

"I´m ok, Uncle Mikey."

The mob boss wondered at the underlying note of sadness in his nephew´s voice. "Listen Joey, I wanted to come see you, but you know how things are, with the business and all."

"It´s ok, Uncle Mikey, I understand that, don´t worry. I just want to ask something of you."

The mob boss cringed. He hoped Joe didn´t want any information referring to the business. That he couldn´t provide such likes to a cop, no matter how closely related, he had made clear a long time ago.

"Joey, you know…"

"Not what you think, Uncle Mikey. I need Renaldo Disanto´s phone number."

Michael LaFimma sighed. "Kid, do you think this is a good idea? Haven´t you been through enough? I´m pretty sure Julia´s father won´t even talk to you. Why don´t you just let it go, Joey?"

There was a short silence and the mob boss wondered if the slight tremble in his nephew´s voice was due to the bad line. "Please, Uncle Mikey, just give me the number, I really need to talk to him."

"Ok, have it your way then. You got something to write?"

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

Levon felt distracted. He could not keep his mind on the job he had to do. Instead he was worrying about his partner. While he was going through a report he found his mind wandering to the trip back from South Lake Tahoe. He did not notice Annie Hartung who passed by his desk on her way out from Joanne´s office.

"Hi Levon." Annie had brought her wheelchair to a halt at his side.

Levon looked up in surprise. "Oh, Annie, sorry, I didn´t notice you."

"You ok, Levon?" Annie´s sixth sense could always detect when something was bothering him.

"Yeah, sure, Annie, everything´s just fine." Inwardly Levon asked for forgiveness for the blatant lie.

She raised an eyebrow. "You wanna try again?"

Levon smiled. "Ok, I know Annie, there´s just no way I can fool you, can´t I?"

"You´re right, sugar. So what´s weighing you down?"

"I´m I so transparent?"

"I guess I´ve known you long enough to recognize the signs." She smiled back at him. "Is it about your partner?"

Levon sighed. "Yeah. I don´t know what to make of his behavior."

"How is Joey?"

"I don´t know, I would have thought he was glad to be back. But he´s so distant, just not like himself."

"Well, I guess you need to give him some time, he´s been through a rough patch. It is bound to take a while to get back to normal after what happened to him."

"Yeah, I hope that´s all there is to it." Levon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Annie, I´m worried sick about Joe, and I really don´t know how to deal with him. He´s…he´s…I don´t know…just like he´s not really there."

"Then look out for him, perhaps he needs your help," Annie suggested.

"Hard to do that if he rejects even to see me. He wouldn´t let me help him."

"Well, he´s just like you, you wouldn´t want anyone to mother you either, do you?" She winked. "You could be twins."

Levon couldn´t help but smile at her. "Yeah, fat chance."

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

In the depth of the night Joe lay awake, yet again. He hadn´t slept since he had been back in Houston. In the hospital in South Lake Tahoe they had given him a barbiturate to help with the insomnia. He had asked for a prescription when he had left but the doc had refused to grant it and had stressed that Joe wasn´t supposed to take any sleeping pills constantly. And especially not in combination with the painkillers which he still needed regularly. Though his kidneys had healed and the bruises weren´t as painful as before Joe still felt a constant dull pain in his lower back. When he had mentioned it to the doc during the final consultation the physician had expressed his hope that the discomfort would abate soon and recommended to gradually reduce the pain killers over the next two weeks.

Joe rolled on his side and turned on the light on the nightstand. The notepad with Renaldo Disanto´s number lay beside the glass of water and the box of painkillers. He looked at the alarm. It was half past three. There was no way he could call the old man at this time of night.

Joe sighed and sat up. He took a painkiller out of the plastic container and downed it with a few swigs of water. If only he could get some sleep. He got up and headed for the spiral staircase that led to the living room. As he descended his thoughts revolved around Julia and their meeting in Las Vegas. His chest constricted with the sheer pain of loss and when he stood in the middle of his living room he started to sob uncontrollably. He slumped down on the couch and let the wave of grief wash over him.

It was well over an hour later that his tears slowly subsided. Drained from the crying Joe dropped to one side to lie down and close his eyes.

Slowly he felt sleep claim him. Dreamlike images started to fill his mind, gaining momentum and reeling past in a quickening succession. When they manifested in Julia´s image he almost violently jerked up and was instantly wide awake again.