Always Been You: An O.C. fanfiction
Disclaimer: The O.C. belongs to Josh Schwartz and FOX, not me. Sadly Ben Mackenzie doesn't belong to me either. Don't I wish! Bits of dialogue taken from "The Graduates."
Lyrics belong to Death Cab for Cutie
Rating: T
Pairing: Ryan/Marissa or Mack/Misch as I like to call them
Summary: A different outcome for Season 3's finale. A happier one!
Love of mine, someday you will die
But I'll be close behind and I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark."
The last thing Ryan Atwood remembered before his car flipped over the embankment was Marissa's terrified scream and his own voice telling her urgently to hold on. He didn't know how long he'd been unconscious but when he came to Marissa's safety was the first thing on his mind. Somehow Ryan managed to crawl through the debris over to Marissa. She was still unconscious and he could tell that she was badly hurt.
"Marissa?" he whispered trying in vain to rouse her. "Marissa?" he said again louder this time as he detected the scent of gasoline around them and looked away from her and spotted the source of the smell. The gas was leaking from the tank.
We've got to get out of here. Ryan thought knowing that at any moment the wrecked car around them could go up in flames. The doors were definitely and the windows were harder to get to. It seemed that the easiest escape from the overturned car was the roof so, without a second thought Ryan put his fist through the glass and crawled out.
Turning his attention to Marissa, Ryan put his hands gently under her narrow shoulders and lifted her with all the strength he had left, hoping he wouldn't hurt her. Once there was room to maneuver Ryan lifted her limp, mangled body into his arms until they both were at a safe distance from the wreckage, which was now on fire behind them.
Away from the flames, Ryan set Marissa down on the pavement, the sleeves of her white sweater hanging loose about her arms, resembling the wings of angel. He couldn't believe how light she was despite the fact that she was dead weight, it had taken almost no effort at all to carry her. Ryan sat down on the pavement behind her, and supported her head with one hand, while letting the weight of her body fall into his lap.
"Marissa?"
She didn't stir.
"Marissa?" He shook her gently, hoping the movement would bring her back to consciousness.
He looked down at her face, which had grown pale, her lips usually pink and shimmering with lip gloss were now white, almost blue, her eyes were lidded and unfocused, and a rivulet of blood ran down her temple.
Finally after a moment, Marissa slowly opened her eyes and tried to focus on the face and the voice that she'd thought had only been in her mind.
Ryan.
"Ryan?" She managed to speak his name softly and with difficulty; she found it hard to catch her breath. She reached out and was amazed at how much effort it took just to touch his shoulder.
"Okay," he said, exhaling the breath that he hadn't realized that he was holding, relieved that she was now semi-conscious.
"Okay…I'm going to get help, okay?"
"No…don't leave…she mumbled through pain, clinging desperately to the fabric of his navy blue T-shirt.
"I gotta get help." Ryan said in a comforting whisper.
"No…"
"Yeah…I gotta get help." He was reluctant to leave her but knew that he didn't have a choice.
"No…no…stay…" She pleaded with him, her voice barely above a whisper now.
"Don't leave…"
Unless…
He reached into the pocket of his jeans, and found his cell phone, which had miraculously not melted in the fire. He just prayed that it still worked.
He opened it and pressed the power button and the dial tone was music to his ears as he dialed 911 and reported their location and the accident and the fire, as Marissa lay dazed in his arms.
Ryan nodded to reassure her that he would stay as she lay there struggling for the strength to stay conscious and gasping for breath.
"Okay…hold on…" Ryan whispered, wanting to look for the ambulance but afraid to take his eyes off her, even for a fraction of a second.
Because if I do she might…No…
He wouldn't let himself think those thoughts. He couldn't lose her. Not like this… He wouldn't…lose her…ever again.
"Hold on…hold on…okay? It's gonna be okay…It's gonna be okay…It's gonna be okay…" He kept repeating over and over…a mantra…for himself and for Marissa.
Mostly for her.
Always for her.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb, promising her, "It's gonna be okay…"
He looked down at her as her breathing became more and more shallow.
Where the hell is the damn ambulance?
She opened her eyes to look at him, turning her head toward him slightly despite the effort the small movement took out of her.
"Marissa?"
He headed lolled back against his forearm, with a pained expression on her face.
"Marissa, I know it hurts, but you gotta stay with me, okay?"
She nodded weakly and her eyelids fluttered open again.
"You have to hold on…because I love you…" Ryan said through tears.
"I…love…you…too…" She gasped and reached for his hand.
He found her hand and held it tight.
"I'm sorry...for…DJ…and Volchok…and…
Her voice trailed off and he touched her cheek again sensing that she was fading.
"I wouldn't have done it any differently…just stay with me."
"Lindsey and Sadie…"
She was struggling for breath again.
"Shh,…They were just distractions…from you…I love you…I never stopped…Since the moment I saw you at the end of the driveway, I've loved you…It's always been you, Riss."
He saw her lips curl into a smile and he leaned forward to kiss her softly, careful of her injuries. The ambulance sirens could finally be heard close by and the paramedics wasted no time taking her from Ryan's arms onto a gurney.
"Ryan…don't leave me." She managed to speak despite the oxygen mask that had been placed over her nose and mouth.
"It's gonna be okay, Riss, I'm going with you. Let them take care of you."
Ryan held her hand and followed behind the gurney and jumped in the back of the ambulance stroking her hair as she fought to remain conscious on route to the hospital.
But if heaven and hell decide that they are both satisfied
And illuminate the No on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark.
Finis