The Sun Sets in the West
Ratings/Warnings: None. Wow...none. That's sad. I'm gonna go with T, though.
Summary: The night before the Ceremonial Battle, Yami goes to talk to Seto one last time. Prideshipping.
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it. I'm not making money off of it either...really, who would buy this crap?
Dedicated To: Darleneartist
Author's Notes: Wow, I don't really know what to say here. I guess that this story is going to be different because the Puzzleshippers usually write about the night before the Final Battle. This is going to be a different twist. I hope that you like it!.
The moon rose fully over the banks of the River Nile as a broad ship sailed across its gentle waves. The vessel wasn't as fancy as some of the others that might have sailed previously, but it got the job done; it fulfilled its purpose, which was to carry the Pharaoh to his final resting place: the west side of the waters.
Yami didn't like the name of 'Atem.' He knew that that was what he was supposed to be called, as that was what his mother named him, but he just could not see himself using it. He was not 'Atem' to the other people on this ship; his friends. He wasn't a Pharaoh that saved the world from destruction, even if everyone knew that now. Yami didn't want to be known as any of these things, as they didn't really feel like him. He was not that person anymore.
The only thing that Yami wanted to be…was Yugi's darkness He wanted to be Yugi's protector, and Yugi's other half. Nothing more.
After all, that was all that Yami was, when he sat in the corner of his soul room and pondered his existence: he was Yugi. Whenever Yugi needed him, he was there to save him and his friends, and then he would sink back under the surface to think some more.
Really…that was it. And now it was over.
Yugi didn't need Yami anymore; it was perhaps the most obvious thing in the Pharaoh's mind. Yugi wanted to fight this battle with his other-half because he wanted to see if he was strong enough to carry on in life on his own. To Yugi, this was the most important thing that he was ever going to do in his entire life, but Yami knew that he shouldn't have been worrying about it.
Yugi was stronger than Yami, and really, he might have always been. Yami had no problem hurting people if they got in his way; he wasn't sure if that was an instinct from what he was taught in Egypt, or if that was just how he thought, but he always did it. The Shadow Games were the way that he played; he always seemed to have an advantage. He always seemed to win.
But not Yugi; Yugi never won. Before he and Yami had come together, Yugi was always getting beaten down by people that didn't even know him. He had no friends, and the only person that really seemed to care about him was Grandpa. Anzu was there, but to Yugi, it probably wasn't the same as having a guy by his side. His only wish was to have a real friend.
And even though Yugi had no friends and seemed to be getting a new bruise or injury every day, he never gave up. He always walked around with a smile, and never resorted to self-mutilation or the desire for revenge. Yugi was the strong one, because he never wanted to hurt anyone; he always looked for the greater things in the world.
And because of that…Yugi didn't need Yami anymore. The smaller got what he deserved in life, which was friends and the courage to protect them himself, and that meant that Yami's job was done. No one needed Yami anymore…
But even that wasn't true, and maybe that was what was hurting Yami most of all: he was leaving, but someone still needed him, even if they would never admit it.
That hurt a little, too.
The walking pace of the Pharaoh's boots echoed emptily through the corridors of the ship. He wasn't walking as quickly as he wanted to, but if someone walked out into the hall from a room and he was running, then they'd definitely ask him what was wrong, and Yami didn't want anyone to know.
It never crossed his mind that they'd probably ask anyways.
Yugi's mind was sleeping soundly in his soul room; the current events of finding Yami's memories and name had taken more of a toll on him than he realized, and spending a large portion of the night creating a new deck must have toppled him over the edge. The Pharaoh watched him sleeping for a full five minutes after nit-picking through his own cards; he didn't have as much to tweak as Yugi did, then left both of their rooms in favor of walking through the halls…looking for that one conversation that would both tear his heart in half and put it back together, stronger than before.
Yami's soul room had caught his attention as he quietly left his charge's side, and it hurt when he realized that he just wanted to sleep, too. After all of this, he still felt too afraid to face his problems and fears instead of destroying or ignoring them. It was sad that after three-thousand years and all of his time with Yugi, his soul had still not changed. It was still all so uncertain.
