No Pain No Gain
Story by Dyane Benson aka MovieGal (dyane@wisdommicro.com)
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, they belong to Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Brothers. I am only having a little fun with a story. No infringment intended. The story is mine so I need to know if you use it for anything. I just read another fanfic titled Until We Meet Again and I noticed that there are a few similarities with my story. No infringement was intended.
Time frame: Season Three during and after Over the Limit. I have changed what happened in the original episode ever so slightly. She has all the brains and instincts of a good agent, but what would it take to make her a "bad ass" one as well? This episode provided the needed material and soil to grow my story. Hope you enjoy. This is my first fanfic. Let me know if you liked it.
Rating: PG-13
Chapter 1
It was 8 a.m. Amanda sat at her desk at the Agency. She scanned the office and noted with a sigh that Lee was not there. He had been late 3 times that week coming in to work with a tired disheveled look and a grin. Amanda knew what that meant, another girl friend.
What do I care? She asked herself. It's not as if we have a relationship other than friendship. But over the past few months Amanda was sure that their friendship was growing beyond the bounds of "just friends". The look in his eyes the night he crawled up the trellis into her room during the Chamberlin case told her as much. She knew he had feelings for her but she didn't know how deep they ran. She knew she had feelings for him as well and was equally unsure of admitting how deep they ran. She could push her feelings down. She had been for over 2 years so far. Then, just when things were looking up, just when it seemed that his interest in her was growing and other women was going he starts coming into work looking like a tornado hit him and he couldn't stop smiling. That is until he would look at her. All he could do lately was find fault with everything she said and did. He was pushing her further and further away. He had been rude and condescending before but he had always apologized with either his eyes or his words. So far neither had escaped from him for over a week.
Amanda's heart ached. She could tell something was bothering him. She seemed to have this connection to him that she had never had with anyone before. That is what kept her coming back to this. It was a string that seemed to be connected to her mind, body and soul. She had never felt that way about anyone. Sure, she had to admit that she had a crush on him when she first met him. I mean, who wouldn't. He was incredibly handsome and dashing. But Amanda was not the typical girl. She did not swoon all over him and drool at his feet. She respected his instincts and he had saved her more times than she could remember. Over the past few years they had developed a close friendship. She had come to realize that there could never be anything romantic between them so she had settled for his friendship. They just seemed to click together so well. Sure, he was snappy and rude at times but she knew he had had a rough life as a kid and hadn't had a whole lot of love. That was why she was quick to dismiss his anger and curt words and actions with understanding. She cared deeply for him. She cared for him more than she had ever cared about any man before. She couldn't explain it. Every fiber of her being seemed alive at the most casual touch from him. It wasn't just his looks, though he was extremely handsome. She seemed to see into his soul and knew there was more there. She saw his pain and knew that shutting everyone out all these years was just a defense mechanism but somehow she knew she had made it past those defenses. He had become her best friend.
Lately though she sensed a distance, a coldness and an anger. He tried to keep her away from him and wouldn't let her assist in any assignment with him. Thank goodness Billy had decided to do Spring Cleaning in the office and she had a bunch of things she could take care of herself.
Around noon Lee finally came into the office. He was very tired from another all nighter with Leslie. He wasn't up to that any more and silently wondered why he kept doing it. It was like he was running from something, or someone. Lee glanced up and caught the eye of the one person right now he didn't want to see yet had an uncontrollable desire to see, Amanda. The pain reflected in her eyes as she looked up at him told him she knew what he was doing with his nights. He felt guilty. He didn't know why exactly. He looked away uncomfortably and cleared his throat. "Morning, Amanda", Lee managed.
"You mean afternoon, don't you?" she replied softly. Her voice was enough to melt his legs and with the guilt he was feeling at this moment he couldn't stand it. Francine looked up with a remark about his Midnight Rambling which only seemed to strengthen the guilt. He walked away from Amanda. He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes.
Lee was pushed aside by Billy. He could see the question on Billy's face. "Insomnia, Billy."
