How Much I Love You – Chapter 1
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(Yeah) Hey
That's how much I love you (yeah)
That's how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do
Make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for awhile
(No..)
After being rejected by Grissom, Sara couldn't help but drown her sorrows. She went home alone like usual and drank some beers, alone as usual. She just wanted to be mad at Grissom, but every time she thought about how mad she was she could see his smiling face. Then she would forget all about it. She hated how he had such a hold on her and he didn't even realize it. If he would just admit that he had feelings for her then maybe they could be together and she wouldn't hate herself for loving him so much.
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But you won't let me
You upset me girl
Then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget
That I was upset
Can't remember what you did
But I hate it
Immediately after rejecting Sara's invitation to dinner Grissom regretted it. He went home and had a glass of scotch before he went to bed. He was never one for drowning in his sorrows. He had one glass and went to bed and tried hard to forget it ever happen. But this wouldn't go away. As sleep finally found Grissom he went back to when he first met Sara. It was at his seminar. She was the cute, intelligent, brunette that kept asking questions. In his dream he saw all the coffee and dinner "dates" they had. While he slept a smile crept up on his face. Since it was a dream though something changed. Just before he left for Vegas he got in a fight with Sara. He dropped her off at her apartment and even though he was mad at her he still walked her to her door. Before she went in her apartment she kissed him passionately and his heart melted. They proceed and went in her apartment and then he woke up to the buzzing of his alarm clock. He shut off the alarm clock and rolled to the other side of bed. He realized it was all a dream. He sighed and got in the shower and ready for the night at work. He decided he would avoid Sara as much as possible. He felt really bad about rejecting her invitation to dinner.
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You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long, that's wrong
Sara noticed the next shift that Grissom was avoiding her. So she made an effort to appear just to see him cringe. He was only making her madder by avoiding her. When he finally came to his senses a couple of shifts later and asked her to dinner she couldn't help but forgive him. She hated how easy that was for her to do. It shouldn't work that way. She shouldn't' be able to go from wanting to kill him one moment to totally forgetting everything happened and going to dinner with him the next moment. She wondered if tonight was the night something would change. Did Grissom finally come to his senses? Would she still have to hate herself for loving him so much anymore?
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But I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore you
Grissom's plan to avoid Sara didn't work very well. If he didn't know better he would have guessed that she was trying to show up everywhere that night. A couple shifts later Grissom gave in. He asked Sara to dinner and hoped he wasn't too late already. He wasn't. When the bill arrived for their meal Sara reached for it as if it was an instinct. She was used to eating alone. She was going to pay for her half anyway. Grissom reached for it at the same time though. In that subtle moment that their hands grazed each other they both felt electricity flowing through their bodies. "I got it covered," said Grissom as he picked up the bill and looked into Sara's eyes across the table. Their eyes locked and stayed that way for a little while until Grissom looked away to look at the bill. Grissom took Sara back to the lab to get her vehicle and on his ride home he decided he never wanted to fight with Sara anymore. He was starting to hate the feelings he felt for Sara.
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And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (Ooh)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so..
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And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Grissom went home and reflected on the dinner "date" he just had with Sara. He laughed at how stupid he was to wait. He remembered how she laughed at some of his stupid jokes and her laugh made him laugh. He wondered if she realized how much power she held over him. He couldn't help but smile when she was in the room even if it was for only a split second. He knew he had to do something else with her. He couldn't just continue to take her to dinner. But what could he do next with her? Does she even still want to do stuff with him after this dinner "date"? Those thoughts could wait until later. He was tired now so he went to bed.
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Sad and it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
Sara drove herself home and when she walked into her apartment she broke down. She finally had a "date" with Grissom and she still wanted more. She hated how she was feeling. She felt selfish but she really felt like she needed Grissom in her life to make her whole. She wondered if the dinner "date" was a one-time thing or if it would ever happen again. She didn't keep her hopes up. After all it was Gil Grissom he is unpredictable. Sara was so tired but she couldn't sleep. She ended up crying herself to sleep like most nights because she kept wondering what would happen next and only thought about how Grissom could've been just being nice to her tonight. She hated how she doubted the relationship that she had once thought was starting with him.
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And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah.. yeah)
And I hate how much I love you girl (ooh)
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so..
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TBC.. There's more to this song so there is more to the story. Keep reading and please review.