At least he walked past it, though…that had to have counted for something. And Yami would get to sleep…he'd get to sleep forever in just a little more time.
The footsteps became quicker, less even.
Yami didn't want to die; he was afraid of what was going to happen to him. He knew…he knew that this was some sort of afterlife, but did he really believe in that? Did he really think that he'd get to be with his priests for the rest of eternity? Or would everything really be black?
…Maybe that was Yami's final journey, his real test. Even though Yami knew that he was going to lose, he was still going to fight with everything that he had, and that was easy for him. Dueling, win or lose, always came to the Pharaoh easily. Saying goodbye to it all…that was going to prove difficult.
Yami would know…in the end, the Pharaoh would know if he was ready to move on if he simply…did. For him, there were no second chances, and no ways to see if his decision was the right one. Every time Yami did something, if it was not the right choice, someone got hurt, and then Yami would have to find a way to somehow fix the problem.
But not this time; this time Yami only had one chance. If he found that he could not move on like he was supposed to, then Yugi would be hurt in a way that Yami could never fix. Yami would never get a second chance to do what he knew was right, but was almost to afraid to try.
For now, though…Yami was going to try to do something else. He was going to leave the next day, and…even if he found that he couldn't, this was still his last chance to help just one more person.
This person…Yami felt that he loved him, even if he couldn't tell him. Every time they met before in the dark or in the dead of night, nothing important was ever said. In reality…nothing important was ever done, either. Neither of them could afford a commitment, but at the same time…they both needed someone to hold and something to make themselves feel better.
The Pharaoh was just afraid that this time nothing would work.
The footsteps stopped abruptly, and Yami's crimson-violet eyes looked at a door in front of him about six feet up. He wondered if the man he was looking for was going to be awake, or even if this was his proper room.
It was, though, Yami knew.
He knocked.
Seto Kaiba sat awake on a couch, gazing at the small amounts of moonlight filtering in through the windows. He could never sleep very well, but that night was even worse than usual. Most of the time, when insomnia hit, the CEO at least felt tired. Not then, though. Now, Seto didn't even want to try to sleep. He felt like he was waiting for something.
He hated that feeling, especially when nothing ever did come. Seto had been waiting all of his life to be happy. He had been waiting forever for something to just come along and make his life worth living. Maybe he didn't deserve it, or maybe it was already there, but Seto just could not reach out and grab it.
Mokuba was the closest, and Mokuba was the reason that Seto was still breathing; he was sleeping on the bed already, tufts of black hair sticking out of the edges of the blanket that only partially covered his head. Maybe even more than Seto wanted a good life for himself, he wanted it for Mokuba.
Mokuba, Seto hoped, was enjoying life. He had friends, good grades, a home to sleep in, and food to eat.
…Yet at the same time, Seto knew that Mokuba was also hurting. He knew that the younger sibling hated being alone in their mansion with only maids and butlers to help him, and that he had no one to share the video games that sat on the shelves of his room.
But what could Seto do? He had responsibilities now and a company to run. He just wanted the best for Mokuba, even though at times like these he knew that he had failed miserably. Mokuba didn't want money…he just wanted a father, but no matter what Seto did, he couldn't give that to him.
He could only give him time…and there never seemed to be enough of it.
Seto sighed. He didn't know what to do anymore. Not too many things could even bring a smile to his face, anymore, and that was terrible because Seto could remember the days where he would smile all of the time.
Only one thing, sadly, could make Seto forget everything for just a minute, and that thing was going to leave the next day forever.
The other Yugi, or Yami, as Seto had heard him called, seemed to be the only person that made the CEO remotely happy. He was a rival first, a rival always, because he always seemed to be a test. His eyes simply burned with a constant challenge, and every time Seto fought him he felt like he was becoming a little stronger, a little more confident.
Before Yami came along Seto thought that there was nothing that he could do to improve. He could beat anyone, anytime, with barely a thought as to why he was doing it.
Yet Yami beat him every time in both strength and spirit.