"Yea, chronic too. That's the fourth time this week. Look, we are doing Spring cleaning and I want you to watch out for Amanda. She hasn't done this before." Lee didn't miss the disappointment in Billy's voice about his recent activities.
"Ah, come on Billy. Amanda doesn't need a babysitter. She's been around here long enough to handle things herself."
"This is not open to discussion. You know how gung-ho Amanda can get. Just keep an eye on her. That's an order." With that Billy turned and left. His ears picked up the sarcastic tone of one annoying blonde.
"I haven't seen him look this bad since the Russian circus came into town. He was assigned a sword swallower. Her name was Sonja, Sandy…"
"Svetlana, Francine, it was Svetlana and she was an acrobat." Why did Francine always have to bring up his past in front of Amanda and flaunt it in his face. He looked at Amanda and noticed her tight smile. He didn't have to stand here and be grilled by these women. He smiled and left. He just couldn't shake this feeling of guilt that coursed through him when he looked at Amanda's face. Push it down, Lee. You have nothing to be ashamed about. It's not as if you have a relationship with Amanda besides friendship. Or do you? Lately all he could think about was her. Night and day she crept into his thoughts and dreams. She even appeared when he was with Leslie. Push it down, Lee, he told himself. He was getting pretty good at that. He had been doing it for over two years. Try as he might, he couldn't help but notice that she had somehow crept into his heart and set up a permanent residency there.
He couldn't remember when the little housewife from Arlington had stopped becoming an annoyance and became a welcoming sight everyday. He thought with fondness the courage she demonstrated time and time again saving his tail more times than his pride was willing to admit. Harry V. Thorton had seen it in her as well. 'Hold tight to that one, Lee, my boy,' he had told Lee recently after she had saved Harry's tail. She was becoming a good friend, his best friend if truth be told. Something about her made him open up and tell her things he had never told anyone about before. He even told her about Dorothy and his aversion to the smell of roses. He had never told anyone his true feelings. Until Amanda. She seemed to be able to read his mind and her patience and kindness made him feel so comfortable around her. I was during the Chamberlin case that things really started to get uncomfortable. He had seen the pictures Amanda had taken during her surveillance of Alan Chamberlin and had seen the terrorist, Frank Onechi, and knew she was in possible danger. Sure it had been in the middle of the night and he knew she would be asleep but he had to warn her right? He had convinced himself that it couldn't wait till morning. He had climbed the trellis next to her window and woken her up. She had let him in and quickly climbed back in her bed pulling her blankets up over her. She was so cute. Even with no makeup on and her hair all disheveled she looked like an angel. He had found himself suddenly speechless. He had casually asked how things had gone with Alan that night. He didn't miss the look on her face and the way she had touched her lips when he had asked her if anything unusual had happened. He was surprised by the strength of the jealousy that had gone through him at that moment. He had to get her away from Alan. He had told her to stop tailing him and showed her the picture of Frank. She, of course, did not agree stating that she was the only one close enough to him to get any answers and quoting the "textbook" how could he refuse. Once again her logic and common sense prevailed. How could he ague with her points on why she should stay on the case. If he refused her points he was afraid his jealousy would be seen and he was not prepared to deal with what that meant. She had agreed to leave at the first sign of danger and then they had shaken on it. That had been the mistake. The current of electricity that shot through him at their touch was intoxicating. Suddenly he was very aware that he was in this beautiful woman's bedroom and sitting on her bed and the only thing between him and her was a thin white nightgown. God, she was beautiful. All he had wanted to do at that moment was lean over and capture her lips with his and embrace her passionately. What was he thinking? He could tell she was just as affected and the way she reacted by trying to cover up was what snapped him out of his reverie. He had let his fingers gently slide out of her hand, caressing the tips of her fingers before letting her hand go. Even after he had left the emotions coursing through him had confused him. Actually they scared the hell out of him. He was a fully trained agent who could fool any number of women. He had this affect on women, they did not have that affect on him. Besides, she wasn't even his type. She was a single mother with a mortgage. They could never get involved romantically. Could they? No, that's impossible. Amanda required someone who was willing to make a commitment and Lee wasn't the settle down kind. He couldn't possibly be physically attracted to her. Then why had he wished he were the one on the other end of Amanda's lips when she had kissed Alan goodbye. He had never had anyone look at him the way Amanda looked after she had kissed Alan. They were real emotions not lust filled eyes. She was unlike any woman he had ever known. And the feelings being around her were starting to stir in him made him scared as hell. He couldn't think as clear so he had to push her away. He had to stay emotionally unattached. Lives were at stake in his line of work. What would happen if he found his concentration slipping when he had a job to do. No, he definitely needed to bury these feelings. Nothing could come of them anyway, right? He just had to continue to tell himself that. It was for her own good after all.
