(A/N: This is my very first fan fiction but please feel free to review because all I want is honesty. If you hate it say so and let me know how I can improve my writing. If you like it, still feel free to give me some suggestions on what I could do differently. The background behind this story comes from where Vivian is shot in the abdomen. Since the bullet of course is silver it damaged well in my story her uterus,so it is going to take some time to heal. Even if she healed there is a chance she still could not conceive children. Now enough with the A/N…please enjoy).
Gabriel POV
I walked through the door of the house Vivian and I share here in Vermont. We thought moving in general would be best for the pack especially after what happened in Maryland. "Viv" I called throughout the house trying to find her but she is nowhere to be found. I walked slowly to our bedroom door and turning the knob hoping that she is asleep in our bed. I open the door to see an empty bed. While looking around the rest of the room, I noticed that the dresser drawers were open and that her clothes were missing. Sitting on top of the dresser was an envelope with my name on it. I opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of folded paper. I begin to read….
Gabriel,
How can I even put my true feelings into a conversation I would have with you? I am so sorry for holding you back and I truly cannot give you everything you truly want and need. I wish things were not so complicated but it is and it truly sucks. Believe me I really do not wish to cause you sorrow and it has nothing to do with all of the responsibilities we face each day. I can handle all of the responsibilities as "Queen Bitch" but I can't personally live to the standards of being your mate. I am really dysfunctional and I never meant for all the things that happened in Maryland. I never really expected things with Aiden to go that far and then all drama was revealed with Rafe and Astrid. I feel horrible about writing this but it is better for the both of us and the pack. I could never truly be the alpha female Gabriel and me becoming your wife would not solve the real problem. I know you think that it is not your fault why I can't give us "pups" but I truly am the reason why. I was stupid in Maryland and I should have been more careful and then none of this would destroy us as mates and as a pack. This hurts me more than you will ever know and I admit that at first I lied about not wanting to be your mate. The truth is that I want "pups" and you are the dominant alpha male, and you are suppose to have "pups" and I can't give them to you because of that night in Maryland when Aiden shot me. I am also sorry for making this situation seem like it was no big deal before, but it is a very serious situation that cannot be avoided. Gabriel I wish you and the pack the best of luck. Tell them goodbye for me because I cannot bring myself to face them any longer and tell my mom not to worry, that I will be ok. I know you and I know that you will not obey but it is worth a shot so "Do Not Come Searching for Me" and Gabe find someone you could fall in love with, get married, mate and have "pups". Find that person and let her give you the things I couldn't. I honestly do love you and that is why I decided to leave because you need to get what you truly deserve.
Love Always,
Vivian
As I read the letter she left me, I felt pain radiating in my chest. Many thoughts crossed my mind. Why now? How could she do this to me? She really does love me? She knew that I would not obey and she is right because I am going to gather my boys and go find her. I know that she thinks I deserve better, but I don't want better I want perfect and perfect is Vivian. So we can't have a child that's fine as long as I get my Vivian back. Vivian is still healing and our pack doc says possibly that we could have children in the future. She is focused on the here and now and I wonder if she has ever thought about a future truly with me. That is why I have to find her because I want to have all of the possibilities the future holds with Vivian, and there is no other woman I would want to spend this life with.
We have been searching for her for hours and still have not found her. Where could she be? It does not matter where she is because I will not stop until I find her. I seriously cannot believe that she thought the pack would hate her. She is their sister and they were ready to go find their sister and bring her home where she belongs. The sun has been down for about two hours and it is really late and not to mention pitch black darkness. Vivian will use this to her advantage to complete her escape. The pack and I return home but we will continue our search tomorrow.
Vivian has been gone for two weeks now and I am really not myself. I cannot function right without her and I hope she realizes all the pain she is putting her family, friends, and me in and decides to come back home. "Please come back home Viv" I say to myself.
Vivian POV
It has been two weeks since I left home. I feel the pain in my chest and I am wondering if I made the right choice by leaving. Leaving home was difficult and felt some kind of pull trying to lead me back. While I was running away in my human form, I heard Gabriel and the guys call for me, but I kept going. I stayed in my human form because it would be harder for them to track me, and I also used the darkness to my advantage, but Gabriel knows that. I have had plenty of time to think about what I have done and all the people I have hurt. I realize that Gabriel is what I want and need.
Do to my recent thoughts, I have decided to go back home where I belong. I hope my family, friends, and Gabriel can forgive me and understand why I ran away. I am close to the house about ten minutes of walking, but I don't care for two reasons. One, I am glad to be going back home and two, the fantastic stamina that is part of the whole wolf characteristics. While walking home, I actually picture my future with Gabriel. I know that it does not matter if I give him a child, but he deserves one. As I was thinking about a child, I remembered that there was a possibility for me to have children. I just focus on healing and becoming myself again.
I am walking up the driveway towards the house wondering what will happen when I walk through the door. Will they be excited to see me and hug me, then yell or will they yell first then be happy and hug me? I am surprised that no one is outside. "Let the happiness or yelling begin," I say as I open the door and walk in. It is about six in the morning when I arrive, so I just go to the bedroom and open the door. Gabriel is asleep and I get a feeling of joy and relief. I walk over to the bed after putting my bag on the floor and climb in beside him. He stirs around a couple of times until he opens his eyes, and notices that he is not alone. The look of shock, anger, confusion, relief, and happiness are displayed upon his face. He opens his mouth and says, "Sleep now and we will figure everything out later." I relax and lay down on my side and begin to drift off to sleep. He turns over and whispers, "I love you and forgive you, but your still not in the clear" in my ear. I smile and whisper, "I love you too and I know" before I go to sleep and he laughs before he also falls asleep. I have one last thought before I find myself in a deep sleep and I know it is true because this is "where I belong and where I will always be."
Hours later we both wake up and to my surprise he does not yell at me. We talk about the reasons why I left and he understands and respects why I chose to leave. I told him that it was the worst mistake I have ever made and that it will never happen again. After our talk Gabriel and I made love before we showered and got dressed. Gabriel and I walk out of the house hand in hand as we make our way to see the rest of the pack. I just hope that they will be as understanding as Gabriel. The pack was understanding but I was told that if ever ran again that they would not be so understanding next time. I reassured them that there will be no next time. My mother on the other hand was not understanding at first, but she is a mother after all and mothers worry about their child's well being.
I hugged everyone and I mean literally everyone. That night we celebrated my homecoming and my engagement to Gabriel. I might be moving fast but what can I say, this is my true destiny and I am going to live it. I don't care about what might happen in the future because I am open to all the possibilities life throws at me. Gabriel and I are getting married and I am taking and dealing with all the problems that come with being the alpha female. I want to make sure that I make everyone happy as a leader but you never know, just like the saying" you can't please everyone". I hope one day that I can give Gabriel and I children, but I am not worried about that anymore. I am the luckiest woman on the planet because I have the best support system including all my family, friends, and Gabriel. I vow to myself that" I Vivian, will forget about the horrible things that happened in the past, live now in the present, and embrace the future whatever it may hold."
FINISHED.