It was strange that even though Yami and Yugi were the same person in body, it did not feel the same when Yugi was around. Yugi had about the same amount of skill as his other-half, but he just did not pose the same amount of skill as his darkness did. It was odd, because whenever Yami did appear, Seto felt a fire erupt in his chest:
It was a fire to defeat him and never see him again…and it was a fire to pull him close and never let him go; to be able to challenge and be challenged for the rest of his life.
Seto did not know what to make of it.
The CEO's blue eyes rose to door as someone planted a soft knock on it. Only one person would be coming to see him this late at night, as he's come before.
The teenager stood up and made his way to the door, that same fire burning in his chest.
The door opened quietly, and Yami instantly knew that Mokuba must have been sleeping on the other side. Seto cared about his brother more than he knew; Yami just wished that the other could see it himself.
The CEO's eyes were dark in the dim light of the hallway, and Yami instantly knew that before he came Seto was thinking about something that was hurting him. They never talked about their problems during these meetings, but that didn't mean that Yami didn't know what they were. He wondered if Seto knew the Pharaoh's own thoughts and feelings; he wondered if he was that obvious.
"Come on," Yami said softly, much softer than he usually spoke when he was around the CEO, "I don't want to wake up Mokuba." He grabbed the other's arm, which was covered by a black long-sleeved shirt. Seto's body temperature never seemed to change; even the hot and cold extremes of the desert didn't seem to phase him.
Seto stepped outside, and the door behind him closed without a sound. They walked down the hall together, their hands loosely entwined, not speaking, not even looking at each other. They never seemed to have much to talk about; did they have anything in common at all?
Yet there was always the magnetic attraction; it never seemed to leave.
"Yugi," Seto said, and Yami knew that the CEO was not talking about him, "Where is he?"
"Sleeping," Yami answered, "He doesn't know that I'm here."
He never did.
It hurt Yami, the Pharaoh supposed, to have to keep these meetings from Yugi, and it felt odd to have to put on a fierce face every time the man's name was mentioned. But Yugi just wouldn't understand; he knew of Seto's past just as well as Yami did, but Yugi's scars with the man went so much deeper. He had tried to harm both him and his Grandfather, and was always rude and blunt with him and all of his friends.
Yugi just didn't have the same feeling that Yami did, and it was both too complicated and too simple to try to explain to him.
So Yami kept this one secret, and this one secret alone.
They walked in silence for a while longer; the Pharaoh could feel and hear waves rocking the boat slightly, yet it wasn't enough to make him sick. He almost knew that Seto was feeling the same.
There was something else that was making Yami uneasy; he did not know if Seto would miss him when he was gone. He knew that neither of them had any sort of relationship that would account to anything in the end, but still, it meant something to the teenager. Did it mean anything to the CEO at all?
"…Kaiba," Yami said; he sounded hesitant to himself, which was something that didn't happen too often. "Tomorrow…"
At Yami's words, Seto stopped walking, and their hands lost contact. Maybe the smaller shouldn't have said anything, maybe they should have kept walking.
But what would that have accomplished? If Yami left this world having said nothing of significant importance to the other, then their fragile relationship really would have been nothing. If Yami never said anything to Seto that he could think about later, then the CEO would have no reason to miss Yami.
It all would have been for nothing.
Yami turned around; Seto was looking at him with those piercing blue eyes, something shining that Yami could neither recognize nor identify, "Kaiba?" He wasn't sure what to think.
The man didn't answer, and Yami realized that maybe Seto did care about him after all. He would never say it, and probably wasn't capable, but he did care. And Yami was going to leave him. He was going to leave the only person that needed him anymore…alone.
Finally, after a full minute of staring, Seto tilted his head and stepped forward. His voice was quiet and slow, "Why do you do that?" Their lips met and Seto pressed against Yami with his smooth lips. He grabbed the shorter duelist's shoulders and moved the two of them until Yami was against the wall. He hit it with a quiet audible thump.
Their kiss was fiery and passionate, just like always. Seto moved his hands towards Yami's chest and pressed his thumbs against Yami's nipples through his shirt. Yami moaned a little, electricity flying through his chest, and pressed back against Seto's tongue with his own. He raised his hands and cupped Seto's cheeks, guiding the kiss, showing that he wanted this contact just as much as Seto did himself.