Well, he was with Leslie now, beautiful, sophisticated, refined, normal Leslie. There was something about Leslie that attracted him to her but he couldn't seem to put his finger on it. Maybe it was because every time he looked at Leslie and touched her, Amanda kept creeping into his mind. He tried to get her out. He was rude and snappy to her and he knew it. The hurt in Amanda's eyes after each confrontation was more than he could bear but he just reinforced his walls and shut her out.
He sighed as he sat down to drink his morning coffee. Boy did he need it. He was exhausted. His mind started to drift again…
He had a date with Leslie this weekend at the Embassy. He thought about the last Embassy party he had gone to with Amanda and he saw her with that breathtaking black dress with the thin straps that she had worn. Amanda had looked so beautiful. Her gentleness and kindness seemed to glow from her. She was always seeing the good in other people and especially him. Even after all those times he hurt her with his words or emotions she still forgave him. Her smile was radiant. Even the slightest touch sent tingles to every part of his body. Her smell was intoxicating and he could hardly think clearly when she was too close to him.
Yes, that was it. He had to push Amanda away so he could think clearly about what he felt about Leslie. Maybe he would get Leslie a dress like Amanda's. Leslie would look beautiful in it too. He made a mental note to ask Amanda where she got it. With a smile he walked in to Billy's office to start the day.
Tears stung her eyes and threatened to overflow. With her folders clasped firmly to her she breathed a sigh of relief as the elevator doors closed shutting out the picture of Lee standing in the hallway. He had asked her about the dress she wore to the Embassy Ball and was touched to hear him tell her how beautiful she was in it. Maybe he was coming around. Then she understood that his intentions were to get one for his girlfriend. She had quickly looked away knowing that the tears were waiting for an excuse to come. She politely excused herself and left. The tears that were waiting had been there all week. He refused to work with her on the files she was taking care of with the Spring Cleanup so she turned and left herself. She refused to let him see her cry. She made it to her car before the first one came and she sat there for 10 minutes as silent sobs racked her body. She knew they were just friends and he could date who he wanted but why did he have to be so rude? Why was he pushing her away. Taking a deep breath she raised her head and resolved, as she had many times, to keep going and move on. At least he was a friend. At least she hoped they were still friends. She wasn't even sure of that anymore. Even though she realized she did care for him deeper than that of a friend, she realized that he could never care for her, not the way she cared about him. Not a "frumpy housewife" from the suburbs with two kids and a mortgage as Francine was so kind to frequently point out.
Oh well, she had work to do. She started her car and headed to the Save the Bay office.
"What do you mean, an explosion? That's were Amanda was going!" Lee shouted at Billy.
"Look, I know how you feel. I am worried too. You don't have to yell at me. I didn't set off the bomb. Come to think of it, you should have been with her in the first place."
"Don't start Billy." Lee was in a daze. Once again Amanda was in danger and it was his fault. He refused to go with her when she had asked, saying she could handle it herself. Why was he so stubborn? "What am I going to do?" Lee didn't know that last thought had come out of his mouth.
"You can go down there now and see if she is all right!"
"Damn straight I can."
With that Lee slammed the door to Billy's office and headed to the elevators.
