Preface

BPOV

How could it be possible that the person I've loved all my life is no longer here? A part of me still believes that he is still here, holding me in his arms but it was just a lie I tell myself every day to cover the pain in my hollow heart. I've had reasons to hate him until I found out about his death. How can I possibly hate him now that he's gone, knowing I've loved him since the first time I laid eyes on him. If only I could go back in time and change the last words I said to him in the heat of the moment not really meaning what I said. If I did maybe he would still be here telling me how much he loves me and cares about me, and I would be doing the same. I would forgive everything he's done if he would just come back, that's all I wanted him to be here. I wouldn't even care if he refused to get back with me. I would be okay with watching him from afar. I remember the day everything ended as if it were yesterday, the day he broke my heart and the day I took his life. Something I regret every single day of my life.

Chapter 1: Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

BPOV

I had just finished wrapping his birthday present and was on my way to surprise him. I had a huge smile on my face because I couldn't wait to see the look on Andrew's face after he unwrapped his gift. I was a little nervous though, what if he didn't like it? I quickly pushed that thought away from my mind because Andrew's not like that he'd be happy with anything.

As I was walking through the hallway I overheard his friends talking, "Hey man, I can't believe Andrew did that to Bella, didn't he say he loved her?" I quickly leaned against the wall listening to the conversation intently.

What are they talking about? What did Andrew do so his friends would think that he doesn't love me anymore? I wanted to ask what was going on, but I knew they wouldn't tell me anything, instead I kept on listening hoping to find out what they were talking about.

"Well now we know he doesn't love her because if he did he wouldn't have done this to her. I mean that damn girl is pregnant now! I wonder if he's ever going to tell her, probably just pretend nothing ever happened. I really hope he finds a way out of this because Bella really cares about him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about her. Well I'm not so sure about his feelings for her after this…."

Pregnant? As I heard that, my eyes started to fill up with tears. I got out of my hiding spot and managed to say

"Andrew…girl…pregnant?"

The guys looked up in horror.

"No…uhh…Bella, it's not what you think-"

"Yeah we were talking about another Andrew." The guy next to him reassured me.

"Who's girlfriend is also named…Bella?"

The guys both looked at each other and then at the ground in silence. They had given up they couldn't have possibly convince me that it was not my Andrew they were talking about.

I clutched his present in my hands just about to smash it on the wall hoping to break it and with that end this...nightmare, but instead I threw it on the ground. I wanted to leave him in the past. Runaway from anything that reminded me of him, my memories were all I could handle at the moment. They were never going to go away. I ran as fast as I could not knowing where I was going I just wanted to find a place where no one would find me, were I could be alone and cry my heart out without anyone asking me what's wrong.

As I was running away I heard the guys say

"Dude we really fucked up this time."

"Yeah Andrew is going to kill us."

All I kept thinking as I ended up running into the forest was, please let it all be a nightmare, please let me open my eyes to find myself in my room.

When I reached the forest I fell onto the grass with tears rolling down my cheeks. Damn tears always betray me. Of course why would they stop? My heart had just been shattered into a million pieces. All I could do as I laid in the grass was remember all the good times I had with him. I tried to think of a reason as to why he would do such a thing. He said he loved me that he would never hurt me. So many promises and yet they were so easily broken the moment I overheard those guys.

The only explanation was that everything was lies. How can someone who loves you, who doesn't want to hurt you cause you so much pain? He obviously doesn't love me. I knew it all along I just denied it to myself because the boy of my dreams had finally told me he loved me too.

I looked up at the sky. There were no stars in sight when yesterday it had looked like someone had poured a huge bottle of glitter in the night sky. It was almost as if the sky knew what was going on in my life. I looked all around hoping to find a tiny light of hope reassuring me of a better tomorrow but I was surrounded in pure darkness. Ironically I heard myself laugh. I was laughing at myself for believing this could ever work out.

How could I have been so stupid to believe he loved me? It was all too good to be true. I wasn't anything special and well he was beyond special he could probably get any girl in the whole damn planet if he wanted to. I was just your average teenage girl that had once wished every night at 11:11 for someone like him to show up and sweep me off my feet.

Seriously, was I ever going to be able to get over this? I am not going to keep crying over someone who cheated on me. I sat up and wiped some tears away. I had to become stronger than this. My mom once told me that a boy who breaks my heart isn't worth a single tear.

I looked up at the sky, sorry mom, I can never possibly be as strong as you. But I promise you this will be the last time I cry over a boy. I imagined the sky filled up with stars like the night he asked me to be his girlfriend and ever since then we would come here. He would love coming up here to the forest to just lay next to me all cuddled up talking about everything that was on our minds. Had everything that had happened with him been all a dream, a beautiful dream, that I was just now waking up from?

The rest of the day just kept going on and on for what seemed like eternity until midnight finally hit. During that time I felt my phone vibrate several times the first few calls were from him. I stopped caring who it was and popped out the battery. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I was still in shock. I kept rolling from side to side on the forest floor. I couldn't even cry myself to sleep.

My mind had been blank the whole night I hadn't slept at all. The sun finally came up, there was the light of hope I needed but when I stood up to look over at the sun it wasn't it's usual self it looked gloomy. And even though it was beaming with huge rays straight at me it appeared lifeless. The light didn't have the affect on me I was hoping for.

I still needed more time. I couldn't go back now. I couldn't stop crying, even worse confront him. I knew it had to be done sooner or later...I preferred sooner. I could get it over and done with faster. I promised myself that I would confront him today and not a day later. Hopefully if it was sooner it would shorten the pain and make it bit more bearable.

Pregnant? The word kept echoing in my head. Every time it did I could feel a piece of my heart shatter into a million more pieces. There were so many things I wanted to ask Andrew, but the one that kept coming back was who did he get pregnant?

Note from the author:

Hello this is my second story on fanfic. This was actually the first story I ever wrote with intentions of posting it up on here but I posted it as the second because it was going through some editing. You should've seen how tiny the chapter was when I first wrote it lol. It was only about 2 pages on microsoft and now it's ten I think. Thanks to the help of my super awesome best friend who added sentences and edited so it could be longer :) Even so it's still pretty short but don't worry the next ones get longer. Anyways I hope you liked this chapter and are anxious to know what's going to happen next because it does get better well at least I think it does. ^_^ Let me know what you think so I can post up chapter 2 soon. Thanks. bye.

-Karina :)