Maybe it was just too scary for the CEO.
The other pulled away quickly, replacing his fingertips with his palms and forcing their lips apart. He placed his hands on the wall, on either side of Yami's head, "No." He said, his voice suddenly dangerous, "No. Yami, you can't keep doing that."
The shorter duelist furrowed his eyebrows, feeling frustrated with Seto still standing over him. The CEO wasn't supposed to care; he wasn't supposed to feel like their connection meant anything. Before it was always Yami coming and them just…being together. It wasn't supposed to mean a thing.
Yet for some reason both of the boys felt like it was so much more.
Why was Yami getting upset? Wasn't that what he wanted? Didn't he want Seto to care about him and miss him when he was gone? Wasn't that the one thing that the CEO needed in his life? Compassion? Companionship?
…Love?
Or...was he just upset because Seto was going to be alone after finally somehow caring about someone?
"And…" The duelist started, crossing his arms around his chest, "What exactly am I doing?"
Seto didn't answer, and for the first time since they met, averted his gaze from Yami's. He…really was hurting inside from all of this, and the Pharaoh just couldn't tell how he wanted to feel about it. He couldn't tell if he wanted Seto's feelings even though he was going to have to forget about it before long.
He stood up as straight as he could and gave Seto a simple kiss on the lips, "Is it...that?"
Again, the billionaire wouldn't answer. He looked down at Yami, that look still in his eyes, and blinked. He didn't answer, but Yami knew his response all the same.
Seto leaned forward again and kissed the smaller teen hungrily; he needed this. To Seto, this kiss was not something that showed how much he might have loved Yami. It was something that he had to do to show himself that he could feel something like it. It was not impossible for him to love anyone, and once the person that he cared about got inside, they were never going to leave.
Yami wasn't leaving…not really. He wrapped his arms around Seto's thin waist and kissed him back, telling himself that he'd never forget the man's flavor and wondering if he could really keep that promise.
"You have a duel tomorrow." Seto's lips were barely an inch from Yami's, but then he moved them to suck lightly on his ear. He bit down slightly, "The most important of your life."
"It is, isn't it?" Yami whispered, tightening his hold on the man and pressing into his humid breath, "My last."
Seto moved to Yami's mouth again and sucked on his top lip.
"I wish you wouldn't say that," He murmured, nuzzling into the shorter duelist's neck before kissing his mouth again. Yami was almost surprised by this, and grasped the other's shirt in his hands in an attempt to gain some sort of comfort; the CEO never told anyone of the things that he truly wanted in his heart. Maybe Yami, after all of this time and slight confusion, had finally gotten inside. Maybe Seto realized that one thing that he needed to know to get ahead in life.
"Am I supposed to lie to you?" Yami inquired, trying to make this into a game like it always was. It was supposed to be a sport, always fun, always challenging.
This time, though, it wasn't, and Yami realized that his question was actually a real one.
Seto stopped toying with Yami's mouth and leaned backwards, frowning, something that Yami had seen far too many times previously, "It's not like you haven't before."
Yami's slick mouth dropped; he couldn't believe where this conversation was going. They've never thought about something as significant as trust before, "I've never lied to you," His voice was low but not quite a whisper.
As Seto stared at him and wondered whether the Pharaoh was lying or not, Yami bit his lip, realizing that he wanted to know something that had never crossed his mind, "Have you ever lied to me, Kaiba?"
Yami had never actually asked himself if Seto had told him something that wasn't true, but that wasn't really the point, was it? Yami wanted to know if Seto's kisses and touches were real…he couldn't care less about his words.
The CEO's gaze went right through Yami's flesh. What was he thinking? Did Yami even want to know? "No," Seto shook his head, "I haven't lied to you, either." His statement was simple, but Yami could tell that there was something much more hidden inbetween it. Was Seto talking about words, or the same thing that Yami was?
The Pharaoh loosened his hold on the CEO and looked him in the eyes, trying to figure out what he was getting at. Seto could be so roundabout sometimes, Yami didn't know what to think. He didn't want to think the wrong thing and be disappointed. He wanted to be correct…and disappointed all the same.