Francine stuck her head in Billy's office. "What's up with him?" Francine indicated the rapidly retreating figure of Lee.
"Amanda was down at the bay where the explosion took place."
"Well, with the way he's been behaving towards her lately I am surprised he even cares. I know she is just a housewife with clerical skills but even people like her deserve to be treated better than that."
It never ceased to amaze him at how condescending Francine could be even when she was trying to pay someone her version of a compliment. "Don't go there, Francine. What do you need?"
"I was just dropping off some of the completed files from Spring Cleaning that I am finished with. You don't have to be so snappy." With a huff Francine set the files down on Billy's desk and left the office.
Billy sighed. He could tell Lee was in turmoil over this but there was nothing he could do to help Lee see that the feelings he had were because he loved Amanda. The walls around Lee Stetson's heart had been breached by a wonderful, beautiful, smart, kind and caring housewife from Arlington. Billy smiled. She was the best thing to happen to Scarecrow. He just hoped Lee's little escapades over the last few days wouldn't destroy the tender heart of Amanda. He could see she was upset when she saw Lee. Billy had learned to read her openness as she had become very close to him too. They were the best team he had. Amanda had not yet received formal Agent training but Billy intended to have that fixed as soon as possible. He already told her he wanted her to go see Leatherneck for shooting practice. Amanda had asked him earlier that week if she could take the weekend till Tuesday off to go on a boat trip with her mother and sons. She had looked like she needed a break. He was more than happy to give it to her. He could see the pain in her eyes from the stress Lee's recent behavior was having on her. He made a mental note to mention Agent training to her when she got back.
Lee sat back in his car in front of his apartment. He silently reviewed the last few days. Lee was so relieved to see that Amanda had not been hurt by the blast. He had held her and comforted her. Somehow it felt so right to have her in his arms. The fear of possibly losing her had subsided and peace once more entered his soul. He had worked with her on the case and even let her call some of the shots. He had to admit that she was incredibly instinctive. He really would follow her blind through a snowstorm. She already made a fine agent and made a mental note to ask Billy about formal training. They were in high spirits as they made their way up to his apartment. Finding Leslie there had completely taken him by surprise. Guilt and anger and frustration all flowed through him once again. To top it all off Amanda and Leslie seemed to hit it off. When Leslie mentioned the dress to Amanda he saw the hurt in her eyes and it pierced his very soul. He couldn't deal with this now. He had rushed her out of the apartment and they had had another argument. She had told him that Leslie was too normal for him. He, of course, had become defensive and told her to go home after she mentioned the fact that she felt the warehouse needed to be watched. What did she know? Who was the senior agent here? He had told her to go home as the elevator doors shut. Reflecting back now he knew that she wouldn't but at the time his pride was too strong and his anger too hot that he didn't listen to that little voice that told him to follow her. Instead he went inside to have a nice meal and a romantic evening with Leslie. He had called Leslie Amanda but Leslie had let it slide. She had mentioned how lucky Lee was to have Amanda. Even Leslie saw the special qualities in Amanda and she had just met her briefly. Just as they were about to kiss the phone rang. He was to meet Okeefe with "the girl". Of course he wasn't going to use Amanda. This was too dangerous. He had called Francine and they had gone over to the warehouse. He and Francine had Okeefe on the run till Okeefe got the jump on Francine. Lee was forced to throw his gun away and had been frustrated at the turn of events. He found himself wishing that Amanda was there and then suddenly there she was, sneaking up with Francine's gun in her hand of all things! He knew he had to distract Okeefe. She aimed the gun at Okeefe but then at the last minute aimed it high and shop the pulley above Okeefe that was holding a net. The shot was perfect. The net landed on Okeefe and Lee had taken him out. Francine had congratulated Amanda on her shooting. Lee had a thousand things going through him. He was relieved to see Amanda, scared for her at the same time, had a gun pointing at him to name a few and what does she do? She takes out the pulley. Why didn't she take out Okeefe? He knew the answer. He knew she didn't like to shoot people but he couldn't help his anger. He had criticized her actions instead of complimenting her. What was up with him? They had gone back to the Agency and Amanda had been debriefed first. When he had come out she was gone. He had hoped to see