Okay, this popped into my head with such force while I was making yummy parmesan noodles that I had to halt everything (except making and consuming noodles) to write it. Maybe this will get me out of my recent funk.
Otulia: We don't own Excel Saga.
Nightmare
"It has come to my attention that there is a secret organization trying to overthrow the peace we have worked so hard to achieve here in F city."
"It has come to my attention that word of our organization has leaked out to those who are responsible for the corruption of F city."
"So far, they have not met with much success, but have managed to cause mayhem and destruction on several occasions."
"Those who have learned of our existence are responsible for our many failures, and the destruction that has resulted from those failures is on their shoulders."
"You all have a new job today. A very important one at that."
"Agents, you have a new mission, of utmost importance."
"Seek out and destroy this organization, known as ACROSS."
"Find and destroy our enemies. Protect ACROSS."
"Senpai," Hyatt said weakly, "If I may ask, why are we standing in the street wearing our uniforms?"
"Because, Hat-chan," Excel replied energetically, "We have to find these mysterious people who want nothing more than to kill us and overthrow Ilpalazzo-sama's wonderfully secret ideological organization, ACROSS, and since Excel's not really all that good at being sneaky and learning things, and you tend to die at the least opportune moments, the best way to find out who these mysterious people are is to lure them into the open by wearing our ACROSS uniforms among the ignorant masses!"
"O-oh," Hyatt said before promptly crumpling to the ground.
Excel blinked at her friend, lying on the sidewalk with a rivulet of blood seeping from her mouth, before promptly ignoring her and returning to scanning the people walking by for suspicious behavior. After about an hour of this, Hyatt had come around and struggled to her feet, and Excel…she was just bored.
The sun's heat really was getting to Hyatt. If she had the strength she might have glared angrily at it, complained, and perhaps asked if they could find a shadier place to stand. But that was more Excel's department. So instead, she came up with a simpler idea. "Senpai, perhaps the enemy is currently trying to locate our underground base."
Excel's eyes widened. "You're right, Hat-chan! We have to intercept them! To the sewers!" She grabbed Hyatt and proceeded to drag her to the nearest manhole.
Hyatt smiled inwardly. What a wonderful way to reach shelter from the sun's rays without any work on her part. And with that thought in her mind, she happily passed out.
"Tell me again why we're wandering through the sewers?" Iwata groaned.
"To destroy an organization that's supposedly down here," Watanabe replied irritably.
Wonder if any such organization actually exists…Sumiyoshi wrote.
"Hat-chan, are you sure they're down here?" Excel whined. They had been randomly wandering the sewers for hours, and her stomach had started growling loudly.
"Perhaps we should have brought Menchi along," Hyatt suggested softly, coming out of her ninth death-stupor of the day. At the rate she was going, she'd have a new record by nightfall.
"Ayasugi-san?"
At the sound of that familiar voice, Excel whirled around, while Hyatt took her sweet time in turning to face their visitor.
"EH?!?!?!" Excel shouted, pointing agitatedly. "You're those guys who live next door to us!!!"
Sure enough, Watanabe, Iwata, and Sumiyoshi were standing there in their civil servant uniforms, in the middle of the sewer.
Ignoring Excel's outburst, Watanabe stepped forward. "Ayasugi-san, what are you doing in a place like this?"
"Excel-senpai and I are on a mi-" Excel took this precise moment to interrupt her with an energetic ramble.
"Excel thinks you should tell us what you're doing down here instead, and wonders slightly why you always seem to show up whenever one of our missions fail, and this sparks an idea, but Excel doesn't quite know what it is yet, and by a vote of fifty-seven brain cells to thirty-three, and ten undecided, I conclude that you must be the ones looking for the secret base of ACROSS in order to destroy it!"
How did she know about that? Sumiyoshi wrote impassively.
"As a matter of fact, ladies, we are looking for ACROSS," Iwata piped up, unthinking as usual. "For you see, it is an organization bent on disrupting the peace of society, and as civil servants, it is our duty to preserve that peace. If you'd like, you can join us."
Watanabe's eyes lit up. "Yes, Ayasugi-san, please, help us destroy ACROSS. We've determined that their secret base is in these sewers, and we'll attack as soon as we locate it."
Hyatt blinked slowly at him. "But, Watanabe-san, I can't help you destroy ACROSS."
"Why not?"
Excel finally caught up with her brain and started jumping around and pointing excitedly in the background, chanting, "We found them! We found them! We found them! Wait…did he just say they're going to attack our base?"
"Excel-senpai and I are loyal members of ACROSS, and our current mission is to destroy ACROSS's enemies," Hyatt explained slowly.
"Wait…you mean they're the ones we've been looking for?" Iwata asked.
And they've been living next door to us all this time… Sumiyoshi sweat-dropped.
Still in the background, Excel pondered aloud, "But Ilpalazzo-sama is all alone in the base…"
Watanabe was speechless…well, just for a moment. Then he began spluttering. "But, ACROSS is an evil organization! You must have been tricked into working for them!"
"HEY! ACROSS IS NOT EVIL!" Excel huffed, steam billowing off her head. "Ilpalazzo-sama started ACROSS in order to purge the world of corruption, and make everything good and right for the ignorant masses!"
"I assure you, Watanabe-san, I joined ACROSS of my own free will," Hyatt assured.