He stepped back, "Never?"
Seto smirked, his eyes burning with that passion that he assumed when he was issued with a challenge, "Never."
Yami smiled broadly at Seto for the first time in his memory and moved his arms so that they rested on the back of the opposite's neck. He kissed the CEO on the mouth with everything that he had, then walked forward, taking advantage of Seto's apparent surprise, and pushed him into the opposite wall, tangling his slender fingers into the CEO's smooth chestnut hair. He loved this feeling of being in charge, but most of all, he loved the feeling of Seto letting him do it.
Pulling back, Yami looked at Seto with something like sadness in his eyes; he couldn't stay for long, because Yugi could wake up and finally catch them in the act, or...
They could get attached. Before, perhaps, when everything had just started between them, maybe it would have been alright for them to fall in love or at least learn that there was a chance. But not now. To grow an attachment now...would have been one of the saddest things that Yami could ever remember.
And it was sad, because Yami knew that he was becoming attached, and he was falling in love. And...if Seto felt the same way that he did, then he would be the one that was hurting. Yami wouldn't remember...and even if he did, he still had something to look forward to because he would be with people that really cared about him...he'd have Seth, and...who knew what would happen then?
But Seto...no one would love him, and...the one that he loved would be gone.
Why was this happening?
"I'm going now," Seto said, looking at Yami with yet another new look in his eyes, "I...Mokuba might wake up, and I don't want him to worry."
Yami smiled...maybe Seto did learn something after all...and maybe life for the CEO wouldn't be so difficult without him. "Good night, Kaiba."
For some reason...that was okay with Yami. He was fine with the fact that Seto could live with him or without him, because it made it just a little bit easier for him to leave. And who knew...maybe Seto really didn't love him...but at least now Yami knew that he cared, even if the CEO didn't know it himself.
The Pharaoh walked away, knowing that he had just made a difference in a man's life whose future was set in stone. He made someone love him, even if it was a love that would never go anywhere, and even if it was a love that he would never realize even if it was told to his face. It was the kind of love that never hurt anyone.
And that was the best kind of love that there was.
"Yami."
Said duelist turned around and gazed up into the blue eyes that were Seto Kaiba; the CEO had never called him back before; he wondered what more there was to say. "Yes?"
There was another one of those pauses; the kind that was neither awkward nor comfortable, and was just there because it was. It was...neutral, something that Yami and Seto never seemed to be.
"Good luck tomorrow."
Yami blinked slowly, drinking in the image of Seto Kaiba standing there with normal poise in a normal pose; the image that he would remember...until the day that he died. "...Thank you." And with that, the Pharaoh turned around and walked away for good, knowing that while nothing would be the same ever again for anyone on this boat, not all change was bad.
Yami could move on to the afterlife now, and everything would be okay. He felt it in his heart.
Seto walked back into his room, that fire burning warmer than ever in his chest. He looked at his brother, his hair still sticking out of the white blankets, then sat down on the mattress, "Mokuba," He whispered, shaking his shoulder, "Mokuba, wake up."
The smaller Kaiba woke up groggily, and only pushed the sheet off of himself enough to uncover his face, "Nii-sama?" He asked, "Seto, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," The older Kaiba replied, "I just…I wanted to tell you that I'm taking the next couple of days off."
"Really?" It was obvious that Mokuba still hadn't woken up fully, "No work at all?"
Seto shook his head, "No work at all. Okay?" He paused, watching as Mokuba's gray eyes started to close again; he almost smiled, "Now…go back to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."
Mokuba was already dreaming, "Night…Nii-sama."
"Goodnight Mokuba." Seto whispered, then made his way back over to the couch, where he knew he'd sit for the rest of the night. He still did not feel tired, and instead wanted to sit and just feel the warm weight that was still in his chest and the warm lips that were still on his own. Even though it had happened many times before, that night…it felt different.
Seto wondered what it was.
Author's Notes: And there you go. It was pretty straight-forward, but maybe there was some super awesome meaning that I didn't even aim for. That would be neat.
Was that IC? Oh, I really hope it was::shakes with anticipation:
Please Review.