her and apologize for her behavior. Billy had let him have it for his actions that night. Billy had told him how Amanda had gone over to the warehouse after leaving his place and kept a watch on Okeefe. That it was her that took out Okeefe's goon who had tried to blow up his car. The cuts and bruises she had gotten were for him and all he had done was treat her badly again. He felt like a heel. He would apologize later. He had gone home to find Leslie still there. After everything that had happened that day he was emotionally drained. He couldn't think straight. He began kissing Leslie with a fierceness that surprised even him. And then the bomb fell. While they were passionately kissing and groping each other, he had moaned. "Oh, Amanda!" The air became so cold he shivered even now just thinking about it. He had hesitatingly looked into the hurt eyes of Leslie knowing it was over. What a slime ball he was. Here he was dating this incredibly gorgeous and wonderful woman, leading her on, and all he could think about was Amanda! Damn it! Looking back now he was thankful that Leslie was more mature than him. He had cringed from the slap he knew he deserved but never came. Instead she had just looked at him with tears in her eyes and then turned and gathered her things and went to the door. At the door, with her hand on the knob, she had quietly said, "Amanda is one incredible but unlucky lady to have captured your heart. I wish her luck. Goodbye, Lee." With that the door had closed with a softness that hurt. He deserved to have had it slammed, it would have been better if it had. Somehow her quietness hurt even more. Leslie even recognized something he was never before willing to admit to his conscious mind. Amanda had captured his heart. He cared deeply for her, he had for a long time now. He just wasn't willing to admit it to himself. Amanda was normal and he was a loner. What would a housewife see in him, besides his good looks and his job. He realized now why he was dating Leslie. She was beautiful, kind, sensitive, gentle and a brunette. Everything Amanda was. She was an Amanda substitute. He had run so long from the truth of his feelings. He could run no more. The stark reality was staring him in the face with all its raw truth. With a groan he had sunk to his knees as the reality of the situation hit him. He knew Amanda had had feelings for him but he knew he had pushed her away, afraid of the emotions that coursed through him every time he was with her. He had pushed her away for a long time especially this last week, perhaps over the limit this time. Would she forgive him this time? He wanted nothing more than to have her put her arms around him and say she forgave him for the way he had treated her, for what he had done with Leslie. Why couldn't he tell her his feelings for her? His damn pride, that's why. Well, he had had enough of it. He was going to go over to Amanda's house right now and set things straight. He was going to apologize to her and make that hurt in her eyes and in his heart go away. This was uncharted territory but he had to start somewhere. What if Amanda didn't feel the same way? What if she rejected him? He didn't want to hurt the strong relationship that had taken them over 2 years to build. He would never know unless he took a chance. Yes, he was willing to risk their relationship on hopes for a deeper one. The more he thought about it the more the energy coursed through his veins. For once he was unafraid to see his future. His future with Amanda. Maybe he would ask her out on a date, a little red wine, steak and baked potato, just the two of them. No shop talk. He was excited to see where this relationship could go. With that, he started his car and drove to a little suburb in Arlington happier than he could remember ever being.
Amanda rushed home after the debriefing. She was glad that Lee was not around when she finished her debriefing. She knew she needed to get away from him and sort out her feelings. Seeing Leslie had been quite a shock. For one thing she was nothing like the floozies that Lee normally dated. She was kind and gentle and not at all threatened by the fact that Amanda was there. Amanda actually liked her. Looking back now at Lee's behavior over the past week and couple that with Leslie only spelled one thing. Lee was growing up and his choice in his girlfriend was not one Amanda could argue with. He genuinely liked Leslie and she had just barely met her. She would be good for Lee. Amanda was glad that Lee had found someone like Leslie. She just couldn't see him. Maybe she could request a transfer when she got back. Maybe. She said a silent prayer to God thanking him for her mothers new boyfriend, Hunter Conrad, with the yacht. He had invited the whole family on a trip to the Bahamas. The family had not had a vacation in a long time and the boys were simply thrilled. Dotty was excited too. The lingerie she had gotten for the trip made Amanda blush. It was so hard to think of her mom that way. She smiled as she recalled her mothers last words to her three days ago.
