i dont understand them..

how they can be so happy

i have only trusted one person in all my life...

i remember when me and her first met..

i was only 14

i wanted to run away from everything...

and so i ran

i got out to the lighthouse and there she was..

the sun glistened off herlight blonde hair..

she was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen in my life..

well i couldnt keep my eyes of her and made a fool of myself.

laughs a little i remember how embaressed i was when she seen me starring..

she smiled and asked if i needed help..

and i just studered out

"u-uhh umm n-no thank you i-iam fine thanx

i started walking again and she stopped me..

she asked where i was going and so i told her i was running away..

but ofcourse someone as pretty as she was is talked me out of it.

laughs a little she told me to stay because she wanted to get to know me.

i just smiled and nodded.

then she said

"well my name hytzunishi."

that summer me and her hung out a lot, we did everything together.

it was nice haveing such a good friend like that.

i didnt realize it at the time but as time went on i started to fall for her

she made me feel wanted..

made me feel needed.

then one day i decided to tell her how i felt..

i got down to the beach where she would spend a lot of her time at..

i got there and i found her lyeing on the ground..

i knelt down and lifted her head up.

she looked up at me and smiled with tears in her eyes..

i asked her what happened and she told me

"there was a...a t-rex..headed for the orphanage..i didnt want you hurt..so i stayed and faught.."

i told her i was sorry.

that i should have been here earlier for her..

she just put her hand on my lips and stopped my words.

in her hand was a ring.

she put it on my finger and told me that i can keep that to remember her by..

as tears rolled off my face i yelled out..

"no! u cant leave me! i love you!!"

she smiles and whispered into my ear..

"im glad..i thought i was the only one...i love you too"

she said

then her eyes closed softly..

and she was gone.

after that i found it pointles to ever trust or love again..

that is why im not very nice to rinoa...

rinoa reminds me so much of her..

and it scares me..scares me to think that there is someone like that.

that can make me feel the same way as i fealt about her..

after she died..

i always would say to myself

"why do people depend on eachother? In the end, we're all on our own"

that has been my moto up until now..

now everything has changed for me..

all my view about life..

have vanished..