I'll Never Stop
"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." - Plato
So there I was, on my back with another blonde bombshell on top of me. I liked the way her back arched when I dug my nails into her hips. I liked the way hair fell over her eyes every time she threw her head back. She loved the way I'd lie to her and tell her she was my favourite. She loved the way I made her feel special, like she was the only woman that existed to me. The heat between us would rise, naturally, our skin laced with sweat. The air would be filled with nothing, nothing but guttural moans and profanities as I raised my hips against hers one last time. And then, as soon as it had begun, it had finished. She'd thank me; tell me that I was the best, the perfect lover. She'd tell me that she loved me.
I never listened.
I never responded.
Instead, I'd get out of bed and get dressed again. I had better things to be doing that night, like another woman or doing vodka shots. They were my favourite. Bitter with little flavour, but the more you drank, the more you wanted.
THIS time, however, was different. Much different, and I knew that this time, it was wrong. So very fucking wrong. My mother would scream at me and my father would shoot me right there and then if he knew what I was doing – or rather, who was doing me. Yes, it was a man, but no, not just any man. This one had taken my interest; the first man to ever do that. But no, it wasn't just that.
It felt weird, weird to be on top, in the woman's position as he took complete control and stripped me of my pride. I became vulnerable and I prayed that he'd never fucking stop. Never. It felt like he never did stop, either, he'd just raise and drop his hips again and again. I would do the same but I couldn't do it like he could. He'd had practice, I'd had none. I learnt how effective it could be to rake your nails down a man's chest, how easy it was to make him shiver. I should've known – the women did the same to me.
I told this guy I loved him. I told him after our first night together. He smirked at me and simply got out of bed to get dressed again. He had better things to be doing that night, he said, like another man, or vodka shots. They were his favourite.
I never saw him again after that.
Reno Chakram…got a nice ring to it, don't it?
AU - Reno Sinclair and Axel Chakram.
It takes just as much passion to hate as it does to love.