"Now listen Amanda, I know you have to finish up this project you are working on but you had better come. IFF has been working you too much lately and you need a vacation. I don't mind watching the boys for a little while but I want some alone time with Hunter. The sooner you get there the happier I will be. I didn't get that Rebecca's Fantasy's lingerie to read in if you get my drift." Amanda had been speechless. The boys had only cheered her on. "Way to go grandma!" Where were they learning those things? Her boys sure were growing up fast. She missed her family so bad. They had left 4 days ago. She had promised her mother she would be there this weekend and not to worry. Amanda grabbed the suitcase she had packed and locked up the house. She drove to the pier where the seaplane waited to take her to her mother and boys just missing the silver Corvette that pulled up to her house just five minutes later. She missed her boys terribly, especially this week. Having to deal with the pain Lee was causing and not to have anyone to come home to made it even harder. Well, she would be with them in a matter of hours. She got out of the car and grabbed her suitcase and went to the little office where she was to meet the pilot.
The moment she walked in she could tell something was wrong. The secretary was in tears and the pilot was grief stricken.
"I'm afraid we have some bad news," the pilot said gently. She could see it was a strain for him to talk.
Panic seized Amanda's heart. "What's happened?" The pilot looked away with tears in his eyes. "Please tell me!" Amanda pleaded.
The pilot cleared his throat and with a thick voice told her what had happened. There had been a terrible and unexpected storm the day before. "It came out of nowhere. Your mother and sons where on the yacht out at sea when it struck. Many islands were affected and lost all power. Many ships were damaged. There was an eyewitness that saw Hunter's yacht in a certain area that was strongest hit by the storm and nowhere near any island. We just finished our search…"
"Maybe they're still alive! They could have been rescued by a passing ship. They could have swam to a nearby island. They could have been…" Amanda was frantic, hysterical, rambling even trying to make the pain go away. The look on the pilots face spoke of no hope.
"Mrs. King!" the pilot shouted. He grabbed her by the shoulders to stop her tirade. "They found the ship. Or what was left of the ship. It had been struck by lightning and sank nowhere near any island even close enough to swim to. They found this…"
Amanda gently took the lifejacket that was handed to her with Phillip's name on it. She wasn't seeing this. She wasn't here. This was not happening. Wake up Amanda. Wake up! Please be a dream. Please let this whole week be a dream. I am going to wake up in my bed and hear the boys arguing over the toast and smell the coffee her mother always made in the morning. The pilot continued to talk saying they found the remains of the life boat among the wreckage. Amanda couldn't take anymore. She wordlessly turned and left. She was numb. She couldn't feel anything. She could not even cry. Why couldn't she cry?
The pilot shook his head and watched with a heavy heart the woman who had stood before him as she made her way to the pier. He watched as she sat on a bench and just stared out to sea. Though his loss was deep he knew hers was deeper still. Hunter Conrad had been his Uncle. He had even been named after him, but she had just lost her whole life. His heart ached for her. He grabbed a blanket and went out to join her. She had no one now, he knew she was divorced. His uncle had said as much when he spoke of them. His uncle genuinely seemed to love that woman, Dotty. All he could talk about was her and the boys and this woman, Amanda. He sat down next to her and put the blanket around her. He held her as tears streamed down his cheeks. What saddened him even more was the look on the woman's face. It was as if she was dead herself. He knew she needed to grieve her own way and a loss like hers would take some time.
They sat there like that for several hours, neither speaking. Hunter looked down at this woman and squeezed her. That was when he noticed the blood on her pants. It was coming from her tightly squeezed hands.
"Mrs. King." She did not answer. "Mrs. King." Hunter was getting worried now. "Please give me your hand." She allowed him to take her hand and pry it open. Her nails had dug holes into her palms. It wasn't too bad. "Come with me and let's take care of your hands."