From that point, everything went fuzzy. Or blurry. Or wavy. Or a hundred other things, but you get the point. The next thing Excel knew, Watanabe had snapped, and was pointing a gun at Hyatt while Iwata and Sumiyoshi began sidling away as quietly as possible. Tears formed in the poor, confused man's eyes and his arms shook visibly. "It can't be true," he muttered broken-heartedly.
Then things went from unclear back to normal, just in time for Watanabe's finger to slip on the trigger. Hyatt fell over backward with her usual graceful style, blood seeping from the hole in her chest. The gun fell with a clatter, and Excel decided now would be a good time to drag her junior officer back to the surface and await her return to life.
Excel was starting to worry. Hyatt was lying dead in the hospital. Again. Normally, she would've awoken by now. She was resilient. Excel poked her. "Hey, Hat-chan, come on back to life now, alright? You need to be alive so we can give our report to Ilpalazzo-sama, so he can prepare for the attack…"
Still no response. "Excel knows what will help! You still have that medicine you never take, right?" Without a second thought, she reached into Hyatt's pocket and pulled out the bottle of medication and proceeded to pour some down the dead girl's throat.
Still nothing.
"Hat-chan…"
Excel's eyes began to water.
Nothing was happening.
Slowly, she began to realize the truth.
Hyatt wasn't going to wake up this time.
"Hail, Ilpalazzo…" Excel said sadly, mentally preparing to deliver the terrible news.
"Excel, where is agent Hyatt?" Ilpalazzo asked.
Fighting back tears, she answered as calmly as she could, "Hat-chan and I located the enemy, but one of them shot her, and…and…she died for good this time." Her voice almost gave out on her, but she willed herself to continue. She had to warn Ilpalazzo of the impending attack. "But we were able to discover that the enemy plans to-"
"You allowed Hyatt to be killed?!" Ilpalazzo suddenly shouted.
"But…but…" Excel spluttered.
The rope lowered down from the ceiling. "As of this moment," he said darkly, his hand reaching for the dreaded tassel, "you, Excel, are no longer a member of ACROSS." He pulled on the rope.
The floor opened up beneath Excel. She grabbed for the edge of the hole as she fell. Her fingers slipped. Her mind went into a panic as air rushed past her. She had just been fired. She would no longer be able to serve Ilpalazzo. She would never see him again. She shook her head. No! She had to warn him! Nothing mattered as long as he escaped from the enemy!
By the time she managed to climb back out of the hole, her worst fears had been realized. She could hear shouting from above, a flurry of footsteps, and struggling. The enemy had already infiltrated the base! She had to help Ilpalazzo!
With a desperate pull, she heaved herself back out onto the floor and leapt to her feet. Iwata, Watanabe, and Sumiyoshi were surrounding Ilpalazzo, weapons drawn. Her eyes met his. And then…he fell lifeless to the floor.
"NO! ILPALAZZO-SAMA!!!!"
Iwata turned to her and smirked. "Thanks for leading us here…"
Excel sat up with a start, drenched in sweat and disoriented. Her heart beating rapidly, she dimly realized that she was in a bed much too comfortable to be her own.
"What's the matter, Excel?"
She jerked her head around sharply, and her eyes landed on Ilpalazzo, sitting in a comfortable chair across the room. Slowly, her mind cleared, and she realized it had all been a dream. Just a really bad dream. She had fallen asleep while on prolonged mission, in which she and Ilpalazzo had, out of lack of anyone else suited for the job, gone undercover as a couple. Ilpalazzo was not about to let Key anywhere near his officers again, and Hyatt died far too often for the part.
At the thought of Hyatt dying, her nightmare returned full force, but she pushed it aside and forced a smile. "Excel just had a bad dream. Nothing you need to worry about, Ilpalazzo-sama!"
He regarded her carefully. Under normal circumstances, he would have just returned to the engaging novel he was reading, but this mission was of utmost importance, and if Excel's mind was troubled, she was likely to mess up in one way or another. He had no choice, really; he needed to reassure her.
"If it will ease your mind, you may tell me about it," he said, hoping he wasn't about to be bombarded with utter nonsense.
Excel grew somber. "It was really scary," she whispered, pulling her knees to her chest. "You sent us on a mission to find and destroy an enemy that was out to destroy ACROSS. And we found out that the enemy was really the annoying idiots who live next door to Excel and Hat-chan, and they were going to attack our underground base. But…Hat-chan…she died for real…and when Ilpalazzo-sama found out, he fired Excel from ACROSS and dropped her down the hole before she could warn him of the attack. And when I got out of the pit, they were already there, and one of them…and you…and…" She burst into tears and couldn't continue. Ilpalazzo, who had migrated to sitting on the bed next to her, was concerned.
"You dreamt about the downfall of ACROSS?" he asked, somewhat gently.
She shook her head sadly and managed to blurt out, "I dreamed that you died because they followed me to the base without my knowing it…"
Ilpalazzo was unable to respond. The only sound in the room came from Excel's crying. How he hated it when she cried. He could hardly process what she had just said. She was this upset because she had dreamt of his death? And in her dream, it was her fault? Without fully realizing what he was doing, he gathered her into a comforting embrace.
"Don't cry, Excel," he whispered in her ear. "It was only a dream."
GAH! SIX PAGES! For an idea that hit me like a Mac truck while I was cooking! Amazing! Hope ya'll enjoyed! Please review!