Amanda got up and mindlessly allowed him to lead her to the office. She just stood there as the man washed and wrapped her hands. He offered to take her home. Home. Did she even have a home anymore? The only people that ever loved her were at the bottom of the ocean. She snapped out of her reverie. "No, I can manage myself. Thank you for your help. I will be fine."
Amanda drove for hours going nowhere in particular. She just knew she couldn't go home, not now anyway. Without her children and mother she had no home. Even the thought of Lee brought only pain. She had no one now. No even a friend to turn to. She found a little bed and breakfast near her house and checked in. She went to her room, shut the door and lay on the bed and wished she were dead too. She had just lost her mother, her two boys and Lee. There just didn't seem to be anything left to live for. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a fitful sleep full of disturbing dreams.
Lee was a nervous wreck. Coming over here was a big step. He didn't know what he was going to say or how he would say it. He only knew he needed to see her and apologize. He would ask her to dinner and they could enjoy an evening with no "shop talk". He had no idea how he would let her know how he felt, he only knew that it was forward. He would just have to feel the situation. They were best friends, after all. They had made it through worse. The hours dragged by. Lee checked his watch. It was after midnight. She should be here already. A sudden fear gripped him. What if she was hurt worse than he thought at the warehouse tonight when she had taken that other guy out? What if she was at the hospital? He grabbed his car phone and called Billy.
"Billy, do you know where Amanda is? Is she okay?"
Billy pulled himself from his sleep and heard the worry in Lee's voice. "Lee, calm down, she is gone. She left for a few days vacation. She will be back on Wednesday. Now go get some sleep. I know I need it after tonight."
Relief flooded over Lee followed by a sadness. She was gone and he wouldn't see her for four days. "Where did she go?" He had to know. Maybe he could go to her and be with her.
"Sorry, Lee, she asked me not to tell you. You understand? Need to know and all that. Good night, Scarecrow."
Before Lee could protest and demand that Billy tell him Billy had hung up. He knew it would be pointless to pursue the matter. He hung his head and drove home. At least he would see her Wednesday. With that thought he closed his eyes and dreamed of Amanda. His Amanda.
"Noooooooooo!" The terrified maid heard the scream and rushed to the office to tell the manager.
Amanda reached out and grabbed her sons hands. The wind was blowing fiercely and the rain pelted her skin. It stung her but it felt good. It felt good. Her grip was slipping. She couldn't hold on to them. Her mothers anguished cry came next and she looked up to see her slip beneath the water. She struggled to keep her grip but she couldn't. "Hold on! I'm coming. Don't leave me! Please don't leave me!." The next face she saw was Lee's. She wasn't on the ocean anymore. She was on one side of a fizzure that kept getting wider and wider. Lee was on the other side and she couldn't reach him. Then he turned and left with someone. "Don't leave me!" she sobbed, don't leave me. She sank to her knees. They hit the ground hard. It felt good. The pain shot up through her legs but it felt good. It felt good.
She was roughly shaken awake. She slowly opened her eyes and looked into the concerned face of a kindly old man. "Who are you?" she asked.
"My name is Gerald. I am the manager here. Do you know where you are?" Gerald was worried. He had banged on this woman's door for 5 minutes and she had not responded. All she did was scream. He had gotten out his key for her room and let himself in to help her. He could tell she had been through something traumatic. Her eyes were void of something, he couldn't tell but they were filled with pain just a few moments ago. Her cry had been heart rending too. "Can I help you?"
Amanda slowly gathered her wits about her. She was in a bed and breakfast about 30 miles out of Arlington, VA where she lived. Where she lived with her mom and two boys. No, They were gone. She waited for the grief and pain to engulf her but nothing came. The only pain she felt was the throbbing of her hand where she had cut herself with her nails. She traced the outline of the bandage. Suddenly she knew what she had to do. She got up, thanked Gerald and left the room. She paid her bill and went to her car.